The Continuing Saga of the Langs: The irony... there are sociopaths living among us...

[not dazed or confused]

Hello all... seems this board is DEAD! Just to let anyone who is interested that there will be a rather lengthy addition to the "Al Lang Story" forthcoming. I have been keeping a journal for the past several years, and I intend to post my own 'story'.' I now know why Cordell did not want me in the Lang's life... he knew...

First of all, I would like to apologize to everyone for not listening to their good advice and instead choosing to defend Margaret Rose Hadley Lang. As it turns out, she was not worthy of my defense, nor my loyalty or my faith in her. She is exactly as most of you portrayed her—even worse. Margaret has proven, once again, that she gives only lip service to her commitment to God and to her service to Him.


Margaret Lang believes she is the person she aspires to be and pretends to be, but in reality it is her life-long and persistent manipulative, deceptive and duplicitous behavior and actions that define who she really and truly is. Margaret believes that righteousness, Godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness are optional, and that everything that defines righteousness and a true commitment to God are relative according to her own selfish desires, feelings and compulsions.

I would also like to point out and provide evidence that the Lang’s lawsuit against GGWO was unwarranted, and that the fact that GGWO was forced to use parishioner’s money to pay the Lang’s for Margaret Lang’s neediness, clinginess, deception and manipulation was sacrilegious. That money should have gone to where it was needed the most—specifically for God’s work. I do not know if there is a statute of limitations for the type of lawsuit that was brought against GGWO, but if GGWO—who will be receiving a copy of this story—wants to attempt to reverse the outcome of that lawsuit, both my husband and I would be more than happy to help them in any way we can.

I also believe that the Lang’s lawsuit against GGWO and their accusations against the pastor of that church allowed both Margaret and her husband the opportunity to minimize Margaret’s true involvement in that debacle, so that she would never have to be truly remorseful or repentant for what she did to her 'friend' the pastor, to her 'friends' marriage and family; nor was she ever remorseful for what she did to her own marriage and family, and for what she did to the reputation of both GGWO, her 'friend,' and her own husband. Because Margaret was never held accountable for her manipulative and deceptive behavior, and because she was never truly remorseful or repentant, this allowed her to repeat that same behavior with another married man—my husband. Not to mention at least one more man in between.

Oh, the irony... it gets better... and Cordell knew...

[not dazed or confused]

I should have written "it gets worse" rather than "it gets better," because nothing good has come from my relationship with Margaret Lang. She brought nothing but darkness and destruction into my home and into my family.


The continuing saga of the “Lang” family is also written for every member and former member of GGWO who judged either Margaret’s friend from Baltimore, the pastor, or GGWO based on the lawsuit brought against GGWO AND the Lang's former friend, the pastor from Baltimore. This story is also written for Margaret’s friend the pastor, the pastor’s wife and his entire family. If Margaret inserted herself into her friend’s life like she did in my life and my family’s life, then her friend was nothing more than a victim of Margaret’s manipulative “smooth words and flattering speech” that is “smoother than oil.” I am only sorry that the her friend’s father is deceased so that he will never know the truth about Margaret’s seduction and manipulation of his son in her quest to fill the empty cavity that is her heart.

This story is also written for any family who invites Margaret Lang into their lives, and who is as trusting and naïve as both my husband and I were concerning Margaret’s true character and motivations. It is also written for her family so that they can warn others who might fall victim to Margaret’s weepy woe-is-me-ness and her please-someone-just-save-me act. Because Margaret lacks a strong, moral center, I pray that the Hadley family will be ever-present in her life so they can act as her moral compass so that her ability and/or her power to harm, destroy or fracture any more families—including her own—is finally taken from her.

A righteous man is cautious of friendship,

But the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Proverbs 27:9)


Also, this very true, sad story is written for me. Any person who becomes a victim of what I have just experienced in my life feels the need to “tell their story.” I am aware that as a Christian I am probably not being as introspective as I should be, and that I may be writing this story to serve my own selfish motivations, but I just can’t get past the fact that telling the truth about Margaret may save another family from the same kind of harm she has caused my family. Perhaps if Margaret’s friend from Baltimore, the pastor, and his wife had collaborated on their story, I would have been duly warned.


Al Lang wrote his story to warn others of what he believed was wrongdoing by some members at GGWO, so I am simply doing the same so that I can warn others about Margaret Lang. The only difference is that I have no one I can bring a lawsuit against, and my story is not full of false or misleading accusations or allegations OR missing pieces of the puzzle—my story is absolutely true and I have left nothing out. I am also aware that there is nothing I can do to Margaret Lang that she hasn’t already done to herself. I am also aware that when God claimed vengeance was His, He wasn’t kidding because I have felt God’s vengeance in my own life for having allowed Margaret and in my life, and for becoming involved in the Lang’s marriage when I should have stayed completely out. By becoming involved in both Margaret’s life and the Lang’s marriage, I allowed Margaret the opportunity to insert herself right in the middle of my own life and my own marriage, and Margaret did nothing but leave a path of destruction right through the middle of each.

[not dazed or confused]

CONT.


My husband and I, because we listened to Margaret’s tear-filled lies, exaggerations and self-centered accusations against her husband, have offended him in a way that is inexcusable. All we can do is pray that her husband will eventually forgive us, just as I have to eventually forgive both Margaret and my husband, who, just like Margaret’s friend the pastor, was doomed from the very beginning of his “he’s just like a brother to me” relationship with Margaret. I have given myself only a certain period of time to rid myself of the toxic waste that Margaret Lang left in my life, and writing this story is one of the ways I intend to use to rid myself of that waste. I will not allow the rest of my life to become a bitter ode to Margaret Lang’s heinous betrayal, her manipulation of me, my husband and my family, her cold-heartedness, her duplicity or her wicked deceit. I have a long, hard and painful road ahead of me, and I fully intend to walk that road with God by my side. One day, with God’s strength, and only with God’s strength, I will be able to forgive Margaret and my husband. I know that I must choose to “free” those who have done grievous injury to me and my family and I know I must remember that even in the injustice, God is present, and that I must learn—through prayer—to bless those who have wronged me because it is God’s business to right all wrongs in the day of judgment.

Cast your burden in the Lord, and He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22)

This story is written from my perspective as a subjective analysis. My perspective includes what I observed through my own experience with Margaret, hindsight and research concerning women who prey on married men, pronounced emotional neediness, emotional infidelity, emotional manipulation, Disordered Narcissism, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Avoidant Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorders. This story is also written with information gleaned from my post-Hurricane Margaret-ravaged husband (especially since he was aware of—but confused about—what was going on with the real Margaret that was kept hidden from the rest of us), from information and discussions between myself and a friend who is just finishing her Masters degree in psychiatry, from information obtained through counseling sessions that both my husband and I have been attending, and through many discussions with Christian friends who had warned both my husband and me about Margaret and her unusual behavior. Since I am not a psychiatrist, a psychologist or any type of therapist, and since I cannot read her mind, it would be impossible for me to ascertain what type of emotional, personality or mental problem Margaret Lang has, but I can offer my own opinion about her emotional and/or mental state based on my intimate experience with her. It is also possible that Margaret Lang may not suffer from any personality, emotional or mental disorder at all, because it is very possible that Margaret Lang is just simply an evil person.

I realize that attempting to diagnose someone with any illness—either mental or physical—via information obtained from the web is dangerous and could be misleading, and if anyone were to look at the list of symptoms for these types of disorders, most of us would be able to pick out a few that we have experienced at different times in our own lives. But in Margaret’s case, if it walks like a duck, if it quacks like a duck, and if it looks like a duck, then it is a duck. Additionally, writing this story is my attempt to try to understand the reasons for Margaret’s betrayal of me, our friendship, my marriage and my family, and to try to determine what kind of person is capable of doing the kind of things that she has done to us. Neither my husband nor I have ever experienced the type of ugliness and chaos that Margaret brought into our life and our marriage, and so neither one of us were equipped to deal with her.

[not dazed or confused]

CONT.

What I am writing is not slander, because what I am writing is the truth. If Margaret ever reads this story (and I doubt that she will), she will be no more or less harmed than any murderer, rapist or thief who sits in a court of law and witnesses all the evidence against him or her. What that criminal does with the evidence and the information that is provided is entirely up to him or her. Unfortunately, there are many murderers, rapists, thieves and moral criminals who, even though they agree with the evidence against them, feel they are innocent because they truly believe they had a good reason for committing their crime, and they will be neither repentant nor remorseful. That type of thinking is indicative of someone with a personality disorder and who is an emotional manipulator. Their way of thinking is to “project blame onto other people or circumstances” and then “they fail to take the responsible path of believing that they are accountable for their own lives” because “their focus is on what others have done to them, and they are forever the victim.” And that pretty much describes Margaret Lang.

I sincerely believe, having spoken to Margaret about her past adulteries, that she is neither repentant nor remorseful for her adulterous affairs with her Tae Kwon Do instructor, with her “he’s just like a brother to me” pastor friend, or with the carny guy. Nor is Margaret Lang in the least bit bothered by any pain she has caused to all those she has left littering the path of destruction that is her life. Because Margaret was raised by an emotionally absent mother and an alcoholic father who was both verbally and physically abusive, and because she believes she did not receive the care and nurturing she needed growing up, and because she was molested as a teenager, her focus is entirely on what others have done to her, and what she feels is necessary to overcome the disaster that is her life. Margaret is the perpetual victim. Margaret simply feels that the circumstances in her life have given her a solid foundation for committing adultery and for using people to reach her own selfish goals. Also, Margaret believes her adulterous affairs are love affairs, not adultery,she feels she is absolutely blameless because she needed someone and she feels she was just following her heart because “she gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not.” (Proverbs 5:6)

This is the way of an adulteress:

She eats and wipes her mouth and says,

“I’ve done nothing wrong.’

(Proverbs 30:20)

[not dazed or confused]

The next installment of my story will include a little background information about the situation both I and my family were in when Margaret inserted herself into our lives. The worst is yet to come...

[not dazed or confused]

Hello all... I think some of you may be wondering why I am posting my story on this particular site. You may be wondering why I believe my story is relevant to the Greater Grace World Outreach church. I will explain:

1) Greater Grace World Outreach is present on this site because some people believe that church has 'cultish' tendencies.
2) When someone thinks of a 'cult' they think of mind-control and the seduction, and then control of, the vulnerable.
3) Al Lang used that 'cult' belief in GGWO to form the foundation of his lawsuit against that church and it's pastor. He relied heavily on a 'mob' type of reaction to gain sympathy for his 'situation.' He knew how easily people would believe his and his wife's lies and false allegations against GGWO and it's pastor.
4) Most of the people I have come in contact with on this board were and/or are aware of the true nature of Margaret Lang, but they--as a result of their own bitterness and belief that GGWO is a 'cult,' and because they were more than willing to believe anything and everything 'negative' about that church, were more than willing to jump on the 'mob mentality wagon' and burn an innocent man at that stake to assuage their own selfish need for some type of perverted 'redemption' or need for a 'gotcha.'
5) Al Lang himself used this forum to tell HIS story and to perpetuate that negative 'mob' mentality. And he was successful.

Life is a constant learning experience. We make decisions and choices based on what we know today, and we form opinions based on what we know today. When we learn something new, or when we find out that what we once believed is not as it seemed, we have the choice to modify our opinions, and we have the ability to change the path we were walking based on the decisions and choices we made previously that were based on faulty or misleading information--at least most of us have that ability. I have absolutely no problem humbling myself and admitting when I am wrong... that I believed something that wasn't true... that I jumped on the wrong band wagon... that I was foolish... blind... etc etc...

I have learned, to my great pain, that there are many forms of 'mind-control,' and many forms of 'seduction,' and that there are those living among us who manipulate us into believing things that are not true. We live amongst emotional predators and emotional vampires. My story will show how Margaret Lang used a subtle form of both mind-control and seduction--both of which are manipulative tools--to worm her way into my life. Manipulation is all about seduction, half-truths, lies, omission and anything else the manipulator can use to attain his or her goals--and Margaret Lang has been honing her manipulative skills since childhood. "Manipulation' is just one of many negative characteristics the children of verbally and physically abusive alchoholic fathers learn. Margaret Lang has been conditioned and hardwired almost from birth to manipulate. That is who Margaret Lang is. But Margaret, like the proverbial adulteress in Proverbs, simply wipes her mouth and says "I have done nothing wrong" because she has absolutely no self-awareness.

My story will prove that the lawsuit against GGWO and it's pastor was nothing but a series of lies, false allegations, distortions and half-truths borne from the jealous rage of a husband who is unwilling to see his wife for who she truly is.

And since this forum has been used to perpetuate those lies, I simply feel it is necessry to set the record straight.

[not dazed or confused]

Also... for any of you who might believe that my story, or parts of my story, are untrue, please be aware that once my story has been posted on this site, I intend to send a copy to Al lang and give both he and his wife the opportunity to point out any parts of my story that are untrue or that may mischaracterize his wife. If, and when, that occurs, I will be more than happy to post both an apology and a retraction.

I am steeped in honesty... I have absolutely no reason to lie...

[not dazed or confused]

In early spring 2007, when my husband and I met Margaret Lang, my husband and I had been together for 24 years. We had a good marriage--we fit together. Like all married couples, we had fallen into the duties each of us would perform throughout our life together. My husband was the primary "work horse" (he was the primary bread-winner) and I was the "secondary work horse" (I worked just as many hours as he did, but I did not make as much money). I was also the "executive" (meaning I took care of all the minutae of life--groceries, meals, errand-running, laundry, house-cleaning, bill-paying, budgeting, banking, holiday planning, etc etc) as well as the heart of our marriage. My husband, in addition to being the primary "work hourse," also took out the trash and kept our vehicles in running order. It seemed to work for us.

Our life together ran fairly smoothly because we enjoyed each others company, we did practically everything together and we worked well together. Unfortunately, after over 20 years of smooth sailing, we started to get shaken up a bit around 2001. My husband was furloughed from his well-paying airline job, so we had to come up with a different 'plan.' We decided to start our own business. It started out as a type of handyman business, and then we went into landscaping, some light construction, and interior painting. I still had my job with the airline, so we still had medical insurance and a bit of job stability while my husband worked on the "meaat" of the business while I did the paperwork and the taxes required to run a small business (in addition to working and being the executive of our marriage).

We were just learning our new routine, when we learned, in 2004 that there was something going on with my daughter. She was beginnning to behave erractically, and know one knew what was going on with her. She lived on the West Coast with the rest of our family, and we were 2,500 miles away in Western Pennsylvania. We started getting hints that my daughter was addicted to drugs. It was difficult for any of us to believe this because it was totally out of character for her. She had always been a strong, independent, hard-working young woman.

When I first suspected that my daughter was addicted to drugs, I tried to convince my family--from 2,500 miles away--of this horror. During this time, my father was going through chemotherapy for non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma so my parents already had a lot going on in their lives. My parents could not believe that my daughter could even think about being on drugs and walking down that path, nor could they believe that she would endanger either her life or the life of her own daughter by being involved in this type of lifestyle. There were many calls back and forth between my parents and myself as I tried to convince them what was going on. It was important for them to believe me because I needed their help--I was 2,500 miles away.

Although I did not know what type or types of drugs my daughter had become addicted to, I read everything I could about drug addiction. Nothing I read was good. Absolutely nothing. And then I found out my baby was addicted to crystal meth. A killer drug. Absolute devestation. I was terrified for both her and my granddaughter.

[not dazed or confused]

Even after I convinced my parents and the rest of my family that my daughter was an addict,the conflict within my family remained. I went from trying to convince my family that there was a problem, to trying to convince my family that they needed to help me help her. I asked my parents to refuse to help my daughter, and I asked them to refuse to give her money (she had lost her job as a result of her addiction). I begged them to please, please help me force my daughter to hit "rock bottom" safely so that she could be saved. Everything I read about crystal meth indicated that, if left alone, "rock bottom" for the person addicted could be death. I did not want my daughter's "rock bottom" to be death. My parents, unfortunately, believed that they were obligated to help her in any capacity that she needed or wanted. I tried to convince them that helping her was acutally enabling her to continue on the path she had started to walk down. So I fought with my parents even more, and not only did I feel abandoned and alone because they would not listen to me, I felt like crap because I was fighting with my father even as he was undergoing treatment for cancer. I was desperate.

My heart and my soul ached. I cred every day, and I begged God to intervene and save both my babies--my daughter and my granddaughter. My pain became so unbearable that I was unable to go through a single day without breaking down in tears, so my doctor prescribed anti-depressants for me. I hated taking the anti-depressants, but at least I could go to work without any fear of sobbing in front of a customer. Unfortunately, I experienced many of the infamous side effects related to anti-depressants. I gained weight. I lost my motivation. I couldn't think cohesively (for lack of a better way to put it). My husband tried his best to comfort me, but the stress and the pain of what we were going through had rendered him nearly as depressed as I was--which was a condition we were not to discover till much later (men deal with their depression differently than do women, and many men feel they are too 'manly' to be 'down').

After so many years of peace, security and tranquility in our lives, it seemed we had found ourselves confronting one crisis after another. Despite all this chaos and conflict, my husband and I continued our struggle to get our own business up and running. We were struggling with so much, but we still had each other to depend on, and we had started going to church and to bible study so that we could make God a bigger part of our lives.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[not dazed or confused]

And then, thankfully, in March 2006, my daughter decided to move back home with us and drop out of the life she had been living. My prayers, and the prayers of many others, had been answered. She had come close to losing her own life (as she would tell me much later), and she had been close to losing her daughter. Within weeks of my daughter's decision to move in with my husband and me, I lost my job with the airline I had been working for (my job had been shipped overseas). Along with the loss of my job, my husband and I also lost our health insurance and our feeling of job-security. Another crisis. We weren't going to let the loss of my job defeat us, so we decided my husband and I would work together to build our business. We could do it.

Unfortunately, althought both my husband and I were overjoyed that our daughter and granddaughter had moved back home to live with us, our house began to look like a bomb had exploded as we tried to make room for the both of them. As we walked through the physical wreckage of our once semi-organized and tidy home, we discovered we were also walking on eggshells while my daughter began her painfull climb to recovery. We were afraid any stress or anxiety would send her back to the life she had just so recently left. Our life together was not what we wanted it to be, nor was it what it had always been. There was chaos in our home where there had once been peace. My house was a disaster, and there did not seem to be any way of putting it back in order any time soon. Neither my husband or I felt that our home or our life was our own anymore. We just kept hoping and praying that things would get better with time and with healing for my daughter.

When my dauther moved home, she saw that I was not the "mom" she had always known. I was no longer the joyful, teasing, get-everthing-done, on-top-of-everything, working-on-projects mom that she had known all her life. I had been beaten down. I had always been the heart, the soul and the engine in our family, and although I was trying my best to keep up with what life had throuwn at me, I was tired. Bone tired. I was not the person I had always been. I had lost me through the horror and pain of my daughter's drug addiction and my concern and fear for her, and I was having a hard time getting back to being me. Since my daughter had been a successful manager prior to her drug addiction, she decided she was going to manage 'me' back to 'me.' My daughter was going to save me from my depression. Unfortunately, her managing 'me' only caused me more pain. Nothing either I or my husband said to her would get her to stop. She was just as determined to get 'me' back as she was as determined to quit using drugs. More chaos.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[not dazed or confused]

Although I was already tired as a result of what seemed like one crisis after another, my daughter's attempt at managing me out of my depression rendered me completely and absolutely numb. I was exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally. My doctor saw my exhaustion and my numbness, so she prescribed an even larger dose of anti-depressants to help me through my daughter's recovery and her management of me. I was so tired I could barely even take care of myself. I did not go for once-every-three months blood tests for my hypothyroidism for at least nine months, and so I gained even more weight. The level of exhaustion I was feeling made it difficult for me to even get out of bed in the morning. There were times I just wanted to crawl under my bed and hide from everyone. In addition to everything that had gone on and what was currently happening in my life, I was also on the downhill-side of peri-menopause and sliding straight into full-blown menopause. There was no recovery time from one blow to the next. There was no time to regenerate. I was just about to turn fifty. I felt like everything was a mess. I was a mess. For the first time in my life, I did not feel I had any control. I didn't feel there was any possible way life could throw any more dirt in my face. I was wrong.

And that is when we--my husband, my daughter and myself--met Margaret Rose Hadley Lang.

Weird thing about anti-depressants is that anti-depressants affect each person differently. Although I experienced the usual symptoms, I also experienced a 'burrowing.' I withdrew. Also, because of the anti-depressants, my 'internal emergency broadcasting system was completely turned off. I had no internal defense mechanism to alert me to any danger. I had become totally and absolutely anethesized.

TO BE CONTINUED....

[not dazed or confused]

Margaret Rose Hadley Lang came into our lives in March of 2007. Margaret worked for one of our clients, and my husband and I were called in to do some painting and some repair work on this client's home to make it more appealing for potential buyers before the home was placed on the market.

Margaret claimed, within weeks of meeting us, that she loved us and that she admired my husband's and my marriage and our happiness with each other. Margaret claimed she wanted a marriage just like ours, and she wished she was as happy in her marriage as we were in ours. I was concerned about Margaret's quick declaration of love for us, but because my 'internal emergency broadcast system' was out, I simply shrugged it off. Unfortunately, as we were to learn, Margaret's premature declaration of love was simply an expression of superficial emotion that covered a deeper feeling of need and emptiness. In the beginning, my husband was at this client's home more often than my daughter and I, and Margaret and my husband became friends. Margaret claimed my hsuband was just like "a brother to her." I would learn, much later, that Margaret's idea of friendship with my husband was exactly like her friendship with her friend, the pastor, and her friendship with the martial arts instructor, because for Margaret Lang, friendship with a married man is nothing more than foreplay.

When my husband and I met Margaret, my attention was not focused on my husband and our marriage. Instead, my attention was directed towards my grandaughter and my daughter and my daughter's recovery from drug addiction--not to mention my own depression. Because I had been spending so much time woprrying about our daughter and granddaughter, and then caring for them when they moved in with me and my husband, I forgot to take care of myself emotionally and physically--and my depression and the anti-depressants I was on made my situation even worse. I wasn't as focused on my usual 'wife' roles (the heart and the engine/executive), and I wasn't feeling very good about myself or my role as a mother. When a parent witenesses their child, regarldss of how old that child is, slowly killing themselves with drugs, they literally put themselves through their own living hell. If anyone has had this type of experience, they will know exactly what I am talking about. The combination of the anti-depressants I was taking and my physical, emotional and mental exhaustion weakened the 'me' that everyone in my family had come to know. I wasn't myself. I had allowed myself to be beaten down. I did not rely on God the way I should have.

Both my husband and I had been weakened by the situations we had been facing over the past several years. Even though we were not at our strongest, I had no doubt that we would be able to move forward once we 'got a handle' on thngs. I had no idea that Margaret Lang would so boldly take advantage of our weaknesses and our vulnerabilities the way that she did. Many of us have the need to please others so that we'll be accepted, and Margaret spotted this trait in both my husband and me very early in our relationship with her. We were to find out that Margaret, like other emotional manipulators, knew our vulnerable areas better than we did, and because of her uncanny ability to spot those weaknesses, she would go on to exploit our vulnerabilities to her advantage.

TO BE CONTINUED....

[not dazed or confused]

Margaret Lang. Do I believe that Margaret sets out to exploit another person's vulnerabilities? No. Although I do not believe Margaret is a stupid woman, I also do not believe she is 'bright' enough to realize what she is doing. Margaret is not 'bright' enough because Margaret lacks self-awareness. Without self-awareness there can be no self-reflection. Without self-reflection there can be no self-correction. And that is simply who Margaret is. She is hardwired to be who she is. Margaret Lang is the poster woman for every single verse in Proverbs that describes adulteresses. She has "ignored the covenant she made before God," and her "house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead." Margaret "...gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not." Margaret Lang has "...the smooth tongue of the wayward wife." And Margaret, as the poster woman for an adulteress, "...preys upon your very life." Margaret is "...the wayward wife with her seductive words," and she is the adulteress with the lips that "...drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil." Margaret is the "bad tree" that "bears bad fruit."

Adultery is neither passionate nor glamorous. Those who commit adultery are usually insecure, empty, weak, unhappy and selfish. Margaret is all of those things. Margaret is also an opportunist. None of the men, with the exception of the carny man, were out looking for an affair. It was Margaret who threw herself on these men--including my husband. Margaret is just always looking for someone to fill her emptiness. And she has proven that she does not care who that person is, where that person is in his life or if that person is married or not.

"JUST FRIENDS" www.buzzle.com (http://www.buzzle.com)
Dr. Robert Huizenga 12/1/2005

1) The person who pursues an emotional affair "often stuggles where to draw the line. he or she throws him/herself into something 100%. Other aspects of his/her life may suffer or be ignored. there is often a lack of personal blanace between family, work and self care." This is Margaret.

2) The person who pursues an emotional affair often "struggles with intimacy. the "just friends' emotional affair means netiher spouse nor the other person ever get intimate. Neither relationshiop is fully consummated or has potential for growth." Margaret again.

3) Of course the "just friends" comment means either "stay away" or "I'm, underneath all this, really confused about where I fit in relationships, what I want from them, or what they mean to me." There is an "emotioanl connection "to the ther person that defies description." A sad kind of "stuckness or lostness." This is Margaret.

The "falling in love" emotional affair is different. "The common complaint to the partner is: "'I feel badly about this, and I don't want to hurt you, but I'm not "in love" with you anymore." "I love you, but I'm not in love." This often indicates:

1) The person who pursues the "falling in love" type of emotional affair "usually has a need for drama and excitement. Life easily becomes a soap opera. Emotional juice from the fall-out of emotionally intense relationships reigns rather than living life from the core of who one is." Soooo Margaret.

2) The person who pursues this type of emotional affair is "looking for love" and "is actually looking for the ideal, someone out there who will project back to him/her that he/she is OK. No... more than OK," they want to be "close to perfect." Absolutely Margaret.

3) "This person" (Margaret) "needs to be adored, or think another adores him/her because there is a lack of inner strength and solid identity." The person Margaret pursues becomes her "world because she lacks a world of her own." "Being in love" becomes "the panacea" for Margaret's "emptiness."

4) "This type of affair often occurs when there is a "lull" in the marriage relationship. The responsibility of raising children, starting and maintaining a career, paying bills, etc become the focal point for the couple. Romance becomes a foreign word." And that is where my husband and I were when Margaret came into our lives. Margaret exploited our temporary weakness to her advantage.

How does an emotional affair start? According to www.allaboutlove.com (http://www.allaboutlove.com) : "Emotional infidelity often starts when you share intimate details of your life with a person other than your spouse..." "...that person makes you feel special and makes you feel good. You begin to open up more and more and you like the feeling you have when you are with them. You crave the emotional intamacy you recieive from that person..." "Before you know it, you are sharing the deepest, intimate details of your marriage." That pretty much describes what was going on with Margaret and my husband. First she hooked him and then she broke down every wall he threw in front of her (this will be explained later). Margaret was tenacious. Margaret Lang decided she liked my husband, he became her ideal, and then, eventually, she became his ideal.

[not dazed or confused]

Another point about emotional infidelity (the "Brangelina" type) from Michael J. Formica, blogs.psycologytoday.com September 7, 2008:

"Emotional infidelity creates "some degree of emotional unavailability on the part of one partner" that affects the quality of the relationship. It's "a crush that is reciprocated, but not demonstrably acted upon," and it is "usually a matter of opportunity."

"Emotional inifelity is an expression of either need or desire to absent oneself from one's primary relationship."

"Emotional infidelity leaves the other partner experiencing all the hurt, anger and sense of rejection assoctiated with an affair."

Me: In fact, an emotional affair is much worse than a full-blown, balls-out sexual affair in that there is nothing tangible to become angry about. There is nothing there that can be corrected without seeming shrewish. "She's just a friend." "If Margaret were a guy, no one would even notice." "He's just like a brother to me." "She needs a friend." "I need him." Etc., etc.

I knew my husband had a crush on Margaret. And then the crush turned into something ugly. My husband, rather than just having a "crush" ended up lodging his head up Margaret's butt. What I didn't know, and what I would not find out until much later, was that Margaret Lang had bent over at the waist, lubbed up, and spread her cheeks for a much easier insertion. And the entire time she was lubbing up, she was in my home, in my life, attending my church with me and my family, hanging out with my friends, bringing her children to my home and suckling at my breast for love, kindness, support and friendship. The entire time she was in my home, she was sliding her hand down my husband's pants. Because she needed.

Margaret knew where my husband and I were in our life. Margaret knew what I had gone through, and what I continued to go through. Margaret knew what she was doing because she behaved and acted differently when she was around my husband when I was not around. She played with him. She giggled with him. She shared secret marital information with him. She talked to him about me--condescendingly. Margaret knew what she was doing because she had done this before--on several occasions--and she had gained just the right kind of experience to be successful.

[not dazed or confused]

I have read the "Al Lang Story" a couple of times. The first time I read it--perused it actually--was when Margaret Lang told me it existed shortly after we met her. The simularities between my story and "The Al Lang Story" are so striking it's eerie. Unfortunately, what Al Lang chose to leave out of his story is laughable and downright dishonest and deceptive. Al Lang story was borne from jealous rage. He didn't care about the truth--he wanted revenge.

When Margaret came into my life, and the life of my family, we were down--just like as she inserted herseld in the Baltimore family's life when they were down (because of the wife's illness). Margaret, once she shared with us how miserable she was in her marriage, called my husband constantly--even while he was at work and trying to get our own business up and running--just like she did with the married man in Baltimore. Margaret shared intimate and personal details of her life and marriage with my husband--just like she did with married man in Baltimore. Margaret sought out the married man in Baltimore for help--just like she sought out my husband for help. Margaret demanded as much of my husband's attention as she could get without consideration for my husband, for his family, or for the business he was trying to establish--just like she did with the married man in Baltimore. Margaret made it clear to my husband that she needed him--just like she made it clear with the married man in Baltimore that she needed him. Margaret played around with my husband--laughing, telling jokes, giggling with him, chasing him around (literally), wrestling with him (literally and very embarrassing), following him around both when he was at work and when he was at home (Margaret was tenacious and ruthless with her neediness--my husband didn't have any time to himelf... no time to think.... no time to regenerate... she was at him constantly--and right under my nose because my husband was just like a brother" to her), sharing secrets, confiding in him (even about her marital sex life), becoming his confidante, making him her ally, being his ally, etc--just like she did with the married man in Baltimore. Margaret Lang also constantly stroked my husband's ego--"you're so handsome," "you're such a hard worker," "you are so good at everything you do," "you deserve so mych better," "I can take better care of you," and then, finally, with precious, tear-filled eyes and delicately quivering chin "I need you soooo much," "I want to be with you," "we should just run away together," "I can't live without you," "I'm so afraid your wife is going to find out about us and kill you..." etc... (see above posts concerning emotional infidelity).

[not dazed or confused]

In addition to all I have just posted, Margaret also used other tactics so that my husband would notice her. She would walk around our house, go to our church, etc with low-cut, tight-fitting clothing to better show off her exercise-obsessed, breast-enlarged, tummy-tucked, thigh-liposucted, Botoxed self. Most of the time Margaret would not even wear a bra (Margaret claimed wearing a bra was uncomfortable, and besides why should she cover up her expensive, rock-hard, fake breasts and jutting nipples?), or if she was wearing a bra it was very common for her to remove that bra right in front of my husband (remember--my husband was "just like a brother" to Margaret--not that I would ever take my bra off in front of my own brothers... but maybe in her family???). Also, when Margaret had her tummy-tuck (most likely in anticipation of her affair with my hyusband so she could look her physical best--was this just a coincidence that she recieved this particular surgery once she discovered she had "feelings" for my husband? I think not... and also, how does one "discover" feelings???), her plastic surgeon pulled the loose, post-pregnancy skin up so that her pubic line was just about where her belly button used to be, so that when she wore her tight, low-rise jeans and her low-cut, tight, midriff-baring shirts, her shaved pubic line would show about one inch above her jeans. I brought this to her attention a few times and she would tug her short shirt down only to have it rise again so that we could all bear witness to her shaved pubic hairs (I just gave up bringing this to her attention). Plus, Margaret didn't feel in the least inhibited about announcing to everyone when she wasn't wearing underwear. Basically, Margaret Lang did everything she possibly could to seduce both of these men--with the exception of getting naked and lying down in front of them with legs spread wide open (ok... I'm being a little catty now... maybe she didn't think this was classy enough???). I actually get physically ill when I think of everthing she was doing and saying in front of me and my family when she had her hand down my husband's pants the whole time... not to mention her behavior in front of her own children. What kind of sick, twisted mind comes up with this stuff?

[not dazed or confused]

Margaret Rose Hadley Lang preyed on both of these men--and their families--when both these men and their families were down (and possibly the poor Tae Kwon Do instructor and the carny man). Margaret preyed on these men when their wives and their families needed them the most. Margaret used everything she could to make herself front and center in these men's lives by her constant neediness, her constant phone and physical contact, her tear-filled eyes, her quivering chin, her weepiness, her clinginess, her woe-is-me-ness and her someone-please-save-me-ness. I know this because I witnessed all of this, and because Margaret used many of these very same tactics on me, my duagher, my graddaughter, and our friends so that she could gain just the right sympathy, empathy and support she needed. The only difference is, Margaret used her "other" charms to hook the husbands even further (the ridiculous and sophmoric bird with a broken wing bull crap and her obsession with her pysical appearance). I am certain, without any doubt, that if either of these men (or any of these men--there are four of them now) and their families had been at the top of their 'game,' Margaret's manipulative neediness would have just been ignored, dismissed or thought of as ridiculous--just as it should have been. But, unfortunately for both my family and the family in Baltimore, and possibly for the Tae Kwon Do instuctor's family and for the carny man and his long-time girlfriend, we weren't at the top of our 'game.'

[not dazed or confused]

My mother recently asked me if I was throwing stones at the adulteress even though I have sinned myself. I thought about that, and I don't think that is what I am doing. On the contrary, I embraced Margaret Lang when she came into our lives even though I knew of her adulteress past. And that is what I thought it was--her past. I had no idea that Margaret did not "go and sin no more," and I had no idea that Margaret had made adultery with married men her lifestyle. What does the bible say about that? What do we do with the adulteress who continues her "sin" over and over? Do we allow these people into our homes as Christ would want us to? Do we love these people as we are told to "love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them witout expecting to get anything back (including, it seems our husbands)?" Do we support these people, build these people up and offer our homes to these people? Should we be "merciful, just as our Father is merciful?" Unfortunately, and I would not learn this till later, when I offered my love, friendship and support to Margaret Lang, she was NOT the adulteress who left the presence of Jesus and "sinned no more." Margaret Lang was the wolf that we have been sent "in the midst of," and I did not heed the warning to be "wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove" (remember... I had been anethesized as a result of taking anti-depressants so my "wise as a serpent" just wasn't working). Margaret Lang was the person who called herself my "sister," but who was "sexually immoral" and whom we were warned "with such a man do not eat" (and I'm sure that means "with such a woman do not eat" as well).

I have tried to live my life the way Jesus would want me. I have followed the "here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get..." All of this advice is very confusing for me. How are we to know when someone claims to be a "believer" but who behaves like they are an "unbeliever?" How can we "love" and yet "not be yoked together with the unbelievers?" With Margaret in my home, my "house was divided against itself," and "that house cannot stand." Margaret divided my home. Margaret Lang pursued my husband right under my nose and in my own home. What kind of person does this? Margaret is "as a well pours out its water, so she pours out her wickedness. Violence and destruction resound in her; her sickness and wounds are ever before me...." "Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil..."

Can Satan use someone who professes to be a Godly person?

[not dazed or confused]

A lot of people have asked me why I even kept Margaret in my life. My sister--who met Margaret only once--asked me why I even let her in my home when she found out about Marhgaret's previous affairs and her and her husband's dishonest, full-of-lies and half-truths lawsuit against GGWO. Another friend (actually someone we have taken under our wing--I have a tendency to do that--who is an on again/off again recovering addict) told me that Margaret was after my husband and that Margaret was nothing but a "skank," and that he would know because he had "been around a lot of skanks in his life." Another friend, after Margaret kicked off her shoes in the backseat of his car, placed her feet on the console between my husband and this friend and announced that she was not wearing any underwear under her very short skirt, said he "never wanted to be in the same room with that woman again." He also told us that he had met women like Margaret before, and that they were nothing but trouble. I have a friend who lives in Denmark and who came and visited us the first Thanksgiving we knew Margaret (please note: Margaret Lang has destroyed two of my Thanksgivings and at least one Christmas with her lies and her manipulation), and within an hour of meeting her, labeled Margaret an emotional predator and an emotional vampire (this is the friend who has just recieved her masters in mental health)--my friend didn't like Margaret from the first 15 minutes she spent with. Even my daughter--who tolerated and even 'liked' Margaret said she was nothing but a "robot." These descriptions are just the tip of the iceberg--there were so many other people in my life (who I have known a long time) who merely tolerated Margaret who came to me after I kicked Margaret out of my life to tell me how the really felt about her--nothing good. I defended Margaret over and over and over to so many people while she was in my life. Margaret could not have found a more loyal friend. I am embarassed that I allowed her to fool me the way she did.

[not dazed or confused]

Also, when I have been asked why I kept Margaret in my life this is what I have said because this is the way I felt when Margaret was in my life: I am hardwired to want to believe that all people are good regardless of the mistakes they have made in their past. I knew Margaret--she was constantly miserable and needy, and, because I have known my husband for 25 years, I know that he has never wanted anything to do with these kind of people--he has always shrugged them off to my care. There was very little in Margaret's character that would have attracted my husband (I failed to note that perhaps all men are inherently shallow when a tall, blond, exercise-obsessed, fake-breasted, thigh-liposucted, tummy-tucked, Botoxed, tooth veneered needy and manipulative woman throws themselves at them--poor men). Also, after listening to Margaret about the kind of man she wanted and/or desired, and because I have known my husband for 25 years, I knew that she would never want a man like my husband. I had no idea that Margaret's search for the "ideal" would render her blind to who my husband was. And I had no idea that Margaret's extensive plastic surgery and constant come-ons would render my husband blind to who she really was (and to his absolute shame, embarrassment, self-loathing and humiliation, he sees this very clearly now). My husband and Margaret were two people who were being dishonest to themselves and to each other about who they were themselves and to who the other person was. Although I have always known (because of Margaret's behavior and what she has told me about her and her husband's relationship) that both Margaret and her husband have spent their entire marriage being dishonest with themselves and to each other, I have never known my husband to be like that--I had no idea it was even in his character (obviously Margaret has the ability to bring out both the stupid and the ugly in the men she throws herself at).

My marriage was being destroyed as a result of the purest stupidity I have ever encountered in my life. It would be funny if it were not so tragic.

[not dazed or confused]

Here is the letter I sent my husband shortly after I found out exactly what was going on between him and Margaret:

"When we met Margaret you were a good man who had found his path with God with a marriage that was blessed by God. We were not on a 'high' at that time due to the pressures of having our daughter and granddaughter live with us along with all the other things we do. I know you found her attractive--she is attractive--certainly more attractive than me. When we showed Margaret our brand of kindness and caring, she threw herself at us with abandon. She loved what we had, and she wanted that to. I thought she just wnated what we had with someone else. She was a miserable and unhappy person. She cried every day, she would tell me (and possibly you) how much she wanted to die, how painful it was to take her next breathe--how could any caring, loving Christian turn their backs on such a creature? And because I have that 'rescue people' personality, I took her under my wing, I consoled her, I comforted her, and I supported her through her separation with Al.

She gained my trust through her speech. I saw her deceit with Al, but I thought her deceit was only directed at Al because of his paranoia, and I forgave her for that. I could see your friendship with Margaret developing, and when we talked aobut it you assured me you had no feelings for her, if she were a guy no one would notice, she thought of you as a brother, etc. And I believed you because of my deep faith in you. The foundation of our marriage was so strong, and our love for each other was rich, I didn't feel I should be so disturbed by this. Being the 'intuiter,' I couldn't lay those feelings to rest. It was in the summer of 2007 that I began my spiral into depression (and, no, I wasn't 'depressed' prior to this, I was upset and frustrated with my relationship problems with my daughter which is much different than being depressed, and these things just happen to be a very normal life event).

The more my depression spiraled out of control because of your 'friendship' with Margaret (which is what I know now but didn't know then), the more we forgot to communicate, and the more Margaret leeched on to you. My sorrowfulness was so deep it tore my soul apart. This is when I nearly drank myself to death and cut myself, and this is when I continued to get drunk and cry, be disrespectful to you and be truly pitiful. But since my faith in you, and my trust in Margaret was so profound, I believed that is was my own horrible imagination and that scared me and made my depression worse. I knew what all my faults were--overweight, chronic Achilles tendonitis, back issues, etc--and I was so paralyzed with fear that I couldn't breath and couldn't function. I wanted so badly to help myself address those faults, but some days I felt nearly comatose and powerless and helpless. The more I couldn't function, the more frustrated you became with me, and the more Margaret became available to 'help' (she was very cunning that way). I was a mess, and I hid myself from 'reality' (you and Margaret continued to assure me that you were only 'brother and sister') because I believed I was living in a 'false' reality and I was scared. I didn't like being that mess, but I didn't know how to make it stop.

[not dazed or confused]

The Letter continued:

I don't remember what it was that finally made me want to start taking steps to climb out of the mess I was in. Getting my anti-depressants cut in half was a great help, and it helped me take my ability to function to a higher level. Nonetheless, I was still not back to being me. Each day I worked on something that I had not been able to work on the day before. And I was proud of myself. But I was still very angry with you for not being there for me as a husband should, but I thought it was because you were angry at me for being so unkind to you (the passive agressiveness, etc). All through this, I still held firm to my faith in both you and Margaret.

I still didn't understand what was going on till 'that morning' when Margaret called to tell me you were not crazy and why. The brought me to my knees with a sheer sense of loss and betrayal. I am sorry I called you crazy. Margaret is a better liar than either your or I could ever be. The depth of her deception was staggering. I reacted in anger--what other way could I have reacted? Did she truly believe I would envelope her into my spirtual and loving arms, pat her on the back and tell her everything was OK like she was so accustomed to me doing? The night before this you asked how many pieces of the puzzle I needed. Margaret finally gave the piece that finished the puzzed, and it was staggering.

I could go on and on about how much I loved both you and Margaret, and how much I trusted both of you to love me back with the same pureness, and I could go on and on about everything that I have done for Margaret and her kids, etc., and how often everyong warned me about the 'emptiness' and 'chaos' of Margaret, but that is not necessary. I think you understand. My heart is sometimes bigger than my brain. Me belief in people is stronger than what is reality. I am not going to berate myself for being 'stupid,' because I truly felt I was doing God's work by helping Margaret and her kids, and I truly believed that she loved me so much that she would never do anything to hurt me. I don't feel stupid. I feel loving and kind and caring and compassionate, because that is who I am. God sorts things out--I don't need to.

I don't really know what path God has intended for me. My faith in God has been strengthedned through all this, and I know He will not allow my suffering to have been in vain. It is only though His grace and His love that I am able to function. It is He who will give me peace in my heart. God gave me my daughter back--and she has been an absolute lifesaver through all this--and He gave me more friends then I believed I even had. Even our anst-filled teenage granddaughter has filled my heart with love and caring and help. My friends have all gathered around me through this storm, and they have made themselves available to me if I need anything (although I won't be asking any married or 'steady' men to help me with anything without the presence of their significatn other)."

[not dazed or confused]

The Letter cont.

"I've never been a needy, clingy, leechy person or a person prone to the dramatic (throwing drinks at you, yelling at you, pummeling you, etc.). With the exception of the times I stumbled through my life, and with the exception of the past two years, I have always been a strong person and an independent woman. I intend to become even stronger and more independent with a Godly, prayer-filled tenacity. I have not abandoned God, and He has not abandoned me. He is walking right beside me. I have been wandering in the desert for two years, and I have finally discovered the way out--and that way out is for me to put all my faith and trust in the one entity who is truly worthy and good--God. God is not my part-time life partner. God has become my full-time life partner, and for that I thank and praise Him with all my heart.

I know the road is going to be painful, and sometimes unbearable. I asked Judy" (my husband's and my 'marriage' counselor) "for a timetable yesterday, and she could not provide me with one--she says each person is different. I pray that my path will be short because I want my life to continue outside the desert."

And that was that. I did not sign the letter--there really wasn't any need to sign it.

Please note: I didn't even over-react in my kiss-off letter to my husband. I didn't even 'yell and scream.' What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I feel the need to be constantly 'good?' It's not as if 'good' has done me any favors. I was 'good' to Margaret. I was 'good' to Margaret's children. I was 'good' to Margaret's family. I was 'good' to my husband. Where was I? Anethesized and with absolutely no working internal emergency broadcast system, that's where.

Also, notice in the letter that I remained "self-blaming." It must have been something I did... how weird is that? I also noted in the letter that "Margaret finally gave me the piece" (referring to puzzle pieces) "that finished the puzzle, and it was staggering." Unfortunately, that wasn't the only piece of the puzzle that was thrown my way. The puzzle turned out to be multi-dimensional, and the more I learned and the more I was able to comprehend (because, initially, understanding what was going on was completely beyond my comprehension), the uglier the pieces became. The more I learned, the more twisted and perverted my image of Margaret and her 'sickness' became.

