onesimus_jones (onesimus_jones)
09-18-2005, 09:42 PM
I need to vent some. Thanks in advance for the liberty to do so.
I have been battling depression and bitterness lately. The cumulative effect of several different events have come to a head.
My son is 26. He and I were close when he was young, especially during the time when I was a single parent. He has messed himself up with drugs and is now involved in religous fanaticism. Though he lives near me, I never hear from him unless he needs money or to be bailed out of jail. Actually, I don't hear from him at all, because I won't give him money or bail him out of jail.
I often see him in town. He is disrespectful and insolent.
I worry about him committing suicide.
One day I heard on the radio that a man had jumped to his death from a local bridge.
I feared that it was my son.
Then the police called my employer asking for family info about one of my co-workers. He was the one who jumped. It was awful news, and yet a relief in a sense.
The man who jumped was a friend of mine. He had recently converted to Christianity and been baptized.
But he had been a meth addict for several years, and couldn't deal with issues related to that problem.
A friend of my daughter's killed herself ten days earlier. She had been in our home a couple of times. We knew she had serious problems, but I had seen her recently and she seemed uncharacteristically outgoing, giving me a friendly jab.
She shot herself over being abandoned by her husband.
I wanted to vent about all this on the CCG, to which I mistakenly thought I'd been reinstated.
Instead,the moderator started railing on me, bringing up the personal feud over which I had been banned, and then blaming me for it.
He refused to deal with it privately, either by phone or by e-mail.
Then he came on this forum to rail some more.
He also expressed eagerness to see a resumption of the personal feud - to which he claimed to have such abhorrence on CCG.
Now that Steve Born and yours truly are gone CCG is a sanctuary of healing.
Pay no attention to all the biting and devouring. Behind the curtain, lurkers at CCG are being healed en masse.
I have been battling depression and bitterness lately. The cumulative effect of several different events have come to a head.
My son is 26. He and I were close when he was young, especially during the time when I was a single parent. He has messed himself up with drugs and is now involved in religous fanaticism. Though he lives near me, I never hear from him unless he needs money or to be bailed out of jail. Actually, I don't hear from him at all, because I won't give him money or bail him out of jail.
I often see him in town. He is disrespectful and insolent.
I worry about him committing suicide.
One day I heard on the radio that a man had jumped to his death from a local bridge.
I feared that it was my son.
Then the police called my employer asking for family info about one of my co-workers. He was the one who jumped. It was awful news, and yet a relief in a sense.
The man who jumped was a friend of mine. He had recently converted to Christianity and been baptized.
But he had been a meth addict for several years, and couldn't deal with issues related to that problem.
A friend of my daughter's killed herself ten days earlier. She had been in our home a couple of times. We knew she had serious problems, but I had seen her recently and she seemed uncharacteristically outgoing, giving me a friendly jab.
She shot herself over being abandoned by her husband.
I wanted to vent about all this on the CCG, to which I mistakenly thought I'd been reinstated.
Instead,the moderator started railing on me, bringing up the personal feud over which I had been banned, and then blaming me for it.
He refused to deal with it privately, either by phone or by e-mail.
Then he came on this forum to rail some more.
He also expressed eagerness to see a resumption of the personal feud - to which he claimed to have such abhorrence on CCG.
Now that Steve Born and yours truly are gone CCG is a sanctuary of healing.
Pay no attention to all the biting and devouring. Behind the curtain, lurkers at CCG are being healed en masse.