More BS for the Crock

[turningjapanese]

So, I noticed that CFCMI did NOT post the notes from the Mother's Day service. Now, everybody knows just how important MOTHER'S DAY is; so I was wondering WHY they skipped that particular sermon. Could it be CFC didn't want a repeat of last year's disasterous monologue by Ed, including "gems" such as these:

"Happy Mother's Day! Mothers have things that us guys don't. They have a desire to to things like ... change a diaper!"


"I think the greatest story about the role of mothers is in the Bible where God commands the men not to marry outside of the church."


"Different dictionaries give different definitions for the same word. And God's dictionary has different definitions from yours."


OR.......


Could it be that CFC is trying to downplay the yearly tribute and offering of flowers to the "First Ladies of BS" ?

Either way, it's something to think about. I was really looking forward to what Ed had to say about mothers. I was hoping he'd top last year's psychotic "word salad" mix. Even better, Pete could have drafted yet another infamous "Mother's Day Speech," [partially] admitting the whole church is a silly farce and a scam.

Oh, well....guess I have to wait til next year....

Maybe the old boyz club will be closed by then; having been raided by the IRS and then condemned by the building department.

Peace,
TJ

PS: This year, I hope that you jerks at CFC remembered to mention MARY (the mother of your savior) during your service. Hopefully, you paid homage to all those mothers of the men who suffered at the hands of your founding pervert. After all, don't mothers feel their child's pain? And Ed, people DO realize you are a brainless A**WIPE.

[onetime]

Originally Posted by turningjapanese

So, I noticed that CFCMI did NOT post the notes from the Mother's Day service. Now, everybody knows just how important MOTHER'S DAY is; so I was wondering WHY they skipped that particular sermon. Could it be CFC didn't want a repeat of last year's disasterous monologue by Ed, including "gems" such as these:

"Happy Mother's Day! Mothers have things that us guys don't. They have a desire to to things like ... change a diaper!"


"I think the greatest story about the role of mothers is in the Bible where God commands the men not to marry outside of the church."


"Different dictionaries give different definitions for the same word. And God's dictionary has different definitions from yours."


OR.......


Could it be that CFC is trying to downplay the yearly tribute and offering of flowers to the "First Ladies of BS" ?

Either way, it's something to think about. I was really looking forward to what Ed had to say about mothers. I was hoping he'd top last year's psychotic "word salad" mix. Even better, Pete could have drafted yet another infamous "Mother's Day Speech," [partially] admitting the whole church is a silly farce and a scam.

Oh, well....guess I have to wait til next year....

Maybe the old boyz club will be closed by then; having been raided by the IRS and then condemned by the building department.

Peace,
TJ

PS: This year, I hope that you jerks at CFC remembered to mention MARY (the mother of your savior) during your service. Hopefully, you paid homage to all those mothers of the men who suffered at the hands of your founding pervert. After all, don't mothers feel their child's pain? And Ed, people DO realize you are a brainless A**WIPE.

You nailed it TJ.

These knuckleheads haven't a clue about what true mothers are, only the slutty imitations of the real thing that they live with each and every day. These plastic phonies feel no pain for others. They are only interesting in satisfying their own urges and appetites.

Evangelize, Educate, Equip.

Deceive, Dupe and Denounce.

What a freakin joke. The Mothers of Ozyland!

[onetime]

...minus the "r."

[bramble]

1) Get Real

2) Totus Tuus--Totally Yours

3) Jesus is Lord

4) We walk by faith, not by sight.

5) The Truth will set you free.

6) I am the Way, the Truth, the Light. No one goes through the Father except through Me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nowhere is it written that L.R. Davis is the Father. Ditto for Ed and Pete. It is not written that CFCMI is the Way to the Father either. It, also, is not written that Trinitarian baptism is invalid. If I'm wrong, prove it, you CFCers.

[turningjapanese]

Well, it appears that CFC has 'officially' pulled the plug on Ft. Lauderdale, although that fellowship dried up months ago.

Not to worry---the Waukegan branch (what's left) are now meeting in a hotel.

Join the cultie fun!

http://www.glmilitaryfellowship.org/.../FM_Funnin.jpg

absolutely pathetic.

[turningjapanese]

http://www.glmilitaryfellowship.org/...%20Study8L.jpg

WTF???

[turningjapanese]

How freakishly weird is it for Hazel to be at "church" with her husbands' ex-lovers.....

sitting with them, "worshipping" and singing with them....WTF?