[not dazed or confused]

After I met Margaret, I was hoping, through our friendship, that Margaret and I could help each other through our difficult times—her through her difficult separation with her husband, and me with my difficulties with my daughter. Although I helped Margaret in numerous ways, she turned out to be absolutely no help to me. Margaret claimed she did not want to “get in the middle” of my problems with my daughter, and I respected her boundaries. Unfortunately, as I was to learn about all narcissists (please see: http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx36.htm), Margaret believed that she was “entitled to having her needs” met by me and my family, and she felt, from the very beginning, that our needs and our problems were far less important than her own needs and problems to the point where she actually turned her back on what our needs and problems were.

As far as Margaret was concerned, the needs and problems of others are simply inconsequential and superfluous when compared with her own even though her own problems are of her own making. We were also to discover that Margaret felt she was entitled to be nurtured and to be taken care of. My going through the hell of having a child addicted to drugs was far less important to Margareat than Margaret’s need for understanding, admiration, attention, and nurturing. Margaret, because she is so full of emptiness, loneliness, unhappiness, misery and despair, brought nothing but emotional chaos, darkness and even more depression to my life and to my family’s lives. Margaret Lang literally sucked the emotional life out of my husband when I needed him the most, and she continued down that path even when she saw the devastation her behavior was causing. Unfortunately, my husband did nothing to stop her because he was blinded by the woefulness of this wounded bird with a broken wing, and because he is a ‘fixer.’ My husband became determined to fix Margaret and to “save her.” Margaret refused to have anything to do with my problems, and the entire time she pretended to even listen she was slowly sharpening the stake that she would use to drive through the heart of my marriage and my life.

Athough my husband’s and my marriage was not at an all time high when we met Margaret, I felt when the difficulties with my daughter were resolved, we would go back to being the way we had been during our entire time together (23 years by the time we met Margaret). From what I have read in the “Al Lang Story,” the married man from Baltimore and his wife’s marriage was not on the highest ground when Margaret inserted herself into their life and marriage either. There seemed to be a great deal going on in the Baltimore family's life by the time Margaret became a more prominent fixture in their lives. When Satan sees a door open in a marriage, he sends in his best to create as much havoc and misery as possible, and Margaret had proven, with the Baltimore man's marriage and with her own marriage, that she could do an excellent job for Him. For Margaret, it seemed my marriage became a great opportunity for her to add to her resume.’

Helping people is what God wants us to do, but God also wants us to be wise, and neither I nor my husband were being wise when we allowed Margaret into our life. On the contrary, we were foolish for allowing Margaret into our lives, and as a result of this foolishness, we have both been greatly harmed in numerous ways. Because Margaret made it so painfully apparent that she needed help, I invited her into my life, my home, my family, my friendships, my church, and, unfortunately, my marriage. Both my husband and I have always been the type of people who “want to trust and assume the best in other people,” and we believed that when “someone tells us something, the other person is telling the truth.” Neither my husband nor I recognized Margaret’s manipulation as she was doing it because “manipulation violates our basic assumptions about how people should behave,” and we didn’t expect it because Margaret was engaging in “covert aggression,” as she was slowly trying “gain power over us” in ways that neither one of us were able to detect.

Margaret purposely and duplicitously, and under the guise of a “he’s just like a brother to me” claim about my husband, inserted herself right in between my husband and me knowing that I was already emotionally exhausted because of what I had been going through with my daughter and all the other assorted crises that we had weathered After my husband had worked at the home Margaret was employed for only a few weeks, she targeted him as her savior because they “got along so well.” Since the married man in Baltimore, the Tae Kwan Do instructor, Avery the carny man, and her husband had failed to save her, my husband became the man she was convinced could do the job, and with whom she could live happily ever after. Margaret presented herself as a sweet, caring and vulnerable person, and Margaret made it very apparent—especially to my husband—that she needed to be rescued.
Unbeknownst to both my husband (at least in the beginning) and me, Margaret’s full-time job became convincing my husband that he, and only he, could save her from her life of emptiness, misery and unhappiness—just as she had done with the married man in Baltimore. Margaret worked on my husband for over a year and half, and the entire time she was working on him, she was practically living in my home so that I could help her, and take care of both her and her children in numerous ways with my time, my support, my time, my kindness, my time, my goodness, and more and more of my time. Although Margaret portrayed herself as the protagonist in her very own “delicate damsel in distress” fantasy, she was actually the antagonist and she worked tirelessly to make my husband her knight in shining armor. Margaret has proven, once again, that she is the perpetual antagonist in everyone else’s stories except her own.

[not dazed or confused]

Within weeks of meeting Margaret, she brought my husband into the problems of her own marriage in order, we now believe, to get his understanding and acceptance of her. Margaret approached my husband with tear-filled eyes and with quivering chin while he was working and while they were alone in the home she was employed, and she told him her story of true love with the married man in Baltimore and their tragic separation. According to what I have read about manipulators, “one of the easiest ways to spot an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that is generally of the ‘hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me’ variety.” My husband did not understand why Margaret told tell him this story as he did not feel he knew her well enough and it made him feel uncomfortable. When my husband got home that day, he told me what Margaret had told him, and how uncomfortable it made him feel. Later that day, Margaret called to tell me the same story, and I tried to be as empathetic as possible even though I was unhappy to hear that she had behaved so horribly. Neither my husband nor I understood why Margaret felt it was important to tell either of us this story, and neither of us understood why she made the debacle sound like a dramatic Romeo and Juliet love affair gone bad when it was nothing but ugly adultery.


Regardless, Margaret was successful at “hooking” us with this story, and she was successful at getting us both to believe that she was “very sensitive, emotionally," and that she was "open and maybe a little vulnerable.” We were to eventually learn, however, that as an emotional manipulator, Margaret was “about as vulnerable as a rabid pit bull.”

When Margaret told us about her past affairs, I tried, as a friend, to be empathetic with her even though I was disgusted, and even though I have never had any respect or tolerance for this type of behavior. I also started sharing with her, over time so as to not hurt her feelings, both my husbands and my views (and we did share the same views about this before my husband wandered down the slippery slope of adultery himself) about adultery, and I thought, because of her previous disastrous experiences with adultery, that she agreed with us. I was horribly wrong. I told Margaret that adultery is the lowest form of dishonesty and cowardice, and I told her that the “it was an accident, and we didn’t mean for ‘it’ to happen” claims were ridiculous because these things are always an act of will, and we all, including Margaret, possess the gift of free will. Also, the “ooops—I accidentally fell on your husband’s penis,” or the “ooops—my penis accidentally fell into another woman’s vagina” claims were ridiculous and sophomoric. I realize now that I was being way too subtle with Margaret. I was, unfortunately, to kind and diplomatic with her when we discussed her previous ugly experiences with adultery. Adultery, it seems, had simply become a way of life for Margaret, and she embraced that type of relationship with both her heart and soul simply because she has consistently chosen to make decisions based on how she feels rather than what she knows. Feelings can often be deceiving, and Margaret should have been well aware of that fact by this time in her life—especially considering her past experiences.

From the time Margaret told us about her tragic affair with the married man from Baltimore and her Tae Kwon Doe instructor and “hooked” us, she no longer felt the need to hide her perpetual self-pity and woe-is-me-ness from us. Margaret repeatedly claimed she “just wanted to die,” or that she was so distraught for one reason or another that she didn’t want to “take another breath,” and she claimed, over and over, that it was her unhappy marriage that made her feel this way. Although I kept waiting for this to change after she left her husband (because she claimed it was her marriage that was making her so unhappy), her misery and emptiness stayed the same. Since her misery with life did not change after she left Al, that meant her problems weren’t with Al or her marriage—it meant that Margaret’s problems were and always had been Margaret. I should have realized something more was wrong from the very beginning because I have always known that the real problems lie with the cheater, and not with the cheated-on. The cheater is the person who has the problems with honesty, responsibility, loyalty and commitment—not the other way around. Further evidence that the problems in the Lang marriage were all Margaret’s doing, was her inappropriate behavior with my husband (a repeat of the married Baltimore man, the instructor and Avery the carny guy) even when Al was no longer in the picture. Margaret no longer has anyone to blame for any and every emotional crises in her life except herself.

Margaret bonded herself to us with her sadness, her loneliness, her misery, and her marital hardships in which she portrayed herself as the victim of her husband’s monstrosity. Both my husband and I now know the truth, and that truth is that Al is not a monster. On the contrary, Al has been the perpetual victim of Margaret’s emotional instability. Al is a long-suffering husband who happens to be in love with a woman who doesn’t have the first clue how to accept him the way he is, or love him the way he needs to be loved because people like Margaret base their love on “need” rather than sharing, honesty an intimacy. My husband and I both met Margaret’s husband, Al, and found that he was an OK and likeable guy. He wasn’t perfect, but none of us are. Unfortunately, Margaret worked tenaciously on both me and my husband to prove that Al was not an OK guy, and she convinced both of us that she just wanted a way out of her marriage because Al was such a horrible husband. Margaret soon learned, either consciously or unconsciously, what ‘buttons’ to push on both my husband and me.

Margaret called both of us several times a day to talk about her problems—specifically about the problems with her marriage and with her husband. She wanted us—especially my husband—to save her from her life of emptiness, unhappiness, misery and loneliness. Because of her misery, we took Margaret under our wing (my husband kept trying to pass her off to me because she made him feel uncomfortable, but, unfortunately, I laughed this off), and we invited her AND her children AND the rest of her family into our home, our family, our friendships and our life. In the beginning, I tried to get Margaret to see her husband differently, and I tried to get her to look at him with more understanding and patience especially considering what he had gone through in their marriage (the deception, the lies, the adultery, etc). But, eventually, Margaret wore both my husband and I down (just as she had, most likely, as this is her modus operandi, worn the married man from Baltimore down) and we began, very unwisely and unfairly, to see Al through her eyes. We were both very wrong.

Only a few months into our relationship with her, Margaret assured me that she had no romantic interest in my husband, she claimed that he was “just like a brother to her,” and that he reminded her “so much of her brother Patrick” with whom she had been very close when she was growing up. Margaret made this claim right after she attempted to, very inappropriately, physically wrestle with my husband at a gathering of friends and neighbors because she claimed she could “beat him.” We were all embarrassed by her behavior—especially my husband—but we let it ‘slide’ because we felt Margaret just lacked proper social skills. Also, my husband and I both believed, in the beginning, that Margaret just didn’t fully understand or comprehend that there should be specific boundaries between her and any married man, and that she was, especially as a Christian woman, responsible for respecting those boundaries just as much as a married man is expected to maintain his boundaries with other women, and just as my husband had been maintaining his boundaries with other women faithfully for 23 years. Margaret’s “he’s just like a brother” claim should have alarmed me because she had earlier claimed that the married man from Balrimore was “just like a brother” to her as well. Margaret’s jump from “he’s just like a brother to me” to committing adultery with that “brother” is something that she should really consider exploring in the office of a good therapist.

By the time Margaret assured me she had no romantic interest in my husband, she had already introduced us to her children, and all of them were spending a great deal of time at our home and with my family, our friends and with our neighbors. They had even started attending our church with us. Margaret seemed genuine (I had no reason to suspect otherwise), and since she had brought her children into our home and family, and since I had become bonded to those children, I did not feel I had any reason to doubt her motives. I felt that holding what she had done in her past against her was being unfairly judgmental. No loving, responsible mother would ever drag her children through any sordid affair or inappropriate relationship with the husband of the woman who was helping her in countless ways, who was supporting her through her separation with her husband, who was offering both her and her children unconditional friendship, kindness and encouragement, who was helping her with her children, and with whom those children had bonded with and learned to respect and love. Right?

I intuited something, but I ignored my intuition at my own peril. Because of my faith and trust in both Margaret and my husband, and because of her insistence that my husband was “just like a brother” to her, I ignored both my intuition and her unacceptable shenanigans (which were numerous). If Margaret were to give this entire debacle any serious, moral and self-analytical thought, she would be able to determine when and why her behavior with my husband was unacceptable. Unfortunately, Margaret does not possess the ability of self-examination, self-reflection or, unfortunately, self-correction.

[not dazed or confused]

With persuasive words she led him astray;

she seduced him with her smooth talk.

All at once he followed her

like an ox going to the slaughter,

like a deer stepping into a noose

till an arrow pierces his liver,

like a bird darting into a snare,

little knowing it will cost him his life. (Proverbs 7:21-23)

I re-read the “Al Lang Story” after ‘Hurricane Margaret’ whipped through my life, and I found many similarities between that situation and mine and my husbands. After reading “The Al Lang Story” again, I did some research on emotional infidelity and women who prey on married men, and Margaret easily fits both profiles. Margaret enjoys and even prefers the company of married men because her comfort level with married men is greater than with single men, and since Margaret has very low self-esteem that comfort level is very important to her. Married men are safe, and Margaret doesn’t have to worry about “putting herself out there,” so she doesn’t have to endure rejection, or game-playing or any other of the complications that come with a normal relationship between two single people. Also, married men are often more confident, secure and happy than they were when they were single, and they “are often more accessible and communicative.” My husband treated and interacted with Margaret just like he has always treated and interacted with any of our female clients. Unfortunately, Margaret misunderstood my husband’s treatment of her, and she assumed this type of interaction was some kind of ‘courtship’ or ‘come-on,’ so she threw herself at him emotionally with ridiculous and embarrassing abandon.

Margaret jokes around with married men, she innocently flirts with them and she is playful with married men. Basically, although the married man may not be aware of it, Margaret is actually courting him, because, once again, friendship with a married man is foreplay for her. Once a relationship has been established with a married man, Margaret embraces the “friendship” type of emotional infidelity while claiming the married man is just “like a brother” to her. Since an innocent friendship is never enough for Margaret because of her perpetual emptiness, and because she has established an emotional bond with her target, she eventually crosses the line as the innocent talk and banter turns to discussing even more personal issues and personal problems with the married man hoping that he will save her and make her happy. Margaret eventually convinces the man that there is nothing wrong with discussing certain personal issues that should only be discussed between a husband and a wife. Because of Margaret’s neediness and emptiness, she strives to change the deceptively innocent friendship type of emotional infidelity into the family-destroying falling in love type of emotional infidelity all the while claiming she “didn’t mean for this to happen.” This type of behavior, as Margaret learned from her previous experiences with adultery, that the development of a grotesque and family-destroying emotional bond with that married man, and it always ends up being really ugly. Unfortunately, Margaret had failed to recognize the correlation between adultery with a married man (or any man) and ugly, so she has allowed this type of behavior to become her modus operandi. Margaret Lang, unfortunately for her family, now has an official reputation as an adulteress who preys on married men, and I feel sorry for any other couple she befriends. Margaret has proven that the quote “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” is absolutely true—at least in her life.

Because neither our marriage nor the married man from Baltimore's marriage were at the strongest point they should have been when Margaret started wreaking her special brand of havoc, and because our respective boundaries had been weakened for various reasons, this allowed Margaret access into the sacredness of each marriage via her special “he’s just like a brother to me” communication skills. In the beginning of our friendship with Margaret, my husband would come home and tell me some of the things Margaret would say to him that made him feel uncomfortable, and he would tell me that he felt she was paying too much attention to him (the first signs of her overwhelming neediness and an inappropriate emotional connection with a married man). I just shrugged all of this information off because my husband’s and my marriage was strong, we were very much in love with each other, and my husband had never been morally ambiguous before or during our marriage.

Because Margaret’s attention made my husband uncomfortable, he brought her home to me hoping that her fixation on him would shift to me. But Margaret had already decided she liked my husband, and that he was “just like a brother” to her, so she went after him with sickly and grotesque panache—just as she did with the married man in Baltimore. Margaret worked tirelessly to break down my husband’s boundaries and the boundaries in our marriage (just like she did with the married man in Baltimore and his marriage), and even though she saw the destruction the breakdown of those boundaries was causing, she continued her seduction of him—just like she did with the married man in Baltimore—because she was absolutely sure that he would be able to save her, fill her emptiness and make her happy. Margaret gives absolutely no regard to the consequences of her actions.

After Margaret was finally out of our lives, and even though my husband was aware of Margaret’s past adulteries, including her adultery with the married man from Baltimore and her and her husband's defaming lawsuit agaings GGWO and that married man, I highlighted some parts of the “Al Lang Story” and read those parts to my husband. My husband was alarmed, disgusted and ashamed of the depth and nonchalance of Margaret’s past immorality, her penchant for deception and duplicity, her emotional instability and her absolute and pure selfishness. In the “Al Lang Story,” Al pointed his finger directly at the married man from Baltimore as he described the problems with that particular person, GGWO and some of the church clergy, but he also, albeit unintentionally, screamed out a warning about Margaret—one that I did not heed when I originally read the story. Not only did I not heed that advice, I defended Margaret to everyone I met who saw through her and warned us about her. The only difference between our story and the adultery story in the "Al Lang Story," is that Margaret had better access to me then she did the other wife, and that is something both that married man and his wife should be very grateful and thankful for.

Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots?

Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil. (Jeremiah 13:23)


Not only does Margaret really, really, really like married men, she is also the poster queen for emotional infidelity. Because Margaret lacks self-esteem, inner strength and a solid identity, she searches for someone in her life who she believes is the ideal person who will make her feel special, who will make her feel good about her, and who will make her feel adored and perfect. Since Margaret lacks her “own world,” she aspires to make the world of her target “her world” in order to fill the emptiness in her life. According to the site marriage.typepad.com, emotional affairs start by “spending lots of time” with a member of the opposite sex. The two share their life’s stories with each other and they create memories thereby forging an emotional attachment. When this happens, the spouse or spouses of the “cheaters” are left in an emotional desert. In our case, my husband became emotionally unavailable to me because all his emotions were being spent to help Margaret fill her emptiness, and I was left in the desert.

Margaret learned early on in our relationship with her that her tear-filled eyes, I’m-so-lonely weepiness and a pathetically quivering chin could get both my husband and I to try to help her feel better about herself. Margaret was very adept at using that kind of manipulation. Emotional affairs of either type are not healthy or wholesome or good, and they are usually initiated by someone who is insecure, empty, weak, unhappy and selfish, and it is the people who engage in these types of affairs who should be pitied for the reasons they initiate the affair in the first place—Margaret should be pitied for the emptiness inside her that compels her to initiate her adulterous affairs, and my husband for having been too weak to tell her to get lost, and for not protecting and treasuring what had been his good marriage.

Both Margaret and my husband stood steadfast by their claim that they were “just friends.” While they were “just friends,” I was alone, and I no longer had a husband. Yes, we slept in the same bed every night, and we talked about what needed to be talked about (barely), but that is all. My husband could not understand why I became angry with him because of his emotional detachment from me, because, in his mind, they weren’t really doing anything bad or sinful. I began to feel that my anger and my hurt and sense of rejection were completely unreasonable. The more I thought I was being unreasonable, the angrier I became with myself for my jealousy and discomfort over something that was no more than a friendship. My husband commented that if Margaret were a man, their friendship would go unnoticed. I intuited some type of wrongness, but I had convinced myself that my intuition was misleading.

Trying to disentangle my husband from this emotionally exhausting web of “he’s just like a brother to me” chaos was more difficult than if I were to help him recover from a cocaine addiction. My husband became Margaret’s “human drug” with whom she could share all her thoughts and problems and stories and ideas with, and because of my continuing withdrawal from him as a result of his emotional bond to Margaret, she became his “human drug” as well. In the beginning it was my husband who would listen to Margaret patiently and kindly and make her feel understood and appreciated, and then, because of my withdrawal from him as a result of the initial friendship emotional infidelity, Margaret began to listen to him patiently and kindly to make him feel more understood and appreciated. Margaret used the very problems that she was causing in our marriage to further her adulterous behavior with my husband, and to insert herself even more solidly between us. Although listening to my husband, appreciating him and understanding him were all things I had been doing during our entire marriage, there was a lull in that attention during our family crisis when my attention was focused elsewhere, and that absence of attention only got worse when he and Margaret began their “we’re just friends” emotional affair.

Once Margaret discovered the married man she has seduced is just a normal person, and once she gets over her idealization of that man, she would have, without a doubt, eventually gone on to do the same to the married man in Baltimore and to my husband what she has done to Al. Regardless of how many times Margaret would promise she wouldn’t move on to find another man who was just “like a brother to her,” her record of emotional disconnection, neediness, dishonesty, duplicity and adultery tell the true story. No healthy relationship can be borne of lies, manipulation and deception. My husband could just as well have been any other man because any other man would have sufficed—Margaret simply needed someone, and my husband and I just happened to walk into her life at the wrong time, and she just happened to walk into our life at a really bad time. My husband is aware of this now, just as he has become aware of all aspects of Margaret’s true nature.

[not dazed or confused]

For the lips of an adulteress drip with honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil;
but in the end she is bitter as gall,
sharp as a double-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
her steps lead straight to the grave.
She gives no thought to the of life;
her paths are crooked, but she knows it not. (Prov. 5:3-6)

When Margaret had securely inserted herself into our lives, my husband, still feeling uncomfortable with her constant attention and neediness, tried to distance himself from her several times. Margaret, feeling rejected, would wait until they were alone and then pester and harass him with “why aren’t you talking to me,” and “are you mad at me” questions and "I need you, please don't be mad at me" nonsense. This behavior concerned my husband enough to talk to me about it--partially--he didn't tell me everything she was saying to him. Neither of us, because we felt she truly was the “sorrowful sparrow with the broken wing” that she portrayed herself to be, wanted to hurt her feelings. Unfortunately, at that time I didn’t feel there was anything to worry about because I had gained so much trust in Margaret, and that is what I told my husband. I didn’t realize that the attention my husband was referring to was the “the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.” Margaret’s unfortunate and miserable neediness and emptiness continued throughout our relationship with her, and, unfortunately, I believed she was simply going through a hard time because of her separation with her husband. I was not aware that her neediness and emptiness were signs of an possible underlying personality disorder, and that both my husband and I were unwittingly encouraging her manipulative tactics.

In the beginning of our relationship with her, and since Margaret’s husband worked from Friday night through Sunday evening, she began to spend nearly every weekend at our house with her children. During the week, she would drop by occasionally, but only after lying to her husband about where she was going. The more she came to our home, the more she wanted to be there. We included her in many of our own friend and family activities. Eventually, and with our help and support, Margaret decided to leave her husband, and we rented her one of our apartments in a building we had just purchased.

If Margaret was at her apartment by herself she would call me to find out what we were doing, or, towards the end, she would call my husband to get him to get me to call her to come to our home because she was so lonely. If she was at her apartment with her children, and I didn’t call to invite her to come over, she would have one of her children call to ask if they could come to our home. When she and her children were at our home, I entertained her children while Margaret would sit and joke around with my husband (she wanted to be able to 'court' him with as few interruptions as possible). I forgave Margaret for her neediness because I thought she and I shared a common goal for her to become a stronger and better person, and that she would eventually be able to be on her own without using us as a crutch. I was wrong.

We introduced Margaret to different people so that she could develop more relationships in her life, and my daughter and her boyfriend and others tried to get Margaret to go out with them to meet new people. Margaret was never interested in meeting new people because, I now realize, that would have taken her away from my husband. No matter how hard any of us tried (including my husband), Margaret was never going to get her own life because she wanted a life with myhusband. Margaret Lang, because of her incessant neediness and her desire to be saved from her pathetic misery, invaded almost every single moment of my husband’s and my time, just as she had done in married man from Baltimore’s life.

Margaret saw the goodness of my marriage, just as she saw the goodness in the married man from Baltimore's marriage, but that made no difference to her. Margaret very happily inserted herself right in between me and my husband just as she happily inserted herself right in between the man from Baltimore and his wife. Margaret, within weeks of working in the same house together with my husband, told him that they should be together because they got along so well, but my husband shrugged that statement off.


From the very beginning, Margaret started stroking my husband’s ego with fierce tenacity, and because I wasn’t focused on him at the time, he soaked it up like a sponge. She told him how handsome he was, she told him how good he was at everything he did, she told him how much she admired him, she told him how smart he was, and how hard he worked. Margaret was well aware of what she was doing because she never made these statements to my husband in front of me. Margaret behaved entirely different around my husband when I wasn’t there, and my husband, in retrospect, has admitted he witnessed her turning her feelings and emotions on and off at will, and that she treated him and talked to him differently when they were alone. My husband realizes now this should have alarmed him, but she had ‘hooked’ him, and he felt powerless to do anything. Margaret was so good at deception and duplicity, that I did not notice any of this, and I believed, with all my heart, that my husband was “just like a brother” to her just as she so often claimed.

It will save you also from the adulteress,
From the wayward wife with her seductive words,
Who has left the partner of her youth
And ignored the covenant she made before God.
For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirit of the dead.
None who go to her return or attain the paths of life. (Proverbs 2:16-19)

When Margaret discovered my husband was into motorcycles, she decided she wanted to learn to ride as well, so she asked him if he would teach her how to ride, so he taught her. She not only started to ride a motorcycle, she would talk passionately with him about riding. Margaret also bought my husband metro-sexual clothing, and this made me uncomfortable but I didn’t say anything because I thought I was being unreasonable. My husband’s always been a jeans and t-shirt guy, but evidently that didn’t fit into Margaret’s fantasy, so she bought him the type of clothing that would make them look better together when we all went out. Margaret also wanted him to be properly attired when they, eventually, would be together. The more Margaret stroked my husband’s ego, and the more she manipulated him with her constant neediness, her constant presence in our lives, with her weepy woe-is-me-ness, with her tear-filled please-just-save-me-ness, with her sorrowful loneliness and emptiness, by developing the same interests as his, and by always wearing low-cut and tight-fitting clothing to better accentuate her breast enlargements, her thigh liposuction and her tummy tuck, the stranger and crazier my husband became as his initial friendship and infatuation with her turned into something more ugly.

The more Margaret worked and manipulated the both my husband and I, the more we both lost our joy with life and our light-heartedness with each other, and the more we withdrew from each other and our traditional marital roles. Since I was not aware of all this behind-my-back stroking and manipulation, I had no idea why my husband was becoming a stranger to me, and the more of a stranger he became, the more angry, frustrated, bewildered, depressed and withdrawn I became. Margaret was using the common form of manipulation called “splitting.” “Splitting” is when the manipulator, even though he or she may not be consciously aware of what they are doing, works on two people to turn them against each other. Consequently, the more angry, frustrated, bewildered, depressed and withdrawn I became, the easier it became for Margaret to take up her role as my husband’s ally, his confidante, his special friend and his defender so that she could successfully “split” us. As my husband became less of a husband and more of a stranger and a monster, I —because of my anger, frustration, bewilderment and depression—became less of a wife. Since I had always been my husband’s emotional barometer as well as the heart and the engine in our marriage, when the smoothness of our marriage came to a grinding halt because I wasn’t performing my traditional and expected marital roles, my husband became even crazier, angrier and stranger. And Margaret sat innocently by as she watched all this craziness, unhappiness and chaos unfold in front of her, and she pretended she had nothing to do with any of it. Even while all of this was going on, Margaret would come to home nearly every single day, eat my food and then wipe her mouth and say "I have done nothing wrong."


Margaret had my husband (and, as a result, me) so entangled in her hyper-emotional web of chaos that was created by her emptiness, he no longer had the strength to be a husband, a father, a grandfather, a friend, a provider or to even be a man. Since my husband doesn’t possess the same moral ambiguity that Margaret has possessed all her life, the longer she worked on him and manipulated him the more physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted he became. Because of my husband’s lack of moral ambiguity, the inappropriate feelings he was developing for Margaret and the lying and deception that were required to walk down Margaret’s path “to the spirits of the dead,” he became a cruel, angry, joyless, self-centered, egotistical, cold, prideful, self-pitying, sarcastic, unthinking, confused, uncaring and unforgiving monster who eventually, because of his poor choices, began to lose his character, his integrity, his dignity, his common sense, his self-worth, and his self-respect. He became a pitiful shadow of the man I married. Unfortunately, that is what Margaret’s kind of love does to people, and that is what Margaret’s kind of love did to both the married man from Barltimore and to my husband because they did not “keep to a path far from her” and they did not heed the biblical advice to “not go near the door of her house,” and they both gave their “best strength to” her,and theirs and their family’s “years to one who is cruel.” (Proverbs 5:8-9)

Other than the terribly poor decision to allow Margaret into the center of our lives (remember—he brought her home to me to get her attention away from him), my husband began to make countless other poor decisions that spilled over into his work. He couldn’t think straight and his thoughts and actions were disconnected. He couldn’t remember anything—he couldn’t remember to call clients, he didn’t remember to bill clients, he would forget to take the correct tools with him to work, and he failed to order the correct materials, etc. Not only were we losing our marriage to this madness, we were also losing our livelihood. My husband had always been great at everything he did, but after Margaret started working on him, he became a failure at nearly everything he did. Because I did not understand what was happening to him and why he was being so crazy and strange, and because I did not know to what extent Margaret was working on him, my husband and I started to become enemies. And Margaret stood by patiently and watched as the fire of her chaos consumed both me and my husband and our marriage.

The more my husband and I withdrew from each other, the more frustrated each of us became with each other and we would both, unfortunately for us and our marriage, vent and complain to our friend, Margaret. The more we both vented and complained to Margaret—our friend—about each other, the more Margaret—our friend—used all this venting and complaining to manipulate the vulnerabilities in our marriage. Her ‘splitting” tactic became even more intense. When I would complain or vent about what was going on in my marriage to my friend Margaret, and tell her how I didn’t understand what was happening, she stated, on more than one occasion, that “you tell me your marriage has always been good so that is what I have to believe.” I never understood why she would make such a statement since she had witnessed and even commented on the goodness of our marriage. I now know that during all the chaos that was happening in our lives and in our marriage because of Margaret’s constant neediness, my husband told Margaret that he was “unhappy in his marriage.” Margaret, because of her great capacity for believing what she wants to believe, and for getting others to believe what she wants them to believe, had conveniently forgotten the goodness in our marriage that she, herself, had witnessed and commented on. And still, Margaret looked on as if she had nothing to do with the destruction around her. Margaret continued to eat, wipe her mouth and say "I have done nothing wrong."


Margaret used what I said about my husband to her in my anger and frustration to sympathize with my husband and convince him that he was married to someone who was obviously not his equal. Margaret, eventually, after working on my husband for nearly a year and a half, convinced him that she was his equal, and that together they would find true and everlasting happiness. Margaret did everything she could to manipulate my husband into a relationship with her except strip naked and lie down in front of him with her legs spread wide open. Both my husband and I were truly and securely buckled in on the “Crazy Margaret Express.” While all this was taking place, Margaret hovered over us like a vulture ready to devour the death of our marriage. And still, Margaret sat there innocently all the while pretending she had nothing to do with the destruction of a 25 year relationship and marriage.

[not dazed or confused]

Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses,

contrary to the doctrine which you have learned, and avoid them.

For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ,

but their own belly, and by

smooth words and flattering speech

deceive the hearts of the simple. (Romans 16:17)


At one point during all this chaos, in May 2008, I became so disgusted with what my life had become because of my husband’s craziness and strangeness and with what I believed was his absurd unrequited infatuation with Margaret, I decided to leave and go to Santa Fe, New Mexico for awhile. I had already looked into jobs and cheap places to stay. My husband and I, on the morning I left, got into another fight (before Margaret came into our lives, we rarely fought). While we were fighting, I looked at my husband and realized how small he had become, how ridiculously immature he sounded, how pathetically diminished he had become, and I was alarmed by how disgusted I was with him and with his behavior. I was tired of my husband’s ugliness, his selfishness, his disconnection from life and with his thick-headedness, I was tired of blaming everything on myself, and I wanted nothing more to do with any of it. While on the road, I received a phone call from Margaret, and I finally told her that I thought my husband was “in love” with her and that was why he was so crazy, and that I knew she was not in love with him. What I really wanted to tell Margaret was that I was tired of my husband walking around with his head up her ass, but I was, as usual, civil and remained, as usual, kind. She assured me that she would talk to him and “set things straight.” Margaret did go and talk to my husband that day, but rather than “setting things straight” as I had expected her do as my friend, she told him she was in love with him, but that they had to be strong and remain friends for my sake. Margaret had put her shoulder firmly on the door of our marriage, and by telling my husband she “loved” him, she was putting even more weight into breaking the door of marriage completely down.

Our counselor advised us that by telling my husband she loved him and that they would need to remain friends, Margaret created a “sexual tension” between the two of them that was extremely debilitating to my husband, to me and to our marriage. This ugly, grotesque sexual tension between them would be carried out over the next few months in front of me, our friends and both our families. In true Margaret fashion, all of this was done ‘accidentally on purpose’ so she could innocently explain and justify all this behavior with the notorious and sophomoric weepy “I didn’t mean for this happen” trash. Margaret is not a stupid woman, and she’d done this before in the Baltimore man's marriage, and she had decided to do the same thing in my marriage even though she was aware of the consequences. And still, Margaret Lang ate, she wiped her mouth, and she said "I have done nothing wrong."


Margaret never had any respect for our marriage from the very beginning of our relationship with her. Margaret never meant the “let’s just be friends” rhetoric—she knew what she wanted, and she went after it with desperation and with fake innocence because she just had to be saved. When I think back on everything that was said and done during this time by each of them, now knowing what had passed between them and when, I feel absolutely nauseated—I was literally physically ill for days when I found out. Their behavior was sick and twisted and soiled and grotesque, and it was/is truly beyond my comprehension. I don’t know how either of them could even look at themselves in a mirror without being disgusted with themselves and with each other. Normal, loving, caring and good people just don’t play those types of sick and twisted games, especially in front of their own families. I know who my husband was before Margaret came into our lives and before he embraced Satan and fell victim to her desire to overcome her own fears, loneliness, desperation, emptiness and hopelessness, and I know that he has never done anything like what he has done in his entire life. Until he met Margaret, deception and infidelity were foreign concepts to him. As soon as she told my husband she was in love with him, my husband began dancing with the devil, and it was truly a dance macabre.

Even though I had certain expectations when I returned from my ‘road trip’ (at my husband’s request), and because of Margaret’s “I love you too, but we have to be strong and remain friends” confession to my husband while I was away, things in our life only got worse. Since I did not know what had passed between my husband and Margaret on the day I left, and because nothing in our life was getting any better regardless of how hard I tried, I became even more withdrawn from my husband, and I started to fall even more out of love with him. I did not either like or respect him anymore. In hindsight, I do not know why I returned; I should just continued with my plan to go to Santa Fe because what was waiting for me back home was far worse than spending the money I needed to spend to get me away from the madness and chaos that had permeated my life and my marriage as a result of Margaret’s perpetual and exhausting manipulation to get someone to meet her needs, and to get us—especially my husband—to relieve her anxiety, her distress, her emptiness and her fear.

The rest of that summer and into early fall in 2008, my husband and I learned to avoid each other, and we became even worse enemies. He was always exhausted, and he told me it was because he had so much work to do, and because we were always so busy. It never occurred to me that my husband could possibly be truly in love with Margaret because she represented everything in a woman that he had always loathed. I knew who Margaret was, but I accepted all of these things, because that is what friends do. Friends help each other through their problems, and they help each other become better people. Unfortunately, I had no idea that he had begun to completely—either consciously or unconsciously—ignore all of those things about Margaret that he had, before he met her, had no respect for. Our life had become pure misery, and the darkness that surrounded us became so oppressive that I could hardly breathe.


After my road trip, I decided that I had to make myself better if anything in my life was going to change, so I started on that path. I was thankful that I had my good friend Margaret to talk things out with and to help me. My anger towards my husband, because he was being completely unresponsive to what I was doing to help us get ‘back on track,’ became even more intense—much to Margaret’s delight and relief. For Margaret, my anger and my husband’s and my continued withdrawal from each other, simply meant the door she had been pushing on throughout our relationship with her was finally being broken down.

Both Margaret and my husband should have been able, at their age, to realize that feelings are neither right nor wrong, they are very often deceiving and they can be changed at will. When Margaret "discovered" she had feelings for my husband, she could have easily changed those feelings. (“Satan knows that the nature of humankind is to act out of how we feel rather than what we know”). Only 15 year-olds (and younger or the immature) believe they have to either follow or obey their feelings. I strongly believe that Margaret Lang orchestrated this entire adulterous debacle by selfishly not staying away from both me and my husband when she discovered she had feelings for him, and by actively pursuing him even when he threw up certain road-blocks. She stated to me that she did not stay away because she “needed us both” which meant that Margaret Lang was not done using me. From the time Margaret and my husband told each other they loved each other they were caught up in a web of deception, duplicity and selfishness, and no one else mattered to them at all—especially neither of their families. They both lied to me, they both lied to themselves, and they both lied to each other. The deception, the duplicity and the selfishness were so thick in their lives you could have cut it with a knife, and as a result of their pathetic relationship, the ugliness in my life only got worse.

An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends;

He defies all sound judgment. (Proverbs 18:1)

[not dazed or confused]

There you will remember your conduct
And all actions by which you have defiled yourselves,
And you will loathe yourselves for all the evil you have done. (Ezekiel 20:43)

Finally, sometime in October, after my husband and I had a vicious fight after going out to dinner with some friends from church, I told him that he had to stop working with Margaret (they mowed lawns together every Thursday). I told him that, even though I didn’t know exactly why, all of our problems started when Margaret came into our lives, and that I wanted all those problems to end. I told him he needed to end his ridiculous and self-diminishing emotional attachment with Margaret, and that he needed to quit being her friend because their friendship was taking too large a toll on him and on our marriage. I told him if it didn’t stop, that everything would end horribly for all of us. I also told him he was making a fool out of himself because I knew—from observing Margaret and talking to her about it—that Margaret had absolutely no romantic feelings for him. My husband listened to me, but he had no intention of doing what I asked because he was walking down Margaret's destructive path. I was also determined to finally wean Margaret from my life because I could never get anything done and my husband and I had not time to be alone together—Margaret or Margaret and her children were always hovering around us.

Unfortunately, when my husband told Margaret they could no longer work together every Thursday, she freaked out and told him that she did not want to lose him, and that he needed to leave me so they could be together. By telling my husband they had to be together, Margaret proved she never took her “let’s be strong and remain friends” rhetoric seriously—something she knew all along, and something my husband suspected all along as well which is why, from the moment they exchanged their “I love you’s,” he was no longer an occupant in our life together—he became even more diminished and weak and small, and I still didn’t understand or know why he was fading away.

Once Margaret and my husband decided they needed to be together, and once they decided to stop the “we need to be strong and remain friends” joke, Margaret went out and got them their own special top-secret, love-connection phones so she could talk to my husband about all the problems in her life whenever she felt like it without my knowing about it, and without my being able to put a stop to it. My husband admits that he was alarmed when Margaret got the phones for the both of them because of the depth and width of her capacity for deception, but by this time he was exhausted by our fighting and our problems, and by Margaret’s exhausting emotional assault against him that he didn’t say a word to her. He merely obliged. Because he was so exhausted, and because I was no longer his emotional barometer, my husband let Margaret lead him down any path she chose--when Margaret said jump, my husband asked "how high?" The top-secret, love-connection phones were amusing to me because my husband has NEVER been a fan of talking on the phone, and he told me after she was gone that he was annoyed that Margaret called so often, but he thought, very immaturely, that he could change her when they “got together.” At this point, Margaret had grasped her opportunity to deliver the final blow to my husband’s marriage to me because, as she stated to me, she was “afraid to lose him,” and because they needed to be together because they got along so well. Margaret was determined that this mortal man would be able to save her from her emptiness and loneliness and misery, and my husband, because he had lost his connection with reality, actually believed that he had the "golden ticket" that would finally make this miserable, lonely woman happy. He had begun to, officially, walk in Al Lang's shoes.

Because my husband’s and my life together, at this point, was so miserable, my husband told Margaret that their being together would be the best thing to do. Also, by this time I had given up on our life together because I no longer knew who my husband was, and I just didn’t know how to fix what had gone so horribly wrong. Also, at this point, Margaret became even more bold and selfish with her continued manipulation of my husband, and she began to employ constant weepy, pitiful and mournful statements like “I need you,” “I can’t live without you,” “I love you,” “I miss you,” “I want to be with you,” “…let’s just run away together,” “I’m so lonely and I need you,” “I’m afraid of what she will do when she finds out about us,” “…when are you going to leave her and be with me?” “…why didn’t you call me back right away because I was so afraid that she had found out about us and shot you,” “I can take so much better care of you than her,”etc. stuff. Margaret would also sulk and become angry with him for not immediately meeting her constant need to be affirmed and to be told that, yes, he would indeed leave his wife to be her savior. And still, sickeningly enough, Margaret came to my home every day to see the horror that our married life had become, she would bring her children to my home, she would eat the food I had prepared, and she would wipe her mouth and say "I have done nothing wrong."


Unfortunately, because I was so blind to Margaret’s true character, and because I believed so much in her lies and because I was far too trusting of both her and my husband, the chances of me ever “finding out” about them were minimal, and the chance that I would actually shoot anyone is exactly zero. I just cannot comprehend or understand the pitiful, schizophrenic, paranoid parallel universe both Margaret and my husband had chosen to live in, because I had never, thankfully, lived in that type of universe myself, and up until he got mixed up with Margaret, my husband had never lived in that type of universe either. On the contrary, Margaret has had quite a lot of practice inhabiting that type of hyper-emotional, delusional universe, and since she continues to place herself in those types of situations, I often wonder if it is because she actually enjoys the chaos that her very own soap opera world creates.

Keeping you from the immoral woman,
from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife;
Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes,
for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
and the adulteress preys upon your very life.
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?

Once they decided to be together, they started planning their fantasy future together. The fact that they were each blind to each other’s true character, and the fact that they had very little in common, meant nothing to them because each of them believed that the other could only be truly appreciated and loved by each other. Laughingly, they would hold hands in the truck while driving from one mowing job to another (my husband has never been a hand-holder, and he said this made him feel very childish during his rare moments of clarity). They also started having make-out sessions at her place of employment (I wonder if he billed the client for this?), and possibly other places as well. For some reason they never committed full-on physical adultery—at least that is what I have been told. I guess they had decided that by not committing full-on physical adultery, they could pretend that what they were doing was innocent and benign. My husband said that he “just didn’t go there.” I’m sure Margaret was very disappointed with that “not going there” decision because, as she has proven in her past, adultery in all forms is not only acceptable to her, it is also desirable and she needs every aspect of the adulterous affair in order to make her feel appreciated and fulfilled.

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)

Margaret kept telling my husband that everyone would eventually forgive them for what they had done to me and our marriage once they were together, and that everyone would accept them unconditionally because they would see that their love was true love, and that his and my marriage was merely a stop-gap until my husband found her. He told her this would not happen (he was already aware that she would never have been allowed in his parent’s home). She believed they could simply move in together and then everything would be alright. No repercussions. No fall-out. My husband told her there would be fall-out, but she did not believe him. Once they had moved in together, I would no longer exist, his family would no longer exist, her husband would no longer exist, and they would never have any problems with anything as long as they were together. They believed that they would still have the same circle of friends they were already enjoying, they believed that my daughter and granddaughter and her son and her two daughters would welcome and cherish their relationship as much as they did. My husband told Margaret that he would become a “friend” to her children. They believed that I would willingly and lovingly—once I saw how beautiful their relationship was, and once I realized that my and my husband’s marriage and relationship had been a huge 25-year mistake—sign over to them half of all that my husband and I had worked together to build. They beleived they were clearly soul mates because they got along so well and because they both liked motorcycles. They both believed that my husband was the only man who could save Margaret from her emptiness, her loneliness, her life-long misery, her neediness and her desperation. And this time, after all of her previous failures at being saved, being saved by my husband would really, really work. My husband was going to save Margaret’s life by destroying our life and our marriage. And Margaret welcomed this, and she embraced this.

Through the prism of their emotional affair, my husband and Margaret had idealized themselves and each other to a perfection that could never be matched by any other mortal. Each of them were convinced that the other was not appropriately or fully appreciated or understood the way they should be, and in a way that only they could truly appreciate and understand each other. No one could ever match the pureness of their perfection or of their love for one another. They convinced themselves that they did more in their lives and in their marriages than their spouses ever did or would ever appreciate. My husband and Margaret had their very own, very exclusive, mutual appreciation society. Margaret was convinced that their love story was equal only to Romeo and Juliet, and I am sure she envisioned that one day I would understand the depth and width of their love and their perfection, and learn to not only accept it, but to embrace it.

My husband knew everything he was he doing was wrong, but he was too exhausted to do anything about it except pray. He was too caught up in Margaret’s web of emotional chaos, and every time he would dare suggest that things between them wouldn’t work, she would get weepy and emotional and she would argue with him and justify and rationalize their being together. My husband has never before had to deal with the type of emotional chaos Margaret brought to his life, and he did not know how to deal with Margaret’s clinginess and weepiness and drama, and he was too embarrassed by what he was doing to talk to anyone about it. His head was so thoroughly messed up, he felt that agreeing to be with her was the only way he could shut her up, and to stop the madness that had enveloped his life. My husband just wanted peace, and he wasn’t getting it anywhere—he wasn’t getting any peace from Margaret, and, unfortunately because of my anger and my withdrawal from him, he was not getting any peace at home with me either. He was lost, and I was lost, but Margaret trudged on like a true soldier of Satan.

Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?
So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.
But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
Whoever does so destroys himself. (Proverbs 6:24-32)

[not dazed or confused]

the worse is yet to come... to be continued...

[not dazed or confused]

The eye is the lamp of the body.
If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.
But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.
If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! (Matthew 6:22-23)

In November 2008, Margaret’s niece was tragically killed in a car accident in Baltimore, so she left to go spend time with her family and to attend the funeral. When she was in Baltimore, my friend from Denmark came to stay with us so that she could celebrate Thanksgiving with us a little early because she had made plans to go to Egypt during our Thanksgiving holiday (this is the same friend who claimed, after only after an hour of being around her, that Margaret was both an emotional predator and an emotional vampire). On the day we were taking her to the airport to return to Denmark, my husband and I got into another huge fight. He wanted to know if our late taxes had been done yet, and I told him if he hadn’t had his head lodged so far up Margaret’s ass over the past year and half a lot more would have been done in our life (once again, when I said this to him, I was not aware that my husband’s head was lodged up Margaret’s ass so far because she had bent over at the waist, lubed up and spread her cheeks wide enough for him to shove it up there). I told him I was tired of the b.s., and I told him “I want off this ride.” He didn’t argue.

