The Leading of the Holy Spirit and Godbs plan for us for 2005

[maria_t (maria_t)]

<font color="ff0000">Dear Factnet friends:

I have been wrestling with these thoughts/feelings inside of me for over a week now. I am stepping down for some period of time from posting. I am not isolating myself or doing anything "off" or "weird." I tried to share this a few days ago, it didn't go over well, so this is my last attempt to again share what I feel the Lord is laying on my heart to share. </font>

<font color="000000">I do sense changes in the type of spirit on here recentlty and I have to go with what I feel the Lord is dealing with me about. I just don't get a witness that some of my writings/posts of late were truly led or motivated by the Holy Spirit. This isn't picking on any other person, its something truly that deals solely with me personally. I don't want to post unless I am led by the Lord. That was how I had started posting last May. Its been more of a inward struggle in the last 2 months. Recently, someone shared with me that after spending a great amount of time on Factnet that they felt "dirty and unclean." At first I said nothing, but it stayed in the back of my thoughts. As I prayed (and I have been praying a lot over this past week), I understood exactly what they meant. I could literally feel the filthyness in my spirit from some of the posts.
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There is a spirit behind some of the posts that is not the Holy Spirit. If its not Him that is leading us to post then, its a spirit of the "other" kind. I am not looking to argue/discuss/fight/nitpick/label or criticize anyone in particular. I also was not alone in discerning this either.</font>

<font color="aa00aa">I tried the other day to share my heart that I sensed a "different" spirit on here. There was one of loving peace and unity after the elder's declaration. Something atmospheric really did change, and its not the people that are evil which everyone misjudged my saying...it was the spirit behind the posts that was evil in nature. All the backbiting, nit-picking, criticizing, arguments or disagreements going so overboard into where people were being beat upon for daring to be different...others, including me "having" to be right issues...it was making me sick physically because I thought we were all past that point. My spirit began to be grieved.</font>
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There are a few posters that just won't "let go" of issues, they enjoy arguing with people and forcing their point of view so strongly until someone just withdraws feeling beat up emotionally, worn out from having to "defend" the statements they made or their position. It keeps happening. And, its the same few posters. I got into the same trap and I am taking myself out right here and now. Sometimes boldness to the point of rudeness doesn't get a point proved when its laced with anger, spite, malice, vindictiveness, bitternesses and resentments.</font>

<font color="0000ff">Truth is, I was becoming greatly emotionally overwhelmed and spiritually drained after reading thru some of the posts and after posting myself without having been led by the spirit. I sense more than ever the Holy Spirit drawing me unto Himself for a season, and a great admonishment on His part directing me once again only to post as led by Him from now on. Its going to take some "dying" to my flesh but its a price I want to pay. I want more of the image of Christ formed in me more than I want to be "right" about GGWO and TBS and the ugly things the leaders did or are doing today. Which is more important??? That is what I asked myself. </font><font color="ff0000">

I am guilty before the Lord and I am asking all of you to forgive me. I am truly sorry for jumping all over you at times and pushing my thoughts, beliefs or whatever.

Thanks for hearing me out. I'll be in and out as the Lord leads.
Love in Christ,
Maria
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[maria_t (maria_t)]

<font color="000000">This is what I feel the Lord is sharing with me personally for 2005. I never liked the "New Year's Resolutions" saying, lol those start with great intentions and end up nowhere a lot of times.

</font><font color="aa00aa">I feel that the Lord wants to form more of Christ in each and every one of us. The time of His return is near, and the church as a whole is not ready. I don't mean people need to get "finatic" or "hyperspiritual" in a panic like they did with the Y2K stuff.

</font><font color="ff0000">Its is a time more than ever to draw close to Him in prayer, in His Word, in our personal relationships with Him. Only we know where we are at "spiritually." I'm not writing this to judge or condemn anyone or point any fingers at anyone singling them out. I am sharing this with the body of Christ as a whole. I've missed that intimacy with the Lord. I am no more guilty than anyone else. However, I am guilty if I don't follow through on what I believe He is showing me in regards to my walk with Him.</font>

<font color="0000ff">There is much happening these days in the spirit realm. We need to be equipped for battle.
Most of that "battle" will be on our knees in intercession - for those of us who are called into intercessory prayer. God has brought us through many trials and times of severe pain in our hearts this year. I want to be so full of His Spirit and a vessel used to minister His love to those hurting, whether its here on Factnet or in person, on the phone, or whatever.

There are many of our brothers and sisters still left and they are greatly deceived about GGWO. They are going to need us when they do realize what's transpired all these years. This week I helped a friend get out, and the pain from the tears she shed gripped my heart so heavily. I don't want to be so pre=occupied with details of life or details of Factnet that I miss the leading of the Holy Spirit to minister to one of His beloved coming out of that cult.</font><font color="ff0000">

Anyone else with anything the Lord has shared with them for 2005??? This is the place to share it if you feel led.

See you all "soon" I hope.
love in Christ,
Maria</font>

[washburndunc (washburndunc)]

Great post!!!!!!!!

Hope we all, me most of all, take it to heart.

[washburndunc (washburndunc)]

feel free to email me

dwgwjwgw@hotmail.com

[bjerwin (bjerwin)]

Thank you Maria T.

