Interesting Reading...

[turningjapanese]

The Cult of the Narcissist

The narcissist is the guru at the center of a cult. Like other gurus, he demands complete obedience from his flock: his spouse, his offspring, other family members, friends, and colleagues. He feels entitled to adulation and special treatment by his followers. He punishes the wayward and the straying lambs. He enforces discipline, adherence to his teachings, and common goals. The less accomplished he is in reality - the more stringent his mastery and the more pervasive the brainwashing.

The - often involuntary - members of the narcissist's mini-cult inhabit a twilight zone of his own construction. He imposes on them a shared psychosis, replete with persecutory delusions, "enemies", mythical narratives, and apocalyptic scenarios if he is flouted.

The narcissist's control is based on ambiguity, unpredictability, fuzziness, and ambient abuse. His ever-shifting whims exclusively define right versus wrong, desirable and unwanted, what is to be pursued and what to be avoided. He alone determines the rights and obligations of his disciples and alters them at will.

The narcissist is a micro-manager. He exerts control over the minutest details and behaviors. He punishes severely and abuses withholders of information and those who fail to conform to his wishes and goals.

The narcissist does not respect the boundaries and privacy of his reluctant adherents. He ignores their wishes and treats them as objects or instruments of gratification. He seeks to control both situations and people compulsively.

He strongly disapproves of others' personal autonomy and independence. Even innocuous activities, such as meeting a friend or visiting one's family require his permission. Gradually, he isolates his nearest and dearest until they are fully dependent on him emotionally, sexually, financially, and socially.

He acts in a patronizing and condescending manner and criticizes often. He alternates between emphasizing the minutest faults (devalues) and exaggerating the talents, traits, and skills (idealizes) of the members of his cult. He is wildly unrealistic in his expectations - which legitimizes his subsequent abusive conduct.

The narcissist claims to be infallible, superior, talented, skillful, omnipotent, and omniscient. He often lies and confabulates to support these unfounded claims. Within his cult, he expects awe, admiration, adulation, and constant attention commensurate with his outlandish stories and assertions. He reinterprets reality to fit his fantasies.

His thinking is dogmatic, rigid, and doctrinaire. He does not countenance free thought, pluralism, or free speech and doesn't brook criticism and disagreement. He demands - and often gets - complete trust and the relegation to his capable hands of all decision-making.

He forces the participants in his cult to be hostile to critics, the authorities, institutions, his personal enemies, or the media - if they try to uncover his actions and reveal the truth. He closely monitors and censors information from the outside, exposing his captive audience only to selective data and analyses.

The narcissist's cult is "missionary" and "imperialistic". He is always on the lookout for new recruits - his spouse's friends, his daughter's girlfriends, his neighbors, new colleagues at work. He immediately attempts to "convert" them to his "creed" - to convince them how wonderful and admirable he is. In other words, he tries to render them sources of narcissistic supply.

Often, his behavior on these "recruiting missions" is different to his conduct within the "cult". In the first phases of wooing new admirers and proselytizing to potential "conscripts" - the narcissist is attentive, compassionate, empathic, flexible, self-effacing, and helpful. At home, among the "veterans" he is tyrannical, demanding, willful, opinionated, aggressive, and exploitative.

As the leader of his congregation, the narcissist feels entitled to special amenities and benefits not accorded the "rank and file". He expects to be waited on hand and foot, to make free use of everyone's money and dispose of their assets liberally, and to be cynically exempt from the rules that he himself established (if such violation is pleasurable or gainful).

In extreme cases, the narcissist feels above the law - any kind of law. This grandiose and haughty conviction leads to criminal acts, incestuous or polygamous relationships, and recurrent friction with the authorities.

Hence the narcissist's panicky and sometimes violent reactions to "dropouts" from his cult. There's a lot going on that the narcissist wants kept under wraps. Moreover, the narcissist stabilizes his fluctuating sense of self-worth by deriving narcissistic supply from his victims. Abandonment threatens the narcissist's precariously balanced personality.

Add to that the narcissist's paranoid and schizoid tendencies, his lack of introspective self-awareness, and his stunted sense of humor (lack of self-deprecation) and the risks to the grudging members of his cult are clear.

The narcissist sees enemies and conspiracies everywhere. He often casts himself as the heroic victim (martyr) of dark and stupendous forces. In every deviation from his tenets he espies malevolent and ominous subversion. He, therefore, is bent on disempowering his devotees. By any and all means.

The narcissist is dangerous.

[bramble]

Is this from a book? It is very informative and interesting. Where did you find this? I hope someone in CFC stumbles upon it.

[John Cady]

Ouch. I read this and it completely fits the mindset of Davis, Paine, and Thomas. Makes me glad I left.

[turningjapanese]

Unfortunately, it is the harsh reality of the situation.

I'm glad you left too.

[turningjapanese]

Called by God to Ministry: Narcissists have a Profound Sense of Call


I wanted to explore the idea of why so many people who feel “called” to ministry end up damaging so many people.

