movinon (movinon)
10-15-2005, 04:40 PM
When someone is a part of a place like CC, it not only becomes part of your life, it invades every aspect of who you are, what you want, and where you are going. It literally becomes the superstructure and the infrastructure of your life.
I realize that there are many groups like CC in this world. When our world imploded, then exploded, we thought our experience was unique and that no one had ever seen such happenings before! We soon found out that this wasn't true, and that the words of Solomon were still very wise and accurate, if not fatalistic, that there really was nothing new under the sun!
Over these last 20ish years since my departure from CC, it has been a very up and down bumpy sort of ride. I attempted time and time again to make things work within a system of beliefs and practices that kept hindering the very goal I was attempting to attain. Therefore, I began to look at the beliefs and practices with a much more critical eye. The farther I get away from the insanity that was CC, and that is still much of the charismatic world, the more sane and normal I,myself, feel, think, and act.
When I look at the many people who still attempt to defend and justify CC and its beliefs and practices, I see, much to my dismay and deep concern, a phoenix of the old ways rising from the ashes. It frightens and concerns me more than words can say. I see how easy it is for human beings to fall right back into a mode of thinking that was anything but honestly Biblical, in my estimation from my current perspective. I see a monster coming up again, masquerading as love and truth. How long will it take before people realize that this monster is really devouring them?
I realize at this point in my life that nothing I say will even make a remote dent in anyone's thinking about this thing, if they are of the mind to continue to believe in it, defend it, justify it, and support. It has been a hard lesson for me to learn, but letting it go and moving on with my life and growth is the only answer for me. Letting go of people and things that have been such a part of my life (positively in some cases and negatively in others) has caused me pain and emotional upset, but it is the only way for me to regroup and recoup my life and spiritual existance.
It still isn't easy to be misjudged and misunderstood by those I have left behind, but I have come to the conclusion that if this is one cost of my freedom, then it is a cost I'm now willing to pay. In many respects, my life is really just starting and I'm loving what I'm finding as I'm allowing myself to move away more and more from the things that once held me in their all-encompassing grip.
mo
I realize that there are many groups like CC in this world. When our world imploded, then exploded, we thought our experience was unique and that no one had ever seen such happenings before! We soon found out that this wasn't true, and that the words of Solomon were still very wise and accurate, if not fatalistic, that there really was nothing new under the sun!
Over these last 20ish years since my departure from CC, it has been a very up and down bumpy sort of ride. I attempted time and time again to make things work within a system of beliefs and practices that kept hindering the very goal I was attempting to attain. Therefore, I began to look at the beliefs and practices with a much more critical eye. The farther I get away from the insanity that was CC, and that is still much of the charismatic world, the more sane and normal I,myself, feel, think, and act.
When I look at the many people who still attempt to defend and justify CC and its beliefs and practices, I see, much to my dismay and deep concern, a phoenix of the old ways rising from the ashes. It frightens and concerns me more than words can say. I see how easy it is for human beings to fall right back into a mode of thinking that was anything but honestly Biblical, in my estimation from my current perspective. I see a monster coming up again, masquerading as love and truth. How long will it take before people realize that this monster is really devouring them?
I realize at this point in my life that nothing I say will even make a remote dent in anyone's thinking about this thing, if they are of the mind to continue to believe in it, defend it, justify it, and support. It has been a hard lesson for me to learn, but letting it go and moving on with my life and growth is the only answer for me. Letting go of people and things that have been such a part of my life (positively in some cases and negatively in others) has caused me pain and emotional upset, but it is the only way for me to regroup and recoup my life and spiritual existance.
It still isn't easy to be misjudged and misunderstood by those I have left behind, but I have come to the conclusion that if this is one cost of my freedom, then it is a cost I'm now willing to pay. In many respects, my life is really just starting and I'm loving what I'm finding as I'm allowing myself to move away more and more from the things that once held me in their all-encompassing grip.
mo