During the next few days, while Margaret was still in Baltimore, we did nothing but fight, but I still didn’t know why our life had become so miserable, and he didn’t tell me what was going on. My husband was weak and he was a coward. I decided we really couldn’t just allow our entire marriage to go up in smoke, so I asked him if he wanted to go to counseling—again. He said he didn’t think it would work, he claimed that he had changed and that he just wanted something different, and he claimed he had been unhappy in our marriage for some time. I met him for lunch the next day, and I practically begged him to give me “one more chance,” because I thought it was me who was pushing him away. He said he would give our marriage one more chance only if I did not kick Margaret out of her apartment, and only if I agreed to continue to help her with her kids (they discussed her ongoing need for my help and he told her he would make sure that I would still be available for her use of me). I told him that there was no need to “punish” Margaret for his erratic behavior, and I told him I wouldn’t even consider kicking Margaret out of her apartment, and that I had no reason to not continue to help her with her kids. I sent brief texts to Margaret while she was still in Baltimore about what was going on because I did not want to disturb her with my problems while she was grieving for her niece with her family, and I requested her help in saving my marriage. I also told her that our marriage had always been good until she came into our lives, and that I did not understand why everything had gone so horribly. Margaret agreed to help me, but I had no idea she was lying (she was good).

When Margaret arrived home from Baltimore on November 26, I called her and I met with her so we could talk, and I told her all the ‘behind-the-scenes’ things that were going on in my husbands and my life that she may have been aware of, but did not know the reasons why (I didn’t know it at the time, but she had been aware of it all along because my husband had been “venting” to her the entire time, and telling her how “unhappy” he was in his marriage once their emotional attachment heated up). I explained to her that most, if not all, of the misery in my life was caused by my husband’s ongoing emotional attachment to her, and that their “he’s just like a brother to me” friendship was the cause of the demise of my marriage (I was not aware that they were no longer just friends because Margaret had failed to tell me that her status had changed--remember, first foreplay and then...). I told her that every negative thing I had done over the past year and half to my husband and to me was a result of my husband’s slow detachment from me, and I actually apologized to her for not telling her earlier (she was already very much aware of this, but she did not care because she needed me). I told her that I knew, based on our friendship with each other, that she would have helped me earlier if I had explained everything to her sooner. I told her that I was tired of the horror in my marriage, but I loved my husband and wanted to make our marriage work. My faith and trust in both Margaret and in our friendship was so strong, I still did not make the connection between her and the failing of my marriage when I spoke to her that morning even though she was saying things to me that just didn’t make any sense at the time. I thought, very seriously, that my husband had just gone crazy, and that he was suffering some type of middle-age, male menopausal, unrequited love stupidity. The fact is, Margaret is so good at deception, duplicity and manipulation, that I did not question her loyalty to me.

Later that night, I asked my husband one more time if he wanted to go to counseling, and he said “no.” He told me counseling wouldn’t do any good because what was wrong with our marriage could not be fixed. I asked him what was wrong with our marriage, and he just said “I’ve changed.” So I told him to “get the f*&% out of my house.” He was laying in bed when I told him this, and he looked at me with surprise, his eyes got really big, he hesitated, sighed, and then he started getting out of bed. I left the house and went over to my daughter’s house (she lives next door), I told her I had just kicked my husband out of the house, I told her that he was being an *******, and that I was tired of living with an *******. When I thought I had given him enough time to leave, I went back home, but he was just walking to his truck. I ran up the stairs and I told him that we had bills to pay, and that I expected him to be responsible and help me get them paid. He said he would. He looked lost and alone, but I did not care. He asked me if he could come by the next day a pick up some of his things, and I told him to call my daughter to make arrangements because I no longer wanted to speak to him or even look at him, and as far as I was concerned he could take all of his crap. Since his emotional attachment with Margaret had officially taken away everything that was good and righteous about my husband (which he, in his emotionally, mentally and spiritually diminished capacity, allowed), I wasn’t entirely upset to see the door close behind him because he had become, in my estimation, a pathetic loser. But I still had no real idea why.

Right before I kicked him out of our home, my husband told me he “loved me” but that he “was not in love with me anymore.” He told me that although our marriage had been good, and that I had been a good wife, he had changed and had been unhappy with our life and our marriage for a “long time,” and that he just wanted out. He thanked me for our good marriage, and he thanked me for being such a good wife. He told me he could not respect me as much as he respected Margaret. He told me that my weight bothered him, and he told me that he had told Margaret I “had let myself go.” He told me that my having just turned fifty, my health issues, my weight, and my being on anti-depressants because of his emotional withdrawal from me made no difference to him, and that he didn’t plan for this to happen, and he couldn’t help it if things turned out the way they had. He told me he was tired of all my acting out over the past year and half, and he told me he didn’t care if the reasons for that acting out was because of his emotional affair with Margaret or not. He told me, the day he came back into my home to “reconcile,” that the reason he asked Margaret to be with him one more time was because he was hoping she would finally say “yes.” His cruelty to me during his and Margaret’s emotional affair was incomprehensible, and that is why I told him to, finally, get the f*&% out my house. He was no longer the man I had married, and he was no longer the man I had shared the last 25 years of my life with. This man had become both a monster and a stranger.


I called Margaret the next day, and I told her that I kicked my husband out of my house, and she, because she was my dear friend, spent the entire day consoling me. I told Margaret that since my husband and I were separated that she needed to choose with whom she wanted to remain friends—him or me. I did not doubt that she would choose me. She couldn’t decide, and she told me she “loves him,” but I thought she meant she loves him only as a friend and as “brother.” Margaret finally relents after speaking with her sister, Katherine, and she told me that she called my husband and told him they could no longer be friends.


The next few days are jumbled and chaotic. On December 2, my husband arrives at my doorstep crying and says he is sorry, and that he wants to reconcile. I told him the only way we can reconcile is if we went to counseling, and I also told him he could not move back home. Horribly and deceptively, on the way up to reconcile with me, he saw Margaret standing on the corner near her apartment and he stopped to ask her, one more time, to be with him. He claims she did not answer him. Margaret called my daughter to tell her what my husband had just asked her, but my daughter did not tell me until later that night. I still didn’t understand why he was being so crazy, because Margaret has assured me that she had “no romantic feelings” for my husband, and I believed her.

During these few days of anxiety, stress and chaos, Margaret continued to come to my home either by herself or with her children to console me. She told me that my house was "lonely" without my husband being there. I told her that my husband was crazy, and I told her that I had no idea why he was destroying our marriage, or why he felt that his “friendship” with her was more important than his marriage and his family. During the time Margaret was coming to my home to console me, and while I was still feeding her and her kids, she continued to call my husband on their top-secret, love-connection phones because she was either still planning to be with him, or because she just hadn’t made up her mind. She asked him to take both of their motorcycles out of our garage and put them someplace safe because she was afraid I would destroy them once I found out the truth about what was going on. She asked him to take all of the guns out of the house because she was afraid I would go crazy once I had learned the truth about what was going on, and that I would shoot them both (both my husband and Margaret weren't content to splash around in the gutter themselves--they were both hell-bent on bringing me down into the gutter with them). She also asked him if he was able to find the metro-sexual clothing she had purchased him (I told her I had thrown them out). Because of Margaret’s and my husband’s complete and total selfishness, my 25 year relationship to this man was reduced to their delusional concerns about me harming either their motorcycles or them, and, worst of all, Margaret had reduced my marriage to a pile of metro-sexual clothing that she had purchased for him. This is a sick, sick woman with absolutely no conscience.


I went to my husband’s apartment the night he came to my door asking for reconciliation, and I told him he was crazy, but he still withheld the truth about what was really going on. I told him that Margaret did not feel about him the same way he felt about her, and that she did not want to be with him. I told him he was crazy for wanting to be with her, and when I started listing the reasons why, he interrupted me and told me that I should know that he “doesn’t make mistakes like that” (inferring that it was impossible for him to make any mistakes about Margaret’s true character). Because I wasn’t aware of Margaret’s involvement in our marital meltdown except via his emotional attachment to her, I thought the only reason he had decided to not to go to counseling the night I kicked him out was simply because he wanted to be free to pursue a relationship with her—I wasn’t aware that a relationship was already in the bag.

My husband and Margaret talked on their top-secret, love-connection phones that night after I left him in his lonely, cold little apartment, and he told Margaret that I thought he was crazy. This infuriated Margaret, and she told him she was going to tell me exactly what was going on, and she was going to tell me that he was not crazy (evidently, crazy is a relative term for Margaret). How dare I call her only true love “crazy?” After all, Margaret knew him far better than I did after being with him for 25 years even though she had spent only a year and half around him, and even though he was--disgustingly and sorrowfully enough--pretending he was someone far different from who he was Margaret was enraged, and she did, after all, know him far better than I did because she was in love with him, and being in love with someone means you know more about them then even the wife he had shared his life, his home, his time, his love and his bed with for twenty-five years. Oh yeah--Margaret is really that smart. My husband told her he would take care of it, and to not bring it up to me. She didn’t listen to him, because she believed it was her job to protect him from me because, after all, I was the monstrous enemy of their love, and it was my very existence that was keeping them apart.

On the morning of December 3, I called Margaret to find out if she would come to my house before she went to work. She seemed distracted, and she told me she couldn’t. She told me that my husband was not crazy (but Margaret was dead wrong about that because he was crazy, and I had witnessed--from inside my paralysis--his slow descent into crazy) because they were in love with each other, and then she started to go into this long, convoluted explanation about how they fell in love, in an attempt, I guess, to get me to understand, and to perhaps embrace their love for each other. I told her to cut to the chase. I asked her why she thought they are in love, and she became disturbed by that question and said, angrily, “Because we get along so well.” I asked “is that it? Is that the only reason you think you’re in love?” She became angry and frustrated that I would dare question their reason for being in love, but I stopped her from saying anything more by calling her a black-hearted bitch, and I told her to get the hell out of my apartment (she was renting an apartment from us), and then I hung up on her. Margaret had the audacity, after doing what she had been doing since she came into my life, to actually be offended that I would dare call her a black-hearted bitch. I wonder what kind of a woman she believes would do what she had done to me, to my marriage, to my family and to my life—a righteous, good or Godly woman? I think not. This woman was clearly separated from reality.


When Margaret confessed her involvement in this thing (for a lack of a better word to describe it), I started flipping through my brain’s historical rolodex, and I was shocked and hurt at what I discovered (hindsight is 20/20). I believe Margaret thought I knew more of what was going on when I think of some of the things she said to me, and some of the things her sister said to me before the morning of December 3. I wasn’t able to put it all together until after she confessed to me her part in the thing. Even one of our friends (the police officer)said Margaret had talked to him about walking the “moral path” before anyone, except my husband and any other people she told, really knew what was going on. I know I didn’t comprehend this thing in its entirety until after Margaret confessed. I knew my husband was mixed up—and even crazy—but I trusted Margaret so much that I didn’t even consider that she would have any part of his craziness except accidentally and/or innocently—I was completely, totally and absolutely wrong.

After Margaret’s confession, I drove down the street to her apartment (her apartment was located just a block down the hill from our house), and I met my husband coming up the hill, we both stopped, we each rolled down our windows, and I asked him “Do you want to be with Margaret?” He looks at me bug-eyed, crazy, and even more diminished and pathetic than ever, he thinks about it for a few seconds, and he said, with a look of absolute humiliation, shame and guilt on his face, “yes.” That’s all the information I needed. Evidently when I told Margaret she had to get out the apartment, and once she realized that I was most likely not going to remain her friend (could she really have been that foolish?), she called my husband and told him to do something to try to get me to allow her to stay in her apartment... that was only a block away from my home. And that is what my husband, stupidly enough, was coming up the hill to talk to me about (or so he says).



I continued down the street to Margaret’s apartment, jumped out of my car, raced up the stairs to her second-floor apartment, stormed into the apartment, stepped past Isaac (Margaret’s seven year-old son who was playing some type of game on the floor) and found Margaret in her daughter’s bedroom where she had been looking out the window to see what was going on (you can see our house from this window as well as the part of the road coming down from our house to her apartment building). She had a smile on her face that I did not understand. Was it an embarrassed smile? Was it a victorious smile? Was it a “please just understand” smile? I don’t really know, and I do not remember what I said to her. I just walked up to her and whacked her up alongside the head.

Margaret and I both walked out to the kitchen, and Isaac, Margaret’s seven-year old son, was standing right outside the kitchen door on the back porch with the door open, and he was bawling. I looked at him, and I said, “Well, Isaac, your mothers doing it again.” Margaret told him to go to his room and shut the door. Margaret stood in the middle of the kitchen, wringing her hands, and she told me that she and my husband were in love, and that they needed to be together, and that she had developed feelings for him shortly after we all met but that she needed both of us, and, and, and, and, etc. After listening to Margaret's pathetic and disturbed reasons for needing to be with my husband, I said something to her. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it must have been something that she did not find agreeable because she changed. Her entire body stiffened, she set her jaw, her eyes narrowed and they turned so black I could no longer see any green in them even though she was facing the window. As I looked into Margaret’s narrowed, cold, shark-like and empty eyes I realized with sudden, startling, gut-wrenching clarity that I was looking into the eyes of the real Margaret. I was looking into the eyes of ugliest person I had ever met in my life.

[not dazed or confused]

I had looked into the empty, disturbed eyes of a woman who would intentionally seduce a man of God while his wife was ill, and then beg and plead with him to leave her. I had looked into the eyes of a woman who would, after her seduction did not turn out the way she wanted, allow her own husband’s rage, anger and jealousy to destroy the life of the man she had seduced and claimed to love. These were the eyes of a woman who would, after seducing this man, make false allegations in a legal document so that she could financially benefit from her own adultery. This was a woman who would, like a common prostitute, use the money she made from her own seduction and the final destruction of a man who dared to make the same mistake my husband and I had just made, have her breasts enlarged, her brow Botoxed, her teeth veneered and her thighs liposucted to enhance her physical self, but leave her spiritual and emotional self wandering in her own selfish, tormented desert. These were the eyes of a woman who would cuddle up to a twelve-year old girl, tell her she loved her, and then maliciously and selfishly destroy the only stable home that child had ever known (my precious granddaughter).

I had looked into the ugly, lifeless eyes of the woman who came into my life, into my family, into my church, into my friendships and into my home pretending to be friend so she could have full access to my husband. This was a woman who knew my family was horribly bruised from my daughter’s drug addiction and recovery (and the mountain of other things) but did not care. This was a woman who had no patience for what my family was going through, and who forced her own self-induced problems on both my husband and me when we were already heavily burdened and bruised because her problems were more important and immediate. This was a woman who eagerly consumed my goodness, my kindness, my family and my friendship like a starved animal, and then do nothing more than vomit ugliness into my life. This was a woman who purposely walked around in tight-fitting, breast-enlarged revealing, pubic-hair showing clothing so that she could gain the attention of every man she came in contact with. This was a woman who used her obsessively exercised, liposucted, tummy-tucked, breast-enlarged, Botoxed body to seduce my husband in my own home all the while claiming he was “just like a brother” to her.



This was a woman who called my husband constantly throughout the day so she could discuss all of her problems with him, and vampirishly drain every drop of emotion from his heart so that I was left in an emotional desert to deal not only with my daughter’s recovery from drug addiction, but also my own recovery from depression by myself. This was a woman who used my kindness and my goodness to suck every ounce of emotional energy from me so that I had none left for myself or anyone else. This was a woman I prayed for, praised, supported, helped, lifted up and befriended so that she could leisurely slip her hand down my husband’s pants. This was a woman who would eagerly give up her own children for a ridiculous, disturbed, immature fantasy.



I had looked into the disturbed and tormented eyes of a woman who bought my husband ‘proper’ clothing so he would be able to dress more appropriately for her. This was a woman who discovered a love for motorcycles when she found out my husband was into motorcycles, and who would constantly ask him for rides so she could get her cheap, twisted, sexual thrills right in front of me and my entire family. This was a woman who behaved completely differently with my husband when neither I nor his family were around, and who knew exactly why she was doing it because she had done it before. The eyes I looked into that morning were the eyes of a woman who could easily, and with no conscience, use a woman to help her take care of her own children while dieting so that she would look her physical best before she f*&%ed that woman’s husband (right before I kicked my husband out of my home, I noticed that Margaret had been dieting and I asked her why because the last time she had dieted was to look her best for her adultery with the carny man--Margaret looked at me--with what I now know was her infamous deer-in-the-headlights look--and she said "no reason." This sick, sick woman was standing in my kitchen, sucking every ounce of goodness from me all the while she was getting ready to f*&% my husband. I mean seriously... how gross and disturbed is that?



These were the eyes of a woman who did not want to get full custody of her 15 year-old daughter (even though her daughter begged her) because she did not want her daughter to interfere with her own Margaret time, and she did not want to be bothered. This was a woman who gave up her own children to their father for raising once they reached a certain age because, she claimed, she no longer knew what to do with them. This was a woman who believed she was the "queen of her marriage" simply because she got up in the morning and went to work, vacuumed the floors, did the laundry and mowed the lawn--and did absolutely nothing else This was a woman who would leave her oldest daughter's small dog on her back deck in the cold and rain because she did not want to be bothered. This was a woman who would bring her children to my home so that I could entertain them while she and my husband dated at their leisure.


I had looked into the eyes of the most feverishly disturbed woman I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. This was a woman who I spent hours sewing a Halloween costume for, only to have her want more cleavage showing and then wear that tight-fitting costume with absolutey nothing beneath it--and this was after she and my husband had decided to "be together." This was a woman who, with absolutely no conscience or remorse, force me to be complicit in her seduction of my own husband. This was a woman who, when we met her, did nothing in her life except work and exercise obsessively--she was up at 3 a.m. to exercise for several hours, she would take a shower, go to work, go home, eat and then go to bed early with little or no interaction with her own children only so she could begin her selfish routine early the next morning. This was a woman who complained constantly that her own mother was "emotionally unavailable" to her, but who was absolutely just as "emotionally unavailable" to her own children (she left all that 'stuff' up to her whipped husband).



Did her pupils dilate that morning? I don’t really know—I just know what I saw. Margaret’s true nature, finally, had been revealed to me with just that one look. I finally understood who she really was and what she really was. I finally understood that I had been completely duped by someone with a sickness so hard-wired in her that neither I nor my husband ever stood a chance. I realized at that point that I was not dealing with a rational or sane person, so I turned around and walked out the door.



As I walked out the door, I notice a small, diminished man standing there watching. His eyes were bugged out of his head, and he had a crazy look on his face. Vengance is truly God’s. That man standing by the door looked exactly like Margaret’s husband had looked the day he stormed into our local Starbucks and 'caught' Margaret and my husband having coffee together (they were waiting for my daughter and I, and at that time I thought Al was a raving, paranoid lunatic, but I was dead wrong because Al knew his wife, and he knew the signs). Margaret had called that morning to tell me my husband was not crazy, but she was wrong. Dead wrong. Margaret had no basis for comparison, and I did. The man standing there by the door as I walked by was a pathetic, bug-eyed, small, diminished stranger. That man was not the man I had married. That man had become a stranger to me, and I no longer had any connection to him. My husband was standing there next to a freind of ours (who was also the cheif of police in our town) whom he had called to protect his true love Margaret from his heinous, interloper, interfering wife with whom he had just spend the last 25 years--out with the old, in with the new. I walked past them, down the stairs, got into my car and I went home. At least I knew the truth, and for some really odd reason, and even though my heart was broken, and even though I was grieving for my 25-year relationship and the love that was no longer there--I felt more at peace then I had felt in a very long time. Truth does that to a person.

Once I got home I called my husband (both my daughter and our friend, the police officer, were there), and I told him that I wanted a divorce immediately. I told him that he needed to borrow money from his parents and get all of our bills paid, I told him that he would sign all of our properties over to me, and I told him there was no longer any reason for him to live in Western Pennsylvania because the only reason he was living there was because of his family, and I told him that he no longer had the privilege of having his family. I told him that he and Margaret could move somewhere else so that they could live happily ever after or ride off into the sunset on their motorcycles or whatever other fantasy he had, and I told him not to worry about her kids because if she were willing to give them up once, she would do it again because that is the type of person she was. He told me I was not being fair, and I told him that life wasn’t always fair and that I had just found that out. He didn’t say anything more. I felt nothing but pity for the man I was talking with, because the man that I had married was dead.

During the course of that day, I removed all of my husband’s belongings from the main floor of my house, and my daughter and I delivered them (heaped them, actually) to the front of his new home (one of our apartments). I stripped my bed to get his ugly smell out of my bedroom, and I washed and cleaned my entire house. Our house had become my home, and I wanted nothing that belonged to him anywhere around me. I told him if he needed anything that was his (we have a two-story garage full of his stuff, a basement full of his stuff, a room on the second floor that was full of his stuff, and a huge outbuilding that was full of his stuff, and only a fraction of this stuff would ever have fit into his new apartment), he would have to call and make arrangements with my daughter to come to my home to get it. I told him he was not allowed on my property without first asking permission, and I told him that he was not allowed to take anything from my property without first asking permission. He didn’t like this, but I explained to him that he had freely chosen the path to leave me, our marriage, our family, our home and our life, and that I did not see any reason for him to be even the least bit upset about the very bed he had made for himself. Although I pitied him for what he had chosen, I had absolutely no sympathy for him, his weakness, his powerlessness or his stupidity. If Margaret was the kind of woman he wanted, then he was welcome to her. And that is what I told him.

[not dazed or confused]

On the next day, December 4, three of Margaret’s brothers came from Baltimore to take her away (hee hee, haw haw). She had called one her sisters earlier that morning to tell her that “she was going insane.” Margaret’s family, being concerned for her welfare and safety as well as her soul, decide the best way to save Margaret from the crisis that she had created in her own life was by getting her out of the situation (an "audltery inervention, if you will). I spoke to Margaret’s sister that day, and she told me that she believed my husband had a great deal of power over Margaret, and that he must have had “adultery” in his heart all along. Power? What power? I was stunned. Shocked. Incredulous. And then I laughed. I told my daughter about this "power," and she laughed. I told my friends about this "power," and they laughed. My husband is the most emotionally lazy person I have ever met in my life--he has absolutely NO emotional power (and I just accepted this as just being a part of him). How funny. As a matter of fact, he is so emotionally lazy, he merely repeated everything Margaret said to him back to her bcause he is, and has always been, completely clueless about what to say to a woman--and I've known this for 25 years.



I e-mailed Margaret’s sister, Katherine, later that day after digesting all this information, and I told her that my husband had no power over Margaret, that the only power in Margaret’s life was Margaret’s own feelings, and that my husband did not seek her out—she sought him out. My husband has never been an emotionally intense person, and he has never, in our entire time together, had the type of power that Margaret’s sister was referring. What kind of lies was Margaret telling her own family? Or, did Katherine just make this ridiculous assumption based on the lie-filled lawsuit the Lang's had filed agains GGWO and it's pastor? I also advised Katherine that Margaret, once again, just like she had done with the pastor at GGWO (who, incidentally, was Ed and Katherine's friend before Margaret got to him), had become a slave to her own selfish and hyper-emotional feelings and her own manipulative nature in her desire to be saved from her complete and utter emptiness.

On either Thursday or Friday night, my husband talked to Margaret on his real phone (she had left her side of the top-secret, love-connection phones at home), and he offered to go pick her up in Baltimore, but she told him she would rent a car and come home to him (how very Romeo and Julietish). That was the last time he spoke to her. At one point during her all too brief stay in Baltimore, Margaret made the decision to go back to her husband. Evidently, she decided what she was doing was wrong (if that is/was at all possible), and that the only reason she wanted my husband was because she needed someone to fill her emptiness. It was tragic that neither of them had either the balls or the heart to make that decision earlier. My husband and Margaret haven’t spoken to each other since she moved back in with her husband. So much for the true, selfless and honorable love they had for each other.

On the day Margaret moved back in with her husband, I texted my husband and asked him if he missed her. He texted back, and said “no. she is crazy.” I texted back “not crazy. Shes always been emotionally unstable. You knew that.” He texted back “blind and stupid.” I texted, “are you going to try to see her again?” He texted, “no. don’t want to.” I texted “you were turning into Al.” He texted back “ I was already Al.” I texted back to him “pity.”

[not dazed or confused]

When my husband and I met Margaret, my husband was an honest and good man, a man of character, integrity and dignity, a man with more common sense than anyone I had ever met, he was a man who had always been steeped in reality, and he was a man who was greatly respected by his family, his friends, and his clients. Throughout the time Margaret was on her path of destructive manipulation, duplicity and deception, my husband slowly lost his self-respect, his personality, his dignity, his character, his light-heartedness, his joy, the respect of his family, our friends and neighbors, his reputation, his feelings of self-worth and his integrity, and through Margaret he had also partially abandoned his walk with God. Margaret had done exactly the same thing to the pastor at GGWO.

Via Margaret’s emotional manipulation, my husband neglected me, his family, his home, his work, his character and our friends. He became emotionally and mentally sick and unhealthy as he followed Margaret down her manipulative path. When we met Margaret our credit score was 720, and by the time I kicked that manipulative, duplicitous, deceptive creature out of my life, we had absolutely no credit--I can't even get a department store credit card. By the time I kicked that creature out of my life, our house was in foreclosure, and most of our bills were at least one to two months behind. For the first several months after kicking that "thing" out of my life, I spent my days, for the first time in my life, fielding phone calls from bill collectors.


Also, my husband didn’t want to have anything to do with any of our friends who felt Margaret was bad for our relationship, because he knew, in his heart, that they were right, and he did not want to feel either the shame or the guilt of what he was doing. He was learning to ‘compartmentalize’ his morality, and he had found such a fine and gifted teacher.

My husband is ashamed of himself (rightfully so) for the man he had allowed himself to become, for his weakness, for his cowardice, and for allowing Margaret to drag him down the path of deception (she was the leader, and he was her thoroughly manipulated and seduced follower) and therefore into the gutter, and for many of the things he said to her. My husband now admits he was merely repeating what Margaret she was saying to him because he thought that it was what she expected from him. He realizes now that he was being, in his words, delusional, stupid, and crazy, and that because his head was so messed up with his uncharacteristic behavior (the deception and the infidelity), he had ceased to be the man he had always been. My husband is now working to rebuild all that has disappeared from his life, but it will be a long and tough path to walk in order to regain what has been lost, and to fully recover from the ‘Margaret nightmare’ he has been through for the past two years.

Within two days of Margaret being out of his life and out of his head, and when she was no longer in the position to constantly assault him with her perpetual and weepy neediness, my husband decided he wanted nothing more to do with her, and, he claims, it only took approximately another three weeks to be over her for good. My husband started to grasp reality after having been away from it for so long. My husband was greatly relieved when Margaret’s brother called him to tell him to stay away from her because he would no longer be forced to deal with her hyper-emotional hysteria any more, and he felt that, finally, he could have some peace in his life. By the time Margaret’s brother called, my husband had already made the decision to stay away from Margaret and from, what he had just realized after having been so blind, Margaret's obsessive craziness.

Since Margaret has been out of our lives, my husband has been waking from the Margaret nightmare (she never, ever let up on him). The first time I saw my husband after Margaret was gone (it was several weeks before I could even look at his ugly, bug-eyed face again or even listen to his voice--he disgusted me), I was shocked by the way he looked. He looked at least ten years older, his shoulders were slumped, and there was absolutely nothing left of who he had been, and this was not because Margaret was gone, it was because had been here. My husband has behaved in ways I have never seen him behave until Margaret, through her perverted kind of love, revealed the worst in him. While Margaret was a part of our lives, and especially his life, there was ugliness in him that I had never seen before. I found a card he had given me a few years ago, and he had written how much he loved me, and that I “brought out the best in him.” That is the truth—I did bring out the best in him, as he did me. But Margaret, from what everyone around us has witnessed, truly brought out the very worst in him, and that is the kind of love people with Borderline Personality Disorder, narcissism, and Histrionic Personality Disorder are able to do to those they “love.”


Also, while going through my chest of cards (to find and destroy every card that creature had ever given to me), I discovered the card (and I saved that particular care and put it in her file) that Margaret had given to both me and my husband on our anniversary the first year we knew her. She had written "you two are so happy you make me sick." Fortuitous? Evidently, our happiness made her so sick she decided to destroy it.



Please see:
http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/psychopaths_in_sheeps_clothing.htm


http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml


http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a101.htm


http://www.peaceandhealing.com/personality/histrionic.asp


http://www.peaceandhealing.com/personality/avoidant.asp


http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Codependency/forum/2431128-emotional-manipulation


http://www.kimjonescounseling.com/ewm-jf08/index.htm



Soon after Margaret was gone, my husband mentioned to a mutual friend that he had no idea that his decision—the decision to follow Margaret down the path of deception—could make him so miserable, cause so much pain too so many, and devastate his life so thoroughly. Sadly enough, my husband had made his ugly bed with the devil, but was kicked out before he even had the chance to, ummm, "enjoy" it. How great is that? If it were'nt so tragic and pathetic, it would be absolutely hilarious (and there are some who do find that particular little bit of information hilarious).

How often does "adultery" turn out well? Not only does Satan make adultery 'alluring,' it seems He knocks the smart right out of those who choose that path even though these people have been warned about adultery time and time again, even by Jesus Himself.

[not dazed or confused]

Once Margaret was gone and we started speaking to each other again (it was at least a month), I asked my husband what characteristics he felt he “loved” about Margaret, he looked at me for a long time, and then he told me he “couldn’t think of one thing.” I asked him if it was her honesty, her integrity or her goodness. He said “no” because she had displayed none of those qualities in any fair measure, and those qualities for Margaret have always been purely optional. I asked him if it was her love and joy for life. He said “no.” Margaret constantly talked about killing herself (“I just want to die,” “I just can’t take another breathe…”) so it was obvious that she neither loved life, nor did she have any real joy in her life. Her threats about committing suicide were just another form of manipulation that those with a personality disorder employ to get the result they want, and the result they want is to feel needed, wanted and protected. I asked him if it was her independence, her loyalty to her friends and husband, her emotional stability, her patience or her history of marital fidelity, and he said “no.” Margaret has always hated being alone, and she is unable to be on her own without someone’s help because she is so insecure about her own ability to take care of herself. Also, Margaret has shown very little loyalty to her friends because she has always placed her needs before others, and she had continuously proven herself to be emotionally unstable by her constant “I just want to die” threats on a regular basis. Margaret proved over and over to the both of us that she had very little patience, and she had absolutely no patience for anything that took time away from her obsession and her compulsion to work on her physical appearance. As with many people who suffer from a personality disorder, Margaret cheats on her husband in order to fill the vast emptiness inside her.

I asked my husband if it was Margaret's perpetual good mood, her willingness to help others, her love for animals, or her unselfishness, and, once again, he said “no” because Margaret, once again as a result of her various possible personality disorders, was constantly moody and she was just as often despondent, she helps others only when it benefits herself because, as a true (possible) narcissist, she feels her needs and desires are much more important than anyone else’s needs or desires, she has no patience or love for animals, and she is embarrassingly selfish in every area of her life. People with Borderline Personality Disorder are “unstable in their self-image, moods, behavior, and their interpersonal relationships.” And that pretty much describes Margaret.


I asked him it was Margaret’s ability to make decisions, her innocence, her respect for other people’s marriages, or her lack of duplicity. He said “no.” Margaret, as we had come to learn, couldn’t make a decision if her life depended on it because she was always uncertain about any choice she made. Margaret had lost her innocence a long time ago when she first bedded her Tae Kwon Do instructor, so there was no respect or “love” for her innocence. Margaret had also proven she had no respect for other people’s marriages including her own, and she is the most maliciously duplicitous person either one of us have ever met. I asked him if it was her creativity, her fine cooking skills, her ability to make and retain friends, her loyalty and faithfulness to God, or her engaging conversational skills, and he said “no.” Margaret is the least creative person we’ve ever met (we tried to get her interested in different forms of creativity, but she became frustrated and impatient), she had no interest in even learning how to cook (not even for her own family), she had no real friends, and the only people she likes to talk with are men who will pay attention to her or other women who are as obsessed with their bodies and exercise as she is.

I asked him if it was her contributions to her own marriage that attracted him to her, and he said “absolutely NOT.” Margaret, as we had discovered, had made little or no contributions to her own marriage other than bringing home a paycheck, doing the laundry, vacuuming the floors, mowing the lawn and having babies. From what she told us, her life consisted of getting up at 3 a.m. or 4 a.m. to exercise, go to work, and then come home to spend an hour or so with her children before she went to bed. I asked him if it was her love for movies and books and discussing those books and movies that he found so intriguing about her. He said “no,” because Margaret had never shown any interest in either. Not surprisingly, my husband could not come up with ONE THING he could even love about her, except Margaret’s own extremely irrelevant claim that “they got along.” I told my husband that I got along with a lot of people, and that I have gotten along very well with certain men during my marriage, but that didn’t mean I ever wanted to ruin their lives, their families lives or my own life and marriage.

Finally, I asked my husband “if we were to get a divorce what type of woman would you date? A woman like Margaret or a woman like me?” He stated, very emphatically, that he would date a woman like me. I asked him why, and he stated “because you are real and you are honest.” I asked him “if that is so, then why did you choose to date a woman like Margaret when you were still married to a woman like me?” He thought about it for a few seconds, and then he said “because she wouldn’t leave me alone.” He further stated that she was “on him all the time,” and that she was “around all the time,” and that he never had any time to think about anything because, he said, “she exhausted” him. He said he couldn’t take her weeping and crying or her tear-filled eyes and quivering chin or her constant neediness. My husband thought he loved Margaret and he told her he loved her, but then I thought I loved her, and I thought she was a good, loving and caring friend as well.

Since this thing imploded, and since we have been going to counseling together, we have discovered how very wrong, misguided, manipulated and blind we both were. Margaret was never my friend, and Margaret was never my husband’s friend. Margaret did nothing but use me, my goodness and my kindness, and my depression and the vulnerabilities in my marriage to manipulate and seduce my husband. Margaret, because of her neediness and emptiness, destroyed everything that was good about my husband because that is what Margaret’s perverted kind of love does to a person. Margaret can claim that isn’t so or that she didn’t mean it, but the reality of what she has done reveals the truth. No one can be as stupid or ignorant of their actions as she claims.

Because I now know who the real Margaret is, I have had to acknowledge how much she used me, my trust in her, my goodness and my kindness. No one has ever used me as badly as Margaret used me—not to mention how she used my husband and the rest of my family. After all has been said and done, we all realize that Margaret brought absolutely no goodness to any of our lives—all she brought into our lives was emotional upheaval, ugliness, perversion, chaos and destruction. While I gave Margaret and her kids my love, time, support, time, friendship, time, kindness, time, goodness and more and more time, the only thing Margaret did was take and take and take and then take some more, and she wasn’t going to be truly satisfied until she had taken everything—including my husband and our life together.



I kept waiting for Margaret to ‘get better’ and embrace her own life, but it wasn’t her life she wanted, it was mine. I truly believe, horribly, that she thinks this type of behavior is just a part of how life is lived, and that somehow this type of behavior can be justified or rationalized because of her feelings. Unfortunately, Margaret believes everyone else’s feelings are superfluous to her own which is truly selfish. I am embarrassed that any of us—after finding out what kind of a person Margaret really is—had anything to do with her, especially since I was forced to go to so many people and tell them that they were right about her all along, and that I was so wrong.

Right before I kicked my husband out of my home (because, at the time, he was truly crazy, regardless of what Margaret believed, and he was absolutely not the man I married), I had made a conscious decision to get rid of the ‘crap’ that was littering my life because I no longer wanted to live with the darkness and the chaos that surrounded me, and—surprise—almost immediately after kicking both him and Margaret out of my life, most of the ‘crap’ went with them. I felt as if a black cloud had been lifted from my heart and soul (is it just a coincidence that the 'black cloud' I had been living under completely dissipated after I kicked Margaret out? From where had that black cloud originated?). Since both my husband (the stranger that he had become) and Margaret have been gone, I have been liberated from the oppression of all the negativity and darkness that had gripped my life over the past year and a half. Happily, and with God’s love, His help and His strength, I am back on the path to becoming myself again. It helps that I have never been afraid to be alone or be on my own.


So much for good times with Al and Margaret Lang, huh?


My next installment will include what I know--from what Margaret has told me--about the lie-filled lawsuit the Lang's filed against GGWO and it's pastor, and their consequent theft of GGWO parishoners money.

[not dazed or confused]

Oh... one more thing before I get into the lie-filled lawsuit against GGWO and it's pastor:

During the last week or so of chaos at my home--right after I kicked my husband out of my house--Margaret Lang looked me directly in the eyes and she told me "I have a clear conscience." Unfortunately, I applied my own moral center to that statement and understood it to mean "I have done nothing to hurt either you or your family."

Having a "clear conscience" for Margaret evidently meant "even though I have done everything I possibly could to seduce your husband accept get naked and lie down in front of him with my legs spread wide open, and even though I have told your husband I love him, I need him, I want him, and I can't live without him, and even though I have been begging and pleading with your husband to leave you for the past several months, and even though I have been seducing your husband right under your anti-depressant nose while you have been going through the worst time of your life, and even though I have told your husband that "I can take better care" of him "than you can" although I have never taken care of anyone in my life except myself, and even though I told your husband that he was spending too much time with his own granddaughter because that was cutting into the time he could be spending focusing on me, and even though I have been having make-out and heavy petting sessions with your husband for the past several months during the day and going to your home every night and every weekend to eat your food, drink your margaritas, have you entertain my children and suck every bit of emotional strength you have left in your body after your crisis after crisis, and even though I am currently losing weight so that I can commit proper adultery and finally be able to f*&$ your husband, and even though I have sucked every single emotion out your husband so that you could flounder about in an emotional desert when you needed him more and for the first time in your married lives, and even though I communicate with your husband via our top-secret, love-connection phones that I went out and got for us--in my name, and for which I am paying--at least five times a day so that I can keep him in constant emotional turmoil by taking up his valuable work-time so I could talk to him about all the pathetic problems I have brought upon myself, and even though I have continued to suckle at your breast for love, friendship, comfort and support with one hand firmly lodged down your husband's pants while my other hand is wrapped around your shoulders holding the knife that I intend to stab you in the back with, I still have a "clear conscience."

Is that scary or what???? I ask you, ladies and gentlemen, what kind of a twisted, perverted and sick person can even think they have a "clear conscience" after doing all that this woman was doing to harm me and my family? Evidently Margaret Lang can claim to have a "clear conscience" after doing everything in her power to destroy my family. I think this pretty much explains what kind of person Margaret Lang is.

[not dazed or confused]

Here are a few other points I would like to make before I get into the lie-filled lawsuit that the Lang’s brought against GGWO and its pastor.

First point: You have probably noticed that I have not used any names except the names of the Lang's—Al and Margaret (and a few other names that are not significant to this story). My reason for doing this is because I believe all the others—the Tae Kwan Do instructor, the pastor, Avery the carny man (no last name used), and my husband (and these men are just the ones we know about)—are completely insignificant when considering the reason this story has been written (in the larger context of the life-destroying lawsuit the Lang’s filed against GGWO and the poor, manipulated, duped, thrown-under-the-bus and burned-at-the- stake pastor).

The men that Margaret has chosen to commit adultery with are merely symptoms of a much larger problem. These men, although they are guilty of defiling themselves and lowering themselves to a spiritually low level (sinners! Oh my!) are NOT the problem. Margaret is, and has always been the problem (her husband is also simply a symptom as well, but since he was just as involved with the lawsuit, I chose to include his name). Also, since none of these men—Margaret’s husband, the instructor, the pastor, the carny man or my husband—have a degree in psychiatry or any training in mental health, it would have been impossible for any of these men to realize that they were/are simply ‘symptoms’ of a larger disease.

As a matter of fact, there are specific chapters in mental health text books that describe, and then warn, future psychiatrists and other mental health workers about women like Margaret. Plus, I feel everyone who has had any involvement in Margaret Lang’s life has been harmed and/or hurt enough by either both Al and Margaret, or by Margaret alone. Please note: I do not feel that Al is anything like Margaret—this poor man has been trying—with limited success—to keep his wife’s vagina in the marriage bed for over a decade, so I think of him as the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dike. Except that Al has every one of his fingers stuck in the dike as he struggles to keep his marriage, his sanity and his family together. Al simply reacts—albeit in anger, rage and jealousy—to Margaret’s actions and behavior. I mean, seriously, would any of you even consider being married to a woman like Margaret, or consider even having any type of relationship with a woman like Margaret once you had a full grasp of the kind of woman she is? Who knows how much longer it will be before Margaret finds another man who is “just like a brother” to her?

Second point: You will notice that I spend a great deal of time describing Margaret’s character. The reason for this is that in order to gain a better understanding of the true meaning of the lawsuit against GGWO, it is important that sufficient knowledge of Margaret’s character be both acknowledged and understood. My description of Margaret’s character is based on my very intimate involvement with her which included nearly every single night and every weekend for over 1 ½ years. As a matter of fact, it is likely that I spent more time with Margaret in that span of time than her own husband would have spent with her in the same amount of time. Margaret’s character needs to be considered in the context of the lawsuit since it was Margaret’s character that lead to the lawsuit in the first place.

Third point: Although I have referred to Margaret as a “narcissist,” etc., please note that I have absolutely no way of knowing if she is a narcissist, or if she does, in fact, suffer from any mental, personality or emotional disorder(s) because I am not a psychiatrist, nor do I have any degree or any training in the mental health field. I have included information about various mental health issues only as a reference, and as an attempt to try to understand exactly what kind of person is capable of doing what Margaret has done to my family, to her family, and to any other family or person who’s hearts or lives she has driven a stake through. I have never met anyone like Margaret before in my life, and I wish to God that I had never, ever met her to begin with (as does, most likely, a lot of other people—including my husband… ahhhh… hindsight… it’s so 20/20, isn’t it?).

Fourth point: I am hoping and praying that once my subjective analysis of Margaret has been posted on this forum, all of these words will stop bouncing around in my head, and that I can finally have some peace from the horror that I naively allowed to slither through my life. I am hoping and praying that getting all of this toxic waste out of my system will be therapeutic for me.

Last point: I will have to apologize for all of my repetitions and my punctuation, spelling and grammar errors as you are getting the ‘rough draft’ and/or the semi-refined draft of what I have written because I found that I did not want to spend a whole lot more time attempting to refine or re-write anymore. Margaret Lang has stolen enough of my life.

[not dazed or confused]

THE LAWSUIT

With every situation that occurs, and depending on how many people are involved in any given situation, there will be different sides and/or stories. Each side is important. I will give you a hypothetical situation to explain:

Mrs. Jones receives a phone call from a police officer, and the officer advises her that her husband has been in an accident, and is being rushed to the local hospital. Mrs. Jones rushes to the hospital, and finds her husband bandaged from head to toe. When he wakes up, Mrs. Jones asks him “What happened?” Mr. Jones tells her and the police officer, “I was driving home from work and out of nowhere a car pulls out right in front of me, and I hit him.” Unfortunately, the police officer advises Mr. and Mrs. Jones, the other driver, Mr. Smith, perished in the accident.

What Mr. Jones told both his wife and the police officer was true. But what Mr. Jones failed to tell them was that he had had a couple beers before he left work and since he had not eaten all day, he felt as if he had drank an entire six-pack. Although his blood alcohol level was within the legal limits, Mr. Jones was still impaired enough to have forgotten to turn on his headlights. It had been raining fiercely on the night of the accident and it was difficult to see. The glare from the street lights made the situation even worse, and it was a combination of that glare and the slight “beer impairment” that Mr. Jones did not notice that he had failed to turn on his headlights.

And Mr. Smith? Well, dead men don’t tell tales do they? If Mr. Smith had survived the accident, and if his side of the story had been heard, he would have explained, “I was headed to work (I work the night-shift), my wife and I had just gotten into a horrible argument. We said some pretty nasty, angry things to each other and we were both hurt. I was probably more than a little bit distracted. I pulled up to the stop sign, I came to a complete stop, and I looked both ways before I pulled out. It was raining that night, visibility was low, and the glare from the street lights didn’t help. I didn’t see anything coming. There were no headlights—nothing. The next thing I know, there are paramedics standing all around and then someone pulls a blanket over my head. And that’s all I remember.”

So, Mr. and Mrs. Jones successfully sue Mr. Smith’s insurance company, and they receive a large sum of money based on the judgment of a handful of insurance adjusters who had reached their judgment based on the only evidence they had—which was slim and one-sided as there were no other witnesses. And what about Mrs. Smith? She will have to live the rest of her life believing that the fight she and her husband had before he left their home was the cause of the accident that killed her husband—that is what lying does to people. Lying and deception destroys. Mr. Smith’s voice was taken from him just as the Lang’s took the pastor’s voice from him via the privacy clause in their lawsuit against GGWO. Which is why we’ve only heard one side of this story, and the side we have heard is full of lies, half-truths, purposely omitted fact and false allegations.