One of the chief characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder is a belief they have a “special purpose” or “high calling.” Some believe they are destined for greatness on the battlefield, as the ideal spouse or parent, as a civic or national leader or spiritual greatness as a religious leader.

One of the great things about the church: You can always get a gig.

I may not have the skill to get elected, the talent to be the next American Idol, the consistency and perseverance to be a great parent. But anyone can learn to fake it as a preacher and develop a following—no matter how crazy they seem to most people.

So those who have an “inner need” for greatness to cover their shame, yet lack the maturity to pursue a “real” career, ministry is their Willie Wonka.

Narcissists often can’t see their ambition is often unreasonable, or will result in negative consequence for others. Their deep sense of inner shame forces them to settle for nothing less than greatness. “Average” is their worst enemy.

If you ask a narcissist about “The Call” they will tell you in no uncertain terms they KNOW they are called BY GOD to a certain ministry objective or to ministry in general. They will use that subjective “Call” to justify their authority (like Moses and Elijah) or to excuse their totalitarian decision style or to convince others to give “sacrificially” to their “ministry” while they THEMSELVES live in opulence.

No matter how obvious their mediocrity is to any neutral observer, many will follow the narcissist (even to their death Rev. Jones) because they feel their own sense of shame and need the absolutes the narcissist provides.

Narcissists do not have an absolute, externally produced value system. They may have a very strong INTERNALLY produced value system and may often use an appeal to the Bible to “prove” the veracity and authority of their belief system.

In addition they will do all they can to place themselves above accountability and criticism. Their ego is so fragile they can’t handle it. So they either become the sole authority in an organization or they surround themselves with others who have a weaker will who will function as a rubber stamp while giving the appearance of accountability.

Narcissists love to be able to appoint their accountability partners and “board” while appealing to scriptures about Jesus picking the 12 or similar. “God has shown me” or “God has raised up” followed by a list of leaders the narcissist has chosen are common in this type of organization.

But truly the narcissist Emperor has no clothes.

Here are some things every Christian should know what the New Testament teaches about the early church:

While many people were “sent” to preach the Gospel to others, only a very few (12 or 13 depending on whether Matthias is a “true apostle” or not) had the actual position of Apostle. You will find debate on this topic because others both in and out of scripture are called apostles, but it is clear from Acts 1 that the original 11 (12 minus Judass) saw the position of Apostle as different than simply being “sent out” and as requiring 12 people.

Regardless, your pastor does NOT have Apostolic authority today, despite what he says.

In the early church many prophesied (preached) at a given meeting. These people were regular folks who shared as they believed God called them to share.

Paul believed in local “Elders” in the church. It seems he saw them as the body helping seek God for The Body. Plural. Accountable, it just takes two witnesses.

The Bible teaches clearly you do NOT need anyone to teach you—the Holy Spirit (our invisible friend) is enough. Most ministers are reluctant to preach this. What makes you think a 40 year old guy has enough experience and wisdom to be your life coach in everything from parenting to weight loss? Let alone pastors who are 25 or 30?

The Bible tells us clearly we are not to worry about numbers of followers but to instead realize most of the “followers” are, in fact, non-believers. The pastors who stress NUMBERS to be immune to this simple fact.

The best way to test whether you are dealing a narcissist is this: He’s encouraging you to unquestioningly "follow" him. If he is, you’re probably in trouble.

[turningjapanese]

Perhaps instead of seeing people as good or bad, we need to begin acknowledging a third group . . . the "Tricksters." Tricksters have the appearance of goodness that enables them to take advantage of others, taking all they can get, legally or illegally. These folks live through their possessions and material wealth means a great deal to them, although they may affect a humble, self-effacing attitude. It is not the mugger in the alley or other obvious shady characters we need to fear, for we have learned their ways. Disguised with charming manners and a smiling countenance, real danger lurks in an overly solitious new acquaintance who offers friendship easily . . . and just as easily withdraws it. Tricksters have two faces - one that smiles when we are helping to further their agenda, and another that turns cold when we can no longer support their projects or need financial help ourselves.

The following identifying markers will help alert people to the presence of "Tricksters":


A. Being insecure, yet proud, they will talk badly about other people, trying to get you to agree. They recount stories of personal success, but are stingy with praise for others.

B. Most of their waking hours are consumed with schemes for making money with the least amount of effort.

C. They have few, if any, real friends. These people are afraid to get close to anyone they can't completely control, for fear their deceptive nature will be uncovered. It may seem they are offering friendship and help, but it is only a mirage, acted out to gain one's confidence. Does confidence/con-man ring a bell?

D. They are excellent self-promoters, and have an exaggerated sense of their place in the eternal plan . . . delusions of Grandeur . . . and believe their calling is above that of others.

E. Except for sarcastic wit and put-down jokes, they lack a sense of humor, and almost never laugh at themselves.

F. They concentrate great energy on presenting an image of competence. Everything is done for show and the admiration of others. Their homes feel cold and empty, even when decorated with expensive art and creative furnishings.

