Reflekshunz fer UhrgleeToniShmoniLyenLahmo

[phahrrrt_detector]

wut duz da Goohd Boohk sez

hmmmm … les c…

well furst awf

der wuz Loosafur n da kingdum o Hehben
bmembur dat wun Shmoni?

well dont u strane yer brane nun
u knoz u needz yer nrgy
fer yer wife(s) n ahl
so ahz gunna reefresh iht fer u

ol Loosafur wuz uhp n Hehben
wif ahl da Lawdz uddr aingulz
buht we ahl knoz
dat Loosafur wuz speshul
2 da Lawd
yup da Lawd mahd Loosafur
da mos purty n He mahd him
2 sing lahk uh wunnerfull
fancee ihnstramint

u bmembur how iht goze
dont u Shmoni?

well nywayz…
wen da Lawd wuz dun
givn dat be-yoo-tee-ful aingul
ahl da powur
He wuntd him 2 hav
Dat ol Loosafur wuz shur sumptin !!
yes-sur-ree
dat he wuz !

evr thin wuz goin reel goohd
ahl da aingulz wuz prayzen God
n Loosafur wuz jez
uh-leedn dem prayzez
2 da Lawd
happee az uh lahrk
jez lahk God ntindead
fer him 2 b
iht wuz jez pluhm wunnerfull !

n dat wehnt ohn
fer uh goohd lohng whyl
iht did
reel harmoneeus n peazfull
n Godz kingdum iht wuz

den wun day
God cuhld tehl
dat sumptin jez wuznt rite

now Shmoni
dont kihd ursef nun
He knowd strate way
wut iht wuz
cuz duh…
Heez God !

well nywayz …
iht wuz dat Loosafur !
cuz ahl o sudden
he wuntd 2 b
lahk God
2 ahl da uddr aingulz
(wich he aint nevr evr gunna b !)

soz he wuz jez uh-sturrin uhp
uh bihg ol hewge mess uhp der
bringin lyen ahkoz uhginst
God n Jesus
he had sum uh da
uddr aingulz n sech uh tizzee
dey pluhm jez dint kno
wut wuz goin ohn
iht wuz jez ahwful !
Shmoni wurdz caint splane
jez how ahwful iht wuz !!

well da Lawd b c-n ahl dis
buht He dint nturfeer wif iht
nope He jez leht
ol Loosafur keehp ohn
uh-dewin hiz thang !

well dat razkul rihpt-rored n snortd
n bah da tyme he wuz dun
lo n bhole he had
uh thurd uh dem aingulz wif him !

dey wuz sum reel dum bunnez 2
cuz dey lissend 2 hiz trash…
stoopid iz az stoopid duz…

well da Lawd finulee
dun had nuff
o ol Loosafurz shee-nanny-gunz
so He sehnt Michael
n da rest o Hiz aingulz
dat wuz faythfull 2 Him
2 giv Loosafur n hiz retahrdz
da bihg boot
wich Michael promplee did !!

dey frowed ahl
o dem weezulz ouht
wif uh vinginz
ol Michael n da rest
uh Godz goohd aingulz
shur dint pur-she-ate
wut ol Loosafur dun
no-sur-ree
not wun teeny-tiny bit
soz wen Michael goht
da wurd frum da Lawd
mayn !!!
Dey Wuz Ohn Em !!!

now u problee b wundrin
y ah dun tuhk uhp
sooo much o yer preshus tyme
wif dis dont u Shmoni ?

well holed yer horsez
ahm gunna tehl u

n aftur ah dun red
wut u dun dun
2 dem po chillunz n yung gurlz
bubbah …ah caint b yer frend no mo !

Phahrrrt detector


2 b cuhntenyood
soz Shmoni
u needz 2 stae toond

[phahrrrt_detector]

Payj 2

now les c…
whar wuz ah …?
o yeah ! heh-heh
ah bmemburz …
az ifn ah cuhld fergit !!!



Shmoni
u b jez lahk
dat ol skalawahg Loosafur
now communly knowd az
u gessd iht !
ol slewfut… da devil … n satan

da Lawd gave u
uh task 2 fullfill Shmoni

yep u wuz spozd
2 leed n gide
n tahk reel goohd kere
o da Lawdz flock
lambz n ahl
dat He put n yer kere

He trustd u Shmoni
jez lahk he trustd ol Loosafur
wit Hiz aingulz

buht u dun jez wut Loosafur dun
ahl cuz u wuntd 2 b
lahk God 2 Hiz peepul
(buht u aint God
n u aint nevr evr gunna b God !)
soz u tuhrnd evy thin uhp sid down
n mahd uh bihg mess o thingz
n u trashd Godz peepul
n u trashd evr thin God giv em 2
tryin 2 tahk
ahl da goohd stuff fer ursef …
u SELFISH WEEZUL u …!

den jez lahk satan tuhk
uh bunch o wut ust 2 b
da Lawdz aingelz
2 du hiz durtee wurk
n now dey aint aingulz no mo…
so u dun tuhk
uh bunch o wut uset 2 b
da Lawdz saintz
2 du yer durtee wurk
now dey aint saintz no mo…


da han-rytin b ohn da wall Shmoni
Phahrrrt detector


den der wuz da trib o Dan…

[dyann]

Hey Phart... It takes way too much time and effort to try to decipher what you are trying to say.
I give up before I can start.
And I'm sure it's pretty important stuff that should be read, could you please translate sometimes?
thanx,
dj

[brother_d]

I think the short version reads "Tony Alamo is a lying cowardly punk who uses people and then kicks them to the curb. His day is coming soon." Close enough anyway.

[wilma]

phahrrrt_detector
I LOVE your posts. They are full of truth and humor. I enjoy them much more when they are shorter though...easier on my brain ;-) When they are shorter I read them in all their glorious sarcastic fullness.
SG

[d_eddy]

Phahrrrt detector
you have a gift telling it how it is cut and dry
and just the funniest stuff the way you post.
keep it up.

[worm_can_opener]

Phahrrrt D tech tur,
R U styl ugh-lyv ?? nev-R sea N-E thing frum U N-E mor. pleeese dew not fer-seike ughs, yore werds R reel-E mist !! (bew-who)
Worm

[jackrussell]

We luv ya Wco, but please let phahrrrt do it!

Or else I'll start espeaking in espanish, porque esta muy importante toda la gente espeak in other lenguas, so as not to get tower of babeled again in a unilanguage and stay just enough confused and humbled to not go off the deep end up like Tony Alamo and think you are the great 'I am.' Am surprised that Alamo just does not entitle himself thus. Tell them 'I am ' sent you, said so, do this, etc., etc. I guess in a manner of characterization he does just that. He really must not believe or realize that Lucifer already got booted for like usurption. Tony will just have to see for himself, a consummation of THAT marriage.

[worm_can_opener]

LOL, Jack
No, I have lots of patience, but not enough to copy the style of P.D. !! just wanted to invite him back, and let him know that he's missed. I just love his sarcasm, when addressing the preaching pedophile with his sinful life-style

[mixter1]

Hmmm,
Zeh Pharrt_detectair With a french accent?
That freek Alamosity gets his slammen lessons
from Ze Church of Scientology.
When TA takes his 'Dirt Nap' and Buster is in jail, and those people don't know what to do, do you think anyone can respect them?