SpirituallyAbused
11-02-2008, 04:01 AM
There is another thread for AMC but I wasn't able to post there, so I am starting a new one to warn people about this church.
I "became" a Christian through AMC during college. I was at a very vulnerable stage in my life and going through a lot of emotional stress for various reasons. AMC evangelized to me, took care of me and eventually I "became" a Christian. I believe my "conversion" was a result of my vulnerability at that time, my need to believe in something greater than myself to save me from my problems.
Eventually, I got asked to be a student leader, so I agreed. I served as a student/college leader at AMC. It was the worst 2-3 years of my life. I was spiritually abused, misled, and pressured into putting God over my studies or else I'd be looked downed upon as spiritually deficient. Or, I'd be demoted from my leadership duties because I didn't love God enough.
My grades suffered. I lost my non-Christian friends.
All the while, I attended two church services on Sundays (4 hours), meetings throughout the weekday (15+ hours) including morning prayers everyday at 8am, and lead a Bible Study.
I didn't have sex or drink or party. I lived the most excruciatingly isolated and prudent life.
It wasn't enough for them.
If I didn't understand a church teaching, I wasn't "spiritually mature" enough. One teaching that really scared me was "hating our enemies." Pastors told us we had to hate our enemies, not hate their sin, actually hate the person. I got really confused and the pastors told me not to think about it because I couldn't understand at this point in my oh-so-immature Christian walk.
The church made me feel deficient when I couldn't pray for four hours straight or keep awake during their all-night prayer meetings. They essentially believed I wasn't part of "the elect."
The pastors wouldn't baptize me and wouldn't tell me why. One time, during a communion service, the head pastor separated all the baptized from the non-baptized, saying it was like God separating the sheep from the goats. They made all the non-baptized sit in the back of the church, like we were bad, sinful people even though all of us were attending church regularly and professed to believe in Christ.
Pastors imply that you are going to hell if you miss a few of their meetings. I was told to my face by a pastor they weren't really sure if I was a "friend of Jesus" even when I was going to church every week but decided not to be a part of a small group due to stress/lack of time. They told me for sure I was no longer a "friend of the church," but a guest, even after all I had done as a student leader.
One time when I got into a car accident on my way to church (from sheer exhaustion - the church was 40 miles away, an hour in traffic), they told me "God's trying to get your attention" because I wasn't involved enough in the church. I remember crying because I was so exhausted and felt so pressured to get more involved though I physically could not.
To top it off, I was experiencing abuse outside of the church. I sought help for it and the church told me the abuse was a result of me "giving myself to the world."
I cried my eyes out at least 2-3 times a week while being a part of AMC. No one cared.
The church says they will be your family but when you can't handle the intensity of their church, they treat you like the family dog so that eventually you'll leave on your own accord.
When I left, I had no friends. I had to start my life over again.
Now, I am living a much more fulfilling life NOT being a Christian. I have friends again and am enjoying life.
Again, I repeat: I believe my conversion was a result of my vulnerability at that time, my need to believe in something greater than myself to save me from my problems.
Now I know better. I am dealing with my problems head on. I feel empowered, fulfilled. I have non-Christian friends who are open-minded and always there for me even when I do not share their same beliefs.
I "became" a Christian through AMC during college. I was at a very vulnerable stage in my life and going through a lot of emotional stress for various reasons. AMC evangelized to me, took care of me and eventually I "became" a Christian. I believe my "conversion" was a result of my vulnerability at that time, my need to believe in something greater than myself to save me from my problems.
Eventually, I got asked to be a student leader, so I agreed. I served as a student/college leader at AMC. It was the worst 2-3 years of my life. I was spiritually abused, misled, and pressured into putting God over my studies or else I'd be looked downed upon as spiritually deficient. Or, I'd be demoted from my leadership duties because I didn't love God enough.
My grades suffered. I lost my non-Christian friends.
All the while, I attended two church services on Sundays (4 hours), meetings throughout the weekday (15+ hours) including morning prayers everyday at 8am, and lead a Bible Study.
I didn't have sex or drink or party. I lived the most excruciatingly isolated and prudent life.
It wasn't enough for them.
If I didn't understand a church teaching, I wasn't "spiritually mature" enough. One teaching that really scared me was "hating our enemies." Pastors told us we had to hate our enemies, not hate their sin, actually hate the person. I got really confused and the pastors told me not to think about it because I couldn't understand at this point in my oh-so-immature Christian walk.
The church made me feel deficient when I couldn't pray for four hours straight or keep awake during their all-night prayer meetings. They essentially believed I wasn't part of "the elect."
The pastors wouldn't baptize me and wouldn't tell me why. One time, during a communion service, the head pastor separated all the baptized from the non-baptized, saying it was like God separating the sheep from the goats. They made all the non-baptized sit in the back of the church, like we were bad, sinful people even though all of us were attending church regularly and professed to believe in Christ.
Pastors imply that you are going to hell if you miss a few of their meetings. I was told to my face by a pastor they weren't really sure if I was a "friend of Jesus" even when I was going to church every week but decided not to be a part of a small group due to stress/lack of time. They told me for sure I was no longer a "friend of the church," but a guest, even after all I had done as a student leader.
One time when I got into a car accident on my way to church (from sheer exhaustion - the church was 40 miles away, an hour in traffic), they told me "God's trying to get your attention" because I wasn't involved enough in the church. I remember crying because I was so exhausted and felt so pressured to get more involved though I physically could not.
To top it off, I was experiencing abuse outside of the church. I sought help for it and the church told me the abuse was a result of me "giving myself to the world."
I cried my eyes out at least 2-3 times a week while being a part of AMC. No one cared.
The church says they will be your family but when you can't handle the intensity of their church, they treat you like the family dog so that eventually you'll leave on your own accord.
When I left, I had no friends. I had to start my life over again.
Now, I am living a much more fulfilling life NOT being a Christian. I have friends again and am enjoying life.
Again, I repeat: I believe my conversion was a result of my vulnerability at that time, my need to believe in something greater than myself to save me from my problems.
Now I know better. I am dealing with my problems head on. I feel empowered, fulfilled. I have non-Christian friends who are open-minded and always there for me even when I do not share their same beliefs.