G. They lack the "nurturing instinct." Most of the care they provide derives from a sense of responsibility imposed by society's expectations.

H. They often live through their children, trying to mold them in their image and disregarding the child's individuality.

I. Their most miserable moments are when they are low on cash and their happiest are those spent with newly acquired possessions or money itself.

J. They have a knack for borrowing money or getting people to give them something valuable for a small down-payment and big promises.

K. They cannot brook criticism, even constructive, and their authority must never be questioned.

L. Not always, but more often than not, they are fitness oriented, as they need to maintain their image. This interest in appearing fit usually has little to do with good health. This emphasis on outward appearance may include such health destroying practices as fad diets, over-consumption of alcohol instead of food, strict starvation diets, and often bulimia.

M. They love to talk, but only listen to find personal weaknesses or flaws in those with whom they converse, which can be used to their advantage at some future time, i.e., blackmail.

N. They love to draw up and sign agreement contracts as a way to help "protect" you.

O. Believing themselves above the law, they circumvent as many regulations as possible to cut operating costs.

P. They lie, or tell half-truths, and evade direct questions.

Q. They underpay their workers, employ illegal aliens, keep employees on part-time status to avoid tax and insurance costs, and lie on their tax returns.

R. They "lure" people into money making schemes and partnerships to separate them from their money, and are adept at discarding folks who are no longer useful to them or have been sucked dry.

S. They use relatives and friends to do work they would otherwise have to pay professionals for.

T. They are cold, calculating, litigious, and rarely accept responsibility for failure. They act from their mindless ambition, seldom from their heart.

U. Spouses and children are controlled financially as well as emotionally. Their work and business are always more important than family time. Money is their first priority.

V. They are expert at blaming and putting others down to make themselves look good.

W. They are filled with fear, instead of light, and are overly concerned about security arrangements, their own well being, and naturally, their own eventual death.

X. If they own pets, they are usually expensive "show pieces," pedigreed animals, even wolf hybrids, a sad mix if ever there was one. Such animals often suffer emotional neglect, becoming either lonely, depressed, or vicious guard dogs.

Y. You can never trust them completely. They wear you out, mentally and emotionally with plans, schemes, gossip, and inside information.

Z. You can't relax around them as they are never truly happy or relaxed themselves, and always have a new "trick" or moneymaking project up their sleeves.


Not all tricksters display all of the above characteristics, but enough of them to be recognizable when we sit down to analyze their behavior. Why are we so often mesmerized by their dazzling reflections when our common sense should be flashing yellow warning lights before our eyes? Perhaps it is because these tricksters are adepts at using our own character weaknesses, manifestations of ego, and lack of suspiciousness to their own advantage. Sometimes we are just too stressed and preoccupied to listen to warning messages coming from deep within.

It is a matter of survival that we listen to the Spirit, evaluate our own motives, and use wisdom when beginning new ventures with new people. It is not character weakness or negativity on our part to check a person's references or past history before developing a relationship. Neither is it cold nor ruthless to terminate a developing relationship when we sense we are the "main course" on their menu.

Determining the source of the light that illuminates our new charismatic acquaintance's countenance is only common sense . . . something that is not so common anymore. Without the basic survival instinct of common sense, we may be lured like moths to the Trickster's moon-like brilliance and possible loss, damage or emotional destruction.

The scriptures state: Pray always. If we carry a prayer in our heart at all times, asking for the guidance of God's Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth, otherwise known as the Holy Ghost, we will be open to the light of truth and be able to see these Tricksters for the danger they are before they cause too much damage.

- A lie is any communication given with the intent to deceive.

- Elder Marvin J. Ashton

[John Cady]

The following identifying markers will help alert people to the presence of "Tricksters":

A. Being insecure, yet proud, they will talk badly about other people, trying to get you to agree. They recount stories of personal success, but are stingy with praise for others.

L.R. Davis, Ed Thomas, and to a degree Dan Lantis.

B. Most of their waking hours are consumed with schemes for making money with the least amount of effort.

Dan Lantis.

C. They have few, if any, real friends. These people are afraid to get close to anyone they can't completely control, for fear their deceptive nature will be uncovered. It may seem they are offering friendship and help, but it is only a mirage, acted out to gain one's confidence. Does confidence/con-man ring a bell?

L.R. Davis, Peter F. Paine, Ed Thomas, and Dan Lantis. Bruce Wilson acts too aloof.

D. They are excellent self-promoters, and have an exaggerated sense of their place in the eternal plan . . . delusions of Grandeur . . . and believe their calling is above that of others.

L.R. Davis, Ed Thomas, Peter F. Paine, Bruce Wilson, and Dan Lantis.

E. Except for sarcastic wit and put-down jokes, they lack a sense of humor, and almost never laugh at themselves.

Ed and Dan.

F. They concentrate great energy on presenting an image of competence. Everything is done for show and the admiration of others. Their homes feel cold and empty, even when decorated with expensive art and creative furnishings.

