What Would Bring CFCMI Its Fatal Blow?

[cfcmi]

What Would Bring CFCMI Its Fatal Blow?

There has been a noticeable lack of activity in the CFCMI website of late, especially an almost two-week gap since any new building photos were posted. In the Baptism Celebration page, there were more people baptized in Jesus' name in Waukegan, Washington State, and Hawaii than at the new World Headquarters.

L.R. Davis once said that the ministry as a whole will never be as strong as its homefront; if this is so, then how does one explain what is going on? Now that CFCMI is basically making its last stand in Norfolk, one must wonder what would bring about the final blow to destroy what is left. I have discussed this with friends and fellow CFCMI escapees, and here are a few thoughts. Before I go into this, I will make the disclaimer that I am NOT a prophet, nor am I pronouncing judgment on the organization or its leaders. I am merely offering speculation based on a history of past and current events and behavior.

The Blame Game
Historically, whenever a program at CFCMI is ineffective, the leadership tend to find someone to place the blame, never taking any responsibility upon themselves. Peter F. Paine will use an indirect, "politically correct" approach to root out and replace those whom he feels have hindered the cause of CFCMI; Ed Thomas is by contrast very blunt, and good at finger-pointing. Thomas will already have a plan in place to replace personnel several weeks before it happens, and the final result is never subtle. Case in point: in Norfolk, Thomas replaced kitchen supervisors several times in a manner that appeared sudden and abrupt, yet he planned well ahead. Paine, on the other hand, replaced base outreach leaders in Waukegan by working other people into the position. As a side note, Paine will even use his own children if necessary as his son Adam was included in some of the schemes in Illinois. If attendance and other indicators for church continue to decline, sooner or later the blame game will be played and this time, it could lead to a power struggle between Thomas and Paine, with Thomas winning and performing another church cleansing like he did in 2003.

Power Shift
Ed Thomas is master of his domain in Norfolk. His word is law, and nobody dares to challenge him. Not even Paine, even though he is the General Pastor. Thomas is most likely working his way into the General Pastor spot because Norfolk is his turf, and there have been rumors circulating that he perceives Paine as a weak leader who tries too hard to make everyone happy. If the rumors are true, then Thomas will eventually find some way of having Paine give up his throne or diminish his authority to the point where Paine is merely a figurehead and can easily be thrown under the bus if situations get out of control. The fact that Paine and Thomas are related by marriage to Davis' daughters will not change the possibility an undercurrent of bad blood between the two men exists. If one reads the transcripts of the move to Norfolk, it appears that Thomas actually initiated the move, and Paine went along for the ride; Paine of course made his showboating announcement after Thomas persuaded him to leave Waukegan. The shift in power could also create a division of loyalties among the congregation, and another church split may result.

Money Problems
This could be brought about through different means. A decline in attendance usually equals a decline in giving; a decline in the free labor pool provided through the single men will no doubt bring major drops in finances, and thus the top pastors will not be able to afford their high-rolling lifestyles. The other method would eventually involve the tax people. With enough commentary already out concerning CFCMI, it is only a matter of time before the IRS or the state revenue agencies challenge CFCMI's 501(c) status. If back taxes are owed, church property and assets could be seized and auctioned off to pay off tax debt. In the end, Paine and Thomas would both wind up bankrupt, and be forced to live with their children. Everyone else would pretty much be stranded and scatter.

Scandal
Those of us who attended CFCMI during the L.R. Davis years saw the long-term effects that scandal created. John Cady, in his rejected reform proposal, wisely stated that CFCMI could not afford another scandal as it would bring about a fatal blow to the ministry. In the Abusive Churches message boards (http://abusivechurches.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=172 (http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vYWJ1c2l2ZWNodXJjaGVzLm9yZy9waHBCQjIvdm lld3RvcGljLnBocD90PTE3Mg==)), one woman posted what appeared to be a series of personal letters from Thomas to her. There have been allegations over the years that Thomas had interests in other women in CFCMI; if this was revealed to be true, a possible divorce with the church building and assets being sold to pay alimony could bring a death stroke to the CFCMI organization, plus create a major rift within the families of the leadership.

