Tonybs new version of the Bible

[iasmann (iasmann)]

Several people have mentioned that Tony is rewriting the Bible. At first I didn't believe it but I made some discreet inquiries and dropped a little green stuff in the right places. My efforts paid off. One of my contacts on the "inside" recently smuggled out a manuscript. Tony's new Bible will be called the "HAT" (Holy Alamo Translation).

Here is an excerpt from the HAT

"A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of at least one wife. More would be better because it shows how powerful he is to rule so many wives. A bishop must always be vigilant, sober at times although there is nothing wrong with having a few drinks at a night club now and then. It shows what a powerhouse he is in God if he is able to get falling down drunk and still quote scriptures and rebuke weasels. He must not be of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to boss around; Not given to wine because hard liquor is better, no striker, he must have underlings do the striking for him except in the case of his wives and children, not greedy of filthy lucre but of clean lucre; impatient, not covetous meaning that no one in the church should have more or better stuff than him, that way there is nothing to covet.
One that ruleth well his own house, beating his wives and children into subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he ramrod the church of God?) (1 Timothy 3:2-5 HAT )

[arron (arron)]

you got to be kidding.. no one would write such stuff as that. would they?????

[arron (arron)]

you got to be kidding.. no one would write such stuff as that. would they?????

[lightergirl (lightergirl)]

you guys just can't stop lying, can you?!

[hollydolly (hollydolly)]

u people won't admit to whats really going on in tony's house........isn't that the same as lying u little <font color="ff0000">•</font><font color="ff0000">•</font><font color="ff0000">•</font><font color="ff0000">•</font><font color="ff0000">•</font><font color="ff0000">•</font><font color="ff0000">•</font>?lololo

[christophr19 (christophr19)]

Well, is it lying if they really believe the garbage they are saying?
What if they really don't know? Hey, to all of you alamo supporters out there.....are you sure, on your eternal souls, that we are lying about tony??? Are you really willing to risk your eternal lives for one man, whom you don't know all that well??? It is up to you, wake up, think for yourselves, pray to God, and open your eyes. See the filth that surrounds tony like a shroud. Compare tony to JESUS (the only example, in life, that you will ever need ) then fast and REALLY pray.....then after all that....tell us that you know before God the Father that tony is innocent of all the things we accuse him of. Remember, the Father is always recording.http://www.factnet.org/discus/clipart/happy.gif

[lightergirl (lightergirl)]

hollydolly,
I won’t admit to a lie, you can just forget about that and watch your filthy mouth like christohpr said God is watching and recording everthing and I know he’s HATES a froward mouth.
Christophr19,
I read and pray everyday, and the more I read I can see that everything Tony is saying in the tapes and tracts lines up in the bible and I weigh that against a bunch of false accusations the have no proof to back them up and I’ll take the bible anyday

[christophr19 (christophr19)]

HAhahahaahahaaahahah!
HAHAH AHAHAHAAAHAAAAHAA!
haha ahaheahaheahahe ha YEAHGH!
haa....hahaaa......hahaee....hee....hee....uhgh... um. Wooooh! I think I just peed my pants a little.
To: littlegirl.
once again, you didn't do as I asked you to do, but your response was exactly what I expected from a baby robot like yourself.

[hollydolly (hollydolly)]

baby robot! lolol soooooooo true

[christophr19 (christophr19)]

thank you cuz, I try.
No applause, just throw money!

[wilma (wilma)]

Regarding Tony Alamo's new Bible version....Hey Lighter girl, why don't you lighten up? It's obvious that Ian is kidding about the Bible version thing..quote from 1 Timothy ch 3...But, those are Tony Alamo's ACTIONS to a tee.
Sad to say but it's true.
Susie G

(Message edited by wilma on January 18, 2006)

[carolfryer (carolfryer)]

I do pray that lightergirl gets some time behind the lines, real close to TA. Enough time to see the one only those at his side see. Then you will begin to spot the other things he says and does in public. Then they will stick out like a sore threatening thumb.

[raining (raining)]

Even satan knows how to quote scriptures! We all know that quoting scriptures doesn't mean you are a true follower of Christ.

Tony's lips boast of great works, however he is like a whited sepulcher. White and looks wonderful on the outside, but inside he is full of filth,perversion and corruption.

[anchored (anchored)]

for sure lightergirl needs to live up to her name. she's way too intense. lol

[raining (raining)]

I wasn't trying to infer that tony is white and looks wonderful either, I was referring to the whited sepulcher!

Tony has bug eyes,short and wears elevator boots, dyes his hair, he is an old perverted 70 year dirty old man who rapes little girls, making him a pedophile, sex offender.

He tells these under age girls that God is telling him they are suppose to be one of tony's wives, and if they don't God is going to punish them. They will die soon and burn in hell.
It amazes me that god only tells tony this, you would think God would also reveal His plan to the person it was happening to!

Tony lies to fulfill his lusts. He should be a registered sex offender. His title should be World pervert, not world pastor!