Ed and Dan.

G. They lack the "nurturing instinct." Most of the care they provide derives from a sense of responsibility imposed by society's expectations.

Pete, Ed, Dan, and Bruce. Davis at times showed sincerity in caring toward people despite his own perversion.

H. They often live through their children, trying to mold them in their image and disregarding the child's individuality.

L.R. - his own son left the church after he got married.
Ed and Pete have no control over their kids. Dan is probably controlling over his wife's son.

I. Their most miserable moments are when they are low on cash and their happiest are those spent with newly acquired possessions or money itself.

Ed and Dan, especially Dan.

J. They have a knack for borrowing money or getting people to give them something valuable for a small down-payment and big promises.

Dan.

K. They cannot brook criticism, even constructive, and their authority must never be questioned.

L.R., Ed, and Dan.

L. Not always, but more often than not, they are fitness oriented, as they need to maintain their image. This interest in appearing fit usually has little to do with good health. This emphasis on outward appearance may include such health destroying practices as fad diets, over-consumption of alcohol instead of food, strict starvation diets, and often bulimia.

Pete and Dan.

M. They love to talk, but only listen to find personal weaknesses or flaws in those with whom they converse, which can be used to their advantage at some future time, i.e., blackmail.

Ed is the expert on this one. He even uses discussions supposedly in private for sermon material.

N. They love to draw up and sign agreement contracts as a way to help "protect" you.

I have not seen this one in CFCMI.

O. Believing themselves above the law, they circumvent as many regulations as possible to cut operating costs.

This holds true with building programs. There are probably a bunch of code violations, but it's amazing what a false ceiling and drywall can hide.

P. They lie, or tell half-truths, and evade direct questions.

Pete, Ed, Dan, and Bruce.

Q. They underpay their workers, employ illegal aliens, keep employees on part-time status to avoid tax and insurance costs, and lie on their tax returns.

This is why L.R. established the single men's ministry - FREE LABOR with no benefits. As for the tax returns, I am not sure if they lied or not.

R. They "lure" people into money making schemes and partnerships to separate them from their money, and are adept at discarding folks who are no longer useful to them or have been sucked dry.

Pete especially suckered a lot of folks into Quixtar/Amway. Dan was real good at money-making scams too until he got burned in 2001 by another con artist.

S. They use relatives and friends to do work they would otherwise have to pay professionals for.

Much of the admin is done by family members, and the free labor by the single men.

T. They are cold, calculating, litigious, and rarely accept responsibility for failure. They act from their mindless ambition, seldom from their heart.

Ed and Dan.

U. Spouses and children are controlled financially as well as emotionally. Their work and business are always more important than family time. Money is their first priority.

L.R. and Ed both were controlling of family members. Look at Hazel, Pam, Debbie, and the grandchildren.

V. They are expert at blaming and putting others down to make themselves look good.

Ed - he blamed a 2003 church split on a "demonic revolt" which was actually his own making.

W. They are filled with fear, instead of light, and are overly concerned about security arrangements, their own well being, and naturally, their own eventual death.

Ed, Pete, and Dan are all probably preoccupied with this one, especially with Dan's cancer.

X. If they own pets, they are usually expensive "show pieces," pedigreed animals, even wolf hybrids, a sad mix if ever there was one. Such animals often suffer emotional neglect, becoming either lonely, depressed, or vicious guard dogs.

Ed is infamous for his "show dogs" which he paraded around like trophies. His favorites were pugs and Rottweilers.

Y. You can never trust them completely. They wear you out, mentally and emotionally with plans, schemes, gossip, and inside information.

Ed, Dan, and Bruce are all skillful at this. Pete tends to be politically correct.

Z. You can't relax around them as they are never truly happy or relaxed themselves, and always have a new "trick" or moneymaking project up their sleeves.

Ed and Dan.

[Hostile Duty]

N. They love to draw up and sign agreement contracts as a way to help "protect" you.

I do remember an incidence of something like this sometime between '92-'96
at CFC Norfolk when they were at 21st Bay St. and Oceanview.

Ed demanded a written "statement" of faith for why we chose to be "eunuchs", with a signature and date. I forget "why"...

[turningjapanese]

Ewww---my first thought was like a "pseudo-marriage contract?"

Now I think it was something he could have held against you, in some sick way.

I can't say for sure, because I don't have a warped sense of reality and the control issues that he exhibits.

[John Cady]

N. They love to draw up and sign agreement contracts as a way to help "protect" you.

I do remember an incidence of something like this sometime between '92-'96
at CFC Norfolk when they were at 21st Bay St. and Oceanview.

Ed demanded a written "statement" of faith for why we chose to be "eunuchs", with a signature and date. I forget "why"...
Since I was pretty open in my desire NOT to be a eunuch, I was out of the loop. From what Hostile Duty shared, the reason Ed wanted a written statement is so if you ever change your mind down the road, he can hold this against you and threaten you with hell, never being used in the ministry, etc.

