mercyreigns (mercyreigns)
12-31-2005, 05:46 PM
This is a time of reflection for me as I think of the passed few years. December 19th was my brother Bob's birthday. He was a year younger than me. He passed away a few years ago at the age of 41. January 1 is my mother's birthday. She passed away May 21, 2004. January 1 is also my daughter's father's birthday (he was my first husband). He died when she was just 11.
January 5th is my youngest brother Bill's birthday. He went to Heaven May 24 this year. I almost died 6 times in the last two years, spent all last year and part of this year in hospitals and nursing homes. I am bedbound for 18 hours a day and sit in my wheelchair for the other 7. I have not been outside of my home for about a month now. I go out once every month to a store which is such a thrill for me.
I was in a church for 20 years that had a split that hurt so many and lost nearly all my friends. I moved to Florida to my mom's home and have no home church. There are no churches here that do home visitation so live fellowship is rare. And although I live with people there is an isolation when Christ is not the focal of the home.
I look at the sun through my windows and watch the rain gently hit the glass. I have a lit up picture of the ocean with the appearance of moving water on the wall in my bedroom It is my treasured glimpse of my favorite place. I am blessed to be living with my children and my precious granddaughter. She is a true delight.
I have a husband that is like a dream. He loves me just the way I am, paralyzed with tubes coming out of everywhere. He doesn't see any of that. He sees the me inside. He is so kind, thoughtful and loving. He is like the Samaritan who was the only one who stopped at the roadside to help the injured person in the Bible. (Luke 10:30-37).
My life is a mix of the bitter and the sweet. It typifies the human condition. We all have these bitter/sweet lives. The more I meditated these passed few days the more my anticipation has grown to meet this great Creator, our merciful God. It is an amazing thing to me that there is this place of joy deep within that nothing can stop. It is truly the joy of the Lord. I can't stop it even on my worst days that are filled with tears and depression.
This unspeakable joy has a way of slipping it's way into my heart and mind. I find myself comforted even when I am severely depressed. It is completely unexplainable. It is God. He is real and He is faithful. I don't even pretend to understand Him. I just get this little jump in my heart when I realize one day I will see this amazing God face to face and I am left at peace.
I wish all of you a beautiful and exquisite New Year. I pray that God has us completely prepared for any surprises that come our way.
January 5th is my youngest brother Bill's birthday. He went to Heaven May 24 this year. I almost died 6 times in the last two years, spent all last year and part of this year in hospitals and nursing homes. I am bedbound for 18 hours a day and sit in my wheelchair for the other 7. I have not been outside of my home for about a month now. I go out once every month to a store which is such a thrill for me.
I was in a church for 20 years that had a split that hurt so many and lost nearly all my friends. I moved to Florida to my mom's home and have no home church. There are no churches here that do home visitation so live fellowship is rare. And although I live with people there is an isolation when Christ is not the focal of the home.
I look at the sun through my windows and watch the rain gently hit the glass. I have a lit up picture of the ocean with the appearance of moving water on the wall in my bedroom It is my treasured glimpse of my favorite place. I am blessed to be living with my children and my precious granddaughter. She is a true delight.
I have a husband that is like a dream. He loves me just the way I am, paralyzed with tubes coming out of everywhere. He doesn't see any of that. He sees the me inside. He is so kind, thoughtful and loving. He is like the Samaritan who was the only one who stopped at the roadside to help the injured person in the Bible. (Luke 10:30-37).
My life is a mix of the bitter and the sweet. It typifies the human condition. We all have these bitter/sweet lives. The more I meditated these passed few days the more my anticipation has grown to meet this great Creator, our merciful God. It is an amazing thing to me that there is this place of joy deep within that nothing can stop. It is truly the joy of the Lord. I can't stop it even on my worst days that are filled with tears and depression.
This unspeakable joy has a way of slipping it's way into my heart and mind. I find myself comforted even when I am severely depressed. It is completely unexplainable. It is God. He is real and He is faithful. I don't even pretend to understand Him. I just get this little jump in my heart when I realize one day I will see this amazing God face to face and I am left at peace.
I wish all of you a beautiful and exquisite New Year. I pray that God has us completely prepared for any surprises that come our way.