Loser for Christ

[dawson_lewis (dawson_lewis)]

I got a chance to share the message at Church today. The title of my message was “Are you a Loser for Jesus?”

My thesis was that we need to embrace our inner loser, to get in touch with our loserness. The reason is that as I realize what a loser I am, the more I can appreciate how much God loves me. Even more, when I realize that God loves as I am, not because I’m perfect, the more free I am to love Him in turn.

I used Galatians 3: 2-3 “This is the only thing I want to find out from you: did you receive the Spirit by the works of the Law, or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?”

In my life I did just like the Galatians. I was saved by faith. INSPITE of myself God loved me. But then I started thinking that I had to make myself perfect. This was exacerbated by the culture in Maranatha (Washington DC 1982-1989, Gainesville 1989). The problem was not our high standards, it was how we treated failure. (Note that the following problems are common in many churches.)

When I failed it wasn’t that I blew it but we love you. It was “how could you do that?” “You are a bad person.” It was never said that bluntly, but it was strongly implied. Here are some examples:

I was church administrator in DC from 1985 to 1989. One time I had to pick up Bob Weiner to bring him to our church service. He looked around my car and started ragging on me about it didn’t show excellence. Yes, the car needed a wash and probably a vacuum job. But instead of building me up and showing how to be better, he left me feeling small. The next day I had to drive him from DC to Annapolis. I missed the turn for the main highway. I was so scared that I took a side road half the way rather than admit I had made a mistake.

On a more serious note, as Church administrator I didn’t do well managing the checkbook. It didn’t help that week after week I would announce that the offering was short but decisions were made to keep spending. After I left DC to move to Gainesville in 1989 some real accountants started working the books and it was found that $1,000’s of building fund money had been spent for general needs. I was called on this and told it was very serious, that people even went to jail for stuff like this. No acknowledgement that for over 3 years I said every week, “the offering wasn’t enough to cover our costs. No, it was all my fault. (As a side note, my wife and I “gave” the church $12,000 to help cover the shortfall. I said it was to show our good faith, but in my mind part of me was saying "in your face" to the Pastors in DC.)

You can see the pattern. If I failed to make the grade it wasn’t that I was immature or needed help. It was that I was bad person.

Worst of all, I started to think that God was like the leaders I dealt with. If I mess up He isn’t going to love me and build me up. He’s going to “rip me a new one” and straighten me out.

This reinforced my natural tendencies to hide my sin. To not admit I was less than perfect. I couldn’t admit I had problems because that would mean that God could not love me. In turn this made me arrogant. People leave the church, well they were not committed. People are critical of Maranatha, they’re demonic. We were God’s green berets. The mighty ones, the Champions for Christ.

It has only been in the last year or two that I have started to realize that God loves me warts, flaws and all. He is not surprised when I sin. Jesus didn’t die just for the sins I committed before I was saved but also for the sins I committed after I was saved. His response to me when I blow it is not to “rip me a new one” but to heal my self-inflicted wounds.

The more I embrace my inner loser, the more free I am to run to Him. Before, if I missed a turn, I would fake it on the side roads. Now when I miss a turn I run back to Him and say “I’m sorry. I missed the turn, can I try again.” And the great thing is that He says “Yes, you did miss. And yes I’ll let you try again.”

So, my pitiful advice to those who have struggling with Post Maranatha Syndrome (PMS) is to embrace you inner loser. Realize that His love is unconditional. When you crash and burn He wants to restore you. There might be consequences that you will have to deal with, but He’ll lead you through those in love. As you agree with His word that you are loser, you can also agree with His word that you are a “chosen person”, beloved of the Lord, worth having Jesus die for.

If you’ve had pastors tell you that you were a loser, agree with them. “Say yes, I am a loser. That’s why Jesus died to save me from my loser self. And He loves me just as I am.” He doesn’t say, “Make yourself perfect then I’ll love you.” He says, “I love you and I will work on perfecting you.”

Losers of the world, admit it!