[heather (heather)]

Maria, although I have no intention of not posting I do know where you are coming from.I know a few people who experienced emotional and spiritual draining, FactNet is not where GOd was leading them. I do feel that God has allowed Factnet to serve a purpose, but again its not for everyone. I hope you stop by to say Hello every now and then as I have enjoyed getting to know you through your posts. It is through FactNet that I got the courage to go forward in my battle against child molestation, tax fraud, discrimination, retaliation, slander, board of health issues, building fund fraud, and last but not least Dept of education. I am but 1 mere woman, but I am filled with the spririt of God that Greater grace could only wish to teach about. I hope to give the next person the courage to go forward.

[quot_licet (quot_licet)]

Dear Maria,
God bless you in 2005 and I hope you will return to factnet when you feel you heart will be full enought with God's love and advice to share with people who come here in need of it. It was very encouraging for many, including myself, to observe the change of heart God produced in you in 2004, and to read your posts most of which were filled with the dearest of God's gifts - love. Not the phoney "love" heard of GG but the real one which brings compassion and reach out for the wounded.
I understand your feeling of being owerwhelmed with factnet. Yes bitterness is prevailing sometimes here and it may feel like the spirit is not the one of God. Yet let's see the place for what it is - an open medium for anyone's opinion to be heard rather than a place where one can grow in spirituality. You know, one can hear a good preacher speaking in Hyde Park in London but that is not the place where one should stick to for receiving from God. We have the chirch for that matter.
In GGWO it was often preached about discerning of spirits and guarding your heart. Clearly those doctrines were used to prevent any truth about CHS or his doctrines from having any impact on his enterprise. Yet I am afraid that this is the doctrine that may affect us negatively even after we leave in GGWO if we fail to re-evaluate it in the context of healthy teachings in healthy church environment. If we don't do it, it maybe very frustrating to expect a blessing in a place and situations where we as Christians are supposed to be a blessing, such as Factnet.
Maria, your story and many posts have been a blessing to many here, and i wish you to find a church where your can truly rebound from whatever wounds you might feel now.
Happy New Year,
AK

(Message edited by quot_licet on December 29, 2004)

[isabella (isabella)]

Maria T:
I read your post with great interest.

I too have felt that 'lousy' feeling about reading and posting on factnet. I think that I'll name this malaise: "TBS/GGWO Syndrome"

First, I get this feeling because I have obligations to meet and I do not meet them when I follow this board. I have even been late for work and I don't even have to be in until 10:00 AM!

Secondly, revisiting the vileness and the carelessness of TBS/GGWO/HS/MM/PR/PA/PD/PM/Doctor/ ..feeds that sick feeling and brings me into a negative mindset. I begin to suffer from depression (that same 'sick' feeling) and I cannot allow that so I stay away.

Third, (and last) these people (including Paul Stevens) know what they did and continue to do. They did it to you and most of the people posting here. They want to continue in their ways and they will. They will continue to destroy families and take advantage of the vulnerable. That's what they do and they're very good at it. (As I have said before, 'It's easy to do, but you have to want to do it'). Roberta, Boddah, Curious, Nonotone, David Drago, JF, Louise, Jeannie, Yogi, Boss and all the others who post here know what they did and what they still continue to do. More importantly, these guys (so called pastors) know..they know exactly what they’re doing. May God have mercy on them.

Finally, I would like to say this: I'm sorry that you will not be posting for a while because I really gained a lot from some of the things you said, but I understand. You seem to be very intelligent and I find your posts to be very well thought-out. I admire you for that. I hope you stay well enough to check in once in a while.
Take a rest..have peace and take care of yourself.
Love and prayers,
Isabella

[british_sponge_bob (british_sponge_bob)]

Your posts will be sorely missed. I agree with Heather we have gotten to know you thru them here on Factnet. And I too have watched God change you and open your eyes to some very painful realities that we all have experienced. Sometimes I posted anonymously and took pot shots at people on here out of anger. You were one of them I targeted a lot. I apologize for that. I was having a hard time dealing with all the **** this ministry put many of us though.

Don't stay away too long. By the way you have great vision and goals for 2005. I know your words have certainly made me think many times. Your loving heart spoke volumes. Someday I will post with my real name but for now I;m signing off as B.G.

[helenaofmass (helenaofmass)]

DEAREST MARIA;
I HAVE NOT POSTED ON FACTNET FOR SOME TIME, EVER SINCE THE FORMAT CHANGE AT LEAST. IT IS EXACTLY FOR THE REASONS THAT YOU HAVE MENTIONED. AT TIMES I HAVE SEEN CHANGES OF HEART. HOWEVER THE SAME PEOPLE TAKE ISSUES PERSONALLY AND THINGS THAT SHOULD REMAIN IN PRIVATE BECOME HEADACHES FOR US ALL.
I KNOW THAT I WILL MISS YOUR UPLIFTING POSTS AND I DO HOPE THE HOLY SPIRIT LEADS YOU BACK TO ENLIGHTEN AND INFORM.
I ADMIRE YOUR INTEGRITY AND YOUR HEART. I PRAY FOR A NEW BEGINNING FOR ALL OF US A FACTNET, GG AND AS CHILDREN OF GOD.

BLESSINGS AND JOY TO YOU,
HELENA

[rem (rem)]

good heart of God to prayer for peples hurting and not to muck peples hurting

[maria_t (maria_t)]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I came back on searching for something that was on my mind this morning and read your posts. I'll be in and out as the Lord leads.

Take care everybody.
Love Maria

[mercyreigns (mercyreigns)]

<font color="aa00aa">Beautiful post Maria. Hope all is well with your health. God bless you and Happy healthy New Year. http://www.factnet.org/discus/clipart/happy.gif

Nancy Curra</font>