In the Lang scenario, there is only one perfect Judge, and that Judge knows everything there is to know about the “Al Lang Story,” and thank goodness for that—can you imagine being judged by anyone other than the one perfect Judge? Step into the pastor’s shoes if you want to know what that feels like. God is the one, absolutely perfect Judge because He knows what was in the heart of each person involved—even more so than they know themselves. I am not a judge, but I do know more than what Al Lang would want me to know, and I know that there was a lot of information purposely left out of the “Al Lang Story” that absolutely should have been included. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t because Al Lang used the same kind of “truth” that Mr. Jones used. I am gracefully allowing that there is some truth in the “Al Lang Story,” because I know that in order for his story to be believable, he would have had to include an element of truth.



THNGS MARGARET TOLD ME ABOUT THE LAWSUIT:

In order to fully understand the lies and deception behind the lawsuit against GGWO and the pastor, it is necessary to examine the things Margaret told me concerning the lawsuit and the pastor, and it is absolutely necessary to examine and compare what Margaret told me with the body of “Al Lang Story” (which will follow this portion). Not everything that I have listed was discussed while speaking directly about the lawsuit—some of these issues were talked about in passing during non-lawsuit related conversations over the course of the time I was acquainted with Margaret. The lawsuit issue always ‘nagged’ at me because the combination and the correlation of things Margaret told me and the lawsuit simply did not make any sense:

1) Margaret told me that the lawsuit was ‘wrong,’ and that both her husband and their friend ‘Cordell’ talked her into signing the papers to punish any others who had done what this particular pastor had been accused of. Margaret knew when she signed the legal document that the pastor would simply be the scapegoat for the sins of others, and she did not seem to be the slightest bit concerned about the ‘fall-out’ in this pastor’s life after GGWO received the legal documents.

2) Margaret told me she and Al received a $300,000 settlement—after their attorney took his cut.

3) Margaret told me the pastor who had been accused acted like a gentlemen throughout his involvement with Margaret, and Margaret told me the pastor did not use any type of force or coercion.

4) Margaret told me she approached the pastor who has been accused as a “friend” with whom she had previously worked and with whom she already felt was “like a brother” to her. Margaret claims she did not approach this pastor either in his capacity as a pastor or as a marriage counselor—only as a “friend.”

5) Margaret claims she was in love with the pastor, she claims she was no longer in love with her husband—and hadn’t been for a very long time—and that she just wanted out of her marriage. Margaret claimed she did not reach out for ‘marriage counseling’ because she did not want her marriage saved—she just wanted to be helped out of her marriage (saved from her marriage, actually), and she claims she just needed someone to talk to.

6)Margaret claimed she knew what she was doing because she was in love with the pastor and she wanted to be with him.

7) Margaret told me that Al sent porno to the pastor’s office in an attempt to destroy that pastor. Margaret also said that Al used some type of e-mail to “set- up” the pastor although we did not discuss exactly what type of “set-up” had taken place (since Al Lang had already sent porno to this man’s church office as a way to discredit him, the type of “set-up” was, most likely, just as despicable). Margaret also told me about a few other things Al did out of anger, revenge and jealously to the pastor and his family, but I will not include that information in this story because I do not want to hurt anyone who has already been hurt enough.

8) Margaret begged and pleaded with the pastor to leave his wife and family and be with her, and she offered to leave her two daughters with Al. Margaret also told me the pastor refused to leave his family for her—and that is when she went back to Al.

9) Al did not sell his home to move to Baltimore. The home I believe she was referring (the one that Al claimed he was forced to sell so that he could go ‘rescue’ his wife) was the home she and Al lived in on Rte. 65. That home was purchased by Al’s parents in 1992 for $64,000.00 for their on-again/off-again employed son and his family. Al Lang’s brother currently owns this home and operates his sign business out of it, and that brother purchased the home for $66,000.00 from his own mother in 1999.

10) Margaret showed absolutely no remorse for her part in her involvement with the pastor—in fact, Margaret believed that the pastor (even after the Lang lawsuit) was still in love with her (I am absolutely positive, after having Margaret in my life and after having experienced the real Margaret, that the pastor was no more in love with her than my husband was in love with her—what they were filling was absolutely and categorically NOT love, and I doubt that either one of them, after having emerged from the disaster that is Margaret, would even be able to describe what happened). Margaret also claimed she wanted to see him again (I remember thinking when she said this “Does this woman think he even wants to see her again after all she has done to him, his family, his church and his reputation?” But, once again, I was anesthetized).

11) Margaret was upset that the pastor would not leave his wife or his family for her—even after begging and pleading with him—and she was still hurt and upset about his rejection of her 8 years later.

12) Margaret said absolutely nothing to me to indicate that there was any reason to file a lawsuit against either GGWO or the pastor—and we did, absolutely, talk about this entire situation ‘woman to woman.’ On the contrary, everything Margaret said to me implied exactly the opposite (which was why, the entire time I had Margaret in my life, the ‘lawsuit’ issue kept nagging at me). It was the pastor and his wife who should have filed a restraining order against this woman when she began phone stalking the pastor—just like my husband and I should have filed a restraining order against her when she began phone stalking my husband when he should have been working and making money to pay our bills.

[not dazed or confused]

THE TIMELINE:
The following timeline has been obtained from the “Al Lang Story” with a little extra information obtained from Margaret during my nearly two years with her.

1983: Al Lang begins attending a “Bible Speaks” church in Pittsburgh, PA.

1984-87: Al attends the ‘Steven’s School of the Bible” in Lenox, MA, where he meets Margaret Hadley.

1987: Al Lang and Margaret Hadley get married after a very short period of dating, and an equally short engagement. According to Margaret, she wanted to get married because “all of her friends were getting married,” and it seemed like the right time to do it. Also, according to Margaret, she and Al really did not know each other that well when they got married which is why, she claims, their marriage has always been so unhappy. Also, Al lied—the first of many lies—to Margaret about how much money his parents had given them as a wedding gift, and this was something that she felt set the pattern for their future.

1988: Al and Margaret welcome their first child—Rachel. According to Margaret, Al was not pleased with a pregnancy so soon after their marriage.

1987: Church scandal in Lenox, MA. Al and Margaret move to Baltimore and begin attending the Greater Grace church there.

1992: Al and Margaret move to Pittsburgh, PA, and attend a Greater Grace church located there for about 10 months until a “split took place.”

1992: Al and Margaret welcome their second child—Alexandra.

1994: Al claims the pastor begins to send Margaret cassette tapes of recorded sermons—tapes that she is not interested in hearing. During this time, Al claims there is phone contact between Margaret and the pastor, and that the pastor sent her a birthday card or two (1994 through 1998).

1997, July: Al’s father passes away after Margaret is paid to take care of him for the last six months of his life. Although Margaret claims she would have taken care of him without being paid, Al and Margaret’s finances would not have allowed this.

1997, August: Margaret quits her court reporting internship and “throws herself” into taking Tae Kwon Do lessons. Margaret became attracted to the instructor, and then decided that they needed to be best friends because he was “just like a brother to her.” This was possibly Margaret’s first ‘stalking’ experience.

1998:
· During the summer of 1998, Al and Margaret go ‘on-line.’

· July 10: Margaret and her martial arts instructor have a one-night stand.

o It was a single “separate incident” because, from what Margaret said AND didn’t say, that is all the instructor wanted—a piece of strange.

· Also during the summer of 1998, Al claims Margaret and the pastor “exchange phone calls every Friday night."

o Al was working weekends during this time, so he was gone on Friday nights. What Al doesn’t add in his story is that Margaret was the one initiating the phone calls because Margaret needed a best friend, and, according to Margaret, the pastor was “just like a brother to her.”

o The phone contact began after Margaret’s one-night stand with the Tae Kwon Do instructor because she turned to the pastor—who had been her friend—in her time of need. Margaret advised she contacted the pastor “as a friend,” and not because he was either a pastor or a “marriage counselor.”

· September: Margaret and the pastor communicate via email.

o Since the pastor could not have known what the Lang’s email address was, the only way he could have obtained that information was through either Al or Margaret.

· September: Margaret suggests she and Al obtain marriage counseling though the pastor from Baltimore.

· September: Margaret tells Al that she told the pastor and his father about her one-night stand with her martial arts instructor and claims and/or alleges they told her not to tell Al.

· October: The pastor, as well as two other pastors from Greater Grace travel to Pittsburgh to meet with Al and Margaret.

o The pastor from Baltimore travelled to Pittsburgh at Margaret’s request.

o By this time, Margaret had “thrown herself” into the pastor’s lifestyle since her previous “throwing herself into” someone else’s lifestyle did not succeed.

· October 31: Margaret leaves Pittsburgh and runs off to Baltimore with her sister, Katherine, her sister’s husband, Ed, and the pastor from Baltimore after Margaret threatens to kill herself.

· November 1: Al finds a note Margaret left him before she left for Baltimore advising him she is leaving him, and that he is a “poor husband.”

· November 2: Rather than staying in Pittsburgh after his wife leaves him, Al follows Margaret to Baltimore.

· November: Al, rather than staying in Pittsburgh and getting an attorney to force Margaret to return to their ‘domicile’ with his children, quits his job and sells his house to move to Baltimore to be with the wife who left him because she was unhappy with their life, their marriage and because she considered him to be a “poor husband.” Also, rather than finding his own residence, Al imposes on Margaret’s brother and his family and moves in with them so he can be with the wife who left him (even though she did not want him there).

· November: Al claims an “illicit encounter” between his wife, Margaret, and the pastor.

1999:
· January:
o Al asks Margaret if she has had an affair, and she confesses t having a one-night stand with her martial arts instructor.

o Al discovers approximately 120 e-mail letters between the pastor and Margaret dated from August 1998 through January 1999.

o Al goes to some friends—the Evan’s—and shows them the email correspondence between Margaret and the pastor.

o Margaret threatens to kill herself--again.

o A meeting is called, and Al, Carl Stevens and the pastor discuss the emails.

o Margaret, angry with Al for interfering, spends the night in a hotel.

o Paster Stevens calls Al from Las Vegas.

o Pastor Stevens call Margaret, and requests that the situation between she and the pastor remain between only those who have already been told, and to advise—al Margaret alleges—to refer to Mr. and Mrs. Evans as liars if they tell anyone about the situation. Margaret agrees to do this.

o Margaret leaves for Florida on January 25 to visit her parents.

·February:
o Pastor Stevens calls Al to bring to his attention what he feels is inappropriate attire that she had worn to a church function.

o Margaret continues to speak with the pastor from Florida—often, Al claims, for up to an hour at a time. Margaret also uses her parent’s computer to go on-line (using a different name), so that she can keep in contact with the pastor.

o Pastor calls Al and asks that he “forgive and forget” what has happened, and he requests that Al not tell anyone of the adultery.

·March:
o Al claims he approaches pastor Stevens about 10 times to complain of what he believes is inappropriate behavior between the pastor and his wife, Margaret.

o Al alleges he is feeling manipulated, managed and avoided by Pastor Stevens.

o Al finds out that a mutual friend of his and Margaret’s has been “hitting” on her.

o Pastor Stevens goes on vacation; Al goes looking for his wayward wife once again, and discovers his wife speaking with the pastor behind the school.

o When Pastor Stevens returns from vacation, Al goes to him and complains to him about finding Margaret and the pastor speaking with each other behind the school—Pastor Stevens assures Al that he “will take care of it.”

o During this entire time, Margaret is insistent about sitting in the front row of church.

·April:
o Al claims his marriage is getting worse (one would think that when one’s wife leaves a note telling her husband he is a poor husband, and then leaves the state that the marriage is already at its worst?). Margaret tells Al to “take the girls and move back to Pittsburgh.”

o Al calls Margaret’s mother in Florida, and Margaret’s mother accuses those involved with her daughter to be “wolves in sheep’s clothing.”

o Al takes his daughters back to Pittsburgh.

o Margaret calls Al a few days later to tell him she wanted to come home. According to Margaret, she made one last attempt to get the pastor to leave his wife, his daughter and the church to run off with her, and he refused. Margaret told me she begged and pleaded with him, but he still said no. Margaret believes that the only reason he said “no” was because he was being forced to say “no” by his father. Margaret was completely incapable of believing that the pastor said “no” to make her go away.

o Margaret, after being in Pittsburgh with Al for only a few weeks, tells Al, while sobbing, “I know I’m not supposed to, but sometimes I really hate them for what they did.” Al does not know that Margaret is referring to the pastor’s final rejection of her in front of his father (and a few others, and as was told to me by Margaret).

MY LIFE ADDITION TO THE TIMELINE:
2007, early spring: My family and I were unfortunate enough to meet Margaret Rose Hadley Lang, and Margaret “throws herself into” the things that my husband was/is interested in. Margaret Lang would turn out to be our biggest and our worst nightmare.

· Margaret meets Avery, the carny guy, and she “throws herself into” what he was interested in (Harleys and the whole Harley image).

· Margaret agrees to meet Avery, the carny guy, in Florida for Thanksgiving and she begins starving herself so she will look her very physical best for when they first consummate their relationship. Margaret lies to her entire family about where she is going and why.

· Avery, the carny guy (after several months of constant phone contact, and after he breaks up with his long-time girlfriend—a woman with whom Margaret had absolutely no concern or empathy for), does not work out for Margaret, so she “throws herself” back into everything that my husband is interested in (sport motorcycles and, laughingly enough, lawn care).

· My husband and I became, after official seduction and indoctrination, members of the “Cult of Margaret.” Bear in mind that while this was going on, neither my husband nor I were in the healthiest situation in our lives. To understand why I refer to our time with Margaret as being in the “Cult of Margaret,” I will explain after the "Al Lang Story" has been revisited).

[not dazed or confused]

THE "AL LANG STORY"

It is important that the “Al Lang Story” be revisited since it was that story that formed the foundation of the lied-filled lawsuit that was brought against GGWO and its pastor. I have taken excerpts from that story, and I have posed some questions for Al Lang. I have purposely avoided addressing certain issues because I see no reason to cause any further harm or distress to the pastor or his family by digging up the ugly, stinking dead cat that Margaret Lang threw right in the middle of their life.

Please note as you read what Al Lang has written in his diatribe against GGWO and the pastor that he spends a great deal of time alluding to the contents of “e-mail” letters and phone calls between the pastor and Margaret, that he takes certain sentences or partial sentences written by the pastor completely out of context, and that, especially, he does NOT include anything that his own wife had written. Also, please note that Al refers to contact between his wife and the pastor as either the pastor “maintaining contact” or “they maintained contact” although it was NOT the pastor “maintaining contact,” it was Margaret, his own wife, who was maintaining contact with the pastor.

Additionally, Al applies—because he is assuming, and because he has a clear agenda—some kind of sinister twist to the most innocent of actions by the pastor. I have experienced the “my conscience is clear” reality of Margaret Lang, and I know exactly what this woman is capable of doing and saying in order to manipulate the truth and cover her own tracks. My questions to Al Lang, as well as my questioning of his “Story” in general, follow each excerpt of his “Story.” Bear in mind that my questions to Al are in direct relation to my own experience with Margaret Lang, and questioning his “Story” is something I would not have been able to do two years ago because Margaret Lang is someone who needs to be fully experienced in order to be fully comprehended. And even if you have been unfortunate enough to have fully experienced Margaret Lang, you walk away from the disaster that is her shaking your head in disbelief and wondering “what in the hell just happened?”

THE AL LANG STORY:
“This is my account of the destructive abuse my family encountered with an organization we trusted.”

·What I would like to know, Al, exactly what “destructive abuse” are you referring? With every organization—and churches have proven to be no exception—there is a tendency toward bureaucracy, there is a bit of ‘cronyism,’ and sometimes, unfortunately, there is some nepotism thrown in for good measure. I would not consider attempting to “cover-up” your wife’s adultery to be “destructive abuse.” It was simply a stupid, “human” thing to do.


·Or, are you referring, Al, to the alleged “destructive abuse” your family encountered AFTER the real, sick and twisted “destructive abuse” your own wife wrought on that organization and members of that organization through her email and phone stalking, her neediness and hyper-emotionalism?


·Is attempting to cover up adultery biblical, scriptural or otherwise? Nope. Not at all. “Cover-ups,” or attempted “cover-ups” concerning such matters are completely and absolutely human, and this has been going on for centuries (as has adultery). So, Al, please explain to me how stalking, lying to, manipulating and seducing a man of God, and then going on to lie, manipulate and “bear false witness against” that man of God is either biblical, scriptural or otherwise? What came first, Al? The chicken or the egg?

THE AL LANG STORY:
“Pastor Steven's son “the pastor” maintained contact with my wife by phone, a few times during the year, and in between my wife's visits to GGWO headquarters in Baltimore, in addition to sending her birthday cards. In 1998 we went online. “The pastor” continued contacting my wife now by e-mail. My wife and I were friendly with “the pastor.” He was more so friendlier with her. I made the mistake of overlooking this, since he was a pastor and Pastor Steven's son. Also, “the pastor” and my wife had known each other previous to our marriage, and Paul was already married to a quiet, attractive Christian woman named Barbara.”

·So what Al? It is very likely and most likely probable that the pastor “sent tapes to Margaret” in a very ministerial way. Perhaps she had already been complaining about you and stalking this pastor by phone by this time, and perhaps, Al, the pastor simply wanted her to strengthen her ties to God to get her off his back (my husband refers to Margaret going back to her husband as “getting the monkey off my back”).

·Ahhh… the pastor “maintained contact?” I doubt that very much, Al. It is more likely, because I have been a witness to this in my own life, that it was Margaret “maintaining contact” with the pastor. Was the pastor, especially considering his occupation, just supposed to ignore your wife’s calls? He sent her a birthday card? To your address? Was this supposed to be a secret somehow? How many other birthday cards did the man send out during the year and to whom?

·Well, Al, it would have been pretty difficult for the pastor to know your e-mail address unless, of course, he was given that e-mail address by either you or your wife. Were the e-mails supposed to be private—just between him and Margaret? If so, Al, how would the pastor know this unless your wife told him? Where are these e-mails? You state in your “Story” that you printed them out, so where are they, and was there actually any investigation concerning the contents and/or origination of those e-mails?

THE AL LANG STORY:
“On occasion my wife relayed to me careless remarks and observations that the pastor made about me. She did not readily challenge these occasional comments since he was her boss, but she felt obligated to mention them to me. I ignored these comments as insignificant, and since I did not want to confront our pastor's son, and my wife's boss and friend.”

·It has been my experience, Al, that Margaret initiates these “careless remarks and observations” about you, and she did not challenge them because she agreed with them—if the pastor ever did, in fact, make any “careless remarks and observations” about you in the first place. While your wife was a part of my life, I rarely—if ever—heard her say anything positive about you, so don’t go blaming the ‘lied-to’ for being a victim of your wife’s lies (unless, of course, she told the truth about you?). Ask her.

THE AL LANG STORY:
“After we moved to Pennsylvania and when I was aware of the pastor's communication with my wife I would casually ask her what he had to say. Occasionally my wife would mention the suggestion by the pastor that we belonged back in Baltimore at "home base" as it was sometimes referred to. Margaret diplomatically indicated to him that where we live was where God called us to for this time.”

·You were aware of the pastor’s communication with your wife, but were you aware of your wife’s communication with the pastor? It has been my experience, Al, that Margaret is a ‘phone stalker’ (and I have phone records to prove this, plus, I have written down all the phone calls your wife made to my husband—while he was supposed to be working—on the top-secret, love-connection phones that she both purchased the plan for and paid for).


·The pastor did not state, out of the blue, that either you or your wife “belonged back in Baltimore at ‘home base’” without that suggestion first coming from Margaret. It has also been my experience, Al, that Margaret tells each person in her life what she thinks they need to hear—and what she thinks they need to hear is not always entirely true (remember, we are talking about the “I have a clear conscience” woman).

THE AL LANG STORY:
“In my later review of the pastor’s e-mail communications to Margaret I noticed he began to question my loyalty to" the ministry.’"

·It’s highly probable, Al, that the pastor questioned your “loyalty to the ‘ministry,’” because by this time your wife had already “thrown herself” into the teachings and goings-on at Greater Grace just as she had “thrown herself” into her Tae Kwon Do lessons—because she had already started stalking the pastor and attempting to find something in common with him in which she could relate just as she did with the Tae Kwon Do instructor. Are you starting to see the pattern here?

THE AL LANG STORY:
“As a marriage counselor and pastor, the pastor took advantage of at least 5 factors; (1) Margaret's emotional vulnerability and unresolved guilt for a separate incident with her martial arts instructor, (2) their past friendship, (3) my questioning of Pastor Steven's twisting of the scripture's, (4) Paul's own mid-life crisis along with his stated his need for a "true friend", and (5) his bizarre anticipation of his own wife's demise as she struggled with radiation treatments.”

·Oh please. “Margaret’s emotional vulnerability and unresolved guilt for a separate incident with her martial arts instructor?” Margaret never felt any guilt for that incident, Al,and that is exactly what she told me. The only guilt (if that's what you want to call it) Margaret felt was in the context that her "separate incident" did not go well for her. From what I understood, it was a one-time “incident” because that is only what the martial arts instructor wanted from her—a one-night stand. And, according to Margaret it wasn’t “sexually satisfying” anyway. Margaret is, and was, about as vulnerable as a pit bull, Al, and I never, ever heard her express any remorse, feelings of true guilt or repentance for that particular little “incident,” and Margaret and I absolutely did talk about it.

·“Their past friendship.” It wasn’t the pastor taking advantage of “their past friendship,” Al, it was Margaret. I know how Margaret conducts herself around married men, Al—I have witnessed this ugly behavior. Margaret’s “friendship” with a married man is nothing but foreplay to her, because Margaret is either not aware of, or simply ignores, the boundaries she, as a married woman, should have between herself and any man—married or otherwise. I am a woman, Al, and I know of what I speak.

·“My questioning of” the father pastor’s “twisting of the scriptures.” How should your questioning of this man’s alleged “twisting of the scriptures” be used as any “advantage” by this pastor? Please explain why Margaret should even care about this? Unless, of course, your wife used your “questioning” of Pastor Stevens alleged “twisting of the scriptures” to develop a deeper connection with the pastor, and to make herself feel closer and more ‘in-line’ with both the pastor and his father for her own advantage? Margaret has the ability, and this has been my experience, to “discover” common interests with those she wants to attach herself to. This situation is identical to all of Margaret’s other adulteries—she really “throws herself” into what the man finds important, and I really don’t feel this situation is any different.

·The pastor’s “own mid-life crisis along with his stated need for a “true friend.” Perhaps, Al, that is all Paul wanted. Margaret comes on strong, Al, and she promises innocent friendship and love and support to those she targets. I know this. My husband knows this. My daughter knows this. Many of my friends and family know this. “Friendship” for Margaret means something entirely different than does “friendship” for the rest of us. And what, I wonder, preceded the pastor’s stated need for a “true friend?” What did Margaret say to him that would elicit that type of statement? How long had she been stalking him and telling him how much she needed him, and telling him what a horrible husband you were before he made that statement?

·“His bizarre anticipation of his wife’s demise as she struggled with radiation treatments.” Wouldn’t it have been nice, Al, especially since you claim that Margaret was an “emotionally stable, loving, caring, nurturing” woman, if Margaret had actually been supportive of both the pastor and his wife when they were going through this rather than stalking the pastor by phone and e-mail with her own problems, demanding all of the pastor’s time and emotion to deal with her own problems, and then , finally, attempting to split the pastor and his wife apart? Wouldn’t it have been more fitting for your wife to send both the pastor and his wife cards and e-mails etc, that expressed real, heart-felt concern for their situation? Yep… it would have, Al, except, as I learned the hard way, Margaret has little to zero concern for the problems of others—it is, and always has been, all about her. I have seen nothing, during my entire experience with her that would indicate otherwise.

[not dazed or confused]

THE AL LANG STORY:
“In September '98 Paul told my wife that she belonged back in Baltimore and invited her to come for a few days by herself just before her thirty-second birthday. Birthdays were always difficult for Margaret emotionally. Paul told Margaret that she "needed to get to Baltimore" referring to the church there and that he "wanted to help you get your life back". In this context, Paul's counsel was in direct conflict with what Jesus told his disciples that "whoever attempts to save their life in such a manner shall lose it... " Luke…. This motel arrangement proved later to be an occasion for sin among many which I discovered later. He also posed the question to my wife as to whether I as her husband really loved and cared for her spiritual welfare. Margaret sounded out his question to me at this time. In frustration, I responded that I considered his questions strange, unfounded and of insincere motive. She suggested that we seek marriage counseling from him.”

·Oh really? And exactly what did Margaret tell him that brought about the pastor’s suggestion that your “wife belonged back in Baltimore?” Margaret has been bad-mouthing you, and telling everyone how miserable she is with you, even before you celebrated your first anniversary with her, and I know this because this is what she told me.

· Why did the pastor suggest to your wife that he “wanted to help” her get her “life back,” and why did he pose the “question” to your wife “as to whether” you, as “her husband really loved and cared for her spiritual welfare?” What was your wife telling the pastor to elicit such responses? What was your wife suggesting to the pastor? Most likely she was telling him pretty much what she told me and my husband. Your wife told me she had only been happy with you only during the first few months of your marriage, and that the only reason she wanted to get married was because all her friends were getting married, and that you two didn’t even really know each other that well because you had made the decision to marry so quickly after you met. Do I think that has anything to do with you? Absolutely not. Being a mortal man, Al, you were obviously not the “ideal” she had been seeking. No mortal man could possibly be that “ideal.” Not you, not the martial arts instructor, not the pastor, not the carny man and, certainly, not my husband.

· Also, how do you know that the “motel arrangement proved later to be an occasion for sin among many?” Exactly what occurred there?



THE AL LANG STORY:
“…It wasn't until months later when I discovered copies of about 100 plus e- mail letters between Paul and my wife, that I saw how Paul took this as a personal "attack against the ministry". Being considered now as an "enemy of the ministry" whenever I would later visit my wife and kids at Greater Grace World Outreach, I was to be viewed as a "spy in the camp" according to Paul's twist of a biblical term.”

·Where are the “copies of about 100 e-mail letters” between the two of them? And why copies? Did Margaret print them out? How many of these “e-mail letters” were from your wife to the pastor? How many times did your wife initiate that particular contact between herself and the pastor? Is it possible, Al, that your wife had already begun to stalk this poor man? It has been my experience, Al, and my husband’s experience, that most—if not all—communication originates from your wife. Also, since your wife was calling my husband 4-5 times a day—stalking him—for many months, 100 plus e-mail letters in a time span over a month is insignificant.

·Perhaps you were a “spy in the camp” because that is what Margaret—not the pastor—wanted everyone to believe you were. Your wife is very convincing, Al.



THE AL LANG STORY:
“Ten days previous to this Paul called me in late October and offered to drive the five hours to Pittsburgh to take us to lunch and offer his counseling for our marriage. I considered it a strange offer but not wanting to offend my wife, I went along in order to make her happy and since I wasn't aware of their blossoming affair. Paul Stevens came to Pittsburgh on Thursday Oct. 29th, 1998, and brought two pastors with him (Scott Robinson & David Duff). Paul acted warm, friendly, and concerned to help us. Months later as I read an e-mail letter dated Oct. 23rd, I read that he came with the intention to question me about my differences with the ministry and to attempt to get me to react for his own amusement in front of my wife, and to "plant a kiss on your lips in front of Al" as he wrote teasingly to Margaret much different from what he so nicely told me by phone previous to his visit when he sounded as just an old friend who had been asked to help us work things out. While the two pastors Scott, Dave and I chatted in my home, my wife offered to show Paul around. While in another room, Paul initiated an intimate kiss on the lips, including embrace of my wife to which she submitted. This was later bragged about on one of the e-mail letters dated Oct.30, 1998, by Paul.”

·Was it really a “blossoming affair,” Al? Exactly what did Margaret tell the pastor that “hooked him?” Who asked the pastor to “drive the five hours to Pittsburgh to take” you and Margaret to “lunch and offer his counseling for your marriage?” Something about you? Some intimate details of her life (or your life) that she should not have expressed to another man—much less a married man? That’s what Margaret does, Al. Margaret shares overly-intimate information with her prey in order to ‘hook’ them. I have experienced this. I wonder what she told the martial arts instructor and the carny man?

·If they did, in fact, “kiss,” how do you know that he initiated that kiss? Is that what your “I have a clear conscience” wife told you? And what was Margaret doing at the time? Was she showing the pastor the high-tech features of her new coffee machine? Or was Margaret looking at him with tear-filled eyes and quivering chin with that “someone just please save me from my miserable life and marriage” look that I have had the very unfortunate experience of seeing myself?

THE AL LANG STORY:
“Margaret left with” the pastor “ shortly after midnight on Halloween Oct. 31, 1998…”


·Why Al? Why did Margaret leave with the pastor? It was because the pastor, Margaret’s sister, Katherine, and her husband, Ed, all believed what Margaret was telling them about you. Margaret is very convincing when she talks ‘smack’ about you, Al. I fell for it, and others have fallen for it. Margaret uses her infamous “half-truths” and her just as infamous “omissions of fact” to tell her stories. Unless all those stories are true? You tell us, Al.

THE AL LANG STORY:
“The e-mails exchanged between my wife and Paul revealed an ongoing questioning of my wife's purpose in Gods plan for her life. Among those things questioned by Paul was whether or not I as her husband was "fully one with the ministry". He told her I was "off' which according to the coded language of Greater Grace World Outreach implied I was….”

·Why would this pastor—or anyone for that matter—even question your wife’s “purpose in God’s plan for her life” if she did not first pose this question first? Once again, Al, what was your wife saying to this man that would make him even question “God’s plan” in her life?

·What was Margaret telling the pastor that allowed him to question “whether or not” you as “her husband was ‘fully one with ministry?’” And why all of a sudden was she so interested in your being “fully one with the ministry?” The same reason she “threw herself” in her Tae Kwon do lessons? You have stated in your story, Al, that Margaret had made statements such as “I’m so glad we live in Pittsburgh…” I…

·If the pastor mentioned you were “off,” Al, it is because that is what your wife leads everyone to believe. You can thank your wife, Al, if you go through life with people looking at you as if you were “off.”

THE AL LANG STORY:
“On the contrary Paul implied to my wife of 11 years that she had good cause to leave me. While I always knew I was far from perfect, and that marriage itself is a full time occupation I felt ambushed. Because I may have been "a great father, and a great provider", I was considered to be "a poor husband" she told me Halloween Day before I left for work. Margaret told me this in a very cold distant tone with glazed eyes. Her personality was completely different from the one I had known for the past 12 years. I wept while saying "I'm so sorry". That was the last time we ever sat together in that house as husband and wife. In past years, I frequently attempted to persuade my wife to open up with me if she appeared to keep things in and to herself. This sudden Definition of me as a poor husband was then and only then defined to me in terms that I discovered Paul Stevens coaching my wife in her vulnerability to articulate in their e-mail communications. At the time, not aware of the Deception taking place I assumed ownership for what happened…..She wanted Paul to counsel us. I suggested seeking someone who knew neither of us as friends, who may offer some objectivity. I was told take it or leave it. So, not yet knowing about the already ongoing affair between them, I began to take all the blame for our sudden failed marriage, not knowing I was being set-up. I began to visit my wife and two children in Baltimore once a week. With the intention of moving to Baltimore, I gave immediate notice to my employers that I was quitting my job within two weeks. I put our house up for sale, and my brother bought it two months later.”

·What reasons did your wife give the pastor that would lead him to believe “she had good cause to leave” you? Once again, Al, you are leaving out the most important parts of this whole story. What was she telling him? If you felt ambushed, Al, it was because you wife was leading the assault, and I have watched her do this to you while she was in my life. I know her. Margaret told you she considered you to “be a poor husband,” because that is what she believes. No one makes her believe that. She comes up with that all on her own. Even though I did not believe her at first, Al, she wore me down. She exhausted me—just as she exhausted the pastor—and if anyone could be considered “vulnerable” in this situation it would be those of us who were trying to be good listeners and trying to be supportive of wife. I could not bear to hear her say the same things about you over and over and over, which is why I, in absolute desperation, advised her to either crap or get off the pot. I told her to make a dam decision, already.

·The pastor was absolutely NOT coaching your wife, Al. That, I know, is an outright and disgusting lie. If the pastor was giving her advice it was because he, like me, had just grown tired of her constant complaints about you, her misery with you, etc, etc, etc (and so on , and so on, and so on—seriously), and her inability to be proactive in her own life and to make her own decisions. I know this was wrong now, but your wife is exhausting, and it’s possible she could have even caused Methuselah an early death with her constant whining and complaining about you.

·The “Deception” you speak of, Al, was your wife’s deception. She was the one who promised to be faithful to you—know one else did. It was your wife, Al, once again, who was deceiving you. Unfortunately the rest of us, once Margaret has targeted us, and once she has inserted herself in our lives, have also become victims of your wife’s penchant for deception.

[not dazed or confused]

THE AL LANG STORY:
“My wife Margaret had become uncharacteristically hostile in her language & manner toward me. In my 12 years of knowing her, I had never seen a hint of this distinct personality change. She displayed a major personality overhaul towards me, saying things she appeared scripted to say such as " this is the Church God has called me to & if you don't like it you can f--- off' and "take our two girls and leave, this is where God has called me".

· Perhaps Al, after 12 years she simply wanted her marriage over. Perhaps she was tired of all the fighting. What makes you think there was anything else to it than that? Margaret told me about your volatile life together, so I really do not believe that she had never been “hostile in her language and manner toward” you previous to this situation. To claim Margaret “appeared scripted to say” things is just you swimming in the big river of Denial.

· Margaret was definitely not scripted to say anything to you, Al. Anything she said to you is what she chose to say to you because she wanted out of the marriage. No one was forcing her to say anything she did not want to say. Your wife is a big girl, Al. If you pay attention to the pattern, Al, it is obvious that Margaret had simply “thrown herself” into the “Church God” had “called” her to. She does that, you know.

THE AL LANG STORY:
“Late at night on Jan 90' 1999 I finally asked Margaret if she was having an affair or had one. She was waiting for me to ask she said, & confessed to having a one-time fling with her former martial arts instructor back in Pittsburgh, on July 10th, 1998. I thought back to what may have led up to that time. 1997 was full of life's changing events. Margaret had marked her 30th birthday months before and found it difficult emotionally. We were about to celebrate 10 years of seemingly happy marriage. My Dad passed away in July 1997 after Margaret and I became closer to him attending to his personal care on a daily basis his last 6 months. In August 1997 Margaret suddenly announced she was quitting her job as a court reporter after 4 years of training and 6 months of internship. Margaret joined my daughter who was already taking Tae Kwon Do lessons and threw herself into learning all she could. I learned later that the instructor had a habit of "hitting on" women and it took him 10 solid months to continuously work on Margaret. During that time she attempted to see what my reaction would be if I found out. She asked me in a subtle manner one day in July 1998; "What would you do if he ever tried to hit on me?" I told her that I would confront him in a not too friendly manner. I probed her as to whether I needed to be check this matter out.”

· Margaret had a one-night fling because she became attracted to Rachel’s Tae Kwon Do instructor, and she went after him. That is why she quit her internship and “threw herself” into “learning all she could.” How many lessons did she take a week? How often did she call this married Tae Kwon Do instructor? Did Margaret stalk the instructor like she did the pastor and my husband? Did she constantly stroke the instructor’s ego behind his wife’s back? The “instructor had a habit of “hitting on” women?” So? As a married woman, Al, I can assure you that it makes no difference if a man “hits on” me or not—the answer will always be “no.” Women are the gatekeepers of their vaginas, Al. And it did not take the instructor “10 solid months to continuously work on Margaret.” My experience with Margaret has proven the exact opposite, and opposite is that it took Margaret 10 months to wear the instructor down. I’ve seen your wife in action, and I know what she does, and how she behaves around married men—remember, friendship with a married man is nothing but foreplay for Margaret.

· I’m sure Margaret loved your father very much, Al, but the fact is she got paid for “attending to his personal care on a daily basis for 6 months.

· A “seemingly happy marriage?” Where were you during this “seemingly happy marriage?” According to Margaret, it wasn’t anywhere close to being happy—not even “seemingly.”

· Margaret finds birthdays “difficult emotionally” because she puts so much emphasis on her physical appearance, and the thought of getting older fills her with horror and dread. I know this because she told me this.

THE AL LANG STORY:

"No" she insisted and "if it did happen I could handle him." "Are you sure?" I probed further. "Yes" she insisted in an annoyed manner. As I asked her if she wanted to take lessons elsewhere she insisted no it was more convenient where she was. I also was working a lot during this time, as our lives ran non-stop….I noticed Paul Stevens seemed anxious to speak with her privately after service & they did for 20 minutes, concluding with a long embrace as I watched them from a short distance. That day & next Margaret's disposition changed back to a very quiet & despondent manner, weeping a lot but refusing to say much as to what was truly bothering her. The next day my curiosity got the better of me as never before, as I opened up her e-mail past and present. There it was in over 120 e-mail letters between her & 'the pastor' between August 1998 and Jan 1999, including dates, motels, and an illicit encounter in a motel room on Nov.7th,' 98 during a fundraising trip to Dover Plains, New York, where the pastor preached and she volunteered as secretary for the group of church singers they brought along. I learned that in May of 1998 the pastor invited Margaret to a fundraising banquet in Baltimore for the church radio broadcast. When she accepted that's when he told her he loved her and needed her back in his life as he just had marked his 41St birthday and wasn't handling it too well."

· Margaret taking her Tae Kwon Do lessons “where she was” was “more convenient” because she was attracted to that particular instructor, and she was thoroughly enjoying the attention he was paying her. Plain and simple.

· Perhaps Margaret was despondent after speaking to the pastor after services, Al, because the pastor had told her she had to stop stalking him. And of course she wouldn't share that information with you, would she? My husband tried to get away from your wife a number of times. To get away, he would go to the basement or out to the garage, but Margaret would follow him like a lost little puppy looking for a treat. When my husband tried to distance himself from her, she would follow him and corner him when I was not around and harass him with “why aren’t you talking to me,” and “are you mad at me” questions, and statements like “I need you,” and “you are like a brother to me,” etc., etc., etc. She hunted him down, Al. She did all of this right in front of me yet behind my back because she knew that both my husband and I had been beaten down, we were both vulnerable, and that we were too exhausted to understand exactly what was going on. My husband brought this to my attention, but I thought she was being a “concerned friend.” She wasn’t being a concerned friend, Al, she was following my husband around and stalking him like she was in heat or something—it’s as simple and pathetic and ugly as that.


- A "long embrace?" Your wife was probably refusing to let go.


- 120 plus emails? Insignificant compared to the number of times your wife was stalking my husband via phone--sometimes 5 times a day... and I have the phone records to prove this, Al. Where are these emails, Al? Have they been examined by an outside source to verify there authenticity? I know what you have done to the pastor in the past in an attempt to defame him, Al, so I'm a bit skeptical about the contents of these infamous emails.



- And that is "when he told her?" And you believed this? Remember Al, we are talking about your "I have a clear conscience" wife here. I wouldn't believe anything this woman says--her past has proven that your wife is more than a little loose with the facts when she is "on the scent" of a potential target. It has been my experience (unfortunately), that your wife tells people what she believes they need to hear.

[not dazed or confused]

THE AL LANG STORY:
“During summer 1998 they went on-line together exchanging phone calls late on Friday nights, and engaged in flirtatious banter and teasing while critiquing their spouses. At the time the pastor’s wife was undergoing a series of radiation treatments for a thyroid problem which left her feeling sick, and The pastor suggested that she (his wife) may not live anyway, and that "God has a way of bringing people together" alluding to he and Margaret…..Margaret reverted back to her uncharacteristic cursing at me and attempting to berate me. Much of what she said did not sound like the person I had known for 12 years. Instead it was coming from the premise that she had to "resist Satan even when he is influencing your husband" as she would later rebuke me. I kept this information to myself as I felt deeply betrayed and hurt by the person I love the most and by two people who stood in a place of spiritual authority and seemed willing accomplices in separating Margaret and I further apart.”

· “During the summer of 1998 they went on-line together?” Once again, Al, how did the pastor get your email address? Did you give it to him? Margaret and the pastor were speaking on the phone on Friday nights, Al, because you worked on those nights, and Margaret waited for you to leave so she make her phone call to the pastor. Don’t blame him because your wife was calling him and telling him how miserable she was in her marriage—blame Margaret.

· Also, once again, Al, when the pastor’s wife was undergoing radiation treatments, why didn’t your “emotionally stable, loving, caring, nurturing” wife reach out to this family with love, caring and nurturing? That’s what an “emotionally stable” woman would do. Why did Margaret choose this time to start stalking the pastor? Maybe, as I have experienced this in my own life, because that particular family was “down” at that time it was easier for Margaret to stick her foot in the door of their marriage. There is no possible way that Margaret could have gotten away with all her flirting and stalking if that pastor—or my husband—had been at the top of his game, and if his wife had not been ill. Do you have any idea what a man—especially a good, caring family man like the pastor—goes through when a member of their family becomes ill or otherwise incapacitated and there is nothing they can do to “fix it?” Ask a counselor, Al.

· Flirtatious banter and teasing? Critiquing their spouses? “Flirting” is relative. What was Margaret saying about you? Where are these emails? Either way, Al, I can guarantee you—if any of this did take place—that it was Margaret doing most—if not all—of the flirting, the teasing and the critiquing. I watched her do this in my home.

· How do you know the pastor was “alluding” to anything? Where is this e-mail? What did Margaret say before you claim the pastor “alluded” to anything?

· No one was a “willing accomplice” in separating you and your wife. Your wife reached out for help either with your marriage, or she was reaching for help to get out of her marriage, and because some people are hardwired to help, they offered their help. I did the same thing. It’s not as if I was an enemy of either you or your marriage, Al. On the contrary, I tried to get Margaret to look at you differently on several different occasions, but her mind had already been made up. And then eventually she wears everyone down (she’s good at doing that), and gets them to believe things about you that may, or may not, be true. I can assure you, Al that just about every single person your wife “reaches out to” does exactly the same thing. No one jumps on the “Al is a monster” wagon without getting a considerable ‘foot up’ from your wife. Margaret is very convincing—especially when she talks and weeps and cries about you and how miserable she is in her marriage (it takes two people to make a marriage, and, in your defense, I didn’t witness Margaret applying any marital values or true commitment to either you or your marriage—also, many of her complaints about you were fairly ridiculous, but she makes them sound so much worse, and she does make others believe that your are “off” when she complains about you).

· “Margaret said “she had to ‘resist Satan even when he is influencing your husband?’” Looks like she had already “thrown herself” into the lifestyle of the person she had targeted to be her new best friend and “brother.” Simple as that. What exactly were you doing and/or saying to her that made her believe you were being “influenced” by Satan? Were you talking, talking and talking?

“My six-year old daughter Alexandra developed the nervous habit of pulling on her hair gradually opening up a balding spot on top of her head of three inches. She was quiet and clinging towards me a lot during this time, climbing in bed beside me at night since my wife slept alone during these months. My wife refused sexual intimacy with me for the most part during this time and ignored our children for most of the time we spent as a family.”

· Wow… I was doing basically the same thing while Margaret was a part of my life. I guess that what having your wife around does to a person.

“I watched the woman I love change from an emotionally stable, loving, caring, nurturing person, who treasured her family and loved God by every expression to someone who was caustic, angry, short tempered and depressed most of her day. She could put on a cool pleasant face in front of others but not the children and I.”

· So far, Al, and I experienced Margaret in my life for nearly 2 years, there has been absolutely no proof or evidence that Margaret is “an emotionally stable, loving, caring, nurturing person, who treasured her family and loved God.” Margaret never seemed completely emotionally stable while she was in my life, and although I kept waiting for some emotional stability, I saw none. Also, although Margaret talks a lot about being “loving, caring” and “nurturing,” I did not once witness her actually being “loving, caring or nurturing.” Margaret always talked about how good she was, and she always talked about how much more she did in her marriage than you did, and most of all, Margaret always talked about how much she wanted to “serve” other people. She wanted to go there to “serve,” she wanted to go here to “serve,” and all she wanted to do was “serve,” “serve” and then “serve” some more. Unfortunately, I listened to her and believed all her “talk,” but in the end the only “service” I ever saw her perform was for her own benefit.

· Margaret “treasured her family and loved God?” Yeah… right… she loved God so much that she went out, stalked and then had a one night stand with her married Tae Kwon Do instructor. That’s how much Margaret loved God. I knew how Margaret lived when I met her. Her lifestyle was absolutely not conducive to “treasuring her family.” She barely spent any time with any member of her family. It was all about exercise—obsessive exercise. Up at 3 a.m. to exercise, shower, off to work, home to eat, and then to bed—and that was all Margaret did. And Margaret did tell me that once her children got to be a certain age she was no longer really interested in being around them. Not that Margaret didn’t love them—she just didn’t want to be around them. She told me she didn’t really know what to do with them. She didn’t know how to entertain them or interact with them. And I certainly witnessed this for the nearly two years she was in my life.

“I stopped at our apartment briefly, saw Margaret, who by this time was sensing I knew something, was very defensive, threatened to leave me and the kids and kill herself if I didn't tell her what I was up to. Not trusting her at this point, and without telling her after arguing back & forth on this for about 45 minutes, I attempted to talk her out of her suicidal intentions, but she left in her car.”

· Very Margaret. Threatening to “kill herself.” She does that a lot doesn’t she, Al. It’s a form of manipulation, Al. Margaret never intended to kill herself. Margaret gets people to “react” when she makes these threats. Healthy people don’t make those kinds of threats, Al, and no one was forcing her to threaten to “kill herself,” and no one ever put her in the position in which she wanted to “kill herself” except herself. She would lie on my couch and talk about “just wanting to die,” and how “painful it was to take another breathe,” etc. Margaret didn’t want to wear seatbelts because, if there was an accident, she just “wanted to die.” And the only other person in her life at that point was you and her. Go figure.

