Anonymous (208.15.26.21)
03-14-2004, 02:40 AM
Hello,
I am a lay-minister (I have a ministry website and provide Sunday Services to a ladies retirement home...I also have a teaching and writing ministry and am preparing to submit to publishers in the near future) and have had much ministry experience as a former executive assistant to a pastor that has returned to school to further her education.
When our church closed for our pastor to get the schooling she desired, my husband and I were without a church for about a year.
I thought my husband was a strong Christian when I married him, however I discovered that it is simply a ploy of his to work situations in his life. The appeal to him was that certain churches would lean to a cult level doctrine of male domination and control of their spouse. The church we married in was operated by a pastor who would confront a man who did not treat their spouse with equality of respect and personhood. My husband began drinking and abusing myself and the children in the year we were not churched. He is still mentally abusing me and the children. We are at the point of separating if I cannot get appropriate help for him in the next few months. My current pastor has stated that he has done enough that I can leave him and still be faithful to biblical doctrine because he has commited adultery and other offenses.
We began attending a new church started by a man we knew at the church my husband and I married in. I went to them first and walked into their service with fresh bruises on my body. Because this man had the same education and experience we had, I assumed that he would follow Christian doctrine and treat the situation with the mindset that the violator is confronted and the victims protected.
We had 3 counseling sessions with them and at the end of the last session both husband and wife stated that I was a liar and they supported my husband in all actions he took. My husband justified his behavior because I had a relapse of Severe Environmental Illness from stopping immunotherapy and I was not able obey his every command.
I left their cult with my children at that point because we were not safe there. We are in a church that is operated by the former dean of students for a Christian college (retired) and teaches sound doctrine. At this point we have accountibility for my safety and the safety of the children because this church is in the same small town we live in and our former friends are in prayer with me and know the problems. If something were to happen to me my husband and his cult are aware that they will be the first ones investigated. At this time we are in the same home however my husband is rarely home.
We went to a Christian Psychologist for 2.5 years for marriage counseling. We spent that whole time trying to convince my husband the truth of his situation. He spent the whole time in denial. He was told that he needs to choose the cult or his family and he cannot have both. He refuses to leave them and chastises me for turning the children away from him and failure to observe the doctrine of the bible to do exactly what he says.
1) My husband's tithe alone will run their whole operation. I had no money except what he earned and no access to money. Their cult was a month away from closing their doors. They saw a way to keep their cult in operation if they kept my husband happy and knowing him played on all of his weaknesses and told him whatever tickled his ears to make sure he stayed. They went to the point of stating they would testify in court that I abused the children so that he feels total security and support there.
2) Their doctrine is appealing to my husband because he is an abuser and they give him god-like authority to take all action necessary to acheive his demands. He refuses to acknowledge he is an abuser and they indicate to him that he did what was necessary and he should not feel guilty and even though they saw the bruises tell him that they believe he never touched me.
3) My husband owns 11 vehicles. We have a family of 6 and we are in a home the size of a 3 car garage, part of which is a 1971 mobile home that is not suitable to use for a hunting cabin. My husband makes over 90,000 a year and we have lived this way for 19 years. He states I do not deserve a new home to be built because my health problems make it hard for me to clean and he will not build an adequate home until I can keep it perfectly. He was not like this when we married.
4) My husband is told that I am unstable and mentally diseased because the bible states he has the authority to control me in the way that he has and I am not a Christian because I do not submit with joy to his abuse.
5) My husband is under the care of a physician and they are determining at this point if he is mentally diseased, having a midlife crisis, or mentally damaged by the cult, or all of the above. He is not aware that his physician is aware of his mental problems or he would leave their practice.
6) I have returned to the church we married in and found out that he left there under poor circumstances and no one was sad to see him leave. He was under investigation from child abuse because his daughter was anorexic and his family physician reported him (the same physician that is my doctor - he is aware of who my doctor is, therefore he had another reason to come against me as he fears I might state that I know she diets excessively and vomits to confirm her disease and start a new investigation). She is over 6 ft tall and weighed less than 120 lbs.
7) They spent a great deal of time trying to convince me that their doctrine was the path to life and happiness when in reality it was a license for my husband to beat me. They spent hours telling me that he has every right to demand that I do exactly what he says even if it is contrary to my physicians advice and will cause me to be hospitalized. I have heart damage from medications used to revive me from previous problems. I stated what happens when I do this and go to the hospital as I have in the past when I do these things and damage my body more? Answer...I must do what he says and if it takes years for him to determine he was wrong or I die at least I died honoring God and will go to heaven.
8) Each time I questioned their doctrine they encouraged my husband to side with them and told me I was mentally disturbed. Since I left their cult they have told all the members that I am mentally disturbed because I was confronted by a current member who told me I was a mental case.
9) Each member is enocuraged to take on the group mentality. Anyone who has a strong Christian faith and knowledge of the true doctrine of the bible that is not sharing the mindset of the leaders is shunned and subtle warnings of the dangers of listening to that person are spread among the ones who are pure to the group.
10) They used knowledge of the ministries my husband supported and techniques such as: to participate in our ministry you must reach a certain level and display certain characteristics to become eligible to partake.
I will provide more information about this group at your request. I know that you must get these reports frequently and are unable to investigate every small group that is brought to your attention. This group is small now, but they have made some affiliations with larger groups who are unaware of their doctrine.