Amazing how Ed forced men to do something he couldn't do himself.

[bramble]

Since I was pretty open in my desire NOT to be a eunuch, I was out of the loop. From what Hostile Duty shared, the reason Ed wanted a written statement is so if you ever change your mind down the road, he can hold this against you and threaten you with hell, never being used in the ministry, etc.

Amazing how Ed forced men to do something he couldn't do himself.

It is also amazing that given Ed's spotty past (drug dealing, embezzlment, tax evasion) that he can be taken seriously. His threats are empty and just more mind control. Coersed written statements don't hold up with God or man. CFC pastors are famous for coecing written statements from others. Just check out L. R. Davis transcripts. www.abusivechurches.org (http://www.abusivechurches.org)

Also, Ed got to marry and so can his offspring. They don't worry about going to Hell. Maybe they should be worried.

A "vow of eunichship" is invalid because in many cases was coerced by Ed or even L. R. himself. They guys were pushed into it rather hastily. They were also too young to know what they were getting into. A true vow must be made with thoughtful, prayerful contemplation and lots of time--as in years--spent alone with God in prayer. Such a vow can't have the coersion of a shotgun wedding and actually be a vow!

How can anyone with that strong of an attachment to sin as these so called CFC pastors threaten anyone else with going to Hell!

[turningjapanese]

How can anyone with that strong of an attachment to sin as these so called CFC pastors threaten anyone else with going to Hell?


See D.

[bramble]

How can anyone with that strong of an attachment to sin as these so called CFC pastors threaten anyone else with going to Hell?

See D.

I wonder how many of their followers are con-men and how many are simply yes-men.

[turningjapanese]

Read "Toxic Faith" for a breakdown of the various roles in organizations such as CFCMI.

If you have any questions regarding the book, the author is more than happy to discuss them, via email.

[bramble]

Found on the Wayback Machine--CFCMI Site c. 2003

"I see a Church...

...where we are consistantly more interested in exercicing forgiveness than in finding fault...where the drug addict seeks to find a better high...where the homosexual comes to know a better love...where the perverted can find peace and a fresh start in Christ."

I truly do not know what to make of this. Presumably this was written as a petition by a church member then submitted via collection basket during a Church service. On the surface it sounds good. Knowing the continued covert ongoings of CFCMI makes it sound fishy.

"where the drug addict finds a better high" Sociologists say that those who are addicted to drugs can become addicted to religion and cults in particular. They get a high off the intense, emotionally charged environment and like having every waking moment programmed for them. It is called a cross-addiction. This probably describes those in CFC who fear walking out.

"where the homosexual comes to know a better love" are they talking about loving God instead of being in same sex relationships or are they under the surface recruiting more particpants for their 'gay church'? Davis was always seeking out other homosexuals.

"where the perverted can find peace and a fresh start in Christ" I don't know if they truly mean what they say here. Do they offer some sort counselling for those suffering with same sex attraction? Do they take advantage of such people saying it is OK as long as feelings aren't involved? Who wants to be called a 'pervert'? I find that comment insensitive and 'politically incorrect'. I'm not a PCer, either.

[turningjapanese]

So CFCMI wants to be THE "church" for perverted, homosexual drug addicts? Well, I guess they succeeded in their "mission" then.

Where did you find this tidbit?

Also, you are correct in your assumption about addicts. Addictive tendencies are a personality/character trait. The addiction itself serves to salve inner pain. Whether it is to drugs, sex, booze, food, shopping, the internet, the "outward" manifestation doesn't matter. It's inter-changeable. And yes, one CAN get addicted to "religion." Just like a person can get a "high" from running, or working out. Seems pretty "healthy" from the "outside," doesn't it....inside, it's still an addiction!

[bramble]

So CFCMI wants to be THE "church" for perverted, homosexual drug addicts? Well, I guess they succeeded in their "mission" then.

Where did you find this tidbit?

Also, you are correct in your assumption about addicts. Addictive tendencies are a personality/character trait. The addiction itself serves to salve inner pain. Whether it is to drugs, sex, booze, food, shopping, the internet, the "outward" manifestation doesn't matter. It's inter-changeable. And yes, one CAN get addicted to "religion." Just like a person can get a "high" from running, or working out. Seems pretty "healthy" from the "outside," doesn't it....inside, it's still an addiction!

I found this on www.archive.org (http://www.archive.org) then I looked up CFCMI in archives. I think it was around 2003. I forget the month--should have jotted it down.

I also think that those with obsessive compulsive disorders would really have a hard time shaking the CFCMI addiction. Why? The would because of the routine that becomes such a mindless compulsion. Couple that with extreme exhaustion and living in third word living conditions and clear thinking goes out the window quickly.

Their routine is something like this:
wake up early
go to church,
scrounge up breakfast,
hang out and await orders
make lunch,
eat lunch,
do dishes,
hang out, jump through hoops,
make dinner,
hang out, jump through more hoops,
wash dishes,
go to Bible study or services,
hang out and fellowship,
go home late
clean house,
go to bed late
wake up in middle of night to pray,
go back to bed,
wake up early and do it again.