[not dazed or confused]

THE AL LANG STORY:

Just after midnight on Halloween, Oct 31, 1998, the pastor had Driven five hours from Baltimore MD., with her sister Catherine, & her husband (Pastor) Ed Morneault to our home in Pittsburgh, Pa, to "rescue" my wife because she "threatened to kill herself' if they did not come. I was at work this night, and not home. There had never been physical, mental or verbal abuse exchanged between Margaret and I, but as she was caught in the emotional mindset of this burgeoning affair all they both needed was a reason to steal away. They had two reasons; she was "suicidal" according to their agreed plan and I was "a poor husband" with no chance to openly Deal with or challenge this unless of course the pastor himself could act as our marriage counselor. She and the pastor had known each other prior to our marriage and often acted chummy in the past reducing any objectivity he might have. Secondly but not least, the pastor had no formal training or professional certification as a counselor of any type. He was put in position by his dad who founded and directed the church they represented. But then I had expressed these reservations to Margaret previously. We discussed seeking marriage counseling that summer. She wanted the pastor to counsel us. I suggested seeking someone who knew neither of us as friends, who may offer some objectivity. I was told take it or leave it. So, not yet knowing about the already ongoing affair between them, I began to take all the blame for our sudden failed marriage, not knowing I was being set-up. I began to visit my wife and two children in Baltimore once a week. With the intention of moving to Baltimore, I gave immediate notice to my employers that I was quitting my job within two weeks. I put our house up for sale, and my brother bought it two months later.



So why do you think the pastor, Katherine and Ed drove all the way to Pittsburgh from Baltimore to “rescue” your wife? Do you think these three busy people were just sitting around one day shootin' the breeze, and one of them says, out of the blue, “hey, I know what we can do this weekend, and it would be way fun. We can go and “rescue” Margaret Lang from her marriage. We don’t know anything about what’s going on between her and her husband, but who cares?” And then these three busy people jump in a car, drive five hours to “rescue” your wife. Doesn’t make much sense to me, Al. Sounds like these three people drove to Pittsburgh to “rescue” your wife at her request, and most likely after many, very lengthy, phone calls from her telling them how miserable she was. None of these people were conspiring against you, Al. These people truly felt they were doing what was best for Margaret, because Margaret had convinced them that leaving you was best for Margaret. Don’t blame others for reaching out to help your poor, woe-is-me, someone-just-save-me wife when she goes around telling people how miserable she is, and then threatens to kill herself. What would have happened if she really did kill herself? Would you have been angry because these three people did NOT drive to Pittsburgh to “rescue” her? I have, unfortunately—and at my own peril —experienced your wife, Al, and I know what she is capable of doing and saying to get people to believe what she tells them (it also helps if those people have already been dealt a couple crisis-type blows).




Margaret already had her mind made up to leave you. Why do you think she stalked, seduced and then bedded her Tae Kwon Do instructor? Margaret was looking for someone to save her. There was NO “burgeoning affair” in the heart of the pastor. If there was any “burgeoning affair” it was in your wife’s heart, and it was your wife’s fantasy. You have absolutely no more ability to read people’s minds then anyone has the ability to read your mind. At this point, Al, I don’t think your wife had either stalked or ‘worked’ on the pastor long enough for this situation to qualify as a “burgeoning affair.” Your wife may have already had her hand down the poor man’s pants, but I guarantee you, he was completely, at this point, unaware of this.




Who “agreed” on what? You write “according to their agreed plan ”you were "a poor husband" and that “they” gave you “no chance to openly Deal with or challenge this unless of course the pastor himself could act as our marriage counselor.” Who was “they?” It sounds like it was Margaret who was calling the shots here, Al, because she is the one who told you to “take it or leave it.” There was no “they.” If there was any ‘marital counseling conspiracy,’ it was started by your wife. Also, you write “there had never been physical, mental or verbal abuse exchanged between Margaret and I,” and yet you never explain why Margaret wanted to see a marriage counselor. I’m sure she told you, Al, just as I am sure she told the pastor, Katherine, Ed and anyone else who had the time to listen to her woes, and, just as she told both me and my husband (and, by the way, according to Margaret there was a great deal of ‘mental’ abuse going on—you might want to look into that… she had me so convinced, I even bought her a book to read concerning verbally abusive husbands). Maybe one of the reasons she wanted to see a marriage counselor is because you just weren’t listening to her, because if you had listened to her you would have know the reasons your wife wanted to see a marriage counselor.




There wasn’t an “already ongoing affair between them.” Your wife hadn’t quite broken him down yet. Remember (as has been my experience)—she ‘hooks’ them by sharing some intimate details of her life, and then she goes in for the kill when she has them all nice, helpful, understanding, and hell-bent on “saving” her. If you were being “set up,” Al, it was because you allowed yourself to be “set up” by your wife. You did not have to follow your wife to Baltimore. You could have gotten an attorney in Pittsburgh and forced your wife to return your children to the Pittsburgh area. There are laws against taking children away from their parents—especially across state lines. Quit blaming other people for your wife’s web of deceit (if it is, in fact, deceit—once again, that is between the two of you to hammer out).

************************************************** ***********************************

THE AL LANG STORY:

"At the end of November 1998 I was visiting my wife and daughters for 3 & 4 days at a time, still unaware of the affair between the pastor and Margaret. At first I had no permanent place to stay until I temporarily moved in with my wife and her brother Jim & his family. Others appeared to think we were working through a separation in our marriage and treated us kindly. She let me know that the pastor was covering the tuition of our kids at the Greater Grace Academy elementary school. My wife Margaret had become uncharacteristically hostile in her language & manner toward me. In my 12 years of knowing her, I had never seen a hint of this distinct personality change. She displayed a major personality overhaul towards me, saying things she appeared scripted to say such as " this is the Church God has called me to & if you don't like it you can f--- off' and "take our two girls and leave, this is where God has called me". Saddened by it all, I refused to split up our family and leave, I continued to go to church services with her and even accept "counsel" from the pastor and his Dad -Pastor Stevens. I found out later, when I discovered the e-mail copies that the pastor would tell my wife everything I said though he assured me it was confidential between He & I as counselor & counselee.



She let you know the pastor was "covering the tuition of your kids" because she wanted you to know that she did not feel you were taking care of her and the kids the way she wanted to be taken care of--and that is just one of her many issues and/or problems, Al.



Perhaps Al, after 12 years she simply wanted her marriage over. Perhaps she was tired of all the fighting. What makes you think there was anything else to it than that? Margaret told me about your volatile life together, so I really do not believe that she had never been “hostile in her language and manner toward” you previous to this situation. Margaret believes--by behavior and words--that she is "stuck" in her marriage, and that you just won't let her go (whether this is true or not is your's and Margaret's problem, and the fact that I bring it up here is so that you will understand how she gets people to "rescue" her, and/or to help her).



To claim Margaret “appeared scripted to say” things is just you swimming in the big river of Denial. Margaret was definitely not scripted to say anything to you, Al. Anything she said to you is what she chose to say to you because she wanted out of the marriage. No one was forcing her to say anything she did not want to say. Your wife is a big girl, Al. If you pay attention to the pattern, Al, it is obvious that Margaret had simply “thrown herself” into the “Church God” had “called” her to. She does that, you know. Margaret does NOT follow any script except the one that she has made up on her own.




Where are the emails?



THE AL LANG STORY:

“Late at night on Jan 90' 1999 I finally asked Margaret if she was having an affair or had one. She was waiting for me to ask she said, & confessed to having a one-time fling with her former martial arts instructor back in Pittsburgh, on July 10th, 1998. I thought back to what may have led up to that time. 1997 was full of life's changing events. Margaret had marked her 30th birthday months before and found it difficult emotionally. We were about to celebrate 10 years of seemingly happy marriage. My Dad passed away in July 1997 after Margaret and I became closer to him attending to his personal care on a daily basis his last 6 months. In August 1997 Margaret suddenly announced she was quitting her job as a court reporter after 4 years of training and 6 months of internship. Margaret joined my daughter who was already taking Tae Kwon Do lessons and threw herself into learning all she could. I learned later that the instructor had a habit of "hitting on" women and it took him 10 solid months to continuously work on Margaret. During that time she attempted to see what my reaction would be if I found out. She asked me in a subtle manner one day in July 1998; "What would you do if he ever tried to hit on me?" I told her that I would confront him in a not too friendly manner. I probed her as to whether I needed to be check this matter out.”



Margaret had a one-night fling because she became attracted to Rachel’s Tae Kwon Do instructor, and she went after him. That is why she quit her internship and “threw herself” into “learning all she could” about Tae Kwon Do. How many lessons did she take a week? How often did she call this married Tae Kwon Do instructor? Did Margaret stalk the instructor like she did the pastor and my husband? Did she constantly stroke the instructor’s ego behind his wife’s back? The “instructor had a habit of “hitting on” women?” How do you know this? And if it is true, so what? As a married woman, Al, I can assure you that it makes no difference if a man “hits on” me or not—the answer will always be “no.” Women are the gatekeepers of their vaginas, Al. And it did not take the instructor “10 solid months to continuously work on Margaret.” My experience with Margaret has proven the exact opposite, and the opposite is that it took Margaret 10 months to wear the instructor down. I’ve seen your wife in action, and I know what she does, and how she behaves around married men—remember, friendship with a married man is nothing but foreplay for Margaret.




I’m sure Margaret loved your father very much, Al, but the fact is she got paid for “attending to his personal care on a daily basis for 6 months."




A “seemingly happy marriage?” Where were you during this “seemingly happy marriage?” According to Margaret, it wasn’t anywhere close to being happy—not even “seemingly."




Margaret finds birthdays “difficult emotionally” because she puts so much emphasis on her physical appearance, and the thought of getting older fills her with horror and dread. I know this because she told me this. Birthdays are a gift from God. The opposite of having a birthday is dead. Birthdays are a cause to celebrate the life that God has given us.

[not dazed or confused]

THE AL LANG STORY:


"She also said she told Pastor Stevens and the pastor about this one day affair with her instructor 2 months later in September 1998. She said they both suggested not telling me. I wept as she spoke. A burden seemed lifted from her shoulders having confessed. She assured me this was the one & only time. I told her I wanted to be her husband as if this never happened. I also told her that I realized I could have been more attentive and generous to her by noticing the warning signs as our lives became busier during that time. We both wept. She appeared very relieved. We talked late into the night before falling asleep. Everything seemed much better between us the next day - a Sunday as we went to the regular morning service at Greater Grace World Outreach. I noticed the pastor seemed anxious to speak with her privately after service & they did for 20 minutes, concluding with a long embrace as I watched them from a short distance. That day & next Margaret's disposition changed back to a very quiet & despondent manner, weeping a lot but refusing to say much as to what was truly bothering her. The next day my curiosity got the better of me as never before, as I opened up her e-mail past and present. There it was in over 120 e-mail letters between her & the pastor between August 1998 and Jan 1999, including dates, motels, and an illicit encounter in the pastor's motel room on Nov.7th,' 98 during a fundraising trip to Dover Plains, New York, where the pastor preached and she volunteered as secretary for the group of church singers they brought along. I learned that in May of 1998 the pastor invited Margaret to a fundraising banquet in Baltimore for the church radio broadcast. When she accepted that's when he told her he loved her and needed her back in his life as he just had marked his 41St birthday and wasn't handling it too well. "




Margaret taking her Tae Kwon Do lessons “where she was” was “more convenient” because she was attracted to that particular instructor, and she was thoroughly enjoying the attention he paying her. Plain and simple.




"She said they both suggested not telling" you? And you believed her? Why? Why would either of these pastors suggest that Margaret not tell you about her one-night stand with the Tae Kwon Do instructor that she stalked, seduced and bedded? It has been my experience, Al, that Margaret doesn't "tell things" because that would force her to recognize her own ugliness. Also, Margaret doesn't "tell things" because she doesn't want to get in trouble, and "telling things" could change the path she is determined to walk down, and Margaret doesn't like the path she has chosen to walk down to become rutted and/or messed up by receiving counsel (I witnessed this behavior when she was determined to walk down the path of adultery with the carny guy--Margaret just doesn't want to listen to anyone, because Margaret wants and needs what Margaret wants and needs even if what she wants and needs is wrong, wrong, wrong).




Perhaps Margaret was despondent after speaking to the pastor after services, Al, because the pastor had told her she had to stop stalking him. My husband tried to get away from your wife a number of times. To get away, he would go to the basement or out to the garage, but Margaret would follow him around like an animal in heat. When my husband tried to distance himself from her, she would follow him and corner him when I was not around and harass him with “why aren’t you talking to me,” and “are you mad at me” questions, and statements like “I need you,” and “you are like a brother to me,” etc., etc., etc. (and, of course, with the tear-filled eyes and quivering chin). She hunted him down, Al becasue Margaret truly is an "emotional predator." She did all of this right in front of me yet behind my back because she knew that both my husband and I had been beaten down, we were both vulnerable, and that we were too exhausted to understand exactly what was going on. My husband brought this to my attention, but I thought she was being a “concerned friend.” Hindsight tells me that Margaret wasn’t being a concerned friend, Al, she was following my husband around and stalking him like a bitch in heat—it’s a simple and pathetic and ugly as that.




Thats when "he told her he loved her and needed her back in his life as he just had marked his 41St birthday and wasn't handling it too well?" How do you know the pastor said this to her? It's not like Margaret is a very honest person. It has been my experience that Margaret tells people--or accidentally on purpose forgets to tell people--whatever needs to be said or not said to serve her own agenda. It's really kinda scary, Al.



THE AL LANG STORY:


“During summer 1998 they went on-line together exchanging phone calls late on Friday nights, and engaged in flirtatious banter and teasing while critiquing their spouses. At the time ‘the pastor’'s wife Barbara was undergoing a series of radiation treatments for a thyroid problem which left her feeling sick, and ‘the pastor’ suggested that she (his wife) may not live anyway, and that "God has a way of bringing people together" alluding to he and Margaret. Of course ‘the pastor’'s wife and I remained as an obstacle to their perceived fulfillment of "Gods plan". ‘the pastor’ also suggested that after his 40th birthday the year before, he began to realize how difficult it was to stay married to the same person for 20 years as he had. Months later it was revealed that they discussed the strategy of having a Protection From Abuse order (PFA) filed against me if they could bait me into hitting my wife or threatening her in some manner. They tried hard, Margaret reverted back to her uncharacteristic cursing at me and attempting to berate me. Much of what she said did not sound like the person I had known for 12 years. Instead it was coming from the premise that she had to "resist Satan even when he is influencing your husband" as she would later rebuke me. I kept this information to myself as I felt deeply betrayed and hurt by the person I love the most and by two people who stood in a place of spiritual authority and seemed willing accomplices in separating Margaret and I further apart.”



“During the summer of 1998 they went on-line together?” Once again, Al, how did the pastor get your email address? Did you give it to him? Margaret and the pastor were speaking on the phone on Friday nights, Al, because you worked on those nights, and Margaret waited for you to leave so she make her phone call to the pastor. Don’t blame him because your wife was calling him and telling him how miserable she was in her marriage—blame Margaret.




Also, once again, Al, when the pastor’s wife was undergoing radiation treatments, why didn’t your “emotionally stable, loving, caring, nurturing” wife reach out to this family with love, caring and nurturing? That’s what a truly “emotionally stable” woman would do. Why did Margaret choose this time to start stalking the pastor? Maybe, as I have experienced this in my own life, because that particular family was “down” at that time it was easier for Margaret to stick her foot in the door of their marriage. There is no possible way that Margaret could have gotten away with all her flirting and stalking if that pastor—or my husband, the Tae Kwon Do instructor, etc—had been at the top of his/their game, and if his wife had not been ill. Do you have any idea what a man—especially a good, caring family man like the pastor—goes through when a member of their family becomes ill or otherwise incapacitated and there is nothing they can do to “fix it?” Ask a counselor, Al.




" Flirtatious banter and teasing?" "Critiquing their spouses?" “Flirting” is relative. What was Margaret saying about you? Where are these emails? Either way, Al, I can guarantee you—if any of this did take place—that it was Margaret doing most—if not all—of the flirting, the teasing and the critiquing. I watched her do this in my home all the while pretending that my husband was “just like a brother” to her. That’s how she gets away with it.




How do you know the pastor was “alluding” to anything? Where is this e-mail? What did Margaret say or write to the pastor before you claim the pastor “alluded” to anything?




No one was a “willing accomplice” in separating you and your wife. Your wife reached out for help either with your marriage, or she was reaching for help to get out of her marriage, and because some people are hardwired to help, they offered their help. I did the same thing. It’s not as if I was an enemy of either you or your marriage, Al. On the contrary, I tried to get Margaret to look at you differently on several different occasions, but her mind had already been made up. And then eventually she wears everyone down (she’s good at doing that), and gets them to believe things about you that may, or may not, be true. I can assure you, Al that just about every single person your wife “reaches out to” does exactly the same thing. No one jumps on the “Al is a monster” wagon without getting a considerable ‘foot up’ from your wife. Margaret is very convincing—especially when she talks and weeps and cries about you and how miserable she is in her marriage (it takes two people to make a marriage, and, in your defense, I didn’t witness Margaret applying any marital values or true commitment to either you or your marriage—also, many of her complaints about you were fairly ridiculous, but she makes them sound so much worse, and she does make others believe that your are “off” when she complains about you)




THE AL LANG STORY:

"Pastor Stevens even looked at me and said a week before that "every marriage which God hasn't' planted will be plucked up", paraphrasing but misusing a well- known scripture verse but ignoring the biblical injunction: " What God has joined together let no on tear apart" Mark 10:9. When Pastor Stevens and his son the pastor would offer me counsel separately they seemed to say the same thing as if they quietly conferred with each other between sessions. Never once did either of them inquire how my two small daughters were doing, though I brought this to their attention as one of my concerns. My six-year old daughter Alexandra developed the nervous habit of pulling on her hair gradually opening up a balding spot on top of her head of three inches. She was quiet and clinging towards me a lot during this time, climbing in bed beside me at night since my wife slept alone during these months. My wife refused sexual intimacy with me for the most part during this time and ignored our children for most of the time we spent as a family. My oldest, our 10 year old daughter, and firstborn- Rachel was torn in her emotional response towards both Margaret and I as parents since in some way she seemed to feel responsible for our arguments, but desperately wanted to keep us together as a family. A friend of mine who had seen his parent's split up when he was a child told me this was a typical response especially for a first-born child as Rachel. Rachel was emotionally bottled up, on occasion in private moments sobbing to herself uncontrollably but not wanting me see her or make this an issue which would embarrass her. At times I could only hold her, as she sobbed not wanting anyone to know. I watched the woman I love change from an emotionally stable, loving, caring, nurturing person, who treasured her family and loved God by every expression to someone who was caustic, angry, short tempered and depressed most of her day. She could put on a cool pleasant face in front of others but not the children and I.



Al. Why do you think both the pastor and Pastor Stevens were saying these things—if, indeed, they were saying these things directly to you? Do you think they were both sitting around one day brainstorming about what to do in their spare time, and then decided to destroy your marriage for no reason at all? Do you really think either one of them would even have gotten near your marriage if your wife had not gone to the pastor with her woe-is-me-ness and her someone-just-save-me-ness? I don’t think so. Your wife was telling them that she did not love you, she was telling them she was miserable in her marriage, and she was telling them she no longer wanted to be married to you. That, Al, is NOT their fault—that fault lies squarely with your wife. Once again, do not blame the people who were either being duped or lied to by your wife. I've been there, Al, so I know of what I speak.




Your wife is a woman, Al. If she didn’t want to have sex with you, than she just didn’t want to have sex with you—that was her decision, no one else’s.




You suggest that Pastor Stevens and the pastor were “quietly conferring” with each other between counseling sessions with you. That is absolutely NOT true except in the context that your wife was FIRST conferring with them and telling them that she no longer wanted to be married to you. The mistake these two pastors made was actually believing what your wife was telling them. It's called "manipulation." Why did Margaret want everyone to believe that she was absolutely miserable?



Your two daughters were your responsibility, and they were your wife’s responsibility. Why should either of the pastors take any responsibility for the "wellbeing" of your children except in an abstract, ministerial way? I’m sure that they trusted that you were taking good care of them as you always have. Since your wife “treasured her family,” I’m sure she was constantly inquiring about their welfare, right? I’m sorry your children went through that (because you have great kids), Al, but it was Margaret and her persistent emotional instability that forced them through that—just like she forced her children, once again, to go through something similar when she was in my life. And guess what, Al? Neither Pastor Stevens nor the pastor were around for her to blame—nor was Margaret involved with GGWO at this time--what Margaret did then, and what Margaret did in my life was just simply all very Margaret. Further proof, Al, that your wife does NOT treasure her children (I know she loves them, but she has also considered them to be a "bother," and I know this because this is how she behaved while she was in my life).




For some very odd reason, Al, you seem to blame both Pastor Stevens and the pastor for the problems in your marriage, and for your wife’s problems. Neither of these men had anything to do with the problems of either. Your wife brought her problems to them—they neither invented nor invited either set of problems, and I guarantee you, in hindsight each one of them wished they had never set eyes on your wife—this is something both my husband and I feel right now about your wife. Talk about “Fatal Attraction.”




You “watched the woman you love change from an emotionally stable, loving, caring” and “nurturing” woman into “someone who was caustic, angry, short-tempered and depressed most of the day?” Your wife had just recently stalked and bedded her Tae Kwon Do instructor. She had just recently been telling the pastor—and stalking him—and his father how miserable she was being married to you, and how unhappy she was. And when Margaret gets going on that particular subject, Al, she goes on and on and on and on. If you call that “emotionally stable” then I would have to ascertain that you believe “emotional stability” is completely relative. And loving, caring and nurturing? On the outside, Al, on the outside. It has been my experience that Margaret knows exactly what to say and what to do to get people to believe she is loving, caring and nurturing—and then she brings out the knife she intends to use to stab you in the back (she has done that to you many times, Al, I’m surprised you’re not used to it by now). I saw no real evidence—except very superficially—of your wife being loving, caring or nurturing. Sorry, but it just ain’t so.




Margaret “could put on a cool pleasant face in front of others” is absolutely correct. My husband watched her turn off and on her emotions daily. He was impressed. This is just something she does—she was doing it back then, and she was doing it again while she was in my life. It's pretty scary, Al.

[not dazed or confused]

And on and on and on. I can take each and every paragraph Al wrote in the “Al Lang Story,” and ask question upon question about everything that was left out. Just about everyone who reads what I have written will have already understood my line of questioning. I may add more paragraphs later, but for now I am done with the “Al Lang Story.” Did Al lie in the “Al Lang Story?” I don’t know. I’ve never spoken to him about it. What I do know, however, is that Al was purposely selective about the information that he included in his story. Why? He knows. God knows. I don’t.

And Margaret? Some of you may feel that I have been overly harsh towards Margaret in my story. I can assure you, however, that my harshness in no way compares with the absolute harshness Margaret Lang brought into my life, my daughter’s, life, my granddaughter’s life and my husband’s life through her deception, duplicity, dishonesty and through her manipulation. Margaret literally, and with malice and forethought, picked up an emotional sledge hammer and whacked me, my marriage and my husband up alongside our hearts knowing full well what we had been through, and what we continued to go through. The horror that is Margaret permeated every level of our lives—emotional, mental, physical AND financial. I completely believe that when Margaret looked me in the eye and told me “my conscience is clear,” that she, unbelievably to most of us, truly believed this herself. And that, ladies and gentlemen, happens to be the real problem with Margaret Rose Hadley Lang.

Some of you may be wondering what I hope to accomplish by posting my story on this forum. There are several reasons:

1) I would hope that the pastor who had been blinded through Margaret’s manipulation (just as both me and my husband had been so recently blinded) be redeemed. I know that he has been redeemed through Christ, our Lord (and, truly, that is all that really matters), but I would like to see every single person who judged this man based on the Lang’s lies, half-truths, false allegations and purposely omitted facts look into their hearts and see the truth. Rather than just throw stones at this man, the Lang’s—through their lawsuit—threw boulder after boulder on this man and his family, and each of those boulders was wrapped in a lie, a half-truth and a false allegation. It is time, ladies and gentlemen, to unbury the truth.

2) I don’t know if GGWO is a cult or not, or if it does have some ‘cultish’ tendencies. Perhaps, at one time, this could have been true—I really don’t know. But everyone can change, and it is possible, after being accused of being ‘cultish’ that those involved with GGWO have taken a closer look at the way they do things, and it is very possible that they have modified their way of doing things to get away from any ‘cultish’ tendencies they may have had at one time. Everyone deserves a second chance. Redemption, once again.


3) Do I want the Lang’s to pay back the money they stole from the parishioners of GGWO through their fact-challenged lawsuit against that church? Yes… and no… I don’t believe it would be feasible for them to do that. Neither one of them earn enough money, and they could possibly lose their home. Even though I believe what they have done is absolutely heinous and abhorrent, I see no reason to make their children suffer for the sins of their parents by losing their home (which was paid for by the parishioner’s hard-earned money).

4) I would like, very much, for the Lang’s to look into their hearts and “free” the man from both the defamation and the dark shadow they cast upon him with their fact-challenged lawsuit. Will this solve everything? Maybe. The Lang’s lie-filled lawsuit caused a serious rift between members of that family—a rift that was not healed before the father passed away. How horrible would that be to live with? The sin of adultery, in my opinion, is minute when compared to what has been lost by this family. To be judged based on lie after lie after lie, and to not be able to even prove that the points brought up in the Lang’s lawsuit were nothing more than lies, half-truths, omissions of fact and false allegations must have been absolutely devastating to this man and his family. I believe each of us should try walking in his shoes for just one minute—including the Lang’s.


5) I would like each of the Hadley siblings to read this story. I have met many of the Hadley’s—Margaret’s sister Katherine and her husband, Ed, John and his wife, Nancy, Jim and his wife, as well as assorted nieces and nephews. These are great people. Very caring and loving, and with a faith in God that is humbling. In fact, I based some of my original opinion of Margaret on her family—if they were so good, then Margaret was ‘good’ as well. Right? The Hadley’s love their sister—and rightly so. The Hadley’s are very loyal to their sister, and she to them—and rightly so. Unfortunately, the Hadley’s are blindly loyal to their sister, Margaret, and that makes them very small fish in the large river of Denial. I would want the Hadley’s to recognize who their sister really is, what she has done and what she is capable of doing. I would want them to continue to love her, to continue to support her, to continue to pray for her and to continue to be loyal to her, but I would, emphatically, want them to stop enabling her behavior by being blind to who she really is. Tough love. The Hadley’s cannot truly help Margaret unless they know exactly who she is.

[not dazed or confused]

On a personal note I would like to add: I believe I have just wasted 25 years of my life. When I saved money, it was for mundane things like kitchen cabinets for my home, hardwood flooring for my home, gifts and things for my husband and my daughter, my husband's and my retirement (through our rental properties since we no longer have 401K's)... etc. What a waste. I now see that I should have saved my money for liposuction, a tummy tuck, breast enlargements, Botox treatments, etc. because in the end, that is all you need to get you what you want. Also, I have been honest all of my life. Honest and good and righteous and loyal. I never learned to manipulate. I never learned to lie to get what I wanted. I never learned to nag or to critisize or complain. I have just worked hard and kept caring and caring and caring. How does one learn to lie and manipulate and to complain and to nag? How does one kill their own conscience? It is true... the good do die young--and it doesn't have to be a physical death--it can be a death of everything that you believe in... it's tough to wake up one day and realize that, here on earth, you are completely expenable. I have learned, ladies and gentlemen, that in the end the only thing left is you and God. And nothing else matters.

[not dazed or confused]

If anyone would like to ask questions or comment about my story, please feel free to do so...

[not dazed or confused]

MORE "AL LANG STORY"

THE AL LANG STORY:


"I stopped at our apartment briefly, saw Margaret, who by this time was sensing I knew something, was very defensive, threatened to leave me and the kids and kill herself if I didn't tell her what I was up to. Not trusting her at this point, and without telling her after arguing back & forth on this for about 45 minutes, I attempted to talk her out of her suicidal intentions, but she left in her car. I dropped the kids off with my sister-in law at church and told her Margaret left in a very upset state of mind. I went to the Evan's home. They knew what I wanted to tell them was of a serious nature but were shocked as I told them everything I could remember. I then produced copies of the 100 plus e-mail letters between ‘the pastor’ & Margaret. They sat quietly for then another 45 minutes reading each letter, shaking their heads in disbelief at times. The letters mentioned dates, motels, his car or office for "coffee". The letters also contained descriptive reminiscing of the previous nights affair, in addition to a critique of both their spouses, among other banter. As Barbara and Dave finished reading they both said that something must be done. Barbara sped down to the church were service was already going on and approached Pastor Stevens as soon as he finished preaching, told him their was a serious problem he had to deal with about Alan & Margaret Lang at her house, & that he should bring his son -’the pastor’. They showed up about 9:30 PM, about a half-hour after service ended and about as long as the drive from the church."



Yes, Margaret did suspect that you “knew something” didn’t she? She didn’t want you to know because she was being, once again, committing adultery and being manipulative, deceptive and dishonest. Your wife is an adulteress Al, and adulteresses are deceptive, dishonest and manipulative—you simply can’t have the ‘one’ without all of the others. I have often wondered (and this particular point has been a topic of many a discussion) if Margaret actually enjoys the drama and chaos she creates in her own life. Margaret is like a bull in a china shop as she lumbers awkwardly through life, and she doesn’t care what or who is broken as she crashes through people’s lives towards her fantasy goal of finding an ideal, and finally being able to fill her emptiness.



Margaret is always threatening to kill herself. She is like the little boy who cried wolf. Anyone who threatens to kill themselves—especially in the ‘Margaret’ context—is being very manipulative. My ex-husband used to do that to me all the time when I told him I was leaving him. And then, after I finally realized that he was just being manipulative and that he wasn’t really going to kill himself, I told him to choose his weapon and that I would be more than happy to provide him with his weapon of choice. I hate manipulation.



She “threatened to leave” you? She had already left you Al, remember? Halloween night 1998? Two months previous to this? Remember Margaret left you, and you quit your job and followed her? Sometimes that just happens, Al, and thanks to your “emotionally stable, caring, loving and nurturing” wife, it just happened to me. The difference between you and I, Al, is that I had absolutely NO intention of following anyone anywhere—no one is worth that (especially not your wife, Al—Margaret is not the ‘pot of gold’ you seem to think she is… she is nothing but a ‘pot of fool’s gold’).



Where are these e-mails, Al? Are you aware that Margaret actually enjoyed the ‘intrigue?’ She laughed about it when she talked about this with both me and my husband. She thought it was very humorous. Once again, Al, so much for the “emotionally stable, caring, loving and nurturing” woman you have attempted to portray Margaret as being before she started stalking ‘the pastor’—nothing could be further from the truth.



THE AL LANG STORY:


"Pastor Stevens appeared nervous when I told him briefly what I knew and pointed to the copies of the e-mail letters on the table. ‘The pastor’ broke down weeping, falling to his knees before us while admitting to his dad this was true, saying he was "so sorry" to me, & then to his dad. Pastor Stevens asked me if I wanted his son ‘the pastor’ to step down as a Pastor. Sidestepping the question I said all I wanted was my wife back, and for ‘the pastor’ to cooperate by honoring our marriage, and staying away from my wife completely. As much as I wanted to trust Pastor Steven's apparent good will, I quietly doubted that he had the fortitude to have his son step down as a pastor and marriage counselor. Though he insisted he wanted to advise me "as your pastor", my instincts suggested that he was ‘the pastor’s’ dad first. He asked me if we could keep this from being known, from ‘the pastor’s’ wife, and causing scandal in his church. I restated that ‘the pastor’ & Margaret should cease all contact with each other for the sake of my marriage and family. Pastor Stevens agreed, while complementing me profusely for what he considered the biblical and private manner in which I handled this. Pastor Stevens suggested that we would make a covenant before God for this to be. David & Barbara, Pastor Stevens, ‘the pastor’ and I Stood together and briefly prayed such before leaving. I took ‘the pastor’ with me to help find my wife, we made phone calls, drove around familiar places, then received a call from ‘the pastor’s’ wife on his cell phone, saying that Margaret had called for him. We found her at a gas station near ‘the pastor’s’ house in Bel Air, MD. about a half hour away. She refused to see me, and would only talk to ‘the pastor’. They talked for about 10 minutes before she would come over & to my car. She refused to look at me. The three of us sat in his car as ‘the pastor’ talked. ‘The pastor’ admitted to Margaret in my presence that he was wrong, but was now glad that his dad knew so that he could get on with his life. ‘The pastor’ also expressed that he often wondered if the message he heard from the church pulpit was real and now he believed it was. I had read in two previous e-mails of ‘the pastor’ voicing the same question about the validity of what he heard from the pulpit at times. This admission surprised me that he could occasionally say things from the pulpit that he didn't truly believe but act as if he did when given the chance to preach by his dad. My wife refused to come home with me as she was silent but sullen. ‘The pastor’ left to go home. She left, I later learned to a motel room at the Ramada Inn in Towson, MD., a half- hour away. The next morning, Jan 21St, Pastor Stevens & ‘the pastor’ left for a three-Day church conference in Las Vegas, where they both preached."




Yes… ‘the pastor’ did break down and weep because he was well aware of his sin, and 'the pastor' is a good and loving man who had just made the absolute worst mistake of his life. What he wasn’t aware of yet was the way your wife had wormed her way into his life, and how she used deception and manipulation to get him to believe that you were a monstrous husband, and how she had led him to believe that she "needed to be saved.' ‘The pastor’s’ greatest mistake, Al, was that he believed your wife, and that is the mistake that others have made both before and after ‘the pastor.’ Believing anything your wife says is a huge, astronomical mistake anyone could make.



‘The pastor’ most likely wanted nothing more than to “honor your marriage” at this point (as well as getting back to honoring his own marriage and the wife that he was absolutely in love with), and he probably (as this has been my experience) had no idea how he gotten himself in the situation he found himself. Unfortunately, both you and ‘the pastor’ still had the ““emotionally stable, caring, loving and nurturing” Margaret to contend with, didn’t you? Margaret was the real problem—not ‘the pastor,’ and that is why you found her so near ‘the pastor’s ‘own home, and that is why she called ‘the pastor’s’ home looking for him—she was still stalking him. Ask yourself, Al: what kind of a woman calls a man’s wife—at that woman’s home—to track down her prey? Certainly not an “emotionally stable, caring, loving and nurturing” kind of woman does that kind of thing. Your wife is a desperate, desperate woman, Al. She didn’t look at you, Al, because she blamed you for destroying what she considered to be her only chance to get away from you. Margaret simply does not have the ‘kahunas’ to leave you outright—she completely lacks strength of character.



It is OK to ‘doubt’ or question, Al. Don’t you remember Thomas? Why would this have anything to do with your wife stalking this man? Even Mother Theresa doubted. Do you really think God minds if we ‘question?’ I don’t think so.



THE AL LANG STORY:


"Margaret came back to our apartment at 5:00 pm the next Day. When I didn't hear from her earlier, I called her parents in Florida. Her dad said Margaret had just called him. He was unaware of what was going on except that his Daughter was upset."



Yes… your wife was upset, Al. She was upset because she had been forced to give up her chance to escape from the life and the marriage that she has been complaining about and unhappy with for years. I’m sure she held you responsible. Margaret was just as upset when her brothers came and took her away (hee hee haw haw) from my life. Her fantasy, once again, had been destroyed. Poor Margaret.


THE AL LANG STORY:


"That being a fathers concern for his child's immediate safety he didn't ask questions and I didn't explain. He said he was paying to have her fly & visit them in Florida for three weeks. I was relieved that she was safe and left it between them as a father-Daughter matter if they chose to Discuss it. Margaret left for Florida after three Days of barely talking to me."



Margaret would absolutely not honestly discuss what she was doing with her parents. Margaret has an odd kind of relationship with her parents and the rest of her family. They don’t like to discuss ‘problems.’ I know this is absolutely true of both Margaret’s mother and her sister, Katherine. I think they both believe that if ‘something’ isn’t discussed, then it just isn’t ‘real.’ Which is, most likely, why Margaret never seeks out ‘wise counsel’ when she chooses the path of adultery over and over again (also, Margaret does not seek wise counsel because she simply doesn’t want to be deterred or talked out of walking down the ‘adultery path’ that she has so often chosen). I’m sure neither of Margaret’s parents are aware of the hell their daughter created in my life even as I did everything I could to help both her and her children. Margaret did tell me, Al, that she learned absolutely nothing from her parents, and I now believe her.


THE AL LANG STORY:


"On Sunday morning January 24',1999 at 1:00 am, I was awakened by a phone call from Pastor Stevens in Las Vegas. He apologized for calling late, explaining that he just finished preaching and wanted to see how I was. I briefly replied that I now had more hope for my wife and family after our meeting at the Evan's home a few nights before. He interrupted to tell me "God does speak to you", and " you handled this matter as a gentleman and so biblically" and "I want you to consider being a pastor", and "your like a son to me", and "you can trust me as your pastor, because I refuse to be sentimental with him (‘the pastor’). I'll pull his ordination papers in a second if I ever hear he's done this again." finally "let's both agree to quietly keep an eye out for how they (his son & my wife) conduct themselves and let each other know so you have the peace to know this is over". I agreed, thanked him for the call, checked my notes as I had written down his verbatim comments in my notebook next to the phone, during our conversation."



Most likely, Al, as this has been my experience, that Pastor Stevens wanted you—especially—to keep an eye on your wife to keep her from stalking and chasing down his son. Pastor Stevens was, most likely, trying to be diplomatic with you as I am sure that by the time he made this phone call he and his son had discussed what was really going on—and what was really going on was that your wife was stalking this poor man, and she was not giving him any time to think anything through or to regenerate, etc. I know this because this is exactly what Margaret was doing to my husband—keep ‘em emotionally exhausted is Margaret’s motto. Margaret never stood back and said to any of her victims, “let’s just think about what we—you and I—are doing, and let’s just think about how our actions are going to affect everyone around us.” Nope—way too much of a ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ approach for Margaret. Also, if any of these men had been released from the ‘hyper-emotional and chaotic Margaret’ prison she was keeping them in, and if any of these men had been given a chance to ponder and/or think they would have ran like hell, and perhaps Margaret was aware of this (which is why she was never able to release these men until she had caused maximum damage and was forced to release them—one way or another).


THE AL LANG STORY:

"Much later that same Sunday, after evening church service at 9:30 pm, Pastor Stevens called from Las Vegas to speak with Margaret. Margaret answered and spoke with him. She said to me after hanging up "Pastor said that since this (the affair) is over, in God's eyes it's as if it never happened. Your husband should have never involved the Evans in this. Your husband violated bible doctrine by uncovering you and ‘the pastor’, like Ham uncovered Noah after the flood. We both know that Barbara Evans is a talker. If she (Barbara) ever tells anyone about this, we can agree before God, by telling others that she's a liar! Because in Gods eyes this never happened, since God doesn't even see our sins once he's forgiven us." Margaret repeated this to me immediately after hanging up with Pastor Stevens. This appeared to me to be Pastor Stevens taking license with the scriptures to say what he wanted them to mean. I hid my disappointment with what appeared to be a questionable approach to my wife on the matter by Pastor Stevens. At 6:00 am the next morning, I drove my wife to the airport to catch her plane."



So… Margaret said “Pastor said that since….” And you believed her? How do you really know that is what the pastor said? It’s not as if your wife is a very honest woman—hadn’t she been lying to you continuously for the past year or so? At least since she began stalking the martial arts instructor. Additionally, Al, it looks like your loving and nurturing wife was ready to throw poor Barbara Evans under the bus—with absolutely NO remorse. And you think she is a ‘pot of gold?’ A pot of ‘fools’ gold,’ Al—nothing more.



THE AL LANG STORY:

"I wondered why Pastor Stevens would give such instructions to my wife but say nothing like that to me. Strangely though, it was not the last time he gave us each conflicting advice, as I'll illustrate in a moment. It did appear after a few more incidents of giving conflicting advice that Pastor Stevens was attempting to keep us both second guessing and doubting each other, while pretending and insisting "I'm your pastor, you can trust me, I refuse to be sentimental with my son". Clearly his mode of operating was to confuse by dividing a married couple's already wounded affections for each other."



This is what you claim, Al. Did it ever occur to you that your wife was actually the one who was guilty of dividing your “already wounded affections for each other?” Your wife—as, once again, has been my experience—is very, very adept at telling people what they want to hear, and of telling people what will offer her the most protection. Your wife, Al, is the one and only person who is leading the race to divide your "already wounded affections for each other." When she was in my life, Al, she lied to me and she lied to my husband (of course we would only find this out much later). She was telling each of us what she thought we needed to hear without any respect for either truth or honest. That’s just how she operates, Al. You’ve experienced it, I’ve experienced it, my husband has experienced it, the pastor has experienced it, and most likely many others have experienced this. Margaret simply does not have a very strong commitment to honesty.


THE AL LANG STORY:

"There was a phone conversation of Monday February 15th. Pastor Stevens called me after Margaret went to work as he arranged. After the usual "hi how are you?" he said "I want to ask you a question. Don't be mad!" "OK go ahead" I told him. He said "Didn't you think that the gown your wife wore to the banquet the other night was rather revealing with that slit up the side?" I said "No Pastor, I didn't even think of that". He went on to imply that she was asking for trouble by wearing a black nylon gown that came down to her ankles yet had a slit on one side that came up just past her knee. He also said it looked "too Hollywood". I replied, that since he is our pastor, that she would consider this pastoral observation more readily coming from him, due to our strained relations, and that he should feel free to suggest this to her attention when he calls her in the next day. He appeared not to hear this and changed the subject. Days later, I asked Margaret if Pastor Stevens said anything to her about this, she said "No not at all" offended by his failing to mention this to her personally, but more so because she considered her style of dress modest and formal for a church Valentines night banquet. On at least two occasions, when I suggested to Pastor Stevens that "blood is thicker than water" and that even with his years of experience it may be difficult for him to remain objective as a counselor involving the issues of adultery between his son and my wife, he dismissed this thought as being "from Satan" and that "I'll be the intermediary in your marriage". As the weeks went on it became apparent that the more frequently I gave him power to act as liaison between my wife and I, the more frequently I sensed we were being manipulated and betrayed."



Hahahahaha… your wife probably was wearing something inappropriate, Al. Have you noticed the way she dresses? Read the description earlier in my story. Margaret wears whatever is necessary to garner herself the most attention possible from men. Why should the pastor be responsible for telling your wife she dresses inappropriately? Margaret received a notice from the choir director at our church to wear more ‘conservative’ clothing, Al, but she ignored it (evidently our chorus director felt that having the congregation bear witness to three quarters of your wife’s rock hard false tits was a bit too much… just saying).



What makes you think you were either being manipulated or betrayed by the pastor? It was your WIFE who was doing the manipulating and betraying, Al. It was NEVER up to any other human being—be they pastors or otherwise—to put your marriage back together. Putting your marriage back together was something you and your wife should have been doing, but putting your marriage back together was simply NOT something your wife was interested in doing.



Also during many of our private conversations Pastor Stevens said he was aware that Margaret had been molested as a young teenager during a baby-sitting job. He said to me that "her problems began way before she moved away to Pittsburgh, or even Bible School. Her habit is a result of operating with damaged goods in her emotions, that's what I think" Pastor Stevens often used the term "damaged goods" to refer to confused and sick emotions. His veiled attempt to place the blame primarily on Margaret led me to realize he was willing to discredit her to protect ‘the pastor’'s reputation within the church.



Margaret’s problems DID start long before even you met her, Al. Margaret has no personality, no identity… nothing. Margaret is the blankest person I have ever met in my life (I thought this was due to you, but I now know this is wrong). Margaret claims her parents—especially her mother—didn’t teach her anything. She claims her mother was completely and absolute emotionally absent. Margaret claims that she was petrified of her physically and verbally abusive alcoholic father. Margaret has told me some pretty weird stories about growing up in a ‘litter’ with no individual attention from either parent. Don’t you think this type of upbringing could have a negative impact on the “adult” Margaret? Absolutely… try researching ‘adult children of alcoholic fathers,’ and you will see a full description of Margaret.



THE AL LANG STORY:

"There was a face to face conversation I had with Pastor Stevens on Tuesday March 9,1999 before his lunch time address to church members at the ministry dining area known as "The lunch rap". I remember this date also as I recorded it on my calendar after returning from a job interview. I approached Pastor Stevens with my concerns about catching ‘the pastor’ with my wife behind the school the previous week while he was away. Pastor Stevens turned the subject immediately to my wife's responsibility for this. I told him as our pastor he should talk to both ‘the pastor’ and Margaret. I related that when I attempted to discuss this with her she became sullen, threatening to kill herself storming off refusing to heed any thing concerning this. He reacted "Let her kill herself! She's a great manipulator. I doubt she's even saved. I'm going to ask her if she's ever been saved? She won't give me any of her mouth!" He told me again that he would take care of the matter and talk to her."



You caught ’the pastor’ with your “wife behind the school the previous week while” Pastor Stevens was away? For the love of carbs, Al, Pastor Stevens was absolutely NOT responsible for either your wife or ‘the pastor.’ If your wife and ‘the pastor’ were “behind the school” it was because your wife coerced, begged or pleaded with him to meet her there. Or, as is her way, she just happened—accidentally on purpose (something she is very good at doing)—to see him there. Your wife was stalking ‘the pastor,’ Al, and Pastor Stevens was absolutely correct when he “turned the subject immediately to” your “wife’s responsibility for this.” After having had your wife in my life for as long as I did, I know for an absolute fact that it WAS your “wife’s responsibility” plain and simple, Al. You really need to quit blaming everyone else for the inappropriate actions and immoral behavior of your wife. Throughout your story, Al, you make it sound like Margaret is a small child who needed a babysitter (OK, maybe you’re right, but regardless it wasn’t up to Pastor Stevens to babysit her). She’s a big girl, Al, and it’s high time she grew up and started wearing some big girl panties and becoming accountable and responsible for all of her idiotic, ridiculous, ignorant and immoral behavior.