You have nothing to lose but your chains of fear!

Post Script:
I want to thank Larry Warren who was the Pastor of Maranatha Gainesville. I arrived in Gainesville April 1 of 1989, sent down to help on MLTS and to “get ministry”. I arranged a lunch with him my first week, figuring that he would lay down the law to get me straight. Instead he gave me grace and peace and love.

I also want to thank Bill Bennot and Jimmy Walker of the Johannesburg church. Both of them were ministers of grace to me.

Finally, a word about the Pastoral team in DC. As I have embraced my inner loser I realize that they were losers just like me. They had inner struggles and tremendous pressure from above to be super leaders. They didn’t have permission to fail so they couldn’t grant that permission to any one else.

So to them I offer my apologies for helping to feed the beast.

And I offer my forgiveness to you.

Also, I offer my forgiveness to Bob Weiner. You had your issues just like I did. However, unlike me you had to deal with your issues on stage in the public eye.

One last thing, on the off chance they see this, to those I offended and abused, like Sam, Karen and Eddie I apologize. I knew in my spirit that it was wrong, but still I followed along with the shunning and abuse. I am deeply sorry.

Dawson Lewis

(Message edited by Dawson_Lewis on October 02, 2005)

[upcase20 (upcase20)]

Wow! I was a member of that church. I suspected as much. That's why I left. If only the others had your character and would admit their error. But they have not. They just keep changing their name and continue on with no regrets, no remorse. You can look at the MSI/EN website and see that nothing has really changed, even after all this time.

[bill_mack (bill_mack)]

If only their were more leaders who wouldn't just shuffle the illegal and horendously demonic activity under the rug and have the holy boldness to come out and define and admit their sins. Bob and Rose Weiner and the other tyrants with "Little Napoleon Syndrome" infuse such a state of fear and guilt in their underlings that they no choice but to robotically "carry out orders" in the same form and fashion.

What's worse, the discipleship/shepherding renamed "accountability" structure breeds a chain reaction whereby everybody "has something" on everybody else so as to allow perpetual sin.

A pastor, deacon, elder either accepts false doctrines, commits adultery/fornication, or doesn't expose sin wherever they see it -- the "apostles and prophets" tell them, "Well, that's the way it is and you'd better shut up about it!!!!" The leader internally and spiritually dies and becomes filled with the demon spirits that fill up the "apostles and prophets" all the way to the top.

BUT WHERE'S GOD IN ALL THIS?

Of course, this is all a repeat scenario for the Lord God Almighty who sees it all continually. He witnessed the same behavior with the Egyptian Pharoahs, the Nazis and the SS, African murderer Idi Amin, Cambodian murderer Pol Pot, the Freemason/Cabalists in Washington, D.C. Even in the ranks of the GLBT queers that syncretized their homosexual abominations with the political metaphors of "Freedom", "Liberty", "Racial Bigotry" (as if queers are a race)etc.

Nothing in *NEW* here and all bets are that there will be no true lasting repentance from these false leaders with their false foundation of false "apostles and prophets." There will only be time for another group of people to escape only to be countered with the false leaders trying some new scheme like Promise Keepers, Alpha, Purpose Driven Church, Emergent Church or some other gnostic fad wave to sweep more people looking for the real Christ into eternal damnation.

THE GAMES GET SLICKER

Sure their will be those leaders who will finally "smell the coffee" and get out, but it will be the rare bird who will not leave until they publicly define and expose the errors they witnessed so as to provide a *NEON SIGN* screaming *DO NOT ENTER AND HERE'S WHY* to others heading into the New Order of the Latter Rain spider's web.

Today in church we had a gust speaker come in and give a general rundown of today's church apostasy. He's been a speaker for over 25 years and talked about the apostasy and apostates like Weiner's Maranatha, Brownsville, Toronto (yes Tom May, you are a heretic and Rick Joyner's "Tabernacle of David" Prophetic conferences are satanic to the core), etc.