Would any of these possible scenarios ever happen? I do not know. Are they likely to? I would have to say yes. Regardless of which scenario happens (or one I haven't even thought about or considered), the end result will be the same: CFCMI will crumble to ruins and many people will be left hurt and stranded. We need to be there to help those who have been wounded and betrayed.

[bramble]

I think God is already working on the problem. Sometiimes it is incredibly easy to see God's hand in things.

CFC-Norfolk's grand opening exactly coincides with the FLDS raid in Texas, and other cults have been busted in recent weeks.

You can see from the pictures--glum new guys and oldheads who are just there for photo--ops and too clean to have done any real work. I am truly amazed by all the sad faces in these CFC pictures. Even the children look sad.

The number of baptisms is way down. Within the fellowships they may be led more by God and thus are less cultic due to less pastoral meddling.

Marital problems among pastors--I think there is plenty of evidence of that. Try doing a people-lookup search. They may be just keeping up appearances.

Their Camelot seems to be drying up.

[bramble]

If CFCMI is of God then it can not be stopped no matter what.

If CFCMI is NOT OF GOD then no amount of labor, prayer, or begging for help, money, or new members will keep it going. It is that simple.

[turningjapanese]

In answer to the question,
What would bring CFCMI it's fatal blow..."

Simply, themselves.

[turningjapanese]

They do already blow, BTW.

[John Cady]

One has to look at the website and statistics overall, and it si becoming clear CFCMI's empire is crumbling. Here are the current facts:

- Phase 1 of the building program is at least four months behind schedule.

- Only 28 people have been baptized this year. They may not even reach 50 by year's end.

- No further word has been announced about Valour College or any other outreach or program.

- The fundraiser for Sri Lanka has completely bombed after four months.

- No new updates are coming in from Everett, Japan, Hawaii, Waukegan, or Florida.

- Bruce Wilson still lives in Waukegan.

- Fewer people are moving to Norfolk than originally thought.

- Dan Lantis appears to have relocated to Norfolk. I may be wrong.

- Staff housing in Waukegan is on the market.

- Finally, the pictures never show a service in progress. It's always the building project. Perhaps the congregation has withered worse than the leaders want us to know.

The CFCMI empire is indeed a shell of its former self.

[turningjapanese]

The misogynistic leaders of Paine/Thomas Industries are corrupt, inept, moronic and boring.

Their "new" roach-infested building should have been a tear-down, not "re-habbed" (and I use that term loosely) by a bunch of clueless approval-seeking sailors.

CFC's image-enhancing, insiders-only men's "college" is a farce.

Even their own fundraising scams aren't working anymore.



By the way....

Isn't August about the time when they uphold and worship LR Davis for Founder's Day?

I wonder if they're planning some kind of "PEDOPHILE-PALOOZA" to celebrate...maybe that will generate some interest within the community. Kids and Sailors FREE!

[bramble]

Numbers wise they are even smaller than anyone ever imagined. Eventually the Davis clan will take the money and run. Once you get beyond them and their trusty eunichs not many attend. There have been even more walkouts of late.

The rest of their congregation isn't there, much. I guess they just show up for picnics.

[bramble]

It is interesting to read TJ's post on the new building thread--board wouldn't let me in. The old Glee Club on Belvedere is up for sale. There is no more CFCMI in Waukegan to speak of.

Washington is just a few.

San Diego is 20 or less and meets in a bowling alley, I am told.

Norfolk is the main stronghold. The question is, will Ed and Pete actually continue fixing up this old Boys and Girls Club? Maybe they will continue to demand money for a project that they never intend to complete.

Waukegan had a sanctuary that never got built. Pete and L.R. kept demanding money for it just the same.