Oh no!!!! Margaret threatened to “kill herself?” AGAIN? I agree with Pastor Stevens—“let her kill herself!” People who go around and threaten to kill themselves are usually just saying that to get a particular reaction—it’s called manipulation, Al. My first husband used to do that to me and it sickened me. I finally told him, after hearing “I will kill myself if you leave me” just one too many times to “pick his weapon,” and that I would be “more than happy to supply” him with any weapon of his choice. He’s still alive, Al… go figure… I am absolutely aware, because of my experience with Margaret, that she is more than just a “great manipulator,” Al, she is the goddess of manipulation (she even fooled my daughter, and my daughter had been around some pretty good masters of manipulation while she was living in the ‘drug world’). Pastor Stevens was absolutely right about her. It sounds like Pastor Stevens just wanted the nightmare of Al and Margaret Lang to end—he sounds pretty fed up. I don’t really blame, him, Al—been there, done that…

[not dazed or confused]

I have sent a link to this story to Greater Grace. I have sent a couple e-mails to Pastor Schaller's office advising him of this story, and asking him what he and/or others within that organization intend to do to make "this" right.

'The pastor' was coerced, shamed and guilted into signing the lawsuit. 'The pastor' knew--as did his father--that the accusations against him in that lawsuit were lies, lies, lies. 'The pastor' signed those papers to please his father and to make his father happy. Sometimes it just does not matter how old we get--we often want to do just about everything to please our parents and make them proud of us. Signing the papers within that lawsuit constituted nothing short of a cover-up. Pastor Stevens literally threw his son under the bus in order to 'save' the church. Signing the papers caused many, many people to believe what was written within that lawsuit--including me (even though I had a 'nagging' feeling about the whole thing the entire time Margaret was in my life based on what she had told me along with her actions and behavior). The 'cover-up' did not solve the problem because the problem was Margaret. The 'cover-up' allowed Margaret Lang to repeat her actions unhindered with two more men--my husband and the carny guy (the carny guy was in a long-term committed relationship that was broken off because of Margaret).

Also, by filing the lawsuit, Al Lang shot himself in the foot. Al Lang, rather than frothing at the mouth with jealous rage and feelings of revenge, should have allowed the truth about Margaret to emerge. Had the truth about Margaret emerged, it is possible her future forays into dishonesty, deception, manipulation and adultery could have been avoided (and then Al would not have had to suffer even more as a result of his wife's dishonesty, deception, duplicity, manipulation and adultery). If the the truth about Margaret and her immoral conduct had emerged, perhaps both she and Al could have received the counseling both of them needed (and still need). Both the lawsuit and resulting cover-up caused more damage than if the truth had been uncovered and dealt with honestly from the very beginning.

What does Christ say about dishonesty and lying?

Was anyone reading this involved with Greater Grace when the Lang's filed their lie-filled lawsuit? And if so, were you aware that 'the pastor' was coerced, shamed and guilted into signing those papers?

It is time, ladies and gentlemen, to get more of the truth out in the open, and to get rid of the many layers of lies and deception that are connected with this situation...

[not dazed or confused]

Just sitting in a local coffee shop when the vampire herself walks in... a few words were said... she told me I "needed to move on." Hard to do when you've been diagnosed with both shock and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome... easy to do if your are like Margaret and have absolutely no conscience (remember: "my conscience is clear...") or if you are like Margaret and you eat, wipe your mouth, and say "I've done nothing wrong..." easy to do if you are like Margaret and are able to blame everyone around you for your own problems and then file a lie-filled lawsuit against an innocent man...

[not dazed or confused]

Talked to several people about what Margaret said to me at the coffee shop ("you need to move on..."), and they were shocked, disgusted and astonished. Margaret Lang is like a rapist who has been released due to a technicality (and gets a new car as a reward), and the tells the victim of his rape that they "need to move on." Because 'rape' is what Margaret did to me, to my marriage and to my life--she raped me methodically and systematicaly and with malice and forthought--just as she raped 'the pastor' and his life.

More "Al Lang Story" coming soon... still have not heard from Greater Grace...

[not dazed or confused]

MORE AL LANG STORY...



THE AL LANG STORY:
He also insisted as far as he knew his son was no longer meeting with her and believed ‘the pastor’ when he insisted his "heart is pure on the matter". He ignored the subject of their being caught a few days before by me behind the school. According to a later conversation with my wife, he never brought this up, again she was offended and upset at him for this but hesitated to confront him for fear of offending ‘the pastor’ by questioning his dad. During that three weeks Margaret was in Florida, from Jan 26th to Feb 13th 1999, I worked part time so to care for our daughters as I had been accustomed to while we lived in Baltimore the last few months. Our children Rachel & Alex seemed quiet. They were very concerned about why their mom left us, but accepted my assurances that we would all be back together in three weeks.



What makes you think that Pastor Stevens was privy to your wife’s stalking tactics and habits toward his son? It is very possible, Al, that ‘the pastor’s’ heart was “pure on the matter.” It wasn’t ‘the pastor’ that you should have been concerned with—it was the impurity of your own wife’s heart that you should have been concerned with.




You found your wife and ‘the pastor’ speaking behind the school, and yet you make it sound so wicked and evil by stating that they were “caught a few days before by me behind the school.” Why don’t you ask your wife how this ‘event’ came about? Why would your wife be offended that Pastor Stevens did not bring this 'situationn' up to her, and why was she afraid of “offending” ‘the pastor?’ None of this makes any sense, Al. Your wife was stalking ‘the pastor,’ and she most likely talked him into meeting her (and very possibly he agreed only if they could meet in a public place—remember it was your wife who was the problem—not ‘the pastor’) so she could plead with him, tell him how much she needed him, stroke his ego, cry, tell him she couldn’t live without him, cry some more, beg, plead, etc., etc. because that is what she does.




Why wasn't your "emotionally stable, loving, caring and nurturing" wife taking care of her own children, Al? How much time--over the past 20 years of so--has she spent with her children? How involved is Margaret with her children, their school and/or their activities? When she was in my life, Al, she was only involved as little as possible to avoid being accused of being neglectful.



THE AL LANG STORY:
One morning in the second week of February I received a phone call from Pastor Stevens. After the usual reassurance that he is my pastor calling to see how I was he asked the question. "You haven't told anyone else about things now have you?" After I assured him that I didn't. I told him I was still grieving over the matter. He attempted to solicit a heroic response from me by suggesting that "if others find out, thousands of lives associated with this ministry will be affected, souls that could be saved will go to hell. It's vital that you tell no-one, not a soul! " I didn't say much except that "I understand".



Pastor Steven’s attempt to cover this up has nothing to do with ‘the pastor.’ GGWO was Pastor Steven’s ‘church.’ Pastor Steven’s was absolutely and categorically wrong when he chose to walk down the ‘cover-up’ path, and he should have known simply by looking back through history that ‘cover-ups’ are rarely successful. Also, I can’t think of any biblical precedence that would even prompt him to make that kind of decision; most likely he came to this conclusion because he was a man, and men are sinners by nature. What Pastor Stevens had most likely not considered was that by walking down the ‘cover-up’ path, he allowed the truth about your wife to be buried. Since the truth about your wife was being buried by Pastor Steven’s via his ‘cover-up,’ and since yours and your wife’s lie-filled lawsuit completely misrepresented the truth about that situation, it allowed innocent people like me to believe that Margaret was a different person from whom she really is/was.




I hold all of you—Pastor Stevens and his accomplices, and you and your wife 100% responsible for making me believe that Margaret was somehow a victim of a crime and/or situation that she herself committed and created. That erroneous belief (the belief that was based on lie after lie after lie) allowed me to let a woman like your wife into my life when I could least afford to have someone like her anywhere around me or my family. You are very quick to point fingers at Pastor Steven’s for his attempt to ‘cover-up’ the disaster and chaos that your wife brought into his church and his family, but what about your lie-filled and defaming lawsuit that you and your wife filed against an innocent man? It seems you have more in common with Pastor Stevens than you would want to admit--and what you have done is far worse than anything 'the pastor' had ever done.


THE AL LANG STORY:
During this time I was keeping a journal of thoughts, feelings, names and dates of the events surrounding my life. I wrote down our conversation soon after we hung up.

************************************************** ***********************************
THE AL LANG STORY:
Margaret returned from Florida on Feb.13h. During that time I later discovered that she and ‘the pastor’ began to communicate on e-mail once again. Trusting ‘the pastor’ at his word once again I believed him to be ceasing all communication with Margaret. That was not the case as they talked daily, often for an hour at a time, while she was on her parent's computer in Florida. I learned that she had signed on-line by another name on her dad's AOL membership, which she much later confessed and showed me when I proved to her I knew. When I suspected this may be going on I asked ‘the pastor’ openly three times if he was still communicating, he looked me in the eye and denied it, reassuring me that its natural for me to suspect him after all he admitted to doing, but it just wasn't the case. I brought my suspicions to his dad Pastor Stevens who asked me if I had proof & wanted to know why I had such suspicions anymore. I did not feel safe revealing to him what I knew as I felt ‘the pastor’ and my wife were both becoming only sneakier, and Pastor Stevens was covering for them with or without knowing of which I wasn't sure.



Who started the communication between your wife and ‘the pastor?’ Margaret opened the account by another name—not ‘the pastor.’ Margaret initiated the communication between herself and ‘the pastor.’ ‘The pastor’ did not contact her—she contacted him. Does this sound familiar, Al? Remember the phones your wife went out and got charged up for her and my husband? ‘The pastor’ no more requested that she open an AOL account under an assumed name so that she could contact him then my husband requested she go out and get them their own top-secret, love-connection phones. They “were both becoming only sneaker?” Not at all Al—it was, is,and always has been your wife who is the sneaky one. Your wife has a very nasty habit of stalking, lying, back-stabbing, using people, being two-faced and deceptive, manipulating, and being sneaky—that is who she is because that is who she has proven herself to be—time and time again. I'm not making any of this stuff up, Al--I have seen her in action.




By denying that he was communicating with your wife, ‘the pastor’ was most likely following your wife’s 'Al-outrage,' weepy and chin-quivering instructions—she was the leader in that situation, just like she was the leader in the Tae Kwon Do instructor ‘situation,’ just like she was the leader in the carny guy ‘situation,’ and just like she was—absolutely and emphatically—the leader in the ‘situation’ with my husband.




I doubt very much if Pastor Stevens was “covering for them.” Most likely, Al, he just wanted your sneaky wife to hit the road and get the hell out of his life and his son’s life.



THE AL LANG STORY:
I approached Pastor Stevens with my suspicions at least 10 times in the next month. He assured me he would check into it. On 4 occasions he even said he would insist that ‘the pastor’ step down as a pastor if he found out any of this was true. Often he would just hear me out then say "I'll take care of it" as if to humor me in a fatherly manner. He insisted that he is my pastor and would act objectively on my behalf, but also interrupting our conversations each time to ask if I had spoken to anyone of this matter, stressing that we had a covenant before God to not let this be known. He would neglect to mention each time his own son's part in the covenant of agreeing cut of his relationship with my wife -Margaret. Yes, she was a consenting adult but within the boundaries of their persuasion and influence. It was obvious they were coaching her with some scripted but twisted bible verses that she, Pastor Stevens, and ‘the pastor’ Stevens used on a number of occasions in our conversations as follows; "Jesus never followed the woman caught in adultery around to check on her" forgetting to mention that Jesus told her to go and sin no more, but even more so neither was Jesus a party to her further temptation as the gospel story shows. Or a favorite response: " David fell into adultery in the Bible, but he was Gods man" failing to mention the process of repentance and accountability David owned up to in the same passage of scripture. For someone who was comparing himself to David, ‘the pastor’ ran to his dad often for intervention, unlike the character of King David.



Neither Pastor Stevens nor ‘the pastor’ were ever responsible for your wife’s immoral behavior, Al. Margaret was never “within the boundaries of their persuasion and influence.” Your wife is as vulnerable as a rabid pit bull, Al. If anyone was being persuaded or influenced, it was ‘the pastor,’ and he was absolutely being persuaded and influenced by your wife’s constant and destructive emotional assault against him (I know this without any doubt because this is what your wife did in my life and in my husband’s life). Neither ‘the pastor’ nor Pastor Stevens were “coaching” your wife “with some scripted but twisted bible verses.” Margaret doesn’t get coached, Al—Margaret does the coaching.




No, Jesus never followed the adulteress around to check on her, did He? But that particular adulteress was not your wife, and your adulteress wife went and “sinned” some more, and some more, and then some more, didn’t she? Margaret’s “further temptation?” Margaret was never the one being tempted, Al, it was—as this happened in my own life—Margaret doing the tempting. “You’re so handsome,” “you’re so good at everything you do,” “I need you sooo much,” “I can’t live without you,” “only you can save me from my life of misery,” (with sob, sob, tear-filled eyes and quivering chin), “no one can love you the way I can love you,” “my husband is such a monster and you are soooo much better,” “I can take so much better care of you,” “your wife doesn’t appreciate you the way I appreciate you,” (oh… I need to take my bra off in front of you, and gosh I hope you don’t mind seeing my jutting nipples through my paper-thin t-shirt, and gosh is my pesky shaved bush poking out of my low-rise jeans again?), and so on and so on. Pure, absolute, immoral, improper and unabashed ‘tempting’ and seduction, don’t you agree, Al?




If you want to see someone who has not gone through any “process of repentance and accountability” for their numerous acts of adultery with both married and single men, take a good look at your wife, Al. She did not seem in the least bit ashamed or remorseful or repentant when she talked about this situation. On the contrary, she laughed about it. She thought sneaking around and hiding from you was nothing more than a fun adventure. Your wife showed absolutely no remorse for what she had put you and your children through. Also, if you want to see someone running around searching for “intervention” from her life of misery, take another good look at your wife—she almost begs people to intervene in her life of misery. Take a look around you, Al—who has the history of this type of behavior? Margaret or the men she preys on? Absolutely Margaret.


THE AL LANG STORY:
Or from Genesis: "Ham uncovered Noah in the Bible & was cursed, so be careful that you don't uncover anyone" failing to mention the context in which Ham did this in order to mock Noah, while Pastor Stevens and ‘the pastor’ continued to avoid using any concrete process of accountability letting the affair continue in a more deceptive manner.



“…letting the affair continue in a more deceptive manner…” Wow. Do you really believe that either of these men had any way of slowing down or stopping the “Crazy Margaret Express?” The “affair” (if that is what it was at this point or any other point) was being continued in a more “deceptive manner” because your wife is an uncannily deceptive and sneaky person. Your wife knows what to do, what to say and what not to say to illicit the type of responses and/or behavior from others that she requires and/or needs to attain her goals. Your wife is very secretive and sneaky, and my husband didn’t even know what she was doing until she had him so spun up in her web he didn’t feel there was any way out. In fact, she had him so emotionally exhausted (he was already suffering from clinical depression when he met her, so her constant emotional assaults, constant phone calls and constant presence in our life had rendered him just as numb as I was) he asked her several times to “just put a stop to it,” but she wouldn’t. This is called manipulation, and Margaret is damn good at manipulation.


THE AL LANG STORY:
In late February 1999 Pastor Stevens called me and chewed me out for not forgiving and forgetting, being much more concerned about my inability to process the hurt & betrayal immediately and "forget it ever happened", as a mature believer apparently would according to his reasoning. Pastor Stevens would dismiss my concerns with something like "God forgets what we did and doesn't even look at our sins once we repent" failing to see that his son ‘the pastor’ may have apologized but he did not yet repent.



Pastor Stevens was concerned that you weren’t “forgiving and forgetting” quickly enough? So what was the point of your wife telling me that I needed to “move on” for my “own sake?” You point fingers at everyone around you, but you consistently fail to hold your own wife accountable for her behavior, etc. You can only live with denial for so long, Al, before you begin to drown in it.




You have absolutely no way of knowing if ‘the pastor’ repented or not because you did not speak to him on this subject (and, on the contrary, I know from speaking about these situations with your wife, that she did not repent--I doubt if she even feels she has any reason to repent). I’m sure ‘the pastor’ (as my husband went through the very same thing), just couldn’t comprehend what he had just been through. It took both my husband and I several months to even attempt to comprehend what your wife had just put both of us through in her quest to fill her emptiness or whatever it is she is trying to do (does she even know?). Neither one of us expected what your wife put us through nor were either of us in the least bit prepared. On the contrary, no one could be expected to anticipate the ‘craziness’ that your wife brings into their lives because she makes her movements and her behavior seem so normal.

[not dazed or confused]

Also... the more people I tell about what Margaret said to me at the coffee shop, the more people want to just walk up to this woman and whack her up alongside the head. The consensus, ladies and gentlemen, is that Margaret is missing something that is imperative for mature emotional growth.

[not dazed or confused]

MORE AL LANG STORY...

THE AL LANG STORY:
‘The pastor’ did not repent to the extent that he forsook any involvement with my wife as agreed but became more adept at undermining our marriage. Jesus stated in such matters "If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you... " Matthew 5:30. Christ gave no room for error saying such things. It can be clearly understood that for the sake of the sacred covenant of marriage such a "friendly" relationship has no place and should be cut off. Whenever I reminded them of these obvious commands from the scriptures they represented ‘the pastor’ would rationalize them away citing the strong bonds of "friendship", while Pastor Steven's would appear a little slighted that I was quoting the bible to him in his position as pastor. Earlier in the sequence of events I empathized with Pastor Stevens. I reminded him that even though he insists that he wants to work through this with me, that I know that blood is thicker than water. I suggested that for me to ask of him to advocate on my behalf as a church member in regards to his son was not something I was totally comfortable with. He dismissed this saying "that's from Satan!" assuring me that I could trust him on this whole matter and tell him anything, all the while reminding me " you haven't discussed this with anyone have you?" During this time I had an ambivalent sense of my relation to Pastor Stevens. I was torn emotionally by my love for Margaret, and valued his attentiveness and concern as a pastor but wrestled with denied the possibility that his primary motive was to protect his own interests and ‘the pastors’ since he himself denied this suggesting such thinking was "from Satan".



Once again, Al, you have no way of knowing if 'the pastor' had repented or not.





‘The pastor’ was emphatically not the person who was “adept at undermining your marriage.” It was Margaret who was doing the undermining from the very beginning of her “he’s just like a brother to me” friendship with ‘the pastor.’ ‘The pastor’ was absolutely not after Margaret, Margaret was chasing and stalking ‘the pastor,’ and I know this is true because this is exactly what she did in my husband’s life. Margaret has proven herself to be an ‘opportunist,’ and she attaches herself like a leech to any man who pays her the slightest attention at just the right time. Married people can be friends with members of the opposite sex, Al—just not, obviously, your wife. Your wife believes that ‘friendship’ with a married man is nothing more than foreplay, and not only have I experienced this in my own life, Margaret has repeated this behavior with at least three married men. Who knows? There may be more ‘situations’ that you are not aware of. It’s not as if your wife is very honest and forthright about these ‘situations.’ Perhaps she has tried this many other times, but failed because her previous ‘prey’ weren’t at a low at the time she attempted her special, Margaret-style communication with them (taking her bra off in front of them, stroking their ego, showing off her partially shaved bush, weeping and telling them how miserable she is in her marriage and how only they can save her, etc., etc.), or perhaps your wife just wasn’t able to “hook them” sufficiently? Or perhaps she found that her previous ‘prey’ turned out to be not “like a brother” to her?



THE AL LANG STORY:
By March 1999 I was feeling manipulated, managed and avoided by Pastor Stevens on this whole matter. A friend of Margaret and I, by the name of Tony Selph who is also head of the Greater Grace Ministry Security, approached me and confided that he knew what was going on. We sounded each other out for what the other knew, and was willing to tell. Tony stated some observations he made as head of GGWO security, and by the instincts he developed after 25 years in security work. Tony felt betrayed himself by ‘the pastor’ for the manner in which ‘the pastor’ had sabotaged Tony's position as head of Security on a particular occasion in the past, when former V.P. Dan Quayle came to speak at the church. ‘the pastor’ apparently attempted to steal the spotlight as head of security escorting Mr. Quayle around during his visit while dismissing Tony to a lesser position. Tony felt slighted. During our conversations in November and December 1998, ‘the pastor’ frequently attempted to portray Tony in an unfavorable light, referring to him as " that bastard who keeps hitting on your wife when your not around" After ‘the pastor’ sanctimoniously asked me on one occasion if I wanted him to "fire him (Tony)" or "at least tell his wife" I reminded ‘the pastor’ that I already confronted Tony privately on Nov. 8th. I also reminded ‘the pastor’ that I felt Tony was now acting honorably towards my wife as she confirmed this. ‘The pastor’ insisted that he had enough he could say to Tony's wife about Tony's past indiscretions "to bring him down". In short, ‘the pastor’ was using Tony as a decoy to cover his own actions.



The only person who was manipulating and managing you, Al, was your own wife. If Pastor Stevens was avoiding you at this point, it is possible he was doing so because he was a busy man, and grown tired of your constant harassment of him concerning your manipulative, lying and suicide-threatening wife. Do you really believe it was Pastor Stevens concern or business to whom your wife was offering up her vagina? Your wife is very exhausting, Al. Just listening to all her problems (most of which are of her own creation) is mind numbing.




Maybe all these men were “hitting” on your wife, Al, because she makes it known that she is “easy?” It’s not as if any man who has tried has not been able to get your wife to remove her panties.




‘The pastor’ was not using “Tony” as a “decoy to cover his own actions.” How silly, Al. What makes you think that is, in any way, true?


************************************************** ***********************************
THE AL LANG STORY:
The day after Tony & I talked, Tony told, me he approached ‘the pastor’ with some of his long held in concerns. ‘The pastor’ must have called his dad to say we were talking about him, since Pastor Stevens called me that afternoon to chew me out, telling me I was "violating several biblical doctrines" by talking with Tony and instructing me to call Tony and "say everything I said was a lie, I was just not thinking right, forget everything I said". Before hanging up, Pastor Stevens said "I have 5 pages of notes in my file on that guy (Tony) and can bring him down in a second if he ever spreads any of this" Pastor Stevens called me back the next morning to make sure I called and said this to Tony. I did, though Tony saw right through it.





It is obvious that Pastor Stevens was continuing his effort to ‘cover-up’ the situation. But remember, Al, Pastor Stevens is NOT his son, and his son is NOT Pastor Stevens. Pastor Stevens made a horrible mistake by attempting to cover this whole situation up because it allowed your wife to continue down her path of destruction. If Pastor Stevens had NOT attempted to cover this up, perhaps your wife would have been stopped dead in her path.




It also seems, Al, as if you wanted this whole situation—in the beginning—to be covered up just as much as Pastor Stevens wanted it to be covered up (but both for your own reasons—Pastor Stevens in an attempt to ‘save’ the reputation of his church, and you because you did not want people to know that your wife was an adulteress and that you had been cuckolded) because you did what Pastor Stevens suggested you do—you went to “Tony” and told him a lie. What was the point?



THE AL LANG STORY:
Also on or about Thursday March 4th, 1999 Pastor Stevens went on vacation for a few days. My wife offered to take the kids to school indicating she would be back to say by to me before leaving for work. When she didn't come back within the usual time frame, I decided to look for her and came upon ‘the pastor’ and her talking alone behind the Greater Grace Academy school as if they did not want an audience. As soon as they both saw my car, they stopped talking immediately, as if caught. Margaret began to ask me what I doing following her. She said she felt as if I had hired a detective to monitor her every move. I did not respond to that. Instead I asked ‘the pastor’, who was looking rather sheepish, if his wife had any male friends whom she confided with regularly, and if he minded. ‘The pastor’ mumbled "no" but his wife " had women friends that she talks to". ‘The pastor’ started to claim " my hearts pure - we're just talking - we're just friends". I told him that his own Bible tells him to " abstain from all appearance of evil" quoting first Thessalonians 5:22. Then I asked " if this is not wrong why are you hiding behind the school?" Also," didn't we have some kind of "Covenant" we both agreed to?" He said nothing and left. My wife began to curse at me for embarrassing them and for not trusting her. I left shaking my head in disbelief. I waited till Pastor Stevens came back from his weekend to tell him about this incident, He assured me he would "take care it".



Margaret obviously had this little visit planned, didn’t she? You were following her, Al, weren’t you? And you obviously felt you had a good reason for following her every move (just like you did when we first met the both of you). Margaret just can’t be trusted or believed, can she? Why? Is it because Margaret has proven herself to be less than trustworthy, less than honest, less than loyal or faithful? Absolutely—Margaret is who she has proven herself to be over and over and over.




‘The pastor’ was wrong to believe that Margaret was intent on only being a friend because, once again (and I’m sure ‘the pastor’ was not aware of this at the time), friendship with a married man is nothing but foreplay for Margaret. ‘The pastor’ was most likely, as I have experienced this myself (as well as my hapless husband), just trying to continue to help Margaret with her misery because Margaret cries and weeps and cries some more in order to get people to ‘help her.’ And she is very good at getting people to believe her (of course, I have no idea if what Margaret says is true or not due to her history of dishonesty).




You waited for Pastor Stevens to come back from vacation so he could “take care of it?” Why didn’t you take care of it yourself, Al, and just leave your wife? It’s not as if she was demonstrating to you—in any way, shape or form—that she wanted to remain married to you. Maybe if you had just left her, she wouldn’t have had anything more to speak to ‘the pastor’ about, and she would have, finally, left that poor man alone. You were giving her fuel by simply being there.

[not dazed or confused]

THE AL LANG STORY:
At some point around this time, ‘the pastor’ must have complained to his Dad that he felt as if I was picking on him. He felt as if he was still on trial, and that his heart was pure, and that he would leave the ministry (which was a veiled threat to his Dad) if this didn't stop. This began to spill out in an emotional conversation Pastor Stevens had with me in his car on or about Tuesday March 9t' after lunch. The next month contained four other such incidents. ‘The pastor’ was directly observed by me initiating conversation with my wife when we weren't together in the crowded church gatherings, before and after service, and among the crowd of parents picking up their kids after school.



‘The pastor’ “must have complained to his Dad that he felt as if I was picking on him?” Why would you even think this? It is very possible, Al, that at this point ‘the pastor’s’ “heart was pure.” ‘The pastor,’ unlike your wife, had a spouse with whom he was very much in love with, who was ill, and who he was trying to protect. It wasn’t ‘the pastor’s’ heart that was the problem, Al. The problem was—and always has been—your wife’s heart—and your wife’s heart was NOT pure—any more than your wife’s heart was ever pure when she was in my life. Unfortunately, what the rest of us are unaware of while your wife is busy working on us with her woe-is-me-ness and someone-please-save-me-ness is your wife’s capacity for impureness—in heart and body. What’s worse and scarier is that your wife will maintain that she “never meant” for any of what she does to happen because she pretends—and then tries to get others to believe—that she has no control, and that, Al, is pure, unadulterated bullcrap.




That is what she said to me when she was standing in the kitchen (that I painted for her), in the apartment that I allowed her to rent from my husband, me and our business partner (because I am, and always have been, the gatekeeper), in that same apartmet that I helped her fix up and turn into a 'home' for her and her kids even while she deceptively, dishonestly, manipulatively and behind my back ("oh I love you guys soooo much) had her disgusting, two-faced, back-stabbing hand down my husband's pants. Your wife stood there with tear-filled, mournful eyes and quivering chin--wringing her hands in front of her--and told me "I didn't mean for this to happen." That particular response has to be the most sophmoric and moronic defense I have ever, ever heard in my entire life. How old is your wife, anyway?




‘The pastor’ was wrong to speak to your wife anywhere, anytime or in any capacity, and I assure you, Al, he wishes he had never laid eyes on your wife, and he wishes with all of his heart that he did not reach out to help her even though she was begging for help. My husband, my daughter and I all wish we had never laid eyes on your wife, and we feel completely and absolutely duped for listening to your wife’s miserable woe-is-me lies (but, once again, you tell me Al,. Absolutely no one your wife met while she was in my life has anything good to say about her. “Manipulator,” skank,” whore,” “user,” “backstabber,” “whacko,” etc. (this list represents only the most mild of adjectives used to describe your wife) are all adjectives I’ve heard from my friends when they refer to your wife. Your wife definitely does not leave a very good impression on those she meets. On the contrary, Al, she leaves a very bad "what in the hell was that" impression on most people.


************************************************** ***********************************
THE AL LANG STORY:
During church services, which were held three times a week, Margaret insisted that we sit in the front row of seats directly in front of the platform where several of the pastors, including ‘the pastor’ sat while Pastor Stevens preached. As I sat beside my wife I often noticed ‘the pastor’ making direct eye contact with her often grinning. When I brought this to his and her attention, I was met with responses such s "your paranoid, we're just friends, our hearts are pure before God". When I brought this up to Pastor Stevens on those each of those occasions, he would humor me again with "I'll handle it". I told my wife we need to sit somewhere other than in direct contact with ‘the pastor’ on the preaching platform if our true intention was to hear God's word preached in an undistracted fashion. She vehemently opposed this insisting I was paranoid repeating the same script of their "hearts are pure and that we are just friends". She began to add to her scripted replies that as a husband I was just "insecure".



Your wife “insisted” that you “sit in the front row of seats directly in front of the platform” where ‘the pastor’ was seated? Was she wearing underwear, Al? She has a tendency to think that somehow it’s cool (remember poor, immature and misguided Britney Spears, etc?) to walk around with no underwear, and she always seemed compelled to share this information—including married men.



Who “grinned” first? Was the pastor merely smiling back at her to remain cordial? If your wife was smiling at ‘the pastor,’ it wouldn’t have been very nice if he did not smile back. Once again, Al, it was your wife who was being forward—not ‘the pastor,’ and I know this because this is exactly what she was doing when she was in my life and in my husband’s life (remember she kicked off her sandals, put her feet on the console between my husband and another married man, and then announced—to everyone’s embarrassment—that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Now that is forward). Your wife is ruthlessly tenacious and she does not care who is harmed via her ruthlessness, and I know this as an absolute fact. I have had people tell me stories about how your wife behaved during choir practice at our church—poking my husband and joking around with my husband, laughing and cracking jokes at the expense of others in the choir, etc. All very immature and childish behavior. Once again, how old is your wife, anyway?


THE AL LANG STORY:
As we frequently argued about such things, I would notice the same line of reasoning in her arguments as voiced by ‘the pastor.’ ‘The pastor’ would state similar types of examples of "insecure spouses" in his teaching when I would sit in on some of his Monday evening marriage classes. Pastor Stevens also found opportunity to call me and ask me what I thought of the previous days sermon/message. He did this in a very deliberate manner after speaking on such topics like `leaving skeletons locked in the closet and throwing away the key' during a Wednesday night service in early February 1999 and “true forgiveness is forgetting and never bringing it up again".



It is very possible, Al, that ‘the pastor’ had no idea that your wife was still hot on his trail because she is deceptively subtle with her seduction, her stalking and the pursuit of her prey. You claim your wife used “the same line of reasoning in her arguments as voiced by ‘the pastor,’" but I can assure you that it was ‘the pastor’ using the “line of reasoning” as put forth by your wife. ‘The pastor’ was simply following your wife’s instructions because he had absolutely no reason to come up with any of this stuff on his own. Your wife was leading him just as she was leading my husband. Also, your wife knew the truth, and the truth was you had every right to feel insecure because of what she was doing and saying behind your back (and remember that she is so good at trashing you that everyone believes what she says about you--she is very convincing). But you also have to remember, Al, that your wife had left you and you chose to follow her to Baltimore. It sounds like your wife was being purposely hurtful towards you because you were foolish enough to follow her, and your wife doesn’t care who she hurts, and she has proven this time and time again.




THE AL LANG STORY:
The first two weeks in April 1999 were stormier than before between my wife and I. My futile attempts to persuade her to let go of this relationship, its unhealthy attachment from her end, and consider moving back to Pittsburgh with me were met with angry and hostile comments along with her very cold disposition. While claiming all along that this was Gods will for her life, she told me she felt she was "brainwashed" by me, and that if she could do it over "I wouldn't have married or had kids until I was 28". She also accused me saying "you tricked me into leaving the ministry by moving to Pittsburgh" On at least five occasions during this time she told me " take the girls if you want, and go back to Pittsburgh, this is where Gods called me, I could use the time alone". While the sexual part of the affair continued in a much sneakier and careful manner since first confronted on Jan. 20h,1999 what pushed me to give up my desire to keep us together as a family was my discovery by a friend of Margaret's that ‘the pastor’ and Margaret had one last sexual fling of many since our so caed "Covenant" in January.


Your wife didn’t want to let go of the relationship because she was the one who had pursued ‘the pastor,’ she was the one who continued to pursue ‘the pastor,’ and she was the one who wanted out of her marriage and that is why she had her disappointing affair with her Tae Kwon Do instructor, and that is why she left you (‘the pastor,’ from what I understood after speaking with your wife, never had any plans to leave his wife or family for your wife). When I spoke to my husband about “emotional affairs” and his “he’s just like a brother to me” friendship with Margaret, he looked at me with the infamous ‘deer-in-the-headlights’ look, and with absolute shame (something that I did not recognize till much later). Because my husband had been faithful during our entire time together, and because he always ‘self-corrected’ when I brought an issue to his attention, I had no reason to believe that he would not ‘self-correct’ again. But then I had no idea to what extent your wife was throwing herself at him because I had no idea your wife was so desperate and immoral, and I had absolutely no idea that your wife lacked a conscience (remember—your wife looked me in the eye on several occasions after I kicked my husband out of my house, and she told me, very emphatically, that her “conscience was clear”).



Your wife was the leader in this situation just like she was the leader in the situation between her and my husband. My husband—just like ‘the pastor’—had never done anything like what he was doing with your wife, but your wife has now done this numerous times. So who do you think has the real problem, Al? The problem was, and has always been, your morally ambiguous wife. She stalks, she pursues, and then she doesn’t let go because she needs. She is very, very good at stalking and pursuing, and she is, as I have learned, very desperately needy.



If there was a “one last sexual fling” it was undoubtedly your wife making sure there was another fling, and I’m sure your wife was disappointed that ‘the pastor’ finally wised up and started turning her down. ‘The pastor’ was still very much in love with his wife and I am sure that he was already starting to ‘wake-up’ from the Margaret nightmare, and I know this because that is how my husband refers to the time Margaret was in our life—a horrible nightmare—and my husband and ‘the pastor’ have a great deal in common.




THE AL LANG STORY:
This last known fling took place in Oregon State Park north of Baltimore on the Thursday aternoon April 8th, 1999. Whether any occurred after I'm not sure.



That’s what you say. If this is so, Al, I’m sure your wife was the leader.


************************************************** ***********************************
THE AL LANG STORY:
I stopped my personal surveillance that I employed and began to ponder with deep sorrow what I would tell my kids. How could they make sense of all they heard and learned the past few months I attempted to downplay it and explain it in palatable terms that children could handle though they indicated that they knew more and were very confused. I was angry that two innocent children of mine were tormented with their own questions to me, that I attempted to answer about the conduct of a pastor and their mom. Both children told me they observed ‘the pastor’ Stevens and my wife speaking together quietly on those days in which my wife would pick them up after school. They didn't understand why they were so friendly with each other while my wife and I often argued about him. My wife confessed to me later about something called a "P.F.A.". Adding insult to injury, on April 13th, before his final scheme to arrange a PFA (Protection From Abuse) order against me, ‘the pastor’ told me he didn't like feeling guilty every time he saw me and that his `heart was pure" and that "souls are being saved in this church" and that he didn't feel right encouraging my wife to leave his church and "her calling". I nterrupted what came across as a defensive tirade from him, reminding him that marriage is considered a high & sacred calling, and not second to membership in his particular church. I then reminded him that my two small daughters also have a "calling of God" on their lives which was no less important than the all the members of his church, citing the passage from Luke 15 in which the shepherd considered one lost sheep as valuable as the other ninety-nine. He went to his car mumbling "I don't know what you want me to do".



And then your wife did it to your “…innocent children” again, didn’t she Al? But this time she had three “innocent children” to screw and mess up. Your wife had absolutely no problem dragging your “innocent children” through another “ordeal,” did she? Does she have any comprehension of what she is doing to her “innocent children” and what she is teaching them? Your oldest daughter already has absolutely no respect for either of you (although it seems she has some respect for your wife because of all of the horrible things she tells your children about you, because she is always building herself up to them and everyone who will listen, and she is always trying to get people to believe that she is 'forever' the victim), she has absolutely no respect for marriage, and she thinks “God” and Christianity are jokes (read her twitter account—that is how you and your wife have brought up your children... especially read the "stand for Marriage" remark). Your middle daughter thinks you’re “weird” and "embarassing" (you can thank your wife, once again, for her believing this—Margaret does not ‘hold you up’ as a wife and mother should, she continuously puts you down to everyone—including your children. I have heard her do this).




I listened to your wife telling your youngest daughter to lie to you one day, and I later took Margaret aside and told her how wrong that was. Margaret has lied all of her life—first to her emotionally absent mother and alcoholic father—and then to you, and she learned, undoubtedly, to lie to avoid conflict and to get away with things (she maintains that she was petrified of her father and stayed out of his way—children of alcoholic parents often learn to lie just to ‘stay safe’ and avoid ugliness). This is something she, obviously, has never grown out of. And your son? What is going to happen to him? What horrible things is Margaret saying about you to him behind your back? Poor Isaac.



What’s worse, Al, is that your wife made sure her kids were sufficiently bonded to me while she had her hand down my husband’s pants and while she was cupping his balls. Your wife made sure your kids were at my house nearly every single day she had them, and she made sure she could make good use of me while she worked diligently to get my husband to leave me and to run off with her and live happily ever after (not to mention the diet she was on so she could look her skinniest when they finally f*&%ed). Your wife made sure I interacted with her children daily—especially your son—so that she could stalk, chase and pursue my husband without my interference right in my own living room. Your wife made sure your kids really liked me before she was going to screw me and pull out her knife so she could, finally, stab me in the back. Your wife did not care in the least what effect the entire ordeal would have on your “innocent children.” She didn’t care in Baltimore, and she didn’t care while she was in my life. What does your wife care about? Getting her needs met, “throwing herself” into a married man’s hobbies, herself, obsessive exercise, herself, her physical appearance, herself and plastic surgery—that’s all I ever witnessed her really caring about. Your wife talks the ‘good’ talk, Al, but she has no idea how to walk the ‘good’ walk. I did not witness any real goodness in your wife at any time while she was practically living in my home. Can you really think of anything ‘good’ about your wife?



Why did you think ‘the pastor’ was going to file a “PFA” against you? Where would he have gotten the idea to do this? What was your “emotionally stable and loving, caring and nurturing” wife telling him about you? Were you threatening her and/or ‘the pastor’ in any way, or was your life just lying some more? Your wife pretty much did the same thing in my life, Al. Your wife isn’t content to wallow in the gutter herself—she likes to bring down as many innocent people as she possibly can (including, even, your “innocent children”). Even though I had ever done or said anything negative or unfriendly to her the entire time she was in my life, and even though she was the one who was causing all the problems and pain in my life, she still made it out like I was the ‘monster.’ I was going to “shoot them both,” I was going to “destroy their motorcycles,” I was going to “steal her money,” etc. I have no idea what other nonsense your wife was coming up with—these are the only things my husband would tell me. Why does your wife do this, Al? Because there is something missing in her—I cannot think of any other explanation.



‘The pastor’ would have had absolutely no idea what you wanted him to do because he had no idea what to do to get himself and his life disentangled from the emotional chaos of your wife. He should have (and I’m sure he wishes now that he had done this) told your wife to hit the road and to get the hell out of his life. Very likely, Al, ‘the pastor’ was still suffering from being nice, because I suffered from the very same ailment. Who Margaret is goes against everything people like me, my husband and ‘the pastor’ believe in and trust. Margaret does not, in any way, represent the norm that any of us have become accustomed to in our lives which is why she has been able to get away with so much.

[christinusonearth]

I feel for The Langs. My wife was heavily influenced by a jerk pastor. He meant well, but I cannot says this one is or isn't. All I know is that a pastor does not have the role to tell a wife what to do. Our system of church is so screwed up, it's pitiful. I want you to read this book that set me free. It's about stopping the false roles of authority, submission, that is inflicted on people.

Listen to this quote in this book:

“Thousands of utterly unbroken men were bullying churches and people all over America. Their pronouncement: ‘You must submit to me; God has placed me in authority over you."

That was from this website on Gene Edwards. (http://www.geneedwards.us/) Good stuff, pick up a copy on Amazon cheap if you want to read more. Give it to the wife to read also.

Gene Edwards books on Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Divine-Romance-Inspirational-Gene-Edwards/dp/0842310924)

The book I'm referring to is a $1 something used. I've prayed for you and your wives freedom, and revelation of the truth. Take care.

[not dazed or confused]

Good afternoon, Christisonearth...

I agree that there are some pastors who use their autoritative role (just like many people in different positions of authority use their roles) to manipulate, but in that is absolutely NOT the case in this situation.

If you are going to "feel" for anyone, please "feel" for Al Lang, 'the pastor' that Margaret Lang manipulated (and who's life she and her husband, Al, attempted to destroy through their fact-challenged lawsuit) and that 'pastor's' family. Margaret is the one who uses hyper-emotion, deception and dishonesty to manipulate those she decides she needs.

All 'the pastor' did in this case was to reach out to someone who claimed, over and over and emphatically, that she needed help to escape her marriage because of her acute unhappiness. I know this because this is what she did in my life, and she is uncannily good at getting people to listen to her speak of her life of misery with her husband.

I think it is the easy route to take to automatically blame someone else for their own failings or for unpleasant situations, etc. In this particular case, Al Lang (did he know the truth or did he believe his wife's lies? I don't know) took the easy route--which is the route of denial--so that he would not be faced with the truth about his wife. Once someone is faced with 'a truth' they are forced to make serious decisions concerning that truth, and I do not feel Al Lang could bring himself to do that. Margaret Lang had committed adultery previous to this situation, and she committed adultery twice after this situation. On the contrary, 'the pastor' in this situation had never been unfaithful to his wife before Margaret talked her 'good talk,' and he has not been unfaithful since--nor would he even consider that--we are talking about a very good man here who just happened to listen to Margaret's good talk full of "...persuasive words" that she used to lead "him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk." Unfortunately 'the pastor' (as well as all of the other men Margaret Lang has committed adultery with) "...followed her like an ox going to the slaugher, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life."

To get a better understanding of what actually happened you will need to read the entire story of "The Continuing Saga of the Langs." Margaret Lang was never taken advantage of by anyone, and it has been my unfortunate experience to know absolutely that it is Margaret Lang who takes advantage of people who are down, incapacitated and vulnerable.

Thank you for your interest and your response.

[not dazed or confused]

I have sent Al Lang the following message:

Al:

I have posted a story concerning my and my families time with your wife on factnet. I felt it was necessary to tell the truth about what happened in my life, and to contrast that truth with what you had written in 'The Al Lang Story.' I have also been counter-pointing ‘The Al Lang Story’ because I now know the truth about what happened in that situation since I have had the very unfortunate experience of having your wife in my life long enough to find out exactly what she is and what she is capable of doing.

I made a statement in my story that advised that once I had posted my story that I would make you aware of it, and give you and/or your wife the opportunity to point out any errors in my story or point out any areas in which I may have mischaracterized your wife. I also stated that if I have erroneously posted anything that is untrue or that mischaracterizes your wife that I would be more than happy to post both a retraction and an apology which is a courtesy that you did not extend to the pastor whom you and your wife decided to bring your fact-challenged lawsuit against simply because he was, just like me and my family, unfortunate enough to believe your wife’s lies and fall for her woe-is-me manipulation. I will warn you that I absolutely did not candy-coat any of my story, and neither did I lie or leave anything out of my story. My story is based on my nearly everyday, intimate experience with your wife.

If you do choose to bring something to my attention that you feel is incorrect on that particular forum, please bear in mind that just because you may not like something that I have posted does not mean what I have posted is in error. Also, please remember that I have many witnesses who saw the destruction your wife created in my family and in my life, but, like me, they had no idea what was going on until the day I kicked your wife out of my life. Since you are the author of ‘The Al Lang Story,’ when I counter-point that story, I address my points to you directly. My counter-points may at times seem harsh, but that harshness is only a result of what I found to be completely wrong, blind and/or incredibly misleading (and therefore extremely annoying) in ‘The Al Lang Story.‘

[not dazed or confused]

MORE "AL LANG STORY":

THE AL LANG STORY:
When I awoke the next morning on Wednesday April 14th, my wife said in a very cold tone that she needed time by herself She said she wanted a separation. She told me to "take our two daughters and go back to Pittsburgh" if I wanted, and that she was staying with Greater Grace Church "because this is where God wanted her". She then left for work about 7:30 A.M., saying "I'll see you guys off when I get home from work". I lost no time in packing my car, awoke my children, made phone calls to two of her brothers associated with the church, and her sister Patricia in New Hampshire, to tell them what has been going on the last five months. I had called her mom in Florida the day before as I anticipated what may happen. Her mother is a devout Catholic Christian who raised 11 children and was always charitable in her manner towards me. I told her mother what was really going on named names. Margaret's mother was grieved, and stated that "they"(Pastor Stevens and ‘the pastor’) "are wolves in sheep's clothing". Margaret's family appeared stunned in their own way. Patricia is not affiliated with GGWO but previously knew some of the details of our marital problems to now understand the whole account. She was incensed with Pastor Stevens and ‘the pastor’ for using her sister. She let this be known by calling another sister within the ministry, Catherine in Baltimore, and telling her so. Because of her commitment to Pastor Stevens, Catherine refused to listen at first until Patricia made it clear that she knew what happened and would not cover it up. Patricia on one hand could be a very gracious person. On the other hand she was not swayed by blind loyalty to Pastor Stevens and would not keep quiet if they continued to use her little sister. One brother suggested I was paranoid and had "a root of bitterness" which was unfounded by saying such things. His defensiveness toned down a notch when he began to come to terms with what I could prove to him. The two brothers suggested we meet with ‘the pastor’ that night at church to see if what I claimed was true.