He's gets kicked out and shunned even after people watching his presentation see the firsthand evidence on his PowerPoint Presentation. The UNHOLY ALLIANCE that Weiner's Maranatha has always been a part of (even pre-Maranatha days) will never stand before a Holy and Righteous God.

The Lord has seen all of this countless times before throughout history and He desires that man learn from history or he surely will be doomed to repeat it. Freemasonry variants such as Maranatha and the New Order of the Latter Rain will always fail no matter how many benevolent Hurricane Katrina Outreaches attempt to mask the internal alchemystical heresies. What amazes me is the leaders' denial of God by their actions that scream, "God doesn't really see what we're doing." and the fear tactics, threats and intimidation to silence those mortals who do see!

Where is the fear of God in that!

Yes, Tom May, you are a two-bit heretic and you are dragging you, you're wife Jan, your family, and all those in your midst into a vortex straight to HELLFIRE! Have a nice day. Too bad you and Al Holt covenanted with Bruce Harpel who covenanted with Don Pfotenhauer who covenanted with Rome. Hope you're not stupid enough to use that as an excuse on judgment day when you go before God Almighty for your crimes, but I wouldn't put anything past NOLR apostates after covering up homos like Maranatha Latter Rain "prophet" Paul Cain, NOLR TBN television homo Paul Crouch, sexual molester and NOLR "prophet" Bob Jones, homo Roberts Liardon, etc. WOW, are you in trouble with God!!! And your a pathalogical liar like Harpel as well!

Blessings to all who demonstrate their love for the truth per II Thess 2:9-11 even to the point of death.

-Bill

[john_r_jones (john_r_jones)]

Dawson,
thanks for your post it is an encouragement to all us PMSers out here. Brennan Manning quoted someone in his book "The Signature of Jesus"-"If you aint who you is, then who you is is who you isn't".

John

[actually (actually)]

Hi Dawson
Yes, thanks so much for that post, it is a great encouragement and such an important message for all Christians to hear (those who were part of Maranatha and those who were not). Romans 5:6-8 has long been one of my favourite passages and your post reminded me of it: "For while we were still helpless, at the appointed moment, Christ died for the ungodly. For rarely will someone die for a just person--though for a good person perhaps someone might even dare to die. But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us!" God loved us even when we were in rebellion and far from Him (purposely, for many of us) so why would we think He loves us any less now that we are actively seeking Him? Thanks again, great post.

[speakword2004 (speakword2004)]

We are more than conquerers. Humility, poverty, repentence are all Christian disciplines and functions that place us squarely in the realm of having true dignity and mission. I think many people here have already embraced the fact that they are to blame for silence, for anger, for rebellion, for bitterness and whatever else in whatever measure.

I don't see that being a continuous feature, though. I see healing and repentence, resolve and character. I see people standing up for justice, truth and honour.

The tendency to hide sin is born out of not only a person pleasing attitude and fear, but also because in some environs admitting any real weakness or sin is akin to cutting oneself with a hunting knife in a shark tank.

It should not be so. Admitting one's own complicity, weakness and errors is vital within our Christian walk. As to allowing one's brothers in Christ to see you as a loser and weak is not commendable. It's stupid. If they call you a loser then rebuke them! Chastise them. Yes, forgive and understand, but don't take up the idea that we must bend to abuse and anger and perversion. True brothers and sisters don't allow other brothers and sisters to believe a lie.

Repentence is constructive and does not mean we must beat ourselves up. Christ took those beatings for us. Yes, a crisis of conscience or a period of mourning leadingto repentence is required.

One of the murderer kids at Columbine wore a T-shirt that headlined "natural selection" a converse and ironic statement of faith. He was called a loser and let it get to him. Don't let it get in anywhere. Us it as means to examine yourself by aqll means but don't appropriate the labels and descriptions of the Empire.

We are called to be overcomers by the blood of the Lamb, the word of our testimony and not loving our loves above death for Christ. As believers our testimony should include more than blind grovelling and a passive resistance to wrong.

