roz (roz)
10-26-2005, 02:56 PM
I'm gonna speak off the top of my head here. I haven't spent any time formulating my thoughts, but want to attempt to throw them out there anyway.
Movinon said something to me last week that it sounded like I was doing good these days. I appreciate that comment, and am glad to give that impression. Life was difficult during the downfall of our church. Many people crashed and burned, and to this day, some have never truly recovered. I was young, impressionable, and had placed every bit of energy and zeal I had into my life inside CCBTC.
It wasn't easy putting my life back together after the church split. It took me one year to figure out which direction (literally and figuratively) I wanted to go. In a sense, I put everything, and I mean everything, on hold for 12 months. Looking back, that was a tremendously critical time for me. I didn't make any major decisions about church, ministry, my walk with God, etc. What a blessing it was to be able to sit back for a year like that.
Today, I still walk with Jesus, but it's different. My family walks with God, too, but church is not the end-all-be-all. In fact, we are trying to decide if the children's ministry on Wednesday nights is worthwhile to us. We are considering dropping it from our schedule since it's one more night to be running around.
In the Chapel days, this would have been heresy. I have to admit, I still feel a little guilty about cutting a church function from our schedule. This guilt is residual from the Chapel days. I wonder if I'll ever get over that.
I think one thing that helped me was I didn't fear being thrust out of church and back into the cruel world. It's cruel all right, but it is not something to be feared. Once you've tasted of the goodness of God in your life, what the world has to offer will pale in light of it.
However, in pretty short order, I had a TV back in my house with all the cable channels. I felt free to consume alcohol. I took secular college courses and opened my mind a little more. I did things I'm not proud of, but I didn't let them destroy me.
Today, I've found a church where I can be happy. Our family tries to live by Godly principles. We are involved in scouting and school programs that provide many service opportunities for kids. We are involved in ministries at church and share Jesus whenever we can. So, sometimes we do service under the church umbrella, and sometimes it's simply a community umbrella. (One thing the Chapel lacked was community service. It's so important to give of your time, talents, and finances to the less fortunate.)
We don't have alcohol in the house anymore and we only have the limited cable channels. I found I really didn't like alcohol and I didn't enjoy the "buzz" it gave me. I hated the feeling I got when I felt like I wasted a whole evening to mindless TV. So, I gave these things up not because a church told me I had to, but rather because it was a right decision for me.
This is key for me and I think it's one of the most important things I've learned along the way. It's amazing how liberating it is to do things simply because they are the right thing to do, and not because your pastor or church dictated you had to do them.
Now I can belong to a church without feeling threatened by rules and such. I make my own rules, but not in a defiant way, or in a way that would make you blush. Our rules are based on simply doing the right thing. If we accomplish avoiding the appearance of evil, and/or removing all stumbling blocks, all the better!
I think that's the heart of God for us. He doesn't give us rules to burden us, but rather to liberate us. There is nothing more satisfying that having positive and edifying results from good, solid decisions. I'm thankful the Bible is full of direction, heart, and love regarding such things.
I just love that I'm involved in church, yet am able to keep a healthy perspective about its place in my life. I just wanted to share, to be an encouragement, and I hope this strikes a chord with those reading.
Roz
Movinon said something to me last week that it sounded like I was doing good these days. I appreciate that comment, and am glad to give that impression. Life was difficult during the downfall of our church. Many people crashed and burned, and to this day, some have never truly recovered. I was young, impressionable, and had placed every bit of energy and zeal I had into my life inside CCBTC.
It wasn't easy putting my life back together after the church split. It took me one year to figure out which direction (literally and figuratively) I wanted to go. In a sense, I put everything, and I mean everything, on hold for 12 months. Looking back, that was a tremendously critical time for me. I didn't make any major decisions about church, ministry, my walk with God, etc. What a blessing it was to be able to sit back for a year like that.
Today, I still walk with Jesus, but it's different. My family walks with God, too, but church is not the end-all-be-all. In fact, we are trying to decide if the children's ministry on Wednesday nights is worthwhile to us. We are considering dropping it from our schedule since it's one more night to be running around.
In the Chapel days, this would have been heresy. I have to admit, I still feel a little guilty about cutting a church function from our schedule. This guilt is residual from the Chapel days. I wonder if I'll ever get over that.
I think one thing that helped me was I didn't fear being thrust out of church and back into the cruel world. It's cruel all right, but it is not something to be feared. Once you've tasted of the goodness of God in your life, what the world has to offer will pale in light of it.
However, in pretty short order, I had a TV back in my house with all the cable channels. I felt free to consume alcohol. I took secular college courses and opened my mind a little more. I did things I'm not proud of, but I didn't let them destroy me.
Today, I've found a church where I can be happy. Our family tries to live by Godly principles. We are involved in scouting and school programs that provide many service opportunities for kids. We are involved in ministries at church and share Jesus whenever we can. So, sometimes we do service under the church umbrella, and sometimes it's simply a community umbrella. (One thing the Chapel lacked was community service. It's so important to give of your time, talents, and finances to the less fortunate.)
We don't have alcohol in the house anymore and we only have the limited cable channels. I found I really didn't like alcohol and I didn't enjoy the "buzz" it gave me. I hated the feeling I got when I felt like I wasted a whole evening to mindless TV. So, I gave these things up not because a church told me I had to, but rather because it was a right decision for me.
This is key for me and I think it's one of the most important things I've learned along the way. It's amazing how liberating it is to do things simply because they are the right thing to do, and not because your pastor or church dictated you had to do them.
Now I can belong to a church without feeling threatened by rules and such. I make my own rules, but not in a defiant way, or in a way that would make you blush. Our rules are based on simply doing the right thing. If we accomplish avoiding the appearance of evil, and/or removing all stumbling blocks, all the better!
I think that's the heart of God for us. He doesn't give us rules to burden us, but rather to liberate us. There is nothing more satisfying that having positive and edifying results from good, solid decisions. I'm thankful the Bible is full of direction, heart, and love regarding such things.
I just love that I'm involved in church, yet am able to keep a healthy perspective about its place in my life. I just wanted to share, to be an encouragement, and I hope this strikes a chord with those reading.
Roz