In the end, money for building projects just goes down the toilet. I suspect their finances are in much more dire straits than most of their membership knows. It is a lack of cashflow plain and simple that will be their undoing--that and an aging congregation that is slowly walking away.

[turningjapanese]

I wouldn't call Norfolk a "stronghold," LOL! NOT EVEN CLOSE!

That place is a laughable dump! With the smelly gymnasium, moldy locker rooms and GAWD-AWFUL "decorating", that "church" is so offensive it's almost comic.

What a suckhole.

[bramble]

I wouldn't call Norfolk a "stronghold," LOL! NOT EVEN CLOSE!

That place is a laughable dump! With the smelly gymnasium, moldy locker rooms and GAWD-AWFUL "decorating", that "church" is so offensive it's almost comic.

What a suckhole.

I can smell the sweaty basketball players already!! I never thought Church services should be conducted in a gym. It is a bit to early '70's for me. Now all they need is folk guitars and campfire music. Too bad they sold off the organ.

[turningjapanese]

I'm sure there's a lot of organ-playing there!

[bramble]

I'm sure there's a lot of organ-playing there!


SAD but true.

[bramble]

In the end, it will be a lack of money to pay all their real estate mortgages that will do in CFCMI. They will never be able to pay off all of the buildings they have purchased in recent years. They can't afford to renovate, anymore, either.

Even if they sell off all the staff housing, and the old glee club, they still won't be able to make ends meet. Their numbers have dwindled significantly, and continue to shrink.

Even if Ed, Pete, and Dan sold off all their cars and Harleys, it still won't help.

[turningjapanese]

Apparently CFCMI is finally starting to rot away....

With the fellowships closing and the obvious lack of new people willing to finance a cult, I'm betting the only ones supporting the Davis clan are the crazy oldheads from the schizophrenic LR Daze.

Nobody is interested in buying their Quixar brand of Jesus anymore.

They said it themselves: If you're not growing, you're dying. Guess the REAL Jesus has spoken! LOL!

[bramble]

I love that quote, "If you're not growing, you're dying". It is indeed very telling of the fate of their organization. They are liquidating fast. I hope they aren't alluding to another White Night a la Jonestown. More than likely, Ed and Pete will take the money and run. They will default on their mortgage. It's OK. Obama promised to bail out the dead beats.

Oldheads who are left, if they are able bodied, will return home once they realize they are out on the street. Others may stay in Ocean View and live as homeless people. They could actually live outdoors year round, except for this winter. Where is global warming when you need it!

Their quote reminds me of old AA expression. It goes like this, "You have to keep moving like the shark or else you will die." Notice how sharks are always swimming. It sounds sort of stupid in retrospect. I'm guessing there are a lot of guys in CFCMI who have gone through drug treatment and AA.

[turningjapanese]

Jonestown and that ufo cult is creepy.

http://www.zeldman.com/dogs/justdoit.jpg

Why people listen to schizophrenics is beyond me.

[turningjapanese]

Apparently CFCMI is finally starting to rot away....

With the fellowships closing and the obvious lack of new people willing to finance a cult, I'm betting the only ones supporting the Davis clan are the crazy oldheads from the schizophrenic LR Daze.

Nobody is interested in buying their Quixar brand of Jesus anymore.

They said it themselves: If you're not growing, you're dying. Guess the REAL Jesus has spoken! LOL!


Why does CFC continue to promote "world-wide" fellowships on their site???

They have officially pulled the plug on their Washington and Japan branches. They still list Hawaii as a fellowship, but when you click for more information all you see is Deb 'n' Pete's vacation picture. Ft. Lauderdale's site is outdated (abandoned) and Waukegan's link just loops you back to their main site---probably because they are no longer able to recruit from Great Lakes.

Their "world-wide" status is a joke.

Since San Diego is still around, maybe they can claim "bi-coastal" status. Or bi-polar.

[bramble]

Why does CFC continue to promote "world-wide" fellowships on their site???

