Question to Any Kids Who Survived the Alamo Foundation

[neasie]

This goes out to any of the "kids" like myself who were raised in the foundation. I myself left in 1985, and while I have some good memories of my childhood, I remember too many people that were just evil. How do you deal with people like Alamo,Garris,Kenworthy,LaRoche and Mick, and I could go on and on... I would not be opposed to a renuion or anything...but I will NOT EVER forget what these people did to myself and mostly to my brother Darren. How do you move on?

I won't even step into a church. I do not understand the concept. Any feedback would be appreciated. You can even email me at p0g0sgirl@yahoo.com

Neasie(Denise)

[christophr19]

Neasie,

You could always talk to the ones who are still around. Tell them how they made you feel, and about how they treated you and your brother. Give them a chance to ask your forgiveness(ask for an apology, if you need to)....and if they don't take the opportunity to apologize....shake their dust off your feet, and leave them to their own hardened hearts.
You actually are not far off in your feelings about church, however. The modern church has strayed soo far away from what Jesus taught that the institution has become nothing more than whited sepulchers, and dens of thieving hypocrites. And to all who would defend the church you attend....if the shoe doesn't fit, it aint your shoe.
Pick any subject about modern church...........
Tithing, building funds, "purpose driven life", dress code, myriad different and contradicting bibles, church programs (you know that little booklet they hand you when you walk in; that tries to direct the spirit, instead of vice versa). And we could point out in the Bible how Jesus didn't set up these "traditions", man did. And men did this, to fleece people! Tithing for instance. God set up tithing for the priesthood, right? Cuz they couldn't support themselves while being priests to Isreal. That was the purpose, thats it. So when Jesus died on the cross and fulfilled the law; He did away with the priesthood and all that went with it. The sacrifices, incense, etc... So, tell me why they still collect a tithe for a priesthood that no longer exists?!? I will tell you why. Look how much money they have made off of gullible church goers. I went to a church for a few years(one of many), where I watched the pastor come in to a small church, preach a bunch of sweet words to an audience lapping it up; whereby the church grew in size.
That pastor went from a barely making it preacher, to having 3(very expensive)cars, a mini mansion, a beautiful boat, and skin-teeth-hair-and-tan to show where all the tithes went. And after all this, his wife gets caught stealing out of the offering plate; which of course got hushed up. To make it all the sweeter, you had to be on a month waiting list to "schedule a meeting".
I do not attend any organized cult's church services. The meaning of the word cult is: Pronunciation: 'k&lt
Function: noun
Usage: often attributive
Etymology: French & Latin; French culte, from Latin cultus care, adoration, from colere to cultivate -- more at WHEEL
1 : formal religious veneration : WORSHIP
2 : a system of religious beliefs and ritual; also : its body of adherents.

I realized that if the Father created the whole universe, our world, etc....to be such a beatiful and wondrous place to show off HIS handiwork; what the HAAA-CHOO! would I be doing going to worship HIM in a little walled in box with a bunch of people to hear our conversation??
I am in service at all times. What, you(church goers in general) want me to leave my service, and come listen to what some schill says that god is telling him(give me money)??? Why would I do that? Go away, you are disrupting the Spirit. Can't you see I am trying to have a service here?

Yea, so anyway. That was just my thought on your question.
Good day and God bless. Tophr}}

[no_stoppin_me]

Denise,

Someone told me a long time ago something that has stuck with me all these years....I have never forgotten it...

You must always remember that you did not CHOOSE to be raised in a cult! You did not CHOOSE to be abused by adults! You did not CHOOSE to have your family broken up!

You were not like your parents and the other adults that CHOSE to leave their so called "normal" lives and forsake their families on the outside and live in a cult.

I have learned to live every day to its fullest. To never forget where you came from, but to look ahead to the life that you have now.

As far as the whole church thing. I hear ya, loud and clear. I have the "been there, done that" attitude when it comes to going to church. I feel like "church" is in your heart and you dont need some fancy building or regimented system.

Those are my thoughts....Not all will agree, but ain't it great to be free????

Julie

[wilma]

Neasie,
The thing that helped me most was reading books about spiritual abuse & cults, talking with other former members, and going to Wellspring and cult conferences. I've been going to conferences once a year since 2001. I'm going again this year in Denver....June 22-24th.

As far as going to church....well I tried after leaving the Foundation and ended up with another up and coming cult leader....I got out of there quick LOL! I still have faith in God and fellowship informally with many Christians but I don't go to church for months/years at a time. I have become the kind of Christian that I would not have associated with (in my Foundation days) and I love it ;-) I believe God loves me and isn't looking to snuff me out. I no longer live in fear.