The pastor that I was the administrative assistant for has attended several services and states that they are really messed up in their minds there.
I am a lay-minister (I have a ministry website and provide Sunday Services to a ladies retirement home...I also have a teaching and writing ministry and am preparing to submit to publishers in the near future) and have had much ministry experience as a former executive assistant to a pastor that has returned to school to further her education.
When our church closed for our pastor to get the schooling she desired, my husband and I were without a church for about a year.
I thought my husband was a strong Christian when I married him, however I discovered that it is simply a ploy of his to work situations in his life. The appeal to him was that certain churches would lean to a cult level doctrine of male domination and control of their spouse. The church we married in was operated by a pastor who would confront a man who did not treat their spouse with equality of respect and personhood. My husband began drinking and abusing myself and the children in the year we were not churched. He is still mentally abusing me and the children. We are at the point of separating if I cannot get appropriate help for him in the next few months. My current pastor has stated that he has done enough that I can leave him and still be faithful to biblical doctrine because he has commited adultery and other offenses.
We began attending a new church started by a man we knew at the church my husband and I married in. I went to them first and walked into their service with fresh bruises on my body. Because this man had the same education and experience we had, I assumed that he would follow Christian doctrine and treat the situation with the mindset that the violator is confronted and the victims protected.
We had 3 counseling sessions with them and at the end of the last session both husband and wife stated that I was a liar and they supported my husband in all actions he took. My husband justified his behavior because I had a relapse of Severe Environmental Illness from stopping immunotherapy and I was not able obey his every command.
I left their cult with my children at that point because we were not safe there. We are in a church that is operated by the former dean of students for a Christian college (retired) and teaches sound doctrine. At this point we have accountibility for my safety and the safety of the children because this church is in the same small town we live in and our former friends are in prayer with me and know the problems. If something were to happen to me my husband and his cult are aware that they will be the first ones investigated. At this time we are in the same home however my husband is rarely home.
We went to a Christian Psychologist for 2.5 years for marriage counseling. We spent that whole time trying to convince my husband the truth of his situation. He spent the whole time in denial. He was told that he needs to choose the cult or his family and he cannot have both. He refuses to leave them and chastises me for turning the children away from him and failure to observe the doctrine of the bible to do exactly what he says.
1) My husband's tithe alone will run their whole operation. I had no money except what he earned and no access to money. Their cult was a month away from closing their doors. They saw a way to keep their cult in operation if they kept my husband happy and knowing him played on all of his weaknesses and told him whatever tickled his ears to make sure he stayed. They went to the point of stating they would testify in court that I abused the children so that he feels total security and support there.
2) Their doctrine is appealing to my husband because he is an abuser and they give him god-like authority to take all action necessary to acheive his demands. He refuses to acknowledge he is an abuser and they indicate to him that he did what was necessary and he should not feel guilty and even though they saw the bruises tell him that they believe he never touched me.
3) My husband owns 11 vehicles. We have a family of 6 and we are in a home the size of a 3 car garage, part of which is a 1971 mobile home that is not suitable to use for a hunting cabin. My husband makes over 90,000 a year and we have lived this way for 19 years. He states I do not deserve a new home to be built because my health problems make it hard for me to clean and he will not build an adequate home until I can keep it perfectly. He was not like this when we married.
4) My husband is told that I am unstable and mentally diseased because the bible states he has the authority to control me in the way that he has and I am not a Christian because I do not submit with joy to his abuse.
5) My husband is under the care of a physician and they are determining at this point if he is mentally diseased, having a midlife crisis, or mentally damaged by the cult, or all of the above. He is not aware that his physician is aware of his mental problems or he would leave their practice.
6) I have returned to the church we married in and found out that he left there under poor circumstances and no one was sad to see him leave. He was under investigation from child abuse because his daughter was anorexic and his family physician reported him (the same physician that is my doctor - he is aware of who my doctor is, therefore he had another reason to come against me as he fears I might state that I know she diets excessively and vomits to confirm her disease and start a new investigation). She is over 6 ft tall and weighed less than 120 lbs.
7) They spent a great deal of time trying to convince me that their doctrine was the path to life and happiness when in reality it was a license for my husband to beat me. They spent hours telling me that he has every right to demand that I do exactly what he says even if it is contrary to my physicians advice and will cause me to be hospitalized. I have heart damage from medications used to revive me from previous problems. I stated what happens when I do this and go to the hospital as I have in the past when I do these things and damage my body more? Answer...I must do what he says and if it takes years for him to determine he was wrong or I die at least I died honoring God and will go to heaven.
8) Each time I questioned their doctrine they encouraged my husband to side with them and told me I was mentally disturbed. Since I left their cult they have told all the members that I am mentally disturbed because I was confronted by a current member who told me I was a mental case.
9) Each member is enocuraged to take on the group mentality. Anyone who has a strong Christian faith and knowledge of the true doctrine of the bible that is not sharing the mindset of the leaders is shunned and subtle warnings of the dangers of listening to that person are spread among the ones who are pure to the group.
10) They used knowledge of the ministries my husband supported and techniques such as: to participate in our ministry you must reach a certain level and display certain characteristics to become eligible to partake.
I will provide more information about this group at your request. I know that you must get these reports frequently and are unable to investigate every small group that is brought to your attention. This group is small now, but they have made some affiliations with larger groups who are unaware of their doctrine.
The pastor that I was the administrative assistant for has attended several services and states that they are really messed up in their minds there.