Between it all they have to make sure that no one can 'gitcha'. This isn't a spiritual lifestyle! It is an insane lifestyle! Meanwhile their brains and bodies atrophy.

[John Cady]

The Church I See

Peter F. Paine: Let me tell you the vision of the church I see, and as I do, I invite you to catch the vision. Come with me on a trip into the days, weeks, and years ahead, if God allows.

Fasten your seat belts...this is gonna be a strange trip!

Peter F. Paine: I See A Church...
...where every person in every fellowship and every congregation lives every day anxious to tell someone about Jesus.
...where we invite others to investigate the claims of Christ that God loves them - that, in the form of Jesus Christ, He shed His blood at Calvary for the remission of their sins - that the invitation to be buried with Christ in baptism and raised to walk in newness of life is personal - that they may receive the gifts of salvation, the Holy Ghost, and a life that matters.

Promising opening here, so let's continue...

Peter F. Paine: ...that knows what it believes, is able to share it with others, and where "evangelize, educate and equip" is not just our abbreviated mission statement, but a description of what we do every day of every week - not because we have to, but because we want to.
....where baptisms are daily events and the newly baptized are eagerly welcomed into Christian service.

Hmmm...when was the last time any teams of people were sent out to evangelize?
Does the "educate and equip" part mean that the single men will still be sitting around in the building waiting to be told what to do, or be fed a rehashed Bible study? Perhaps if you did like most soul-winning ministries do - allow the people to reach out and find their own voice and calling - you will actually see souls being saved on a daily basis, and new converts welcomed into the fold!

Peter F. Paine: ...where we see negative comments about others as a cancer and where we respond with firm but loving responses that remind us to be positive and productive.

Ahhh yes...now we get to the meat of the matter. This is Pete's way of saying, "Don't criticize what I do for God, nor what my family does in this ministry; especially do not talk badly about my late father-in-law". Pete is saying here that he does not want to hear any comments about pastoral misconduct, money laundering, Quixtar trips cloaked as *ministry trips*...just behave and be good little sheeple. The pastors know what they are doing...

Peter F. Paine: ...where we see each building as nothing more than a tool to do more for Jesus Christ and each soul as more important than any of our buildings.

Especially the rich people in the upscale areas like Lake Forest and Chesapeake. You grew tired of only seeing sailors and working-class folks in your sanctuary; Jesus said the poor you will have always. You guys decided to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to those who really sought to be ministered, because they could not provide you with any financial compensation.

Peter F. Paine: ...where the deaf can hear through volunteers using sign language during every service and Bible study.

OOPS! Mark Lanier and Dave Rowland were both good sign language interpreters, and they both were run off. Good luck on finding replacements.

Peter F. Paine: ...has a heart for helping and a food pantry that is available for anyone, in any of the communities we serve, to provide food for a family that is without.

Well, you still have a food service rep in Waukegan, but Norfolk no longer does. Ed chased Jon Beckom away.

Peter F. Paine: ...with a minister's college that has 200 ministers ready, willing, and able to go at a moment's notice to meet any needs that our Senior Pastors or Fellowship Leaders have.

PUH-LEEZE! Are we still recycling the great phallacy of Lloyd Ray Davis? This was all part of his once-great *eunuchship* program. The minister's college is a flop, and after two years only two students are enrolled. Where are you going find 200 men gullible enough nowadays? The news is online and on the street, and the sheeple are waking up!

Peter F. Paine: ...where we need to build more schools in Haiti because we have sponsors waiting for children, instead of children waiting for sponsors.
...where our brothers and sisters in Sri Lanka can attend every conference because we have the funds to bring them, and where the Director of Foreign Missions is able to travel with family to visit Japan, Haiti, and every foreign mission on a regular basis regardless of the cost of airfare.

Yeah, right. When was the last time Ed went to Sri Lanka? Put some action behind your words! What about all the cuts to foreign missions? This sounds like double talk, and God have mercy on you if you leave the saints in Haiti and Sri Lanka stranded because you only care about your image! You and Ed are jealous because the churches there were doing better spiritually than the stateside ones.

Peter F. Paine: ...where our vision of the future is brighter than our memories of the past.

Simple. Come clean about the sin that was allowed in the camp and replace the corrupt leadership with men of integrity. Then the future will be brighter.

Peter F. Paine: ...that will be among the first to be called when the community we serve has a need and where the congregation is more interested in the heart of a servant than the talent of a leader.

Leadership by example, Pete. If the congregation see you willing to actually get your hands dirty, they may believe you and listen.

Peter F. Paine: ...where the Spanish-speaking services fill our sanctuaries, and we need multiple weekend worship services for the non-English speaking in our communities.

Had you not kicked Les Ross out of the church, you would already have this in place. Les had a good rapport with the Mexicans in Waukegan and North Chicago, and was a fluent interpreter. You got mad because he chose to go to the Holy Land on his own accord vice give his paycheck to you.