They have officially pulled the plug on their Washington and Japan branches. They still list Hawaii as a fellowship, but when you click for more information all you see is Deb 'n' Pete's vacation picture. Ft. Lauderdale's site is outdated (abandoned) and Waukegan's link just loops you back to their main site---probably because they are no longer able to recruit from Great Lakes.

Their "world-wide" status is a joke.

Since San Diego is still around, maybe they can claim "bi-coastal" status. Or bi-polar.

I hear San Diego meets in a bowling alley. I think that is a strike against getting more recruits. Didn't you say in an earlier post that Waukegan meets in a fast food restaurant? They used to meet in a pancake house!! Let's not forget the Boys' Club!! LOL!

[bramble]

Notice how they have stopped posting! Are they running out of money that fast?

[bramble]

This thread gets a lot of hits on google. I think one thing that is hurting CFCMI is the economy and the fact that they all are getting older. It would be hard to keep young Church members off the internet, likewise those who use computers and the internet for a living.

It is one thing to ask a 20 year old to help renovate a dumpy store or Boys' Club. Once someone it into his 40's or even 50's it is asking way to much. The fact that so few have ever had any children has hurt them. Some of these Oldheads are old enough to be grandfathers.

In time, I hope these guys will move on once they realize they are 15 years to retirement age and have nothing saved up. They may not even have health insurance. It's time to get rolling.

God is outside of time, so if CFC is of God it will survive. If it is not of God, it will perish. Don't perish along with it.

[turningjapanese]

Many "oldheads" receive services through the VA.

Others are on disability. (physical, or mental, I can only guess.)

Still, many forfeited opportunities to go to college, have successful careers and "normal" lives. (Too busy "sacrificing" so Pete and Ed can drive sportscars.)

Oh, well....the day of disillusionment will come.


Newbs:

Look at the crazy oldheads; and ponder your future......

[onetime]

The fatal blow has already been delivered and CFCMI has received mortal wounds. Ed, Pete—and sadly most of the “old heads”—are among the walking dead. Just a little more time and they will expire as an organization.

[turningjapanese]

I'm going to concur with Onetime that CFCMI's fate has already been sealed, and it is hemorrhaging away.....slowly, slowly....


TO PETE:
Does it hurt when the RAW TRUTH is exposed?

Why don't you come on here and post....and explain what it feels like to be less than the man you pretend to be?

I know you want to. I'll even send you the 2 bucks.

PM me if you want. I promise I won't share what you tell me to the world. Honest.

[onetime]

I'm going to concur with Onetime that CFCMI's fate has already been sealed, and it is hemorrhaging away.....slowly, slowly....

TO PETE:
Does it hurt when the RAW TRUTH is exposed?

Why don't you come on here and post....and explain what it feels like to be less than the man you pretend to be?

I know you want to. I'll even send you the 2 bucks.

PM me if you want. I promise I won't share what you tell me to the world. Honest.

Tell me what you think now that you've been flamed for the past 10 years. I'll spot you the two bucks as well.

I'll keep what you tell me a secret. Promise!

(Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ....)

[thistime]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWjctn6Nmqc

[thistime]

"Sometimes we're afraid people will reject us. But you know that people rejected Jesus Christ, so if you share your heart and people reject you, then they rejected Jesus."

Pete Paine, CFCMI


That pretty much completes a round-robin of invitations, Pete.

Yours included.

Hid-us-up-wid-it!

[thistime]

"Dude, people are already posting on here about the church. It seems to be a hot topic. I think it's already got a thread?"

telemonster
"a CityData.com no-brainer"


My, how perceptive some individuals can be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJBTOC3Mfpk

P.s. Ed Thomas must have borrowed telemonster's hardhat, thus, the injury sustained when that big-azs coconut fell from that tree and...well...now you know the rest of the story...good day!