Yes, people may feel themselves to be losers from lost years, bad decisions and stupid mistakes, lack of maturity and other sinfulness, but we have Redeemer King! Praise Jesus Christ. He will restore us, sanctify us if we let Him.

As to this forum becoming a confession booth for the perceived walking wounded of Maranatha and EN, I am not sure that it would be right. There are sharks swimming in this tank. Talk truth and be honest, but don't believe that anyone will truely repent unless under the conviction of God. Repentence is not an anecdote but part of our testimony to be treasured and respected.

[john_r_jones (john_r_jones)]

Dawson, I was reading "Abba's Child" yesterday morning to see if the quote I attributed to Brennan Manning was from that book instead of "Signature of Jesus". Anyway, I think that book raises some salient points for the territory you're traveling through spiritually. As to sharks...well the openness and candor here might touch some-many who don't see that in their present circumstances. To do so may come at a price for those making the choice to be more open, but then anything that smacks of being eternally life changing does. David said he would not make a sacrifice to God that didn't cost Him. One of the hallmarks of Maranatha was this very issue, you get a big idea and let someone else pay the freight. Conversely self-flagellation is a conterfeit of true humility, humility that allows us to accept ourselves and love ourselves as the Father loves us. To minister in this atmosphere to others releases them and us from any aspect of performing for some unrealistic ideal of perfection.
John

[lisajacobson (lisajacobson)]

Dawson,
what a great post and message that you gave in church!! I love it. I've had to learn many of the same lessons so that I could be vulnerable before others and admit my failures. We definitely had an unhealthy church culture that encouraged shame and hiding. Praise God that we have a Saviour who is acquainted with our weaknesses and bore our shame. It's good to know that you and Anne are doing so well.
Lisa

[coppertree (coppertree)]

<font face="arial,helvetica"></font>
Hi John R Thank you for your post, keep posting as I am beginning to get it. We inspite of who we are and what we have done; are still priests before our King because of what He has done for us. Thank you my friend.}

[john_r_jones (john_r_jones)]

I discovered through Manning's writings and others such as Philip Yancey that we have an imposter, a poser within. As we recognize that we become an intolerant tyrant with him/her as we would with no one else. I found I had to bring my poser self to God, who was no less surprised at his existence than Adam and Eve's taste in produce.

God expects us to fail more than we do ourselves, He views us not through a microscope, nor a telescope, neither focused on the minutia, or aloof and distant. We are seen as we are His creation which He called good in its entirety. I've talked with several folks who were in Maranatha who recount times of short commings, of recriminations for failures of awkward circumstances where we wished we'd performed better. The problem with that is that still isn't who we are, when we are freed to become our authentic selves how we perform in a given circumstance changes. Dawson for example blanched when he got flustered at Bob's rebuke and the ensuing time together. My perspective is that Dawson is a servant through and through, and approachable without the facade of overconfidence, or bluster. In battle there are no "brave" men only scared men who do their duty. We'd like to do our duty sans the impediments of our weaknesses, sort of like baking a cake without dirtying the mixing bowl. In effect those whom we sought approval of live in a gated community of their own making, the bravado, or hyper-religiousity keeps everyone else at arms length. The debate raging on other threads here over the P.V. thing or Brentwood have no attraction for me because I don't need that sort of high mantinence Christianity, and most don't if you think about it. The life many have lived since are more centered on the business of living life. Having community where you find it, being inspiring in meaningful, simple, unpretentious, yet useful ways.