Peter F. Paine: ...where the youth are always better represented in numbers than those of us that are paving the way.

Give them more youth leaders who actually live for God and are willing to make the sacrifice for the youth, and the kids will listen. I would not trust some of the current oldheads whose names appear on the transcripts. Kids are turned off by hypocrisy, and that is why CFCMI loses almost every teen in their congregations.

Peter F. Paine: ...where people of every walk of life are at home and where a CEO can worship next to a recovering alcoholic and the only person it stands out to is a visitor.

Does this mean you would make Jack Dory sit next to a wino who walks into the sanctuary? Naaaaahhhhhh! You spend too much time kissing up to Jack and other big-wigs to actually mean this comment.

Peter F. Paine: ...where we are consistently more interested in exercising forgiveness than finding fault - where the addict seeks to find a better high - where the homosexual comes to know a better love -where the perverted can find peace and a fresh start in Christ.

All good and fine, but you need to teach that once you become a NEW CREATURE in Christ, the old lifestyle must be discarded! Lloyd remained a sodomite, and did not clean up his act. Even if he had cleaned up his act, Lloyd will still be accountable for his actions even though Jesus forgave...one reaps what one sows.

Peter F. Paine: ...where we are known by the name of Jesus Christ rather than the name of those who preach here.

As long as you hold on to your polluted version of Lloyd's life, and deify him before the church, your membership will always be known by the name of Lloyd Ray Davis, pastor and pervert. I cannot tell you how often I was confronted onboard the ships about this fact; I am sickened to know his image still adorns the church walls. If you want to hang pictures, do it in your office as a personal memory - he is family to you; but more and more people do not want to be reminded of the tainted legacy.

Peter F. Paine: This is the church I want to be a part of - the church I want to lead. However, if you don't embrace those dreams, they will never become a reality. They will remain dreams. If you are a Christian, let us work together to not only see this vision, but to be the church God has called us to be.

If you want to see others embrace the dreams, you need to repent and acknowledge that the ministry neds an overhaul from the neck up. Show concrete evidence that the building funds are not being diverted to other interests. Support foreign misions and promote their growth instead of cutting funds. Encourage others to atcually contribute and take charge of their own ministries. Be the example. Then others will help in realizing the visions.

Note: I originally posted this on ABC in 2005. Not much has changed since then.

[turningjapanese]

Hmmmm......

I think you should have put this in the "CFCMI is a Crock of BS" thread.

Although, it is fairly interesting to note that Pete's blatherings haven't changed much.

Jack Dory and a wino??!! That would be cool to see!

[John Cady]

Hmmmm......

I think you should have put this in the "CFCMI is a Crock of BS" thread. Although, it is fairly interesting to note that Pete's blatherings haven't changed much.

Jack Dory and a wino??!! That would be cool to see!
Maybe so, but since everyone was using this article, I wanted to include the rest of Pete's drivel along with my commentary.

[turningjapanese]

I was just kidding!!!!!!

I'm sure my wry sense of humor doesn't come across very well sometimes in these posts, but I meant no offense.

After all, it doesn't matter which thread you read, CFCMI will always show itself to be a crock. Especially when you analyze their own self-centered ramblings and vague assertions. I honestly think Pete missed his calling; he should have been in used car sales.

Peace,
TJ

[bramble]

Hmmmm......

I think you should have put this in the "CFCMI is a Crock of BS" thread.

Although, it is fairly interesting to note that Pete's blatherings haven't changed much.

Jack Dory and a wino??!! That would be cool to see!

Call me thick, but who is Jack Dory? I'm guessing he is a Chicago personality and not a fish.

[turningjapanese]

Jack is head of that Amway/Quixar MLM scam.

I'm sure he's mentioned on these boards somewheres...

He teaches you how to smooth-talk your friends and neighbors into buying over-priced crap to line your own pockets, and how to "recruit" them into doing the same, so "you" move "up" the ladder.

So, I guess he could be a fish. A bottom feeding catfish or maybe one of those parasites that attach themselves to sharks.

[bramble]

Jack is head of that Amway/Quixar MLM scam.

I'm sure he's mentioned on these boards somewheres...

He teaches you how to smooth-talk your friends and neighbors into buying over-priced crap to line your own pockets, and how to "recruit" them into doing the same, so "you" move "up" the ladder.

So, I guess he could be a fish. A bottom feeding catfish or maybe one of those parasites that attach themselves to sharks.

Oh you mean a LAMPREY!!! They resemble a garden hose with teeth and strike terror into the hearts of the most seasoned of fishermen!! Just looking at a picture of one of them is enough to give me nightmares for a week!!

I met a QUIXTAR guy at church once. They're an oily lot. Even in church you have to be careful!

[turningjapanese]

Yup. Ya gotta be careful in church. Cause Pete was "suckering" the congregation, just like LR was suck....oh, never mind.