She had already left you, Al, so her wanting a “separation” was rather redundant, wasn’t it? She was that willing to give up her own children? After having your wife in my life, I am not in the least bit surprised because she did tell me that after her children reached a certain age she was no longer interested in them. Possibly because her own parents—the emotionally distant mother and the alcoholic father—did not interact with her while she was growing up.



She wanted to stay with Greater Grace because that is what she had “thrown” herself into at that time. Very similar to her “throwing” herself into her Tae Kwon Do lessons, very similar to her throwing herself into sport bikes and (laughingly) lawn care, and just like she “threw” herself into Harleys. Your wife does that—whatever her prey or current target is interested in, she becomes interested in.



Hahahaha… Margaret’s mother referring to “they” as being “wolves in sheep's clothing" when it was her own daughter—and this has been my experience—who was the wolf walking around in her tight-fitting and rock-hard fake breast-revealing sheep’s clothing (not to mention ‘bush’ revealing as well). And that is exactly who and what she was while she was in my life AND while she was in ‘the pastor’s’ life. She acts innocent and vulnerable with all of her tears and her quivering chin and all of her talk of “loving” and wanting to “serve,” but it was nothing more than a scam so she could stick her hand down a married man’s pants and start stroking his balls. Ewwww.



Neither Pastor Stevens nor ‘the pastor’ ever—ever—used Margaret. Not once did either of these men—or anyone else involved in your wife’s life both before and after this incident—used Margaret. On the contrary, Al, it is your wife who uses and uses and uses and then uses some more. Your wife came into my life when both my husband and I were bruised, and she made it very apparent to both of us that she needed, so I put my own problems on a shelf so that I could deal with them later while I, unfortunately, helped your wife use me and suck everything out of my already suffering heart and life. When I read this portion of your story, Al, I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or vomit at your incredible and completely and absolutely wrong description concerning exactly who was using whom. I cannot decide if you are just simply incapable of comprehending what and who your wife is, or if you have just chosen to walk down the path of least resistance—the path of total and absolute denial—so that you do not have to face the reality of your wife and make a serious decision about what to do with her and your life together.



Margaret’s sisters, her mother, and her brothers were just as duped by Margaret as ‘the pastor,’ me, my husband and dozens of others. You did not tell any of these people the whole truth, Al. You left out the most important part of your story, and that was that it was your wife who stalked, pursued, used and then sucked everything that was good out of the unsuspecting ‘pastor’ just as she had done, most recently, with my own unsuspecting, bruised and depressed husband. Your half-truths and omissions of facts and outright lies continued when you sued GGWO and ‘the pastor,’ and as a result of the lies you and your wife spread, many people would be led to believe things that were absolutely not true about ‘the pastor’ and the situation your wife put him, his father and the entire church in. I know this as an absolute and indisputable fact because I have, unfortunately, experienced your wife.



I would say it was you, Al, who suffered—and continues to suffer—from “blind loyalty” to your sneaky, scheming and deceptive wife. You are your own worst enemy, Al. I also believe Margaret’s family suffers from “blind loyalty” to Margaret, and, unfortunately, that “blind loyalty” has allowed them to enable her immoral and inappropriate behavior. Margaret’s ‘cheerleader’ family have become her worst enemies in that Margaret has never had to be truly accountable for her immoral and inappropriate behavior because her family—her sisters, her brothers and her parents—are constantly making excuses and/or blaming her problems and her behavior on outside sources—you included. Even Margaret’s sister, Katherine, told me that my husband must “have a lot of power over Margaret,” and she told me that my husband must have had “adultery in his heart all along.” I can assure you, Al, that my husband had absolutely NO power over Margaret and that he did not have adultery in his heart “all along.” Margaret is, and has always been, an opportunist, and she targets men who are ‘down’ because that is the only way she can get them to “jump” when she asks them.



THE AL LANG STORY:
That night, April 14th, the two brothers and ‘the pastor’ were waiting for me as we met at 8:15 pm in Pastor Steven’s office. What they discussed previous to my arrival I don't know. Pastor Stevens was in the chapel preaching. ‘The pastor’ appeared scared and nervous beneath a cool facade he was attempting to wear with the two brothers who are also pastors of some degree within GGWO, and myself. At first, ‘the pastor’ admitted to the two brothers in front of me of his involvement with Margaret. He appeared very meek as he apologized to me. I told ‘the pastor’ that his attempt to portray our moving to Pittsburgh as being from Satan was wrong. With the two brothers though, ‘the pastor’ attempted to back-peddle and downplay his real intentions for the whole affair.




Wow… the brothers had to get involved AGAIN when Margaret was in my life, didn’t they? Did their involvement remind you of anything? I don’t really know what happened in this office, Al, but Margaret’s brothers and ‘the pastor’ know what truly happened, and I am sure that ‘the pastor’ had told them what had really occurred, and it is possible that they were all trying to protect your feelings (as a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure that this was what this whole meeting was about). I do not believe ‘the pastor’ was trying to “back-peddle and downplay his real intentions for the whole affair,” I believe he was trying to do something to get your wife off his back. Margaret’s brothers, I’m sure, are now very much aware of Margaret’s true involvement with that little caper, and if they aren’t now after what she has pulled in my life, then they are as stupid and ignorant as Margaret has proven herself to be.



How often does your wife need to be saved or rescued from her own stupidity and ignorance?




THE AL LANG STORY:
‘The pastor’ suggested that he became involved in helping Margaret while she was threatening to kill herself on Halloween night 1998 failing to mention his previous pattern of solicitation with e-mail correspondence & phone calls. He attempted to portray himself to her brothers as a fallen friend who was just trying to help another friend who was suicidal and then fell into sin twice, instead admitting his previous contacts with phone calls and e-mails which began months before, plus the forty plus times I discovered during my investigation. I stood momentarily speechless, as ‘the pastor’ apologized again to me and then quickly dismissed himself to join the church service already in progress. I again sensed there was a difference here between a dramatic apology and true biblical repentance.




‘The pastor’ had absolutely NO “previous pattern of solicitation with e-mail correspondence and phone calls.” What he was telling Margaret’s brothers was the truth. It was your wife who was corresponding and making all the phone calls, and it was your wife who was doing the stalking and the pursuing. You would have known this if you had paid any attention to who initiated the e-mails and phone conversations (and, I’m pretty sure you did know who was initiating all of the communication between your wife and ‘the pastor,’ but it was easier to place the blame on someone else, wasn’t it?). Where are the e-mails and where are the phone records? Your wife has a very serious phone addiction, and she likes to spend hours on the phone talking about all her problems, and I know this because this is what she did in my life with both me and my husband. We were, like ‘the pastor,’ stupid to have gotten involved with your suck-the-life-out-of-everyone wife, and we—just like ‘the pastor’—regret our involvement with all of our hearts and souls.



‘The pastor’ was absolutely telling Margaret’s brothers the truth, Al, and I know this without any doubt because this is exactly what she did in my husband’s life—and I have the phone records and the witnesses to prove this. Your wife is a needy, clingy stalker who ruthlessly, inappropriately and pathetically pursues married men—plain and simple. Once again, Al, where are the emails and phone records, and have the e-mails been authenticated? Remember your wife and her assumed AOL name? Remember the phones she went out and got for her and my husband?



Thank God my husband didn’t have an email account and no interest in computers or we would have, without a doubt, even lost more of our lives through your wife’s incessant neediness and penchant for constant physical, verbal and, if there were an email account--written contact. It wasn’t enough that we were forced to live off the money I received in child support arrearages (which was earmarked for other things including our retirement fund), it wasn’t enough that our credit score plummeted 100 points (as a result of my final dive into the abyss of depression when your wife bent over at the waist, lubed up and begged my husband to stick his head up her ass which made him completely and absolutely emotionally unavailable to me once he became your wife’s lap dog/puppet), and it wasn’t enough that our home was in foreclosure when I finally kicked your wife out of my life—if my husband had had an email account, we probably would have lost even more, and it’s very possible we wouldn’t have anything left.



It is your wife who was the problem in the pastor’s life just like it was your wife who was the problem in my life and in my husband’s life. Your wife, as my husband has stated numerous times, was a walking, talking, needy, clingy nightmare, and unfortunately, because both my husband and I were incapacitated because of our depression when she came into our lives and when she was in our life, we didn’t recognize the nightmare until we had lost just about everything. That’s the joy your “emotionally stable and loving, caring and nurturing” wife brought into our lives, Al.



What you “sensed” was absolutely wrong, Al. It seems to me—and this paragraph screams this—that ‘the pastor’ was completely done with both you and your wife by this time. And, most likely, feeling like a fool and an idiot for having had anything to do with your wife to begin with—just like both my husband and I now feel, just as the Tae Kwon Do instructor feels and just as Avery the carny man feels. Your wife was a huge and astronomical waste of both my husband’s and my time, our emotion, our lives, our energy, our goodness and our kindness, and she brought nothing good or positive to either me or my husband just like she has brought absolutely nothing good or positive to anyone’s life—not your life, not your children’s lives, and absolutely not ‘the pastor’ and his families lives. Is there anything good about your wife, Al? If you can think of anything ‘good’ about your wife, please feel free to post your list because I would like to see what you feel constitutes ‘goodness.’

[not dazed or confused]

THE AL LANG STORY:
I told Margaret's Brother John Hadley, that this was another attempt to deny responsibility on ‘the pastor’s’ Part as he changed his story from his original confession back in January. The two brothers, John and Jim, appeared embarrassed by the whole matter, since they were friends of ‘the pastor’ for seventeen plus years. The oldest brother John acting as liaison between ‘the pastor’ and I, seemed reluctant to push the matter much with ‘the pastor’, since ‘the pastor’ in effect had authority to fire John. John assured me that ‘the pastor’ promised he would stop any attempts whether secret or open, in communicating with Margaret. This appeared to be believable enough for John but not for me as I told John. John suggested that I may be just paranoid at this point but assured me he would keep an eye on ‘the pastor’. I asked John how he would know if ‘the pastor’ attempted to call Margaret or e-mail her.


What you told John was wrong. You were looking for a scapegoat, Al, because you did not want to believe your wife was capable of doing what she did—just like you previously stated that the Tae Kwon Do instructor “worked on” Margaret for 10 months to have sex with her when it was your wife working on the Tae Kwon Do instructor so that she could have sex with him (and possibly save her from you), and just like she had been working on my husband so that he would finally f&%$ her, and then save her from her life of misery (pretty ugly if you ask me). It seems to me that ‘the pastor’ did admit and apologize for his part in this whole sordid and ugly situation, and it is very possible and highly likely that the reason ‘the pastor’ seemed to have changed his story, Al, is that what was really going on had finally dawned on him. No man wants to admit that they could be capable of falling for the crap your wife throws at them—ask my husband. It is neither ‘the pastor’s’ problem or John Hadley’s problem that you have a problem with reality, and/or that you had chosen to place the blame for your own wife’s ugliness and immorality on someone else’s shoulders.



I don’t really know what took place in that office, Al, but I can assure you that ‘the pastor’ still had no real comprehension of what had just happened to his life, or that the real comprehension of what just happened was just finally rearing its head in all its ugliness in ‘the pastor’s mind. I know this because it took both my husband and I months to put the ‘Margaret nightmare’ together, and for us to actually believe or have any kind of understanding about what had just taken place in our lives. Both my husband and I were depressed (in varying degrees) when your wife entered our lives, and she took full advantage of our compromised situation, our vulnerabilities and my incapacitated state. What is worse, Al, is that your wife knew what was going on in my husbands and my life, but this did not hinder her neediness, her clinginess, her hyper-emotional seduction of my husband or her desperation to be saved by him in the least.



I told Margaret, on numerous occasions, what was going on with me and with my husband. I told her everything. I told her I was weak, I told her the anti-depressants I was on made me foggy, I told her that I felt as if I had “lost my power,” and I told her everything there was to tell about what I had just gone through with my daughter’s drug addiction. I was absolutely wrong to believe she was a normal human being with a normal conscience, or that she would be either sympathetic or emphatic with what my husband and I had gone through and continued to go through. I was horribly, horribly wrong. I believe this is proof enough to invalidate your claim that your wife is—or ever has been—an “emotionally stable and caring, loving and nurturing” woman. I have many witnesses, Al, who would be more than willing to provide evidence to support everything that I have written.



It’s not ‘the pastor’ you ever had to be concerned with, Al, it was your wife you had to be concerned with. Do you finally get this?



THE AL LANG STORY:
John dismissed my reservations as being "from Satan". I witnessed this as a blatant attempt by ‘the pastor’ to use his Dad' complicity in hiding the matter from any further form of accountability. ‘The pastor’ displayed a habit of lying by downplaying his actions if he could not effectively deny them outright. This was obvious in one particular e-mail communication dated November 1998 to Margaret in which he joked about losing his qualifications to marriage-counsel "if' they kept up their affair. It wasn't clear to him that he had disqualified himself when first initiating the affair months earlier.



That is because John and the rest of Margaret’s family were no more aware of who the real Margaret is and what she is capable of doing than either you or ‘the pastor’ were aware of the real Margaret. As for ‘the pastor’ “downplaying” his actions, Al, I’m absolutely positive that he was being just as absolutely honest. He had just been hit by ‘Hurricane Margaret,’ and I’m sure he had no comprehensible way of explaining what happened any more than the Tae Kwon Do instructor, Avery the carny man or my husband had any way of explain what had happened to them, and why they began down your wife’s path that “leads to the spirits of the dead.” Your wife’s behavior goes against everything these men were used to, but your wife—unbelievably—was able to normalize her actions and behavior. I know this, Al, because she did the same thing to me, and I remember thinking “that just doesn’t seem right,” but because I was incapacitated I simply ignored and/or slid those thoughts to the back of my mind. It wasn’t until after I kicked Margaret out of my life that all those “that just doesn’t seem right” feelings and thoughts came flooding back, and then it took me months to put everything together.



Yes… when anyone is engaging in that type of behavior it definitely does disqualify them from helping others—I agree with that statement. However, ‘the pastor’ is actually in a much better position to help those going through (or thinking about going through) something similar because he is 100% aware of the horror that type of behavior causes at every level of someone’s life. I can assure you, Al that once someone walks down your wife’s “crooked path” they have absolutely no desire to do anything like that again. Your wife offers a good education in what not to do, how not to behave and what to run away from as fast as your legs can carry you, and to run as if Satan, Himself, is right behind you. Ask any of them—they’ll tell you.


THE AL LANG STORY:
Another instance of his ongoing deception was plain to see through during January 1999, when I discovered the e-mail evidence, but had yet not told anyone due to my shock and disbelief. I knew that he was having an affair with my wife, but had not yet decided on a way to confront the matter, as I witnessed the following: At 10:30 each morning, ‘the pastor’ would join his dad, Pastor Stevens on the church's radio broadcast. When the subject of President Clinton's impeachment came up, ‘the pastor’ spoke up emphatically that "Clinton should resign, he's a hypocrite". I sat in disbelief as I watched & listened from the small audience of people who viewed the live broadcast how easy for both Pastor Stevens and ‘the pastor’ to sit in judgement of the obvious ways of the President but fail to examine their own ministry. ‘The pastor’s’ duplicity was obvious once again a few days later still not knowing that I had found out. ‘The pastor’ approached me in a rather chummy manner saying he had a plan to help me expose the Martial Arts instructor who "misused his authority and crossed the line with your wife". ‘The pastor’ suggested calling the mans wife and "tell her everything and watch their marriage fall apart"



Why is would this be only an “ongoing” instance of ‘the pastor’s “deception? What about your wife’s deception? Unfortunately, Al, when people engage in this type of behavior they are able (if they are normal men and women with a strong moral center and an actual conscience) to compartmentalize their behavior, and to rationalize and justify their behavior. I watched my own husband do this (even though I had no idea why he was behaving so strangely, so ugly and so crazy).



The real problem at the time ‘the pastor’ approached you about the martial arts instructor is that he was still not aware of Margaret’s real involvement in that particular one-night stand affair. ‘The pastor’ had obviously not experienced the dawning of reality that would shed light on the real situation yet. I’m sure he is very much aware—as is my husband and many others—of the true situation between your wife and the Tae Kwon Do instructor. Your wife expects those she targets to protect her (just like you’ve been doing for years and so you know what I am referring to), and she uses specific techniques to elicit this type of behavior in her prey including the tear-filled eyes, the quivering chin, the “I’m always the poor, innocent victim of everyone else’s badness,” the woe-is-me-ness and the someone-please-save-me-ness. I know you have experienced all of this.



THE AL LANG STORY:
Among my many personal self-examinations, feelings and questions during this time, I asked Almighty God for strength I did not possess. During one such moment the face of my late father, bless his memory, flashed into my mind. He loved my mother for fifty-two years before his death in 1997. My mother a devout Catholic Christian will be the first to say he never abused her in any manner though men got away with it a lot easier years ago. He was an imperfect man who along with my mother raised thirteen children. He mirrored for me Solomon's proverb: "One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, one who controls his own spirit than one who controls a city." Proverbs 16:32



And God was the only person you could have turned to during this time. You are an imperfect man, Al, but you happen to marry a woman who is always on the lookout for the ideal man and that ideal man simply does not exist. Once again, Al, while I listened to your wife’s never-ending list of reasons you were such a poor husband and why she was so unhappy with you I remember thinking “well, that’s not so bad,” but your wife has this incredible ability to make what you do seem so much worse than what it really is. The only thing I really agreed with her about was your refusal to purchase prescriptions for your children which forced Margaret to go to your mother for money—now that, in my opinion, is a solid reason getting angry with you—but absolutely not a good, solid reason for cheating on you or speaking so unkindly and unfairly about you behind your back. But that is a problem between you and your wife.



The difference between you and Margaret, Al, is that you witnessed the good marriage (although imperfect and flawed like all marriages) between your parents, and Margaret witnessed an extremely dysfunctional marriage between her emotionally unavailable mother and her angry, verbally and physically abusive father. You know how a marriage should work, and Margaret has never known how a marriage should work which is why she never really contributed as much as you to your relationship the way she should have. Margaret simply—as I have learned—does not know how to contribute to a healthy, growing relationship of any kind. Margaret has never said to herself “you know, I don’t want a marriage like my parents had when I was growing up, so I am going to do the research and learn how to make a good marriage, and I am going to make my marriage good and healthy and I am going to make it work for both me and my husband.” Nope—she has never done that because it has been easier and brainless for her to sit back and expect someone else—you—to do all the work while she is safely taken care of and protected the way she expects.



THE AL LANG STORY:
My daughters and I stopped to say a prayer on the porch of our apartment before we left. They sobbed out loud for several minutes as we huddled each other. Along the way my daughters speculated out loud how to keep Pastor Stevens or ‘the pastor’ from contacting us again. They said things such as make sure and tell everyone to not let them know where we live or our phone number, they also speculated as to how we could persuade their mom to come home. Into my thoughts flashed a scripture verse from Matthew 18: "Whoever shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and drowned in the depths of the sea....offenses such as this will happen, but woe to that man by whom the offenses come!" My wife phoned the next day very distraught. She sounded as if she had been coached to suggest the following comments: "What were you doing telling other people what happened?" "If others find out about this, thousands of people will be affected, many souls will die and go to hell because of you" " I perceived in this further coaching and manipulation of the scriptural text as I encountered before with Pastor Stevens and ‘the pastor’. I wasn't buying it.



I feel so badly for your daughters that they were forced to go through this, Al. It must have been traumatizing for both of them—just as it was traumatizing (and most likely embarrassing) for your children when she did this again a year ago. The problem, Al, is that both you and your children were placing all of the blame on ‘the pastor’ (maybe that was best for the kids to believe that particular lie? I don’t know).



Your wife, once again, Al, was not coached to say anything she did not want to say, and you have lived with her long enough to know that what Margaret wants to say or do is very much Margaret’s decision. Both of us have seen the stiffening of the spine, the squaring of the shoulders, the narrowing of the eyes, and the stubborn, stuck-out chin that indicates that Margaret is going to do what Margaret wants to do regardless of the consequences because that is what Margaret wants and needs. Once again, Al, Margaret was absolutely not being coached.

************************************************** ***********************************
THE AL LANG STORY:
She called again an hour later, now more composed, saying she wanted to come home. I asked her if she needed Pastor Stevens ermission to do so. She said the decision was hers, but admitted he told it was better for her to leave, as if he was thinking of her welfare first, and of course not his own reputation or possible scandal. Three words summarized his technique with Margaret: Use, confuse and dismiss.



Your wife called you to tell you she was coming home because ‘the pastor’ refused to leave his wife and family for her even though she begged and pleaded for him to do so. It was never Margaret’s decision to go back to you. ‘The pastor,’ fortunately for his mental health, was finally wising up to Margaret’s own ability to “use, confuse and dismiss,” and you are more than welcome to ask my husband about this because that is exactly what she did to him, and in a much different way that is exactly what she did to me.




Of course he was thinking about his own reputation—why shouldn’t he? He was finally realizing and/or comprehending the horror and the chaos that your wife had caused in his life. I know this, Al, because this is exactly what my husband had to go through when your wife went running back to you once she learned that absolutely no one was going to accept her relationship with my husband with open arms. Your wife’s fantasy life is truly amazing when you consider its total lack of reality, truth, logic or sense.


In a parting shot from Pastor Stevens, Margaret told me he said he "didn't believe we were called by God to Pittsburgh because the sentimental attachments of your husband with his family will keep you from God's call." Two weeks before, (on March 30th) in a phone call with Pastor Stevens, he told me he agreed with me that we should move back to Pittsburgh and separate ourselves from the ongoing situation, and would suggest this to my wife when he counseled her.



Pastor Stevens most likely was counseling your wife to move back to Pittsburgh because he finally realized that the problem was not with either you or his son, the problem was with Margaret. Many people have fallen for your wife’s woe-is-me-ness, Al, and Pastor Stevens was not an exception. Why Pastor Stevens “parting shot” would be what it was is odd because he should have known and realized that the only thing keeping Margaret from “God’s call” was Margaret herself. Perhaps he hadn’t had the “full comprehension” yet?



We began the difficult task of reconciliation and rebuilding our marriage. Considering her state of mind and emotions Margaret refused to accept any form of professional counseling with a Christian association, or from a Christian counselor. It was too obvious even to her that this fierce struggle within her wouldn't go away. She could not openly admit this for fear of offending God by acknowledging that she was taken advantage of by 2 pastors. To openly express this to anyone would be to "uncover God's man" according to the inbred twisted teaching of Pastor Steven's. On April 28`,1999, during a very despondent episode and through suppressed sobs she added "I know I'm not supposed to, but sometimes I really hate them for what they did". She wondered out loud whether or not she was "saved".



“We began the difficult task of reconciliation and rebuilding” your marriage? Or was it you who began that “difficult task?” What did Margaret really contribute to reconciling herself to you except to accept that she was still married to you and to buck it up? She did “it” again, Al, which is an absolute sign that Margaret never “reconciled” or did any “rebuilding” of either her or your marriage. It is possible, because of Margaret’s perpetual victimhood, that she was never able to comprehend her own or acknowledge her own accountability for her own contribution to what she had just perpetuated with ‘the pastor.’ I know this because Margaret always blamed everyone else for being sent back to Pittsburgh to be with you—she blamed Pastor Stevens, she blamed other members of GGWO and she blamed you. Margaret always maintained that she and ‘the pastor’ were separated by others, and that they were still in love, etc (her fantasies are pretty incredible, Al).



I can assure you, Al, that ‘the pastor,’ never really loved your wife—what he felt for her was something else—it was something that, most likely, is very difficult for him to describe because it is something that my own husband has a difficult time describing. You can ask my husband because he went through exactly the same thing ‘the pastor’ went through, and if he truly loved your wife, Al, they would be together today because I gave him six months—without any interference—to go after her. I even encouraged him to go after her. I told him if he really loved your wife that he needed to pursue her, I told him that she would not mind in the least leaving you again (and you know she wouldn’t have minded in the least, and you also are pretty much aware that she was probably waiting for him to come running after her like a knight in shining armor) and I told him that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him if he felt he needed (Margaret’s word) your wife in any way, shape or form. I have better things to do with my life than waste it on a loser who needs or feels stronger for someone else than he feels for me. I am not now, nor have I ever been a desperate woman. The only time I have ever told my husband I needed him was when I was completely incapacitated—which occurred when your wife was sucking all the emotion out of my husband which rendered him completely husband-challenged—and the only thing he did was lodge his head up your wife’s ass. And that failure is something that he is going to have to live with for the rest of his life.

From our conversation it was apparent that Pastor Steven's made God's salvation to appear conditioned upon her compliance with his intentions. From the days I had met Margaret years before, I had known her to be a confident person assured of relationship with God. Six weeks later Margaret began Psychiatric counseling for her marked depression at the University of Pittsburgh's Center for Anxiety & Depressive disorder.



Your wife should never have stopped her psychiatric counseling because it does not seem, since she repeated her adulteress behavior two more times (once again with a married man, and then with a man in a long-term, committed relationship) that the psychiatric counseling didn’t do any good at all. Margaret knows scripture Al, and she was very much aware of what her salvation was, is and always has been dependent upon. Your wife has committed adultery with four different men, Al, and this just simply means that there is something else going on inside her, that she is not in the least bit concerned with her own salvation, and the only “saving” she has ever felt she needed was to be “saved” from her marriage (which, in my opinion is selfish and stupid) by anyone she get her hands on. Her problems were—and have continued to be—with her own choices, with her own fantasies, with her own problems, with her own character and with who she is. GGWO, Pastor Stevens nor ‘the pastor’ had anything to do with Margaret’s problems, and because Margaret repeated her behavior with two more men after those particular elements had been completely removed from her life is absolute proof that Margaret’s problems are of her own pathetic, miserable, selfish, immature and unrealistic making. And you know this, Al.


In my curiosity, I began to research for other cases of abuse associated with GGWO. Most poignant was the phone conversation I had with Mrs. Ruth Fisher of Waltham, Massachusetts. I identified myself, stated the reason for my call, and briefly related part of my own experience. She then willingly related her own account of grief. Her son Bobby was an active member of "The Bible Speaks" from 1984 to his death in 1987. Mrs. Fisher told me that her son put his heart and soul into serving "The Bible Speaks" while they encouraged him to exclude his natural family and friends from his sphere of influence. Mrs. Fisher's family witnessed a drastic personality change in Bobby during those few years, from a loving, popular, giving person into a scared, nervous withdrawn shell of his former self. He committed suicide on Feb. 17th, 1987, leaving a pregnant wife Joanne who later remarried within "the ministry" and a son Kyle. Mrs. Fisher loves her former daughter in law, and cherishes her grandchildren. Yet Mrs. Fisher to this day considers Carl Steven's "an evil man", largely responsible for the influence which pushed her son over the edge. ( see related news article)



These separate “cases of abuse associated with GGWO,” have nothing to do with your wife’s situation because it was your wife who was the abuser in the situation you describe in “The Al Lang Story.” It was your wife who pursued, stalked, lied to , manipulated, used and abused ‘the pastor’ even while his wife was sick with a possible terminal illness because that is the kind of woman your wife, Margaret Rose Hadley Lang, has proven herself to be.




THE AL LANG STORY:
I also spoke by phone with Jack Leonard of Boston, Massachusetts. Jack was the former president of "Stevens School of the Bible". The school closed its doors in 1987, and was renamed Maryland Bible College & Seminary during a publicized scandal involving Pastor Stevens. Jack and his wife along with twenty plus other administrators left their association with the church in 1987. Wanting to believe the best, Jack indicated that he hoped that the years since then would prove that Pastor Stevens had stopped "his usual shenanigans and dodging accountability by covering things up". He said that Pastor Stevens learned long ago to appoint only family and close friends in administrative positions. Jack related some of his own experience. He told of Pastor Stevens trafficking in church gossip in order to always have the goods on "anyone who may go against the ministry". Jack described this method of discrediting others by Pastor Stevens who would invoke but misuse the biblical text of Romans 16:17 which read " mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine you have learned and avoid them". Jack mentioned that Pastor Stevens often employed this phrase to "mark and avoid certain people" when advising his staff of those on Pastor Steven's enemy list. Jack grew disappointed with the practice of having an enemies list, the use of church gossip for retaliation, and "marking and avoiding" people he was not sure were wrong, but were viewed as a threat by Pastor Stevens.



I believe, with all my heart and soul, Al, that your wife should be at the very top of the list to “mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine you have learned and avoid them.” I wish, with—once more—all my heart and soul—that I had done that with your wife after the first day I met her. And I am absolutely positive that ‘the pastor,’ the Tae Kwon Do instructor, my husband and Avery the carny man all feel the same way that I feel. What about you, Al? Have you “marked” your wife since she is the one who has caused so much pain and chaos in your life and the life of your children? I don’t really believe that Pastor Stevens was totally off the mark here.

[not dazed or confused]

THE AL LANG STORY:
He said that he had to take sleeping pills to help him sleep because of the time-zone change when I mentioned that he sounded tired and his voice was a little slurred. What took me by surprise were his next questions. He asked if we have had sexual relations recently. Then what sounded like a strange attempt to sound clinical Pastor Stevens asked me "Is she having orgasms when you have sex?". I was speechless for several moments and said with a hint of surprise "Pastor, I'm not really comfortable talking about this". He changed the subject, saying he wanted to meet with me when he came back to the states in a few days. This brief long distance phone call had me wondering about his state of mind as he once again called me the next day long distance to say "forget what we talked about last night" as he "didn't know what (he) was saying".



It was actually rather kind of Pastor Stevens to call you, Al. I believe, as far as the “sexual relations” issue and the “Is she having orgasms when you have sex?” question, that Pastor Stevens was simply attempting to offer you some fatherly advice. I know of what Pastor Stevens was referring and your wife does as well. You need to discuss this issue with her. When you discuss this issue with your wife, please remember that she is extremely good at deception and dishonesty. When Pastor Stevens called the next day to apologize it was most likely because he did not want to embarrass you. And that’s all I’m going to say on that subject.


************************************************** ***********************************
THE AL LANG STORY:
Sometime in late May 1999 after Margaret and I were beginning to put our lives back together I received a phone call from Pastor John Hadley, Margaret's brother in Baltimore. At first I took the phone call for what appeared to be a sincere interest on her brothers part to see how we were doing. By Johns probative questions, I began to suspect that there may be another motive for his phone call. I asked John if anyone put him up to calling us and asking personal questions as he was.



What was John’s other “motive” for this call, Al? John knows. Your wife knows. I have met John and I do not feel that he has any reason to lie to you, but I also feel that he was trying to protect your feelings. You can ask your wife why John called, but I highly suspect that she will lie about it (again). Why don’t you call John today and ask him what why he called? Tell him to quit trying to protect your feelings, and tell him that you can handle the truth. Tell him you deserve to know the truth.




THE AL LANG STORY:
John denied it. Twenty minutes later into the conversation I probed John further about his motive for calling with such questions. John finally admitted sheepishly that "Pastor (Stevens) did want me to call to see how you both were doing". The nature of the conversation suggested strongly to me that Pastor Stevens was using John to see if we had talked to anyone about what happened and to discourage this in any manner, including counseling. Before I hung up, I told John I didn't appreciate his lack of honesty, and fronting for Pastor Stevens in a dubious manner.



Once again, Al, you need to ask John what the real purpose for this call was. Also, I cannot believe that you would, even for a second, believe that Margaret’s brother John would be “fronting” “Pastor Stevens in a dubious manner” for any reason. I also cannot believe that Margaret—who idolizes her brother John—would allow this insulation to stand. This is just another reason why Margaret should be completely ashamed of herself.


************************************************** ***********************************
THE AL LANG STORY:
A different scheme consistent with the usual style of behavior took place before and during my family's move to Baltimore as follows. ‘The pastor’ suggested to Margaret that he wanted to replace his current secretary Jennifer Lynch with Margaret. This way she would have a job "safe within the ministry". ‘The pastor’ was unhappy that his dad had a say in picking his current secretary and appeared to resent his lack of choice. ‘The pastor’ led Margaret along implying he was going to act on this. Part of the rationale was that Jennifer was pregnant at the time and wasn't up to the demands, and that her personality was a little too subdued for someone to represent what he wanted to project. As I read a little of this on e-mail, I heard it also discussed in my presence during "counseling sessions" with ‘the pastor.’



I hope you do not believe, Al, for even one minute, that your wife was not complicit in this so-called “scheme.” It has been my experience, Al, that it was most likely your wife who made the suggestion to begin with just like she suggested to my husband that she “help” him with lawn mowing and other tasks. That is what your wife does when she feels she needs someone—she finds ways she can be around them as much as possible without any thought for her prey, her prey’s wives or her prey’s family.


During these months while I lived in Baltimore attempting to win my family back another scheme was at play. Pastor Stevens and ‘the pastor’ knowing I had sold our house in Pittsburgh often asked me how the house hunting was coming along. ‘The pastor’ urged me on two occasions acting as a counselor "just buy her a house first then say lets talk about our relationship". I told ‘the pastor’ that I believed he had things in the wrong order. First, I didn't have a full time job yet to support this, and I quoted the scripture that it was better to "establish your business before building your house" from Proverbs 24:27. More important I believed our relationship was something we needed as a married couple to reconcile before making a major decision like buying a house. ‘The pastor’ dismissed this with "there is a balance. You can't be too legalistic in interpreting the bible when you have the chance to do something like this". ‘The pastor’ even arranged to have real estate agent and church member Jim Turner call me to help us start looking. With the manner in which ‘the pastor’ showed interest in my buying a house for my wife along with her mood and personality swings I considered his motive suspect. He suggested I use our whole savings and equity to buy a house free and clear without a mortgage.



‘The pastor’ most likely wanted you to buy your wife a house as quickly as possible because that is most likely what she had been complaining about. Weren’t you living with her brother and his wife? That is embarrassing for any woman, Al. A woman’s house represents her, and the fact that you had not provided for her the way she felt she needed to be provided for (remember her mentioning to you that ‘the pastor’ was paying the tuition for your daughters?) would only cause her to complain incessantly to ‘the pastor’ and anyone else she get to listen.


************************************************** ***********************************
THE AL LANG STORY:
My experience with GGWO began 16 years earlier, like hundreds of others seeking Christian spiritual direction for our lives.


THE AL LANG STORY:
It has concluded in a very strange manner. I set out enthusiastically wanting to align myself with God's work of reaching others with the message of my savior Jesus Christ. Part of my reluctance to come to terms with my own experience has been my desire of wanting to believe the best of other Christians and give others the benefit of the doubt in accordance with the biblical teachings from Philippians 4:8. Only later did I did I remember that the scripture says to "... believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God" 1 John 4:1. 1 recalled that Christ received much opposition for challenging the accepted spiritual authorities of his day.



THE AL LANG STORY:
Christ saw through much of what they taught though some of it was good, to point out their error, and the evil effect it had on others. The words from the psalmist came back to me again "not a word from their mouth can be trusted, their heart is filled with destruction, their throat is an open grave, with their tongue they speak deceit" Psalm 5:9. If the end justified the means then Christ would have never gone to the cross. He could have taken advantage of people to establish his kingdom.



I believe this paragraph best represents your own wife, Al, because “not a word from” her “mouth can be trusted,” her “heart is filled with destruction,” her “throat is an open grave, with” her “tongue” she speaks “deceit.” That is exactly who and what she was and how she conducted herself when she was in my life, and that is exactly how she has conducted herself over and over again for the past several decades. The other people you speak of in this story are possibly guilty of behaving this badly on one occasion, but your wife has been consistently guilty of a “heart filled with destruction” and her "tongue" speaks nothing but “deceit.” I doubt if your wife would even know how to live a life as a loving, caring and nurturing person because I never witnessed (as you have alledged) Margaret behaving anything like an "emotionally stable" person. Also, I know it would be close to impossible for her to live a life with a commitment to honesty, faithfulness and loyalty because “not a word from” her “mouth can be trusted.”

[not dazed or confused]

The “Al Lang Story” is finished.
************************************************** ******************




I made a graph of the destruction Margaret Rose Hadley Lang caused in my life with her tenacious, twisted and perverted “he’s just like a brother to me” seduction of my husband, with her perpetual neediness and clinginess, with her manipulation, and with her deceit and dishonesty. I also included how Margaret ruthlessly used me to care for and nurture both her and her children while she methodically and systematically dismantled and destroyed everything that my husband and I had built together for the two decades we were together before she selfishly and for her own gain meddled and interfered with our lives.

The graph that I created consists of five years of annual income, a list all of our bills and when they were due and paid, our credit score for the years previous to Margaret’s insertion into our lives and the rapid decline of that score in relation to her continued, tawdry seduction of my husband, the status of my husband’s and my business prior to Margaret’s involvement in our lives and then the decline of our business during Margaret’s on-going, ruthless use of both me and my husband during the year and a half her disease-ridden morality was wearing us down (including billing and being paid by clients). The graph also includes medical records to indicate when I was put on anti-depressants, and when I was prescribed an even larger dose (which was about eight months after we allowed Margaret into our lives).

Along with the graph I included statements from my doctor, from the counselor that my husband and I were seeing when Margaret was in our life, and from the counselor we have been seeing since I kicked Margaret out of my life. The statements from my doctor and the two counselors include information that both my husband and I were clinically depressed prior to Margaret’s needy and tear-filled insertion into our lives (our depression was caused by what we had been going through with my daughter’s drug abuse and our fear for the lives of both her and our granddaughter). These statements provide evidence that our depressed states became much worse—to the point that we were nearly incapacitated—once Margaret was firmly ensconced in our lives and while she was sucking everything out of us under the pretext that she needed help and while she was busily, horribly and without any conscience whatsoever forcing her nasty, morally ambiguous hand down my husband’s pants.

I also included statements from eight of our closest friends (and one from our business partner and his wife) who knew both me and my husband before Margaret came into our lives, who were the most familiar with our relationship, and who witnessed (but didn’t know what was going on or what to do about it) the slow tearing down of my husbands and my life together and the ripping apart of our marriage. Both the graph and the statements tell a story of how one woman—one evil, manipulative, selfish and needy woman without any conscience whatsoever—was able to destroy our marriage, our credit and our livelihood simply because we were both kind and good enough (and, unfortunately for us, misguided enough) to help Margaret through her “bad time.”

I took my graph and the statements from my friends and business partner to an attorney to see if it would be possible to sue Margaret Rose Hadley Lang for “Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress” especially since I still suffer from both shock and “Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome” even one year later (almost to the day) that I found out the truth about Margaret and my husband. According to my attorney, Margaret Lang easily fits into the category of a defendant’s conduct in this particular kind of lawsuit. Her conduct was “gross and wanton, malicious, willful and indifferent,” and it was, absolutely and without any doubt in anyone’s minds, directed towards me. Margaret Lang’s reckless “extreme and outrageous conduct” caused “severe mental anguish and emotional distress” during her time in my life, during the time that lead up to the day I kicked her out of my life, and, especially, on the very day that I kicked her out of my life and that “severe mental anguish and emotional distress” persists even today.

[cmhadley]

After reading all you have posted...I come away confused. Why do you persist in saying hurtful things about Margaret's parents (her mother is/was emotionally unavailable or her father is/was an alcoholic). Whatever makes you think those statments are true....because she said so? Do you know Jack and Anna? You continually state how Margaret is dishonest, manipulative, can't be trusted, and is less than honest. Maybe...just maybe those are incorrect and hurtfull statements you are making about them. And if in fact they are untrue they are out there on the internet for the world to read...and can't be taken back!

:confused:

[silentprayers123]

i have been quietly following these posts for some time now and it seems strange to me that someone claiming to be so religious would spend this obvious amount of energy defaming an entire family. to quote the bible, "if you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly father will forgive you. but if you refuse to forgive others, your father will not forgive your sins. matthew 6:14" perhaps you should spend less time condemning this family and spend more time searching your own soul for christ-like forgiveness. the only concession to this suggestion would be if you consider yourself without sin, in which case there is no need to repent. having struggled with my own marriage i find that forgiveness is the only means by which i can discover any form of spiritual peace. i pray that god is able to guide you through these hard times and that you find a way to sustain peace inside yourself.

[not dazed or confused]

CM:

You are correct about not knowing if Margaret was lying about her parents or not. That is the problem with liars, CM. Even though they know (or should know) when they are lying and what they are lying about, those of us who are being lied to have no idea (unless, of course, the 'lied to' are trained professionals who have had training in spotting lies--which I am not).

I have met Anna a couple times, but I have never met Mr. Hadley. Margaret told me that her father was a verbally and physically angry alcoholic. She also told me that her mother was "emotionally unavailable" to her while she was growing up. She also told me that Mr. Hadley stopped drinking and embraced his Catholic faith with a strength and a fervor that is miraculous. If Mrs. Hadley was "emotionally unavailable" to Margaret when she was growing up, it could have, most likely, been a reaction to her husband's alcohol problems (which, Margaret alleged, were a result of some self-medicating due to his concerns about being able to provide for his family--a completely logical concern) combined with having so many children to clean up, clean up after, feed etc. That would be exhausting for anyone even under the best of circumstances.

I wrote about Margaret's parents in an attempt to try to understand what makes her 'tick.' I am a researcher at heart. We are all 'victims' (good and/or bad) of the circumstances of our raising. My parents were not perfect, and I was definitely not a perfect parent. As a matter of fact, CM, Margaret and I often talked about how similar our upbringings were because we were both raised in large families--it was one of the things we had in common.

This is what I know of Mr. and Mrs. Hadley today: They are both very good, devout and faithful Catholic Christians who love their children and grandchildren with ferocity, and who are loved back by their children and grandchildren in equal measure.

CM, if you are a Hadley related to Mr. and Mrs. Hadley I apologize for any harm I may have caused when referencing these two good people. That was not my intent.

[not dazed or confused]

Silent:

I have been trying to find forgiveness, Silent, and I certainly have sinned myself. What makes "forgiveness" so difficult to attain is that it is, unfortunately, intangible and therefore it cannot be touched, seen or embraced. "Forgiveness" is a process, and I have been desperately trying to work through that process, but that process has been made more difficult because of my "Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome." I have nightmares nearly every single night, I have difficulty sleeping and eating and working. Not only have I had to work through the situation of having my daughter attempt to kill herself with drugs, I now am forced to work through this burden.

Yes, Jesus does talk a great deal about forgiveness. I have read His words over and over hoping that it will "click." What I have learned through my reading is that although Jesus does speak a great deal about forgiveness, He does not tell us it's going to be easy.

I don't believe I ever claimed to be religious. I am a Christian. I do not pretend that what I have written is, in any way, Christ-like. I just felt the need to write a counter-point to "The Al Lang Story" now that I know what is true and what is not true about that situation. Ironically, I feel it was my goodness that got me into the situation with Margaret, so I am, at this point in my life, over being good. It's not really what I thought it would be, and I definitely have not gotten the results I thought I would get.

I have, emphatically, not been "defaming" anyone. "Defamation" is to "charge falsely or with malicious intent," and/or to "attack the good name and reputation of someone." I have only told the truth, Silent, in an attempt to straighten out the "defaming" story that Al Lang, himself, wrote. If I have made any false statements, or if I have mischaracterized anyone--including Margaret Lang--in my story, I have stated, over and over, that I would be more than happy to post both a retraction and an apology if someone were to point out anything in my story that is false or misleading. It would be impossble for me to "defame" someone who has, very successfully, "defamed" herself.

thank you for your concern, Silent.

[not dazed or confused]

A continuation of post #64 re: the graph:

The most important aspect of the graph I made was the insertion of the literally hundreds of phone calls Margaret Lang made to my husband while he was supposed to be working, and the dozens (evidently, she liked talking to my husband more than me) of phone calls she made to me during the day. The graph clearly indicates how nearly every aspect of my husbands and my life started it's steep decline into, among other things, credit unworthiness (because of the way my husband and I had been providing for our retirement--rental properties--that credit score was extremely important for us) once Margaret began her telephone stalking of my husband. Very clear. And very, clearly disturbing.

[not dazed or confused]

A continuation of the "Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress" lawsuit:

"Liability for intentional infliction of emotional distress extends to situations in which there is no certainty, but merely a high degree of probability, that the mental distress will follow, and the defendant goes ahead in conscious disregard of it."

In fact, Margaret was very much aware that I would suffer "mental distress" as a result of her actions, and that is why she requested that my husband remove both of their motorcycles from my garage, and that is why she requested that my husband remove all of the guns from my home. Those actions clearly indicate that Margaret not only expected me to suffer from "mental distress," it clearly indicates that Margaret anticipated my mental distress." And yet she continued down her path.

"The rule allowing recovery of damages for mental anguish and suffering in cases involving willful, wanton, and malicious acts is especially applicable in cases affecting the liberty, character, reputation, personal security, or domestic relations of the injured party"

Nearly every aspect of my life was affected by Margarets harmful actions. My character and my reputation were both attacked via Margaret's insinuation that I would shoot either her or my husband or destroy either of their motorcycles when I "found out" what she had been doing behind my back. My personal security is gone. I have no "security" left. I was left absolutely unprotected personally and financially because of Margaret's meddling and iterferece in my life. "Domestic relations?" That goes without saying...