The story is related of a Bhudist monk in the forest suddenly acosted by a tiger. He flees for his life and scrambles over the brow of a cliff the tiger unable to follow. As the monk dangles there the terror of his past lurking above, the terror of the future below he notices at eye level a lone wild strawberry clinging to the cliff face. It's huge and inviting he plucks it and tastes it "It's the most delicious strawberry I've ever tasted" he muses. We serve the God of now He's interested in what you do with now. What you've done in the past-regretable or lauditory have made you who you are, the events brought here in the presence of God almighty. He isn't a fatalist, he used Jonah freshly bleached with the digestive juices of a fish, who remostrated with God when He relented of judgement of sinners. The effect of Jonahh's appearance his ardor-basically he had nowhere else to go, and his dialogue with God quite frank as a consequence got him in touch with who he was. When we minister likewise in stark frankness with God and ourselves neither dwelling in self recrimination about our appearance, nor making any appologies for it it is incredibly freeing to those we minister to, ourselves included.
John

(Message edited by john r. jones on October 06, 2005)

(Message edited by John r. jones on October 06, 2005)

[speakword2004 (speakword2004)]

Well I am no poster boy for the revolution myself. I am extremely handsome but also very overweight. I may be a grumpy so-and-so much of the time, but when it comes to Christianity, I find that I am becoming less religious and more authentic daily in suprising leaps and bounds.

The fact is that we are all losers in that none of us can attain true fellowship with God by our own efforts. It comes through a relationship with Jesus. The real losers are those who make avid pretense at true fellowship but really behave as if they do not.

Why? We are being perfected, being sanctified, being changed, being restored, having our minds renewed daily. It is a journey, a pilgrimage and the only way forward. We do not attain perfection in this lifetime. No one does. We don't translate into supermen just by some works programme or fidelity to authorities or to a church or programme of world conquest or by being on the "cutting edge of ministry". Our testimony should be firmly seated in Christ and not in any of the above. Even our own humility should not be an authentication of our place.

[formermaranathapastor (formermaranathapastor)]

Dawson Lewis- Are you still with His People in South Africa?

Thank you

[annelewis (annelewis)]

fmp,

Since the Lewis family time on the boards is hit &amp; miss lately, I'll jump in and answer. We returned from RSA in late June of 1993.

anne

[speakword2004]

A recce to the local mall this evening for the works one Brennan Manning as prescribed by our resident doctor of Bunnydom, John Jones MDB, was met with great success. At the checkout counter the 2 kids in charge of this large retailer of pop Christendom tonight both gave their seal of approval to my prospective purchases. So, John, if 20 year olds are recommending him you know that this old monk is cool.
I doubt they would have found my other acquisitions from another store as cool. Here's my losers multimedia agenda for day off tomorrow:
-a chapter or two of Mr Manning whilst the boss makes breakfast
-followed by watching Messrs Connolly and Robin Williams being rude and themselves
-A Christian bluegrass video to get me ready for a lunchtime barbecue
-ELO and then U2 live on DVD
-And later the blues with The Last of the Mississippi Jukes and then I will practise my blues harp for is great for driving out cats and demons.

It's a loser's paradise.

[speakword2004]

and a posers paradise

[matt_hatter]

It's a loser's paradise.

The Georgia Satellites and the Kentucky Headhunters blasting my truck off the Interstate in a couple of hours...Loserville, fersure, maaaan....Speak, boy, Speak!

Matt

[wiseasaserpentgentleasadove]

JRJ-If you aint who you is, then who you is is who you isn't

Thanks for helping me figure out what a loser I really am....John, I think I had to read that line above at LEAST 5 times before I read it correctly. Hey-nice to be able to admit I'm a loser!!!!

I also thought this was a brand-new thread until I got all the way down....LOSER!!!!http://www.factnet.org/discus/clipart/proud.gif(feels nice!)

[speakword2004]

Hey, Matt! Your'e a good man.

[ginger1]

Well, EN graduated me from loser to bitterness. :0 I do wonder whats the next down level from bitterness ?

[jesusisawesome]

Thanks for sharing Dawson, I get what you are saying and enjoyed your posting. Powerful stuff. I'm reminded about 2 Corinth 12 where Paul glories in his weaknesses.

I think it was Sameo that posted before about desiring to stay in the low place. I know my own righteousness is as filthy rags, but that only makes the beauty of Christ shine even brighter! With the passing of time, His beauty only increases exponentially in my eyes. How precious is the flow that makes me white as snow . . . nothing but the blood of Jesus!