John Cady
07-23-2008, 09:45 AM
bramble: "If you were one of the Single Men and lived in staff housing what were your thoughts after your first year in CFCMI? Had you, at that moment in time, entertained thoughts of leaving or getting outside friends to join?"
I was there from 1986 to 2003. During my first eight years in the organization, I did not live in staff housing due to my sea duty status. I was underway a lot, and at that time single sailors (E6 and below) on sea duty did not get a housing allowance. I sometimes stayed at one of the guys' apartments, and initially did not see the arrangements as abnormal. In 1987, when I made a visit to Waukegan, I did stay at the compound on 715 8th Street. It was pretty crowded on a daily basis, and I marvelled at how those men could put up with the living conditions.
In Norfolk, the men all stayed at 9610 Granby Street. It was a two-story house where the staff slept upstairs, and guests crashed on the floor downstairs in the living room. Again, I was usually there on weekends, so to me it looked like one big hangout at the time. For the most part I was treated as well as they were able to, and I was not privy to any perverted goings-on. Neighbors did complain about the noise, especially on Friday nights when as many as 50 or more of us would cram into the place. Waking up in the morning to take a shower was a challenge. I conditioned myself to wake up very early to clean up so I wouldn't be standing in line...50 men, 2 bathrooms...you get the picture.
In 1988 we moved to an apartment complex on 29th Bay, then to one on 21st Bay in 1990. Once the single sailors started drawing a housing allowance, I was able to move into one of the apartments. One brother owned his own home and leased rooms to some of us in 1994; when "The Pillars" (a series of renovated crackhouses on 16th Bay) opened up, I moved there in 1996 and stayed until after I left in 2003.
After my first year living in staff housing, I honestly thought - like many who still attend - that I was doing the right thing. I did not understand, though, why none of us ever invited family members to come over and visit. That did seem odd. The secrecy of staff housing was like the Batcave in that sense. In my case, it was very difficult to put someone in an apartment with me. My schedule, especially being underway, meant someone would "be there alone"; yet I lived there alone. For most of the seven years I lived at the Pillars I lived by myself. Near the end, especially after 2001, I began having a lot of doubts about sticking around; I was already reading through AbusiveChurches.Org and looking for answers. Since I lived alone, and had my own internet access (independent of the church), I was able to read at my leisure once I returned from the night's activities.
I am certain Ed suspected, especially after I submitted a reform proposal, that I was considering walking out but I did not drop any clues. However, all the years of putting up with the leadership's lies and double standards took a toll on me - physically, mentally, and spiritually. In May of 2002 I had a nervous breakdown while on leave, but God allowed me to recover quickly. When I returned from leave I was moved to another partment because my "fortress of solitude" suffered hidden water damage. That arrangement was only to be for 30 days, but it turned into five months and I got into a heated argument with John Erickson, who was a co-owner of the buildings. I threatened to walk out right then and there, and he quickly found an upstairs unit where I could stay; I had a roommate at first, but he was reassigned after I left the church. John even offered to let me break the lease, but I smelled a rat and chose to honor it until the lease ran out - then I moved.
I was living there when my wife and I began dating; she was not at all happy with the place, and saw the strange behavior going on. Trust me, I did not like dropping that piece of news on her!
Sorry for rambling, but looking back I can see where I was misled into thinking I was doing the right thing; I simply did not see the living arrangments as abnormal. As for inviting outside friends: I invited a few to hang out on a weekend, but never to live there.
I was there from 1986 to 2003. During my first eight years in the organization, I did not live in staff housing due to my sea duty status. I was underway a lot, and at that time single sailors (E6 and below) on sea duty did not get a housing allowance. I sometimes stayed at one of the guys' apartments, and initially did not see the arrangements as abnormal. In 1987, when I made a visit to Waukegan, I did stay at the compound on 715 8th Street. It was pretty crowded on a daily basis, and I marvelled at how those men could put up with the living conditions.
In Norfolk, the men all stayed at 9610 Granby Street. It was a two-story house where the staff slept upstairs, and guests crashed on the floor downstairs in the living room. Again, I was usually there on weekends, so to me it looked like one big hangout at the time. For the most part I was treated as well as they were able to, and I was not privy to any perverted goings-on. Neighbors did complain about the noise, especially on Friday nights when as many as 50 or more of us would cram into the place. Waking up in the morning to take a shower was a challenge. I conditioned myself to wake up very early to clean up so I wouldn't be standing in line...50 men, 2 bathrooms...you get the picture.
In 1988 we moved to an apartment complex on 29th Bay, then to one on 21st Bay in 1990. Once the single sailors started drawing a housing allowance, I was able to move into one of the apartments. One brother owned his own home and leased rooms to some of us in 1994; when "The Pillars" (a series of renovated crackhouses on 16th Bay) opened up, I moved there in 1996 and stayed until after I left in 2003.
After my first year living in staff housing, I honestly thought - like many who still attend - that I was doing the right thing. I did not understand, though, why none of us ever invited family members to come over and visit. That did seem odd. The secrecy of staff housing was like the Batcave in that sense. In my case, it was very difficult to put someone in an apartment with me. My schedule, especially being underway, meant someone would "be there alone"; yet I lived there alone. For most of the seven years I lived at the Pillars I lived by myself. Near the end, especially after 2001, I began having a lot of doubts about sticking around; I was already reading through AbusiveChurches.Org and looking for answers. Since I lived alone, and had my own internet access (independent of the church), I was able to read at my leisure once I returned from the night's activities.
I am certain Ed suspected, especially after I submitted a reform proposal, that I was considering walking out but I did not drop any clues. However, all the years of putting up with the leadership's lies and double standards took a toll on me - physically, mentally, and spiritually. In May of 2002 I had a nervous breakdown while on leave, but God allowed me to recover quickly. When I returned from leave I was moved to another partment because my "fortress of solitude" suffered hidden water damage. That arrangement was only to be for 30 days, but it turned into five months and I got into a heated argument with John Erickson, who was a co-owner of the buildings. I threatened to walk out right then and there, and he quickly found an upstairs unit where I could stay; I had a roommate at first, but he was reassigned after I left the church. John even offered to let me break the lease, but I smelled a rat and chose to honor it until the lease ran out - then I moved.
I was living there when my wife and I began dating; she was not at all happy with the place, and saw the strange behavior going on. Trust me, I did not like dropping that piece of news on her!
Sorry for rambling, but looking back I can see where I was misled into thinking I was doing the right thing; I simply did not see the living arrangments as abnormal. As for inviting outside friends: I invited a few to hang out on a weekend, but never to live there.