I hope and pray that I was never a person that added to your grief. I really thought I was "serving God" all those years and tried to do what I thought was right. But, nevertheless, the things that were required of us were to stay on each other, report each other, and basically emotionally abuse each other. Because of what was required of us, my own kids suffered neglect and abuse (I have apologized to them and tried to make things right). I have repented for being part of that whole system, and by my participation, supporting it. I have tried to apologize to anyone who I know I personally harmed.

Neasie, I was at the Foundation for 25 years....from 18 to 43 years of age. When I came out I purposed to understand my involvement there. Because of that I talked to former members, read, and experienced healing. I had to come to terms with God and who He really is....not the God of the Alamo Foundation. I have found peace in God's grace. It has been an interesting journey....sometimes with pain, yet much joy.
I wish you peace,
Susie

[christophr19]

I love you Mrs. Groulx. I am glad that you have been such a close friend to my mom; it has been wonderful having you as sort of second mom.

As far as your worries about being one of the people who made the foundation unbearable; you never chased other people around telling them what there problems were, you were too busy chasing jesse and micah around.
I can still hear it.......JESSE! MICAH! Stop picking fights with each other! Jesse, don't atagonize your brother. Micah, you leave jesse alone. If you don't stop trying to cheat each other, I will have to take away the monopoly game. And stop trying to steal all chris' properties, and money. It's a game, you are supposed to play each other, not cheat each other.
P.S. tell Micah and Jesse I said hello, and whus hoppenin?

[smitty]

Talking about the school brought back a question I had from long ago...While I was up at the Ridge,I was doing all of the architectural drafting for the buildings we built.At the same time I belive Dale Garris was teaching drafting to some of the kids at the school (Nate Funmaker and Pete Levine at least.)and I always wondered why I wasn't tapped to do that as I would have LOVED to teach them as "Interns". Certainly I could have used the help, and they would have gotten a truly useful skill.
Sorry if this seems beside the point of the other conversations, the question has bugged me off and on so I thought I'd just throw it out.

[no_stoppin_me]

Tom,

Drafting was only taught for like one year, I think. I don't think it lasted long. And it was in the school in Dyer. I dont believe Dale G. taught in Dyer (I could be wrong). Carolyn P would know for sure.

I don't know what the criteria was for becoming a teacher. TA and SA probably didnt want to take you away from the all-important task of designing their mansion to teach some little snot nose kids.

Julie

[smitty]

Well, I can't take credit for the "mansion" Tony used a Little Rock based architect for that (and then ripped him off.)Nothing there that a couple of cases of TNT wouldn't cure!Mostly I did plans for the other houses, apartments, dorms, school ect on the ridge as well as stuff in Alma and Nashville.I guess you're right about the criteria tho' I learning to design, you have to learn to think for yourself. That would have been a major problem for Tony and Sue.

[wilma]

I love you too, Chris. I cherish all the old memories of the good times our families have had together, especially after the Ridge.......our van ride to Saugus with detour to the Grand Canyon (good thing Tony never found out about that), our times at the Hyde House and Ferndale in Fort Smith, our schooling together (until Tony wrecked that). Fishing trips to Okla with Pete at Marval campground, boat trip with your Dad's little boat that Tony made him get rid of (can't have any fun, now can we?), lakes and streams we used to go visit and fun we had. We crammed a lot of fun into 1992 and 1993 after the raid, and before Tony started another rule of terror and complete control again. Then after we got out of the 'joint" (as Gorbzz calls it) remember the Daytona condo on the beach?? I treasure the friendship I've had with you and your family throughout the years. Do you have any favorite memories?
One of the things I did gain at the Foundation were deep friendships with some incredible people. We have a bond with some people that is like gold. I look forward to visiting your Mom and auntie Ann next month.

Smitty,
I don't have any exact details on what you're asking but can only say that I do know that Tony rarely did anything that made sense. He was such an inferior little creature that he hated to see anyone excel at what they were best at. He would use someone to accomplish HIS own goals and projects but wouldn't go so far as allowing them any credit for it. We had some incredibly gifted people at the Foundation but Tony never let anyone fully develop those talents.

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mom's. I spent yesterday with my Mom, Aunt, sister, and niece. We had lunch, looked through old family pictures and then swam and hung around the pool reminiscing. It was a fun, leisure day. I am just so incredibly thankful to God that He has given me the opportunity to love and reconnect with family.
Susie