Some 'oldheads' may be festering with syphilis because of Nasty LR, and there is Biddy Hazel, hanging in the Boyz Club with LR's geezer man-wh0re$.... It's disgusting and sick.

Beyond any logical comprehension.

[onetime]

Originally Posted by turningjapanese

How freakishly weird is it for Hazel to be at "church" with her husbands' ex-lovers.....

sitting with them, "worshipping" and singing with them....WTF?

Some 'oldheads' may be festering with syphilis because of Nasty LR, and there is Biddy Hazel, hanging in the Boyz Club with LR's geezer man-wh0re$.... It's disgusting and sick.

Beyond any logical comprehension.

Maybe we need to start a new thread:

Freakishly Weird Hazel

[turningjapanese]

Hazel and the man-wh0re$.

Sounds like a bad sitcom; like BJ and the Bear.

[onetime]

Originally Posted by turningjapanese

Hazel and the man-wh0re$.

Sounds like a bad sitcom; like BJ and the Bear.

Might be the next cult horror film along the lines of Night of the Living Dead.

[turningjapanese]

Homo-Zombies that lurk in a Boyz Club.

I like it.

It's the sequel to "The Karcher".

[turningjapanese]

Forgive me, I am laughing so hard I can barely write what I need to say....

Paine says:

"Saints, I believe that our best days our ahead of us. I believe that we're on the verge of an explosion of ministry beyond our wildest dreams. I believe that soon and very soon, this building won't be big enough to hold us. I believe that soon we will see fellowships opening up around the world, as we send out fellowship leaders."

What a load! LOL!

C'mon, now, Pete....this is worse than Chinese propaganda. NOBODY believes your re-hashed lies anymore! It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself that your "Jesus has spoken" vision is actually going to come true. Anyone who believes this crap needs a brain scan.

The CFCMI legacy in Norfolk will be no different than what it was in Waukegan: A syphilitic cult led by self-serving cons. Something to be real PROUD OF, huh?!

[onetime]

“A lie told often enough becomes truth” – Vladimir Lenin

Peter Pan Paine takes a page out of old Vlad’s book, as well as others who have used variations of this same idea (like Joseph Goebbels, propaganda minister for Nazi Germany).

Consider: Peter Pan—standing hip-deep in the sewer of CFCMI—boldly proclaims that Ozymandias’ crumbling kingdom is actually on the rise! (You go girl!) Like philosophical zombies, they just keep coming, no matter what!

“A philosophical zombie, p-zombie or p-zed is a hypothetical being that is indistinguishable from a normal human being except that it lacks conscious experience, qualia, or sentience. When a zombie is poked with a sharp object, for example, it does not feel any pain. While it behaves exactly as if it does feel pain (it may say "ouch" and recoil from the stimulus), it does not actually have the experience of pain as a putative 'normal' person does.” – from Wikipedia

"This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, And says, "I have done no wrong." – Proverbs 30:20

“I don’t care what he is doing…As long as I am living for God and I am doing the right thing, it doesn’t matter what he is doing.” – Peter Paine, page 415, Transcripts of Illinois vs. Lloyd R. Davis, http://abusivechurches.com.

Doing the right thing? Could you define that please, Peter Pan?

“Saints, I believe that our best days our [sic] ahead of us. I believe that we're on the verge of an explosion of ministry beyond our wildest dreams. I believe that soon and very soon, this building won't be big enough to hold us. I believe that soon we will see fellowships opening up around the world, as we send out fellowship leaders. I believe that we will see mentoring teams mentoring mentoring-mentoring teams.” – Peter Pan Paine, Crumbling Pillars, 8/12/09

Oh…I see. You actually think that—you still cling to the belief that you are going to be the biggest (fill-in-the-blank) whatever in the world. Mentor, mentor, mentor...Mentor-on-the-Lake....…zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Yeah.

“The keyword here is blackwhite…this word has two mutually contradictory meanings…it means the habit of impudently claiming that black is white, in contradiction of the plain facts…it means a loyal willingness to say that black is white…but it means also the ability to believe that black is white, and more, to know that black is white and to forget that one has ever believed the contrary. This demands a continuous alteration of the past, made possible by the system of thought known as doublethink. Doublethink is basically the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.” – George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four

Think of the psychological damage or “baggage” that Paine/Thomas are bequeathing to their progeny. Oh well, there’s good and evil in the world today and I ‘spect that it be that way for awhile, at least. No big surprise here.

“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” – William James

If you have a sense of humor, this is all very funny. Not a lot of humor (or common sense) in the CFCMI camp, however. Too worried about money.