Let's just say Quixar sucks. I think Dan was big into that too. (Quixar and sucking, although I can't say for myself.)

oh, man...i need some sleep! LOL!

[turningjapanese]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
A Primer on Narcissism and the
Destructive Group Leader’s Personality

By Sam Vaknin PhD

Narcissism (n.sing.)

A pattern of traits and behaviors which signify infatuation and obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others, and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance and ambition.

“Pathological narcissism is a ubiquitous phenomenon because every human being, regardless of the nature of his society and culture, develops healthy narcissism early in life. Healthy narcissism is rendered pathological by abuse, and abuse, sadly, is a universal human behavior. By “abuse” we mean any refusal to acknowledge the emerging boundaries of the individual.
There are malignant narcissists among subsistence farmers in Africa, nomads in the Sinai desert, day laborers in east Europe, and intellectuals and socialites in Manhattan and London. Malignant narcissism is all pervasive and independent of culture and society.” (Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited, Sam Vaknin, PhD.

What is NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)?

The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD, 301.81) has been recognized as a separate mental health disorder since the third edition of the Diagnostic and statistics Manual (DSM), 1980.
It is described as an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy. It usually begins by early adulthood and is present in various contexts. Five (or more) of the following criteria must be met (all quotes from Dr. Sam Vaknin’s Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited):

1. Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements);

“The narcissist is prone to magical thinking. He thinks about himself in terms of ‘being chosen’ or of ‘having a destiny.’ ...He believes that his life is of such momentous importance, that it is micro-managed by God. ...In short, narcissism and religion go well together, because religion allows the narcissist to feel unique.”

“God is everything the narcissist ever wants to be: omniscient, omnipresent, admired, much discussed, and awe inspiring. God is the narcissist’s wet dream, his ultimate grandiose fantasy.”

2. Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion;

“The narcissist is haunted by the feeling that he is possessed of a mission, of a destiny, that he is a part of fate, of history. He is convinced that his uniqueness is purposeful, that he is meant to lead, chart new ways, to innovate to modernize, to reform, to set precedents, to create. Every act is significant, every writing of momentous consequences, every thought of revolutionary caliber. He feels part of a grand design, a world plan and the frame of affiliation, the group, of which he is a member, must be commensurately grand.”

3. Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions);

“The narcissist despises the very people who sustain his Ego boundaries and functions. He cannot respect people so expressly and clearly inferior to him, yet he can never associate with evidently on his level or superior to him, the risk of narcissistic injury in such associations being too great.”

Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation – or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (Narcissistic Supply);

“A common error is to think that ‘narcissistic supply’ consists only of admiration, adulation and positive feedback. Actually, being feared, or derided is also supply. The main element is ATTENTION.”

“He feeds of other people, who hurl back at him an image that he projects to them. This is their sole function in his world: to reflect, to admire, to applaud, to detest – in a word, to assure that he exists.”

“In short: the group must magnify the narcissist, echo and amplify his life, his views, his knowledge, his history...”

Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favorable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations;

“He considers his very existence as sufficiently nourishing and sustaining (of others). He feels entitled to the best others can offer without investing in maintaining relationships or in catering to the well being of his ‘suppliers.’

Is “interpersonally exploitative”, i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends;

“He will not hesitate to put people’s lives or fortunes at risk. He will preserve his sense of infallibility in the face of his mistakes and misjudgments by distorting the facts, by evoking mitigating or attenuating circumstances, by repressing the memories, or simply lying.”

Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others;

“But the narcissist does not care. Unable to empathize, he does not fully experience the outcomes of his deeds and decisions. For him, humans are dispensable, rechargeable, reusable. They are there to fulfill a function: to supply him with Narcissistic Supply (adoration, admiration, approval, affirmation, etc.) They do not have an existence apart from the carrying out of their duty.”

Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her;

“First there is pathological envy. The narcissist is constantly envious of other people: their successes, their property, their character, their education, their children, their ideas, the fact that they can feel, their good mood, their past, their present, their spouses, their mistresses or lovers, their location.”

Arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted.

“That which has cosmic implications calls for cosmic reactions. A person with an inflated sense of self-import, reacts in an exaggerated manner to threats, greatly inflated by his imagination and by the application of his personal myth.”

“Narcissists live in a state of constant rage, repressed aggression, envy and hatred. They firmly believe that everyone is like them. As a result, they are paranoid, suspicious, scared and erratic.”

Conclusion:

“NPD is a pernicious, vile and tortuous disease, which affects not only the narcissist. It affects and forever changes people who are in daily contact with the narcissist.”

“Sooner, or later, everyone around the narcissist is bound to become his victim. People are sucked, voluntarily or involuntarily, into the turbulence that constitutes his life, into the black hole that is his personality, into the whirlwind, which makes up his interpersonal relationships. Different people are hurt by different aspects of the narcissist’s life and psychological make-up. Some trust him and rely on him, only to be bitterly disappointed. Others love him and discover that he cannot reciprocate. Yet others are forced to live vicariously, through him.”