"Damn churches, anyway! I can relate, telemonster. Hang tough man and smoke one for me. And don't let any gay churches out there in Hampton Roads abuse you or your children!"

sometime

http://www.city-data.com/forum/hampton-roads-area/700732-knowing-half-battle.html

[turningjapanese]

I'm sure Citi-Data will be seeing some occasional CFCMI flare-ups.

They better learn to deal with it.

[turningjapanese]

"Sometimes we're afraid people will reject us. But you know that people rejected Jesus Christ, so if you share your heart and people reject you, then they rejected Jesus."

Pete Paine, CFCMI



WTF kind of logic is this? Cult think, I suppose.

Pete: Apply your logic to yourself. Didn't victims share with you the terrors of LR? And you rejected them in favor of your schizophrenic hillbilly meal-ticket. Therefore, YOU rejected Jesus.

Now you owe me 2 bucks.

[thistime]

"I'd rather meet Jesus by saying, 'Lord, I opened my mouth, but they rejected me,' than by hearing him say, 'Why didn't you open your mouth?'"

Pete Paine, CFCMI


I think it has a little bit to do with what is being uttered when the mouth is open, Pete.

Let's look at a more suitable term for what you'll experience in front of the Lord:


a·gape1

a·gape [ə gáyp]
adv , adj (literary)
1. wide open: opened quite widely
The door to the room was agape.

2. open-mouthed: with the mouth wide open, usually in surprise or wonder

agape (adj)

wide open, open, ajar
astonished, amazed, open-mouthed, agog, surprised, shocked
antonym: unaffected

Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

Notice how it's quite similar, other than pronunciation, to this word.
I'm sure our Lord is well educated enough to understand the difference when you meet him.*

a·ga·pe2

a·ga·pe [aa gpee]
n
1. nonsexual love: love that is wholly selfless and spiritual
2. christianity Christian love: selfless love felt by Christians for their fellow human beings
3. christianity Christian communal meal: a communal meal held by a Christian community, especially in early Christian times, in commemoration of the Last Supper


[Mid-17th century. From Greek agapē “affectionate love.”]

Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

*I wonder if our Lord, desperate for some ordination papers whilst he roamed this earth, sent in his 10 farthings to Universal Life Church, as L.R. did, for his "walking papers".

[thistime]

"Jesus is head of this thread, and he'll remain head of this thread...what do you think, because CityData censored us, because Pete Paine and his mutts came running after us that we're going to pack-up-shop and leave town? We are on the streets of Hampton Roads and we'll be remaining on the streets of Hampton Roads...so boom boom, there you have it!

Pastor Sometime, Church of Sometime


Nice to her from you, Reverend.

(Since they've been censored to the point of having to go underground, lets all keep the poor beleaguered parish in our prayers.)

P.s I miss your inspirational moments, Pastor Sometime, and God bless you.

[bramble]

I think Shock and Awe was a big success. Remember it was just one of many battles.

[thistime]

"I think Shock and Awe was a big success. Remember it was just one of many battles."

bramble




There will always be shock and awe, my brother, otherwise the battle could never be won!

Please remember that!

[onetime]

I think Shock and Awe was a big success. Remember it was just one of many battles.

I measure it by: 1) Number of infarcts of CFCMI leaders; 2) Unexplained accidents (acts of God) involving key CFCMI leadership; 3) CFCMI leaders being hauled away by men in white coats; 4) CFCMI being raided by the IRS; 5) News stories on the corruption of CFCMI and its leaders; 6) People leaving CFCMI in droves and publically speaking out; 7) A nervous breakdown by hardhat Eddie. And so on.

Until things like these happen, this is all just a game.

[thistime]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqxW6E24Jh8

[bramble]

I see from their last sermon that they openly admit to extreme financial problems, moral problems, internal conflict and more. Read for yourselves.

[turningjapanese]

"We cannot have a dysfunctional church, because a dysfunctional church is a dying church."

Duh...you guys just figured that out? CFCMI has always been a dysfunctional sewer! LOL!