“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” – Isaiah 5:20

Good, evil...evil, good...to Paine and Thomas, it’s all blackwhite.

[Note: If there are any doctoral candidates in the field of Abnormal Psychology, CFCMI is a gold mine of information for a dissertation!]

[turningjapanese]

Originally Posted by onetime

If you have a sense of humor, this is all very funny. Not a lot of humor (or common sense) in the CFCMI camp, however. Too worried about money.

This is the funniest:

Vision

Twenty-five fellowships
Two hundred in our minister's college
A Thousand in our world-wide-headquarters

It's even funnier after a few shots of Absolute.

Where in Norfolk are they going to find one thousand pedophile-worshipping weirdos to fill up Ed's gym???

[bramble]

So if they were to split up into groups of two by two to establish 25 different fellowships nationwide or worldwide there would be no one left in their Worldwide headquarters. There aren't enough of them any more.

It is all bluff and fluff again!

What if someone under the guise of setting up fellowships in different locales actually just left? It could happen!

I truly believe that one could leave CFC AND Pentecostalism all together without going to Hell. I don't see God as being that legalistic or punitive.

We must love sinners. We must hate sin. It is dangerous and wrong to assume that outsiders are demonically influenced. I know of people who are so obsessed with money that they are controlled by some sort or evil spirit. Maybe making or saving money is more important to them than saving lives. In any case, these money grubbing 'pastors' have opened themselves up to evil influences. "The love of money is the root of all evil." These guys need to spend less and take outside jobs. SELL SOMETHING!

Money is a tool. Jesus says we must not worry about what to wear or what we will eat. God is taking care of us.

[turningjapanese]

I nominate these dudes to set up new cult fellowships:

http://www.glmilitaryfellowship.org/.../FM_Staff1.jpg


The two on the left can be sent back to Kentucky; pink shirt guy and Jethro could be shipped out to San Francisco.

[onetime]

Originally Posted by turningjapanese

I nominate these dudes to set up new cult fellowships:

http://www.glmilitaryfellowship.org/.../FM_Staff1.jpg

The two on the left can be sent back to Kentucky; pink shirt guy and Jethro could be shipped out to San Francisco.

As in totally f-ed up?

L-R in the picture above: Trip, Stumble, Fall and What, Me Worry? on location at the Museum.

Gives a whole new meaning to the proverb found in Luke 4:23: “Physician, heal thyself!”

Even when I was with the (then) Christian Fellowship Incorporated, I quickly began to believe that a great number of religious leaders can’t do anything else successful in life, so they want to be “pastors,” leading other, weaker people. Oh well, every kennel needs alpha Chihuahuas.

Get along little doggies!

[turningjapanese]

For all their preaching on "love not the world," our pseudo-religious friends have a page on Facebook.

You culties are a day late and a dollar short. Having a few "fans" on a social networking site is laughable considering all the negative press you generated on a city forum that shall remain nameless.

I bet you clods could interest a whole 'nother sub-group of Facebook users if you had a site called "VICTIMS OF LR DAVIS."

[onetime]

This, according to “Largest Jesus Name Ministry of Knotted Ass Dodo Birds in the World.”

Originally Posted by turningjapanese

For all their preaching on "love not the world," our pseudo-religious friends have a page on Facebook.

You culties are a day late and a dollar short. Having a few "fans" on a social networking site is laughable considering all the negative press you generated on a city forum that shall remain nameless.

I bet you clods could interest a whole 'nother sub-group of Facebook users if you had a site called "VICTIMS OF LR DAVIS."

The CFCMI frauds actually dearly love the things of this world. They love:

• Money
• Things that money can buy (motorsickles, homes in Moyock far away from the “brethren,” etc.)
• Valium
• Gay founding pastors
• Perverted sex
• Slutty whores (only those in “leadership positions”)
• Pornography
• Convicted felons
• Molestation of minors

You get the "worldy" picture.

[turningjapanese]

Originally Posted by onetime

The CFCMI frauds actually dearly love the things of this world.

"We live in a fallen world, and the Bible says that if you're a friend of the world, you're an enemy of God." Ed Thomas

This is coming from a guy who is on a social networking site!!! How many "friends of the world" do you have on Facebook, Ed!?? CFCMI doesn't have very many "fans", considering it's 30 year history of exploiting dumb sailors.

As your beloved mentor Lloyd said (as he was sharing his strain of syphilis with no-love-involved anal sex) "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways."

That would be you.