[carolfryer (carolfryer)]

I was just remembering how when Lisa Larrison took off from the foundation, she just walked down through the woods and kept going and she was just a child. I have to admire her for being that brave and going past that fear of not being sure theres a place to go. A child did that. BRavo Lisa!!!! I had a home and was pretty secure even though I wouldnt have food and and a way to pay for the house....I still had some time to work with. Tony didnt have me altogether where he wanted me. And God worked it to our advantage because Tony sent Jody home and she started working to help. I wasnt in the condition to work. I was pretty pregnant...lol
God has blessed me sense then with a wonderful new relationship with Him. Renewed passion and renewed worship. Hes so faithful to have His arms out waiting when He knows our hearts want Him and need Him. Im so thankful that I feel that need alot. I pray that He draws me close. But I pray for others that He would not only free them outside , but let them close to know the security and saftey that is in Him. He is satisfaction when you hunger for Him. He designed it that way because He will have no other Gods before Him.

Isnt that so true raining....that the devils know scripture and they beleive. There is only saftey and trust IN Jesus.

[iasmann (iasmann)]

Lightergirl,

We know Tony is telling you what to say. You know why. Because only Tony would be stupid enough to take my post about the HAT seriously.

Everyone else took it for what it was - a joke. Some thought it was funny, some thought it was stupid and some may have been offended at my joking about a serious situation. But, I promise you, no one but no one took it seriously. Only Tony would do that. Only Tony is that immature.

[hollydolly (hollydolly)]

lololol

[carolfryer (carolfryer)]

hey guys, I have e mailed Bill OReilly and sent him this site address. Can someone else do it too. Hes got a real soft spot for kids.

[skeptik (skeptik)]

Hmmmm, TA on the O'Reilly Factor; I'm down with it. Seems I'd plan my whole day around that one. I don't know that TA would come through the Fox News Channel experience completely unscathed. Get him on with Linda Vester, Brian Kilmeade, Brit Hume or Greta Van Susteren, we'd be talking great TV.

[false_prophet_detector (false_prophet_detector)]

this one time at one of the visits to the prison. sharon brought tony his hair dye in the ketchup packets that they used to smuggle in his dye. well sharon discreetly passed tony the packets and tony proceeded to sqeeze the dye into his hand and would pass his hands through his hair while talking to the sisters. this way he could appear to have a much more youthful look, only to his surprise his wives had all gotten very quiet and started to look away from him with terror in their eyes. poopa tony said WHAT to which sharon replied,very timidly: your hair is green
poopa tony: WHAT?
sharon: the dye turned your hair green
tony just about exploded right there. but he somehow kept his calm and let it fester and brew for that 3hour sermon he would bring later.
true story i have good sources lol

[carolfryer (carolfryer)]

lol eric...couldnt stop laughing on that one.

[iasmann]

More info on the HAT (Holy Alamo Translation).


Tony plans on doing one of his fabulous promos when the HAT comes out. He’s already working on a number of slogans. My inside source has smuggled some out. It did cost me however. The CIA is tightening up right now so I had to throw in almost half of my own government check just to get this info. It means I’ll be late on my Dodge Viper payment this month but hey, I can outrun the repo man in it anyway so who cares.

Back to more serious matters.

Tony’s Ad campaigns often center around slogans. He says the best slogans, “stick in your brain like hair in the drain”

Some of his slogans for the HAT:
“The Bible does say it rains on the just
When out you go the HAT is a must

“You can live in a place with a dog or a cat
but a man’s home is where he hangs his HAT.”

This new Bible version is the best in the nation.
It has become the HAT of salvation.

He’s even got a chapter in the book of Tony that tells about his miraculous deliverance from jail. How he only served 6 years out of a 6 year sentence. It’s called, “The cat in the HAT comes back.”

More later. One of the things I learned in mind control 101 was not to give out too much info at once

[iasmann]

More info on the HAT (Holy Alamo Translation).


Tony plans on doing one of his fabulous promos when the HAT comes out. He’s already working on a number of slogans. My inside source has smuggled some out. It did cost me however. The CIA is tightening up right now so I had to throw in almost half of my own government check just to get this info. It means I’ll be late on my Dodge Viper payment this month but hey, I can outrun the repo man in it anyway so who cares.

Back to more serious matters.

Tony’s Ad campaigns often center around slogans. He says the best slogans, “stick in your brain like hair in the drain”

Some of his slogans for the HAT:
“The Bible does say it rains on the just
When out you go the HAT is a must

“You can live in a place with a dog or a cat
but a man’s home is where he hangs his HAT.”

This new Bible version is the best in the nation.
It has become the HAT of salvation.

He’s even got a chapter in the book of Tony that tells about his miraculous deliverance from jail. How he only served 6 years out of a 6 year sentence. It’s called, “The cat in the HAT comes back.”

More later. One of the things I learned in mind control 101 was not to give out too much info at once.

[no_stoppin_me]

Iann you crack me up!

[iasmann]

Tony is really excited about the chapter in the Book of Tony called "The cat in the HAT comes back"

Of course, we all know that it's the Title of a popular kids book.

That's what has Tony so excited. The little girls love it. He's even going to do an illustrated triple XXX rated version just for them.

By the way he'll be wearing his elevator boots in all the illustrations. It wouldn't do to be shorter than a bunch of kids.

Someone mentioned that Dr. Seus had already used that title but Tony said, "Well, we changed it around so now it's ours."

[cmingus]

Ian .......you da man.....definitely worth the price of admission LOL

[wilma]

Ian said, "He’s even got a chapter in the book of Tony that tells about his miraculous deliverance from jail. How he only served 6 years out of a 6 year sentence. It’s called, “The cat in the HAT comes back.”

ROFL LOL Ian, that is TOO FUNNY!!!!