From the latest sermon, it sounds like Thomas is trying to motivate the sheeple to be happy with their current crappy situations, while guilt-tripping them for more ca$h.

How about getting some jobs? (no, not bl0w j0bs....) Paine can replace that Billy Mays guy that just infarcted, and do infomercials. He could hock homo-lube or spray-on hair on QVC. Or, they can have another chair and brown cushion sale in the B35913 Field.

Dem yoonicks need to start selling more soap!

I heard the Karcher is for sale....I believe the last owner bought it for a buck. They can sell da BOYZCLUB for 2 million, buy the oozing Karcher for a buck and start all over. It would need to be re-wired, though.

[onetime]

Overall, a cheap canned sermon, Pestor Eddie. I’ll bet it took at least 15 minutes to cut and paste it into your notes. Very inspiring! Makes me want to take up my cross and follow you! Not!

The blessings of God can be like a downpour; extreme and immediate. Sometimes when the downpour comes, you aren't ready for it. How many of you go about each day expecting a blessing? That's the way I want you to live each and every day. - Pestor EddieSometimes the downpour never comes, especially when you spend all of your time living in Death Valley. But then it does happen ever hundred years or so. Hang in there and keep those umbrellas handy!

It's like a father looking at his son flipping burgers at McDonalds might wonder why he spent so much money for medical school. How much did Christ spend for our spiritual education? - Pestor EddieAfter 30-plus years under the Golden Arches (figuratively speaking), how much did Christ waste on you, Eddie? (I’ll have cheese on the burger please.)

If much is given to us, much will be expected to us. - Pestor EddieHell, Eddie—everything’s been given to you! You must have some big-time expectations. So far, falling big-time short.


I asked Dan for some numbers. Before our "coming together", we would receive $20,000 a week in offerings. But now, we've got about $29,000 a week in expenses. Wow! That's a lot of money! It takes money to make a ministry work. But now our collective weekly income is around $13,000. How long do you think that can last? There are things we're not doing in ministry because the funds aren't there. Now, I'm not here to hang you upside down and shake until the money falls out, but have we been robbing God? - Pestor EddieAre you robbing God Eddie? Are you robbing your flock, Pestor Thomas? Maybe if you didn’t siphon all the firstfruits of other people’s labors—maybe you could make ends meet. How much of that $29,000 in expenses every week goes to you? Didn’t you say “don’t worry about where the money goes?” Stop stealing. Stop hiding things. Stop laying guilt on others that they might be robbing God when they’ve given you every goddamn thing you've ever had—and then some.


In Luke 12, Jesus teaches another parable about a rich man who decided to make himself comfortable instead of being rich toward God. - Pestor EddieThat be you, Pestor.

God doesn't need another "club" called Christian Fellowship. - Pestor EddieHe sure as hell doesn’t need you. He would never leave such important work in the hands of such incompetent fools. To think otherwise defies logic which is a characteristic of a sound mind.

My Dad used to like hot-dogs. He got really fancy with them. He sliced them down the middle and stuffed them with Velveeta cheese. He wrapped bacon around them. You know what I'm talking about; he made hot-dogs taste good because we were on a hot-dog budget. But now that I'm not on a hot-dog budget, I don't have to put up with it. - Pestor EddiePssst…Eddie boy…if you got $29,000 a week in expenses and $13,000 weekly income, you should be on a frikken hot-dog budget like yesterday!

We've got to trust positive intentions, swallow our pride, and live with charity. - Pestor EddieNo you don't. This does not apply, of course, to the hundreds of people you have wronged over the years. You simply ignore their plight, assume bad intentions, maintain your pride and tell each other how charitable you really are!

The leadership must answer to God. We don't have to answer to you. The final answer belongs to God. If the leaders have to something that is unpopular because it is righteous or holy or simply the right thing to do, you have a choice. You can be like Absalom and sit outside, or you can trust God and stay inside. - Pestor EddieIt’s simple. You are self-appointed agents of God. You cannot be challenged. They must accept your superior position and status by faith. If they do not, they are simply "Absalom," one of your founder’s favorite Biblical figures to point to when he needed to make the flock feel guilty so as to keep them in line. (Hey, as long as that play keeps working, keep running it.)

