Can you admit you were angry at the Lord

[jackrussell]

Yes I can, and I am sorry Lord. Like Jonah in the belly of the whale, I was, when I left the TSACF in 1973. Having only spent 2 1/2 years in, I saw and received plenty enough by way of salvation. And I already witnessed enough glaring inconsistencies in the culture example of Tony and Sue, but also thought that I had no business preaching their brand of hellfire and brimstone especially when I was still very actively trying to get the rest of the mote out of my own eye. I prayed till I was blue in the face those last few months there and couldn't reckon a defintive answer of what I was supposed to do. So I left.

I became like Jonah, believing I put my best foot forward, without the clear answer I was so needing at the time. I was angry at the Lord, and it was not long before I threw in the towel and took a run in the belly of the whale. I had expected the fireworks, like the early days, to continue, because I really thought I put my shoulder to the wheel but something happened along the way from the Lord, and it seemed like the sounds of silence.

So, for that and other reasons, I sought to eventually recapture the moment of those 'early days' and return to the TSACF and hope that everything would be ok. I remained a closet supporter of the TSACF, thru the 70's and into the 80's because it was not all just about Tony and Sue, it was about the bros and sisters I identified with that were still grinding it out and suffering there that I believed to be beacons of light, and I really felt kind of guilty as somewhat of a traitor for leaving, but I could not help myself. Now I realize it was the Lord that gat me out, just wish He would have told me a little more at the time of the gravity of the big picture, so then I would have actively fought, tooth and nail, to warn and pursue other members release, if they were to lsten then, as we are all doing now, some 34 years later.

[mixter1]

Jack you are hitting it on the nail. I had those
feelings. In reality I was angry at the an emotional human equation:
TA+SA=God. It follows then that TA+(SA-SA)=(God-SA)=god. Now TA=god(In his own mind). But the truth was I was angry at TASA. TASA made themselves God. With bunk like God told me this, God told that. The 2 prophets. This is why were are here recovering. Associating God with TASA is the hidden emotional identity here. I cut to
chase say:
THEY WERE SOUL STUMBLES!!!!!
Emotions do not know the difference.

The whale is a good symbol because it allows
me the wounded beast illustration.
A blow to the brain or heart are unlikely
in a whale. The creature dies after 3 mortal
harpoons sink into it(usually). 1 perhaps will not kill it and it can survive.
2 is another matter but with the same possibility But, the third harpoon gives this creature no chance to heal at all. It will lose blood. It will die.

The foundation has suffered 2 blows.
1 Susan died. 2. Tony sent to slammer.
The last major blow in the ring will be the T.K.O.
As in Flat-Line, muerte, DEAD... AND WE WILL ALL CHEER!!! All sick little gods die anyway. That place might as well be landfill. TASAF a Cipher.
mixter37@sbcglobal.net

-Mix

[mixter1]

THEY WERE SOUL STUMBLERS -duh.
I experienced anger at God because I was there on false hope. So I felt. Because I was duped. My faith in God is the same thing that should have convicted me. But like Jonah I decided it was time for a holiday- for a breather. Was I a perfect Christian after I left?(Yeah right). I made mistakes. There were times when I would witness. God had mercy. Jack I thought I didn't stand a chance or have a prayer. Why, I'm not sure. Yes I say to the Lord. Lord who am I that you have blessed me in spite of me. I will not go so far as to talk God out of it. I fell to get purified otherwise why would God be with me now. I felt anger at God because I tried and God did not deliver. Something was in the way. This is the heart of it: I ended up being right in my perceptions of TASA. You can take all the variables psychologically and predict TA's private life. Cult pastors do this garbage. TA's got his cookie jar, I'm not impressed.
-Mix

[modesto]

I've been angry with the Lord many times.

[modesto]

The ancient Jews were allowed to be angry with Him.It is only the modern Christians who forbid that.

[brother_d]

Angry? Probably not. Disappointed? Often.

[wild_dream]

I was sort of a closet supporter too after I left and until I heard of the poligamy. I doubted the foundation but I never ever doubted the Lord. He was still with me, teaching me, showing me things, keeping me away from sin, being "a friend that sticketh closer than a brother". A brother had once told me, whatever you do don't stop praising and thanking the Lord, and I think that's the key because praising and thanking him brings you into his presence and keeps you in his presence and mercy and amazing grace. Like you Jack I have often had the same exact thoughts on why would God call me to such a mess. I believe it's because it was a true move of God and a mess, a cult, a duality, at the same time. As time went on the foundation became less and less of a move of God of God, and more and more apostate, void of God, a cult. Until now the real move of God part of the foundation is out of the foundation and is scattered out all over the place. The real move of God still exists and continues on in those of us who have contiued to praise him and thank him and keep his commandmends. Many have stmbled and fallen and have gotten back up, and I belive many others also are getting back up and will continue to get back up as they realize and understand more and more what has really happened as many have been describing here on this forum. Amen

[open_mind]

i still feel somewhat dissapointed in the Lord