[not dazed or confused]

Information regarding confusion re: libel, defamation etc

"Libel and slander are two forms of defamation (or defamation of character), which is the tort or delict of making a false statement of fact that injures someones's reputation."

I have written no false statements that I am aware of. I have written about what I have experienced, and I have provided evidence to support the claims I have made. There is only one person who has the ability to point out that any of my statements are false, and that is Margaret Lang. Her husband cannot do it, her siblings cannot do this, her children cannot do this and her parents cannot do this.

Only Margaret knows what she was doing behind my back, only Margaret knows what she was saying behind my back, only Margaret knows what was in her heart, in her brain and in her thoughts; only Margaret knows what her fantasies were, what her objectives were and what her ultimate goal was. Only Margaret knows what is inside Margaret. Margaret is absolutely more than welcome to come on this forum and point out any part or parts of my story that she feels are "false statements." If Margaret chooses to do that, she will need to bear in mind that I have many, many witnesses--including my husband (who, by the way, does not have a history of adultery, sneakiness, deception or dishonesty the way that Margaret does).

If I see a known prostitute standing on a street corner, and I tell people "she's a prostitute," I am not defaming that person because that is who she is and what she has chosen to do for a living. If I were to spread a rumor about a neighbor being a wife-beater (who doesn't beat his wife) and that rumor damages his reputation, I would be guilty of "defamation of character." The prostitute has defamed herself because of her own behavior. Likewise, Margaret Lang has defamed herself because of her own behavior. Absolutely no one has forced Margaret to behave the way she has--her choices have always been hers. Furthermore, it is not my responsibility to "protect" Margaret from her own behavior.

Because of the time Margaret spent in my life (with many hours spent without her children, without her siblings and without her husband), both my husband and I know her in a way they do not. My story has been written as a direct result of the time both of us spent with Margaret.

I received a response--a message sent to me via facebook--relating to this story. That response was from an angry relative, and it was an ad hominem attack--which is what I had expected. It's easier to attack the messenger than to attack the message. Just because this person did not agree with my analysis of Margaret, this person felt compelled to attack me personally. That is useless, and it does not change the facts in this story nor does it even make a dent in reality. If this person wanted to discuss even one aspect of this story, I would have been more than happy to do so--without attacking them personally.

This person accused me of "blathering on" about my goodness. Would it have made this person feel better if I had been a bitch to Margaret and her children? Would it have made this person feel better if I had talked about Margaret behind her back and spread horrendous rumors about her? Treated her children poorly? Pinched her children when she wasn't looking? My goodness is an important part of the story because it shows who Margaret Lang really is.

[not dazed or confused]

A little more concerning the message I received on facebook because the writer is someone I care about regardless of the current, horrible circumstances:

The writer was/is angry, and that is understandable. The writer accused me of being “spiteful.” The writer was correct. “Spite” is borne from anger, and I have every dam right to be angry because of what has happened in my life. What the writer may not have noticed was that his/her own message to me was filled with “spite,” and that his/her “spite” was borne from the anger that he/she feels towards me because I have written this story, and that he/she feels he/she has every dam right to be angry with me.

Also, I mentioned in this story that “Margaret and her kids were always hovering around.” I really didn’t mean that. I loved Margaret and her kids, and I never felt (before I learned the truth) that they were “hovering.” I enjoyed having her kids around because I enjoy kids. Just about the only thing I regret concerning my “reaction” to the truth was that I yelled at Margaret in front of her son (whom I was totally in love with and doted on), and that I said to him “Well, Isaac, your mother’s doing it again.” That was not something he needed to hear (not that he would have understood what I was talking about to begin with) because he was, at the time, only seven years old. Although I feel absolutely no remorse for having whacked Margaret up alongside the head, I pray that Isaac did not see that (I have absolutely no idea if he did or did not because I was in a state of shock).

The writer also accused me of being “deluded.” I am not deluded. I was deluded. Past tense. I was deluded into believing that Margaret loved me (as she said she did), and that she would never do to me or my husband what she did especially since she knew how low we both were (crisis mode) when she entered our lives. I think that was a fair expectation. If anyone believes that I do not hold my husband responsible for his part in this debacle, you can be absolutely assured that I have. He told me that he wishes he had never met Margaret, and I told him “Instead of wishing you had never met Margaret, why don’t you just wish you had been a better man.” He realizes that Margaret did not need a “lover” or a “special man friend.” He realizes that Margaret just needed friends, and that it was just as much his responsibility (regardless of how much Margaret flirted with him, and regardless of how much Margaret seduced him with her woe-is-me-ness and her please-just-save-me-ness and all of the other assorted tactics she used on him) to keep their relationship benign. He claims she “exhausted” him, and I believe that because she also exhausted me. My husband also realizes, because of our circumstances when Margaret entered our lives, that we were both “ripe for the picking,” and he realizes that Margaret was completely and totally aware of this and that it was also her responsibility--as the friend she claimed to be--to protect both of us from harm. Because that is what real and emotionally healthy friends do.

[not dazed or confused]

I was going to write more about my lawsuit against Margaret Lang, but I decided to post my note to her first:

My personal note to Margaret Rose Hadley Lang:

You did it! Congratulations! You got my clinically depressed, confused, befuddled, and completely diminished husband to leave me! Good job! Go ahead and pat yourself on the back, Margaret—you deserve it!

There is something many of us would like to know however: do you get more points or fewer points by preying on married men whose wives are either seriously ill and/or incapacitated? We were wondering because if you were to prey on a married man whose wife was completely healthy, it would definitely be more of a challenge for you. Of course, your chances of succeeding and getting that married man to “do you” would shrink exponentially. But then, I guess, preying on married men with wives who are either seriously ill and/or incapacitated adds a certain element of evil, doesn’t it? Kinda like stealing candy from a baby. I guess you just need to go where your past successes have led you. Do you think this is a coincidence, Margaret? The fact that the married men you have preyed on have seriously ill and/or incapacitated wives? Nope. It’s not. And if you were really the “emotionally stable” and the “loving, caring and nurturing” woman that your husband has claimed, none of this would have happened. In fact, saying “emotionally stable, loving, caring and nurturing Margaret Lang” is an oxymoron.

You may have wondered (or not) why I have chosen to use some rather crude language and visuals in this story. I seriously weighed the pros and cons of using phrases like “…with her legs spread wide open,” “bent over at the waist,” “bush,” etc. I decided, Margaret, that the crudeness and the ugliness you brought into my life couldn’t and shouldn’t be sugar coated. I decided to use crudeness and ugliness to match the crudeness and ugliness you vomited into my life. Regardless, Margaret, the crudeness and ugliness that you brought into my life far outweighs—at least a thousand to one—any crude language or visuals that I have employed in this story. One of my own character flaws is sarcasm—especially when I am angry—so this story runs rather rampant with sarcasm. I include several ‘illustrations’ in my story and in my note to you because you have proven—through your behavior and your actions while you were in my life—that you just aren’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. Also, since you went to ‘bible’ college, since you consider yourself a ‘Christian (which is between you and God), and since you have been around Christians most of your life, I have come to the conclusion that fluffy Christian talk just doesn’t work with you, so I have been straight-forward and matter-of-fact without the fluff. Straight talk.

If the ending of the “Fun with Margaret Lang” story had turned out differently, then this would not have been written. Although the beginning and the middle of a story is important, it is the end of the story that is the most important (ask any author or screenwriter). The fact is, Margaret, that once you told my husband “we need to be together because we get along so well” within weeks of knowing him, and once you started down that path (and you know of which path I am referring) with your ridiculous, insane and sophomoric fantasies of an ideal and romantic love (gag me), everything you did in my life was malignant. Your being in my life was nothing more than a big lie. Every word that came out of your mouth, every action, every act and every thought you had was smothered in malignant ugliness and dishonesty. You can compare it with a murderer/rapist who schmoozes and dupes his victim with kind words and deeds, and then when he has her where he wants her, he rapes and murders her. His kind words and deeds were absolutely meaningless, and they were meant only to manipulate his victim into complacency. Do you understand this, Margaret? Let me tell you a story to further illustrate what I mean (and this is a true story):
Young woman arrives in small, college town for her first fall semester. Young woman meets young man at a local park. They talk. He is friendly and open, and she is new in town and needs a friend. He offers to drive her around to see the sights. She goes. First they stop at a restaurant that is popular with the college crowd. The waiter knows the young man’s name, and the two appear to be friends. Young man brings young woman to his boss’s house to pick up his check, and introduces young woman to boss and his family. They sit with boss and his family for awhile, chat and have refreshments (the boss is my sister’s neighbor). They leave. Young man stops at a local grocery to get gas and cash his check—he is known here too and hellos and how-have- you- beens are exchanged. Young woman, subconsciously, is adding all of this information up in her head: young man is known around town, he is friendly and generous, he has a job, he has friends that he has introduced me too, he is safe. Young man has successfully lulled young woman into trust and complacency. Young man and young woman drive to mountain (near where I lived when my daughter was little). Young man proceeds to rape, torture and then murder young woman—with landscaping tools. Young man leaves young woman and walks across the border into Canada (I believe this story was portrayed on “America’s Most Wanted” shortly after it happened).
So what do you think, Margaret? Do you believe, for even one minute, that anyone would say “well, the young man was nice and friendly to the young woman and he did buy her lunch even though he did eventually rape, torture and murder her with landscaping tools.” What I found most chilling about this story when I heard about it, Margaret, is how that man gained the young woman’s trust by introducing her around town, bringing her to his boss’s house and by being generous and nice. The man led the young woman to believe he was normal—a normal young man with a normal job, a normal pick-up truck, normal friendships, normal, normal, normal. But what was inside the young man—the thing that he kept hidden—was what mattered most, and what was inside him was ugly. And that is what you led me to believe about you, Margaret. The young man intended to kill the young woman from the very beginning, just as you meant to do what you did to me, my life and my family from the beginning. You gained my trust and the trust of my entire family. You introduced me to your family, and they seemed normal, and they encouraged our continuing friendship (I bet they wish they hadn’t, and I bet they won’t do it again). You were friendly. You told me everything I needed to hear. But, in the end, it wasn’t what you said to me, or how you behaved around me that mattered—it was what was inside you—the things you kept hidden from all of us—that mattered the most because what was inside you Margaret was ugly. You have very successfully, after gaining my trust and lulling me into complacency (which wasn’t all that difficult to do considering my incapacitated state and my exhaustion—like stealing candy from a baby), butchered my marriage and my life. Your family must be very proud of you.

Another illustration re: the importance and significance of the ending of a story: a woman finds a lump in her breast (this is the beginning of the story). The woman goes to her doctor, and the doctor orders a mammogram and then a biopsy. The woman enters the hospital and undergoes surgery. The tumor removed from her breast is taken to a lab (this is the middle of the story). The lab personnel determine if the tumor is benign or malignant. If the tumor is benign then it was always benign. If the tumor is malignant it is because it was always malignant—it didn’t just become malignant at the end of the story—it was always malignant (this is the end of that story—whether or not the tumor was benign or malignant). And at the end of our story, Margaret—the story of you in my life when I was ill and incapacitated—is that you were the malignant tumor in my life, and you were malignant from the very beginning. Do you remember standing in my house and asking me (tearfully and mournfully, of course) “why did you keep my around?” I “kept your around,” Margaret, because I didn’t know you were malignant until the end. Do you understand this, Margaret? Do you get this?

And the ending of the story was magnificent, wasn’t it Margaret? First you start seducing my husband, you follow him around like a bitch in heat when he throws up road-blocks to avoid you, you stalk him with your hundreds of phone calls, you seduce him with your tear-filled eyes, your quivering chin, your woe-is-me-ness and you your you-are-the-only-person-alive who-can-save-ne-ness, your half covered, surgery-enhanced breasts, your bush poking out of the top of your tight, low-rise jeans, etc., you plead with him to leave me, you tell him you can’t live without him, and then, finally, he decides to throw everything away to be with you. And then you dump him and move back in with your husband. I have very tenaciously protected my husband’s heart for over 25 years, and he actually had to step outside of his marriage to get dumped and beaten-up like that. That was great, Margaret! I couldn’t have written the ending any better than that. Take a bow, Margaret.

[not dazed or confused]

Note to Margaret, continued:

Do you remember who my husband was when you first met him? Joyful. Happy. Fun. Full of spirit and confidence. Guess what, Margaret? All of that is gone, and it all started disappearing long before I kicked you out of my life. Do you remember how my husband and I interacted with each other all the time (and do not pretend you didn’t witness this, Margaret, because I know that you did because you spoke of the way my husband and I were together on several occasions)? Lovingly. Playfully. Respectfully. All of that is gone now, and all of that started disappearing soon after you decided that my husband needed to be your best friend, and after you started stalking him and seducing him and calling him constantly so that he would be forced—via your incessant, tearful and needy demands—to spend all of his emotional ‘cash’ on you when I needed that emotional ‘cash’ a hell of a lot more than you did.

The way my husband and I were together started disappearing within months of you being in our lives, but I didn’t understand why. Now I know. Have you ever considered why he was the man he was when you met him? Did you ever consider that my husband was joyful, happy and full of spirit because he and I had a good and happy marriage together? Why would a person behave that way if he/she was unhappy? Do you believe he would have been that man if he had actually been as miserable and unhappy as you? That’s what he has told our counselor. He told her that he woke up every day happy and joyful. But all of that is gone now. His joy with life was disappearing when you were “working him” with your tear-filled eyes, your quivering chin, your neediness, your stalking, etc. My husband’s confidence is gone. His spirit is gone. All of who my husband was before you entered our lives is gon. You butchered that too, Margaret. You butchered who he was because you are who you are.

This is what I have ascertained after I kicked you out of my life: my husband is not that man I thought he was, and he is not the man that he thought he was. I used to tell my husband that he was a “good man.” I don’t tell him that anymore because he’s not. I used to tell my husband he was “my hero.” I don’t tell him that anymore because he is definitely not my hero. In fact, Margaret, it was easy for him to be a “hero” when things were going well for the both of us, but as soon as I was unable to run our life as smoothly as he had become accustomed, he turned out to not have a “hero” bone in his body. In fact, the one and only time I ever told him I needed him was when you were in our life, but he chose to lodge his head up your ass—he said he “thought” he “could handle” your seduction of him and your constant neediness of him. He was wrong. I used to “hold my husband up” by being loving and supportive and by praising him. I don’t do that anymore. It seems all of my praise of him went straight to his head until he felt like he was the God of husbands. He has discovered—to his pain—that he was not the God of husbands—not even close. As a matter of fact, my husband is now just a regular, dime-a-dozen guy walking the streets (and to his shame he knows this). He is a man I wouldn’t pay any attention to if I were to meet him today (especially knowing what he has done). There is no longer anything special about him. It’s gone. That’s what you do, Margaret.

My husband lived in his lonely little apartment until June 2009. I allowed him to move back in only after he had gone to counseling, and only after he figured out what the hell was wrong with him that would allow him to be manipulated so drastically by someone like you (I realize that all of us—me, my daughter, and my granddaughter—as well as assorted friends—were also manipulated by you and believed your lies, but my husband was the only one of us who was so completely strapped into the “Crazy Margaret Express” that he abandoned everything that was good about himself in order to save you from your emptiness and your neediness).

During the time my husband was living in his lonely little apartment, I allowed him time to pursue you if that is what he chose to do. I told him I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him if he had any feelings for you whatsoever. I told him that if he loved you the two of you needed to be together, and I told him that after what I has just gone through (as the victim of the pure and absolute selfishness of the both of you) that you two deserved to be together. I even encouraged him to go running and groveling after you; I told him that you would probably expect that since you already had him doing everything you asked him to do—when you said “jump,” my husband, in his new Margaretized depressed, diminished and befuddled state, meekly asked “how high?” I told my husband that you and he had just wasted a year and a half of my time with your combined stupidity, and that he needn’t bother wasting any more of my time. I also told him that if he did decide to be with you to not bother crawling back to me when you came home one day and announced that you had found another man who was “just like a brother” to you. I also told him that the problems were never with the cheated-on, the problems were always with the cheater (including him).
One of the conditions of his moving back home was that my husband is not allowed to complain or to criticize or to demand. He is no longer allowed to be negative. If he lies to me again, he’s out on the street again. I have little tolerance or patience for dishonesty and deception, and I have absolutely no respect for those who feel the need to live their lives smothered in either. I’ve had enough negativity, chaos, conflict and bull**** in my life. In the beginning, he complained that he felt he had to “walk on eggshells” around me. I told him he didn’t have to walk on eggshells—I told him all he had to do was “be a better person.” He knows where the door is if he decides that being a “better person” is too tough for him. He’s actually doing quite well.

Through counseling, my husband discovered that he was depressed prior to your entrance into our lives, and that depression got progressively worse the more you worked on him, Margaret (you know—the laughing, the teasing, the hundreds of phone calls, the boo hoo’s, the tear-filled eyes, the quivering chin, the “I need you’s,” the woefulness, the discovery of your love for motorcycles, the exposed breasts and the exposed bush, etc), and the more he was dishonest with me and the more he allowed himself to walk down your path that leads to the “spirits of the dead.” Because I was so depressed and on anti-depressants (and to this day, I truly don’t know which was causing me to be most incapacitated—the depression or the anti-depressants) neither I nor my husband recognized his depression. My husband, as it turns out, was depressed because he didn’t understand my depression (it’s not like I woke up one day and said to myself “you know, I think I’m just going to be depressed for awhile so I can get out of performing my duties”) or know what to do to “save” me, and that made him feel hopeless ad helpless. Therefore, Margaret, you preyed on not one, but two ill and incapacitated people, and if you had been interested in more than yourself and your needs you would have been able to recognize this.

Although my husband’s depression got progressively worse while you were in our lives, and although he has now been diagnosed with clinical depression, my depression is over. Go figure. Once I found out exactly what was going on and kicked both of your asses out of my life, I was freed. I might be ****ed off and angry, but I’m not depressed anymore. Since my husband is now clinically depressed I get to clean up the mess that you and he—in his diminished Margaretized capacity—did to my life. I get to clean up the current lack of credit (for the first time in my life, and because I dared to be both incapacitated and stupid enough to allow you into my home, I have no credit). I get to handle the IRS, the late taxes, the unpaid and late property taxes and assorted bills, the phone calls and the letters from businesses expecting their money, etc. What fun!

Everything that my husband and I had built over the past 25 years and everything that I tenaciously protected over the past 25 years has been butchered. Maybe you have noticed that I am driving Craigie’s beat-up old Explorer around? That is because my Subie is broken beyond repair, and I don’t have the credit to purchase another vehicle (and do not think that I have not noticed you driving around in your brand-new, shiny, red car—isn’t it nice that your husband protected your interests when you were out cheating on him?). Perhaps you have noticed that I am at the coffee shop behind your house quite often? That’s because I no longer have internet service at my house. My internet service was automatically billed to my major credit card. I don’t have internet service anymore because my major credit card was cancelled, and my major credit card was cancelled because the bank determined that my current, low credit score could no longer support the limit on the major credit card that I have had for over twenty years. Do you understand why I am so angry and ****ed, Margaret? The first time in my life I am incapacitated to the point the I am unable to do what I have always done (from the time I was sixteen-years old), and because of your stalking and seducing and neediness, and because you chose to target two depressed people to fill your emptiness everything turned to ****, and unlike my befuddled, depressed and diminished husband, I didn’t have a choice. Thanks a lot Margaret. It was such a joy to have you in my life.

[not dazed or confused]

Note to Margaret, continued:

Maybe I should just treat my husband and his current depression like he treated me and my depression? What do you think, Margaret? I’ve met a couple guys in the last few months that I get along well with, and maybe I should invite one to my home to meet my husband. Here is what I could do: I can bring Max (not his real name) home to meet my husband, and I can tell my husband that Max just needs a friend and someone to help him through a breakup with his wife (who, of course, doesn’t understand him). I will let Max know that my husband is clinically depressed and that I suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome. Once Max is in our lives, I will get my husband to do all kinds of things for Max—rent an apartment to him, help him get that apartment ready to move into, take care of his vehicle and watch his dogs (because although Max loves his dogs, he doesn’t really like to take care of them—they take up too much of his time. Also, I use “dogs” in this scenario because my husband—regardless of what he told you while his head was lodged up your ass—my husband never watch someone else’s kids because he doesn’t like kids—never has). I’ll get my husband to buy Max things because he doesn’t make much money, and he’s concerned with how he is going to get by with only one income. My husband will let Max borrow his motorcycle because they are such good friends.

Since Max is single and works all day, my husband—because he and Max are such good friends—will make sure Max has dinner waiting for him when he gets to our house. We will all sit around at my house and drink beer (that my husband buys) and watch movies every weekend. Max will become the new member of our family—after all, he claims I am just like a sister to him, and he has become both my husband’s and my very best friend (because my husband is depressed and hasn’t been much of a friend to me). Max and I will hang out a lot together—with and without my husband—and when my husband becomes concerned with my growing attachment to Max, I will tell him “If Max were a woman no one would pay any attention to our friendship, and besides, Max thinks of me like a sister.”

This is what I will do for Max: I will give him a job and pay him more than he’s worth without discussing it with my husband, and then I will make sure he gets paid even before the client hasn’t been billed (and if it overdraws my checking account it won’t be my fault because my husband is supposed to make sure there is always enough money in our account). Max will call me four to five times a day about his miserable and unhappy marriage, and he will subtly demand my attention while my own husband suffers daily with his depression (because Max has made it very clear that his problems are very important, and Max needs me and I will like feeling needed, I don’t want to hurt Max’s feelings, and my husband can take care of his own depression—there’s really nothing I can do to help him). Over time, because I talk to Max so often on the phone about all of his problems, his feelings and his dreams, I will become Max’s ally and his confidante.

Max and I will laugh and giggle and talk and play together while we completely exclude my clinically depressed husband and as he looks on. Max and I will find a common interest in art and architecture, and we will talk passionately about those things in front of my depressed husband. I’ll get my husband to agree to invite Max out to dinner and coffee with the both of us and our family several times a week (because Max is lonely and doesn’t have any other friends and he needs to be around people), and I’ll either invite, or I’ll get my husband to invite, Max to our house every single night, seven days a week because Max can’t stand to be alone (he doesn’t have many hobbies and he gets bored).

Eventually, I will start paying more attention to Max because Max is paying so much attention to me, and because my husband is depressed I’m not getting the attention from him that I need. Also, I won’t be making very healthy choices because I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It helps that Max is always on his very best behavior whenever he’s around—and I just know that he is exactly as he appears (regardless of his past, etc.). I will learn, over time, to appreciate Max much more than I appreciate my husband—who is, of course, depressed, and not very much fun to be around. Max will make me feel like there is no one else for him, and that I am the only person on the planet who can save him from his loneliness, his emptiness and his heartache. He just wants someone he can have fun with, and because we get along so well together, it’s just natural that we should be together.

I’ll start treating my husband like a piece of **** because I realize that Max and I are kindred spirits (because we get along so well and because we have something in common, but mostly because we are euphoric about how well we get along and how well we ‘click’ together even though my husband and I had always got along and ‘clicked’ during our entire marriage). Eventually, regardless of my husband’s and my happy past, regardless of how good our marriage had been (before you) and regardless of what a good husband he has been (before his depression and you, of course), I will start telling my husband that I respect Max more than I respect him because Max is more emotionally available to me than he has ever been, and because Max isn’t depressed. It won’t make any difference to me if Max has made many poor decisions in his past, or that there are specific things about his character that I find worrisome, because I just know I have a specialness about me, and with that specialness I will get Max to change (and besides, my husband, because of his depression has let himself ‘go,’ and Max is better looking and much better endowed than my husband, and, as you know, that is soooo much more important than my marriage covenant OR my husband).

And then when Max comes to me and tells me he loves me and needs me, and I will tell him that I love him and need him too. Max, because he still needs my husband to help him out, tells me he and I have to remain friends for my poor, clinically depressed husband’s sake. I won’t tell my husband that Max and I need to be together because Max has told me not to, and what Max tells me is so much more important than how my husband feels (besides, Max and my husband are friends, and my husband really likes the dogs, so I’m sure my husband won’t mind taking care of Max while Max and I pursue our relationship). Because I am now in love with Max, and because I do not tell my husband about that “love,” my husband cannot understand why I have disappeared from our relationship.

Max and I decide not to have sexual relations because that would be way too immoral. But, because our attraction to each other and our love for each other is so strong, we make out, we hold each other, we tell each other how much we love, need and want each other, we tell each other that we “can’t live without” each other, and we start making plans for our future together. While Max and I pursue our relationship, my husband—because of his incapacitation due to his depression—is completely clueless about what is going on. He just thinks I’m going through a ‘thing,’ and he tries to help me work it out, but all I do is snap at him for everything because I have come to realize that the 25 years I spent with him were a big mistake (and it’s way too bad that it took me so long to figure this out—thank goodness Max is there to point out certain negative aspects about my husband that, even after accepting those negative aspects about him for 25 years, I decide I can no longer live with them).

Since my husband’s depression will progressively get even worse the longer Max is in our lives (because I will no longer be available to my husband and I won’t be able to do the things for him that I’ve always done because I won’t have time since Max will become such an important part of my life and my clinically depressed husband has simply become a burden when compared with the immense happiness I just know I will have with Max). My husband will not understand what is going on with me or our marriage, and, because of his depression, he will be unable to meet my needs anymore. It won’t matter if I am no longer meeting his needs because, of course, Max is so much more important to me and all of my energy and emotion is focused on him (plus, Max isn’t depressed and is a lot more fun to be around). Since my husband is no longer fulfilling my needs, I bitch and I complain and I nag and I criticize him for not fulfilling those needs (regardless of my on-going relationship with Max, I will still need my husband to work and bring home the money—which is about the one and only thing that he has done throughout our marriage). The more my husband is no longer meeting my needs, the more I vent my frustration to Max, and then Max becomes both my ally and my confidante against my clinically depressed husband. Max will lovingly emphasize with me, and he will tell me that he can meet my needs and take care of me so much better than my husband. And, although Max and his wife are separated because he was often unemployed, I just know he will be perpetually employed for me. Because it’s obvious I’m better and totally more special than his wife.

Finally, after my husband complains about Max being around so often, Max tells me he can’t live without me and he is afraid of losing me. We decide we need to be together until death do we part. Since Max loves me and can’t live without me, and because he needs to talk to me four to five times a day, he goes out and gets us our own phones (so my husband doesn’t get suspicious). Because I know I have Max and that Max loves me and that Max can’t live without me and we will be together forever, I start treating my clinically depressed husband even worse—nothing he does is right—nothing. We start fighting all the time even though we have rarely fought at any other time in our marriage (before you of course). My husband doesn’t understand any of this, he is confused, but he just keeps smiling and hoping everything will work out for the best.

Finally, after Max and I have made my husband miserable for a year and a half (because that’s how long Max will need my husband, and that’s how long it will take for Max and I to get to know each other properly—everyone needs a decent amount of time for dating and getting to know each other—you should know that), my husband demands that we go to counseling. I will tell him counseling won’t do any good because what is wrong with our marriage can’t be fixed, even though I know exactly what is wrong with our marriage, I won’t tell him because I have my head lodged up Max’s butt, Max has told me not to my husband yet, and I need to protect Max above all else). Instead of telling my husband the truth, I will tell him I’ve changed and that he’s changed, and that’s it. I will tell him that I don’t care if it’s depression that has made him change. I will tell him that I love him but that I am no longer in love with him. My husband will finally get tired of all of this bullcrap (even though he won’t know exactly what that bullcrap is), and he will kick me out. I will leave because I know that Max and I will be gloriously happy together—happier than either of us has ever been in our lives.

Etc., etc., etc.,
Did you like this story? Although I’ve changed things around a bit to be more ‘person specific,’ the story is eerily familiar, isn’t it, Margaret? What do you think? Wouldn’t that be a lovely thing to do to another human being? Should I do it? The only problem is I will need to find a man with very few morals and absolutely no conscience. I just don’t know anyone like that. Wait a minute! Do you happen to have a brother who is just like you? It doesn’t matter if he’s married or not because maybe it runs in your family? I’m just joking, Margaret, because in the end I wouldn’t be able to treat anyone like that—not even my husband.

[not dazed or confused]

Note to Margaret, yet again, continued:

You met me and my husband when we were both “down.” Very down. Crisis mode. Survival mode. You met us when I was performing at a fraction of my usual capacity. However, regardless of my husband’s own depression, he was still doing the same things he has always done during our marriage—going to work, pursuing his hobbies, and doing whatever else he wanted to do—his level of depression simply got worse the longer you were in our lives (like mine got progressively worse the more my husband disappeared). Because you have absolutely no idea who either my husband or I were before you met us, or what each of us has contributed to our marriage, our relationship and our lives before we were in crisis mode, I am going to tell you what I did throughout my marriage. I write this because I have had to actually bring all of this to my husband’s attention because he was completely ignorant of my contributions, my sacrifices and my compromises, and because of that day we were driving in your car and you replied bitchily “he’s busy” to something I said (and I remember thinking “boy, she sure doesn’t know what she’s talking about ): I worked thirty to forty hours (most of the time forty hours) a week, and when I wasn’t working I was going to school full time. And while I was working and/or going to school full time, I took care of the house. I cleaned (and it was always clean), I did the dishes, I mopped the floors, I vacuumed the floors, I scrubbed and I dusted and then I scrubbed and dusted some more. I kept everything organized and neat. I knew where everything was in our house. I moved the furniture when it needed to be moved, I hung the pictures on the walls, I did the laundry—sorting, washing, folding and putting away, and I did all of the money management—budgeting, paying bills, getting paperwork ready for anything and everything, filing, doing the taxes every year and keeping our credit score pristine. I budgeted for meals and groceries, I made the grocery lists, I collected coupons to save money, I did all of the grocery shopping, I drug all of the groceries in the house, and I put everything away (many times after working a full day or on my day off). I cooked all the meals—day in and day out. I planned and budgeted for all of our holidays, miscellaneous celebrations and our vacations. Before my daughter moved out west, I ran her and her friends around because my husband didn’t want to be bothered.

Additionally, Margaret, I allowed our “extra” money to be used for our retirement rentals which means I did not get new clothes, new shoes, new cars or new furniture, and I didn’t get my house remodeled and completed the way I wanted it done. Also, I didn’t get any plastic surgery—no rock-hard tits, no liposuction, no tummy tuck, no tooth veneers and no Botox injections. I didn’t even get the dental work (caps on my front teeth to replace the fillings) I wanted because the extra money was needed for our rentals. I sacrificed and I compromised for my husband’s and my retirement because I thought that was important. Did you not notice our house, Margaret? Partially done. Wallboard with no trim around the windows and no baseboard. Walls left unpainted. No siding. Pretty much a ghetto house. Everything that had been done to our home was because I saved the money and then I started doing it myself, or I cajoled my husband into doing the things that I did not have the skills to do myself (I’m now learning everything I need to know to take care of myself when/if I become single again). When I started doing things myself and asked for his help, and he would help me—grudgingly and when he had time.

Even though my husband neither acknowledged nor voiced his appreciation for everything I did during our marriage, I settled for his honesty and his faithfulness in place of any show of appreciation. But his faithfulness and honesty no longer exists, does it? And when I slid and I could not keep all of this going because I could not function properly as a result of my depression and because of the anti-depressants I was taking, my husband stuck his head up your ass. What’s really both sad and ironic about all of this, is that I have done more in one year of my marriage then you have done in the twenty-plus years you’ve been married to Al. But my husband was too selfish and to sure of his own “I am the God of husband’s” egotism to either acknowledge or appreciate this (he has always been the “God-of-get-up-in-the-morning-put-on-your-shoes-and-work-eight-hours-and-do-little-more-beyond-that.” Just like you are the “Goddess” of the same—which is why you started your own, exclusive, little mutual appreciation society. Such hard workers (and you did bring that to my attention, didn’t you Margaret?). And yet when my husband attempted to do even a fraction of what I had done all of our married life together, he couldn’t do it. It was too hard for him. He didn’t have time. My husband became angry and resentful because I was too incapacitated to take care of everything anymore, and he didn’t want to be bothered with what I had been doing all of our married life together (of course he was depressed during this time, but neither of us was aware of the extent of his depression until later). And you helped him feel that way, didn’t you, Margaret? You encouraged his frustration, and you even told him that you “could take better care of him” then me. My husband failed. And then he failed some more. What a total and complete waste of my time, my sacrifices and my compromises.

After I kicked my husband and you out, Margaret, I decided I’m just not going to do it all anymore. You were my reward for years of hard work, responsibility, obligation, sacrifice and compromise. Even though I am no longer depressed and I’m no longer on anti-depressants, I’ve decided there is no glory in “doing it all.” Women’s Liberation has told us that we “can have it all,” but what they didn’t tell us is that we have “to do it all” too. I’m sure there are millions of women out there who feel exactly how I feel. I know you don’t feel that way because Al has taken care of most of what I have listed above, hasn’t he? Just so you could have the time to keep yourself physically fit so that you would look your physical best. Maybe it’s my turn to get up in the morning, go to work, and then do absolutely nothing more except what I want to do. What a great life that would be. It’s not work that makes us tired, Margaret, it is the worry, the juggling of the minutiae of life, and the obligations and responsibilities in our lives and to our families that can exhaust us. But you wouldn’t know this because you have done none to very little of what I have just written about.

[not dazed or confused]

Continued, yet again:

Since you claim your mother “didn’t teach you anything,” I have compiled a list of suggestions and advice:



If you don’t want people to write or say things about you like what has been written in this story and the “Al Lang Story,” you might want to consider not behaving or acting in such a manner that either allows or compels people to write and/or say these things about you. It’s pretty simple, Margaret—most people are very successful at avoiding this kind of thing.




If you are afraid someone is going to pull out a gun and shoot you, Margaret, you may want to consider not doing the things that would compel someone to do this. You’ve committed adultery four times, and three of these men have been married. You are living on borrowed time, Margaret. The next time you do this, you just might develop a more personal relationship with the business end of a Smith & Wesson.




Don’t double-cross or betray someone who knows your secrets. That is something you should have learned in grade school. I would consider ramming your tongue down the throat of the husband whose wife knows your secrets would pretty much be considered a double-cross and a betrayal. Begging the husband to leave the wife who knows your secrets to leave that wife is definitely a double-cross and a betrayal. Grinding your nasty, skanky crotch against the husband of the wife who knows your secrets is absolutely, without any doubt, a double-cross and a betrayal. See what I mean? If you hadn’t done any of these things, I would have had no reason or feel any compulsion to write these things. It’s not rocket science, Margaret. Also, just a thought: remember when you mentioned your, ummm, sexual frustration and I suggested an ‘electronic toy?’ You acted as if something like that was an offense to your delicate sensibilities. So explain to me, Margaret, how is using an ‘electronic toy’ any less offensive than grinding your nasty, skanky crotch against the penis of a married man? Just wondering.




·Quit bad-mouthing your husband while laboring under the delusion that you are better than him, or that you deserve better than who he is. Wipe the fog off the mirror you have been breathing all your “I’m so much better than my husband in every way, and I’m so much better than everyone else who isn’t as obsessively exercised as I am” hot air on and take a good look at yourself. You are a serial adulteress who preys on married men—specifically married men with seriously ill and/or incapacitated wives. What about the Tae Kwon Do instructor? Did his wife just have a miscarriage? Was there a recent death of a loved one in her family? Did she experience a serious injury? What about Avery’s long-term girlfriend? What was going on with her?



You are the most dishonest person I have ever met in my life: “your husband’s soooooo much like a brother to me,” and the hundreds of other lies one needs to tell in order to live your adulteress lifestyle. Your worst lie, Margaret, was you being in my life, in my home and in my family while you were stalking and seducing my husband and while you had your nasty hand down my husband’s pants (lies don’t get much worse than that). I’ve been watching “Lie to Me” on hulu so that I can attempt to tell when people are lying to me. I don’t know if it will work because I have this incredibly, insane character flaw that makes me want to actually believe in people. I’m changing that.
You are duplicitous: “I love you soooooo much and I want to be the fourth sister in your family, but—shhhh—I love your husband too, so I’m just going to thrust my nasty hand right down his pants while you’re incapacitated;” “I just love your granddaughter soooooo much, but—shhhh—I ’m still going to destroy the only stable home she’s ever had because what I want and need is much more important than her;” “I’m such a serving and loving and caring and nurturing person, but—shhhh—I ’m still doing everything I possibly can to destroy your marriage, your life and your family because I need to be taken care of by your husband,” etc.
You are deceptive and sneaky. And cool as a cucumber the whole time you’re being deceptive and sneaky. Yep… cool, calm and collected just like you’ve had years and years of experience (oh wait… you have had years and years of experience!). While my husband was experiencing a mental meltdown right in front of everyone because of all the deception and sneakiness, you were cool as a cucumber—impressive, really. The top-secret, love-connection phones—of which you had set up and for which you were paying—is an excellent example of your sneakiness. My husband was impressed. Those phones may have seemed normal to you, Margaret, but for the rest of us they merely represented your impressive deception and sneakiness skills.
You are excessively and annoyingly needy: hundreds of phone calls to my husband, Margaret—hundreds! Over a thousand! And then hundreds more to me! In hindsight, and through the prism of what I know today, you were stalking the both of us—especially my husband. If I hadn’t been incapacitated (numb, anesthetized, burrowed, trying to survive, etc) while all of this was going on, I would have kicked your ass then and told you to get the hell out of my life, out of my home and out of the apartment I was renting to you to keep your pathetic, family-destroying neediness away from all of us.
You are excessively clingy: every night at our house? You needed—and possibly still need—to get a life and an identity… and I don’t mean you should steal someone else’s life or attempt to, weirdly, obtain someone else’s identity—I mean you need to get your own life and you need to get your own identity. Once you have your own life and your own identity, your need to steal from others will be either gone or diminished.
You are manipulative: every time you speak to someone and withhold specific information, tell a lie or expand on the truth to glean a specific reaction or feeling from that person you are manipulating that person. Once again, Margaret, it ain’t rocket science. You are 43 years old, and even if your poor mother (as you allege) didn’t teach you anything, this is something you should have learned by this stage of your life.
You are selfish: up at 4 a.m. to exercise, work by 8 a.m., home to spend an hour with your family, and then to bed just so you can look good in a mirror; stepping into someone else’s family and marriage after they have worked over two decades together to build what they have and wanting all of it for yourself—including their happiness with each other. I bet the fact that my in-laws are wealthy was the clincher, wasn’t it, Margaret (just think of all the plastic surgery that could be had with their several million dollars)? Paying thousands of dollars (that neither you or Al have) to get plastic surgery when that money could be spent on more unselfish things (I bet you could have paid for an entire year of university for your oldest daughter with the money you’ve spent on plastic surgery… or you could have fed an entire village in Africa for a decade on what you’ve spent to make your exterior more appealing).
You are self-centered and you are egotistical: “if I ever get that big would you please kill me?” “I can’t help it if married men are attracted to me because their wives are seriously ill and/or incapacitated and they have let themselves ‘go,’ and I’m so much more physically attractive then they are,” etc..
You are crude: walking around with your rock-hard, surgery-enhanced tits hanging out all over the place, taking your bra off in front of a married man, announcing that you aren’t wearing under underwear under your short skirt in front of several people—including two married men, allowing your shaved bush to peak out of the top of your low-rise jeans, discussing your marital sex life with married men, allowing your dirty underwear to be in full view of anyone who walked into your apartment.
See what I mean? Wipe the hot-air induced fog away, Margaret, and take a good, long look at what’s inside you. Now what were/are Al’s imperfections and flaws? List them, Margaret, and compare them with yours.




You need to grow yourself some real woman balls. And while you’re at it, get yourself a spine and run out and buy yourself a gross of big girl panties. The only place you can get real woman balls, a spine and big girl panties, Margaret, is through God. Only God can give you the strength, the tenacity and the courage to do only what is good. Once you have your real woman balls and your spine, and once you have on a pair of your big girl panties, decide what the hell you want to do with your life. Quit bringing innocent people into your own self-induced misery, quit using them to beat your husband up against, and quit getting them to feel sorry for you with all of your boo hoo’s, your tear-filled eyes, and your “I’m so miserable, I just want to die” manipulation. Leave Al—on your own—if that is what you want. Or, you can actually stay with the man and finally, after twenty-plus years of marriage, start seriously contributing to your relationship and your marriage—and I am not referring to working eight hours a day, vacuuming the floor or doing the laundry. I am referring to real, adult, mature engagement with your spouse and your children. Regardless of what you choose, Margaret, you are going to need the balls, the spine and the big girl panties to succeed. Haven’t you figured out why very little has worked for you so far in your life? It hasn’t worked because you don’t have the balls, the spine or the big girl panties required to make it work.



Quit looking for the ideal. The ideal doesn’t exist, Margaret. You need to remember that when you jump over the fence because you think the grass is greener, you are bringing yourself with you, and it has been “yourself” that has made your own grass wither and die. The only thing that can save you, Margaret, is God, and the more you try finding God in the married men you prey upon, the more harm you cause everyone around you—even, and especially, your own children.




Stop lying. Start being honest with yourself, with your husband, with your family and with everyone else who comes into your life. I’m not talking about the little lies that people tell every day; I’m talking about the big lies that harm and destroy. And guess what, Margaret? Withholding pertinent information, avoiding the truth and half-truths are all a part of lying; lying is dishonesty and dishonesty is all about withholding pertinent information, avoiding the truth and telling only parts of the truth, and because of what you have done in my life you have proven that you are a very dishonest woman. The fact that you came into my life with an ulterior motive (that motive being that you and he should “be together” because you two got “along so well” and because you were attracted to him is absolutely, balls-out dishonest. You are a liar (what was that bible verse that you constantly quoted about liars and lying?). The entire time you were in my life you were withholding pertinent information, you were avoiding telling the truth, and you were only telling bits and parts of the whole truth. You lied to me, and you were dishonest every single day you were in my life. Only someone who is truly ignorant, without a conscience or developmentally disabled would not be able to see this. I don’t care if your mother didn’t teach you this because you are too old not to have learned this on your own.




Tell the truth about what really happened with ‘the pastor.’ Release ‘the pastor,’ his wife and his family from the prison of lies you’ve built around them (and I refer only to you because I do not know if Al actually knew you were lying, or if he just wanted to believe that you were the victim to protect himself… he knows… you know… I don’t). If you don’t have the balls to do it on this forum at least tell your siblings (especially Katherine—she has been as gullible as the rest of us, but she needs to know the truth, Margaret… some of your siblings and ‘the pastor’ and his family were friends before you messed everything up… the pain and the harm you have caused others with your web of deceit has been far-reaching). You have no idea how amusing it was for me to hear Katherine tell me—because she actually believed the lies in your lawsuit against GGWO and ‘the pastor’—that my husband had some kind of power over you… I nearly peed myself… seriously). By releasing ‘the pastor’ from your prison of lies, Margaret, you also release yourself. Set aside your self-pride and just tell the truth. Self-pride is only an illusion that people use to protect themselves from realty, truth and, most of all, humility. GGWO isn’t going to ask for their money back. It’s been ten years, and I’m sure they have just wanted to put all of this behind them. Lies are like noxious weeds—if you let them grow, they will re-seed and become, well, noxious. And if you don’t pull them up by the roots completely, they’ll just come back to create havoc later. Kill the lies, Margaret.




Serve. You kept talking about serving others, Margaret, but the only person I ever saw you serve was yourself. Service starts at home. Service starts with God, your husband and your children. So far, the only thing you have actually served is your own needs and your own selfish, obsessive compulsions. Quit just talking the talk and start walking the walk. It’s easy—just start putting others before yourself. Instead of saying to yourself “I want” or “I need,” start saying “what does God want and need from me?” “What does my husband want and need from me?” “What do my children want and need from me?” Start asking yourself what you can do to make the world a better place, and start asking yourself what you can do to actually contribute to the happiness and well-being of others (which would be far better than contributing to the misery and destruction of others, don’t you think?).




Let it go and move on. You told me that day in the coffee shop that I needed to “move on” while you are so full of the hurt that others have allegedly caused you that you have learned to use that hurt as a weapon and an excuse to harm others. What did you say to me that day in my house before I found out exactly who and what you were? You were standing there with your typical tear-filled eyes and quivering chin and you said, tearfully and mournfully, “my parents didn’t teach me anything!” You are stuck in a “little girl hurt” mode when you should have moved on years ago. Your parents weren’t perfect. So what? It could have been a lot worse. There are people out there who have had worse childhoods than you, but they have managed to move on. The same goes with your husband. You still speak angrily and resentfully about real or perceived hurts and injustices years after each incident. Get over it. At least he did not do to you what you have done to him.

[not dazed or confused]

finally:

Well, I can’t think of anymore ‘advice’ to give you.

Just remember, Margaret, you can become a better person. Turn to God. Regardless of this story and my note to you, I am working on my anger through God (even if it doesn’t seem like that). You and my husband offended me on every single level of my life, and that has made my dealing with the anger more difficult. I needed to get all of this off my chest. Now I have to get it out of my heart, out of brain and out of my soul. Plus, the Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome doesn’t help. The nightmares definitely don’t help.



Also, you know my number, Margaret, so you can call to meet me anytime you like and you can point out any "false statements" in what I have written. Also, I'm usually at the coffee shop right behind your house nearly every day.


And remember Margaret: There’s room for everybody on the ‘nice’ list.


Me