How many bedrooms can you sleep in? Then what good is it to have a huge mansion with fifty bedrooms? Don't look at what you don't have. Start living for God now and watch how much better your life gets. - Pestor EddieHow many cars can you drive, thou hypocrite!

I want you to know that taking out time for yourself isn't going to the movies. It's taking out quiet time for prayer. Jesus did it, and I know why. Anyone who has spent time in a leadership position knows how draining it can be. How close can you get to God watching television? God wants you to turn off the TV and the radio. - Pestor EddieYou must have changed your ways (bwaa ha ha ha ha ha) because when I knew you that’s all you and Pam did was watch the TV.

This is boring. Like playing chess with a retard.

[turningjapanese]

"Don't worry about where the money goes...." yet they ask for more?

What A-holes.

I would just stop giving. And when they asked, "hey, where is your offering?" I'd say, "don't worry about it."

Then I would watch the leaders have a spastic fit, and laugh.

Because, God doesn't need any ca$h. He gets everything on credit.

[onetime]

CFCMI has the place just for you! Come on down!

See the Preying Lantis! Watch Ed, Pete, Deb and Pam gain weight before you very eyes! Watch other zombies lift their hands toward the heavens. Don’t miss the passing of the hubcap! You zombies…be born again my friends. Come one and all to the CFCMI church!

Welcome…won’t you sign in stranger?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a846Latux48 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a846Latux48)

[turningjapanese]

Ft. Lauderdale has finally been removed from CFCMI's website. (Hooray for Ft. Lauderdale! Woo-Hoo!) That fellowship has been closed for a while, so it's about time they acknowledged it's "lack" of existence.

The Hawaiian version of CFC is headed up by some new dude. Pete and Deb's island vacation picture has been taken down. Don't know what happened to Carlos Vargas---maybe he got eaten by a shark.

[onetime]

Ft. Lauderdale has finally been removed from CFCMI's website. (Hooray for Ft. Lauderdale! Woo-Hoo!) That fellowship has been closed for a while, so it's about time they acknowledged it's "lack" of existence.

The Hawaiian version of CFC is headed up by some new dude. Pete and Deb's island vacation picture has been taken down. Don't know what happened to Carlos Vargas---maybe he got eaten by a shark.

It will be real cool when we can acknowledge CFCMI’s "lack" of existence. What a party that will be!

When can we start cooling the champagne?

[turningjapanese]

Yeah, it will be real cool when CFC no longer exists. I'm sure God is making sure their descent into that Non-Existence is as S-L-O-W and painful for them as possible. (unlike LR's demise, in which Our Lord obliterated him instantly with a major infarct.)

Waiting for their eventual demise is about as tedious as watching grass grow. Fortunately, I'm a patient person. When I DO hear that CFC has officially "ceased to be," I will be showing up on 006's porch, 12-pack in hand. (need to figure out WHO he is first, though. I'm making him stick to that promise of a party.)

Anyhow, I'll continue to be mildly entertained by the desperate delusional antics of them A$$hole leaders, and their bunch of bleating sheep. How pathetic to believe that one's salvation relies solely on taking a full dip in Jesus' name, and funding luxury cars for a bunch of headcase soap-sellin' "pastors."

[bramble]

Three questions were being discussed recently in CFC Men's group: Possible answers shown in boldface.

1) What gifts has God blessed me with? a mind, free will, and a well formed conscience. I should use them.

2) What things should I stop doing? giving money to: Edward J. Thomas. Peter Paine and Amway/Quixtar, living in group housing on $20 a week, being available at the church when I should be out earning a living, neglecting my family, being a religion addict, neglecting my physical and mental well being, shunning those who aren't in CFCMI, lying to cover up for con men and cheats who are, defending a dead child molestor.

3) What things will make CFCMI better? How can a cult be fixed? Ed said recently that he and Pete answer to God alone. Someone with that poor of an attitude is not interested in fixing problems. Sometimes walking out or disbanding are the only options. If the pastors had outside jobs, that would really help---ain't gonna happen!!!

[turningjapanese]

Filling out index cards in "Bible Studies" is archaic and weird. Paine is so condescending; it sounds like he's lecturing a bunch of fourth-graders. I think these "studies" are just a way to corral the nutcases on Wednesday nites.

On Sunday, Ulysse preached about lying. Now, unless he's directing that specifically at Paine and Thomas for their ongoing cover-ups and BS, I didn't see much usefulness in it. Their sermons are completely off-the-wall and depressing.

That pathetic cult is REALLY spiralling down the toilet. I bet by next year it will be closed.

CFCMI is be nothing more than a grouphome for zombies and ailing screwballs.

[bramble]

God loves us as we are. It is not about what we bring to the table. Sure we can use our talents to praise God. God is perfect. His love is perfect. He is love itself. Even a disabled person in a wheelchair is loved. It isn't about what we can do for God. No amount of human work can make anything succeed. I think of all the civilizations that have come and gone. No amount of worry or brainstorming on index cards, no amount of work, no amount of being available to Ed and Pete, can add another minute to our lives or to CFCMI's existence. It cannot make something last if God doesn't want it to last. God alone takes care of us. He doesn't need CFCMI to do that, either!

Leaving CFC is not leaving God. It is not breaking vows, either. CFC vows aren't real vows, as most of them are coerced.

If celibacy is so cool, then why are almost all CFC pastors married? I think only one isn't married. He isn't celibate, either. :eek:

[onetime]

The Dodo was a flightless bird that was too stupid to survive or adapt, so it became extinct. CFCMI is like the present day Dodo bird. It will become extinct soon. Want to see one of the last ones that will later be stuffed and placed into a museum? (No, it's not the Pink Panther.)

http://glmilitaryfellowship.org/events/StateFair/IMG_0826.JPG (http://glmilitaryfellowship.org/events/StateFair/IMG_0826.JPG)

Unconfirmed reports suggest that it was a combination of stupidity and syphilis that wiped out the Dodo.

Hey little Edwina and limp Peter (so says loving wife Diamond Deb)…explain that to your maker!

[turningjapanese]

After seeing some of those pics, I thought "Pastor Ray" rounded up a bunch of "special needs" dudes and took them on a field-trip....Does CFCMI have one of those short buses....?

Wait!!! They do, because I saw Wilson driving it, NO LIE!

[turningjapanese]

The Dodo was a flightless bird that was too stupid to survive or adapt, so it became extinct. CFCMI is like the present day Dodo bird. It will become extinct soon. Want to see one of the last ones that will later be stuffed and placed into a museum? (No, it's not the Pink Panther.)

http://glmilitaryfellowship.org/events/StateFair/IMG_0826.JPG (http://glmilitaryfellowship.org/events/StateFair/IMG_0826.JPG)

Unconfirmed reports suggest that it was a combination of stupidity and syphilis that wiped out the Dodo.

Hey little Edwina and limp Peter (so says loving wife Diamond Deb)…explain that to your maker!


Upon further research, I've learned some amazing facts about the Dodo bird:

Named for the Dutch translation of "knotted a$$", the Dodo was actually related to the pigeon. It was an ugly and stupid bird that would easily become prey to other animals. Sailors reported the meat tasted bad. Dodos had a tendency to overeat, and were extremely clumsy and moved in an ungainly fashion. They did not reproduce very well. People didn't even notice the Dodo had become extinct until about a hundred years after they disappeared.

I see a correlation here....

[onetime]

Upon further research, I've learned some amazing facts about the Dodo bird:

Named for the Dutch translation of "knotted a$$", the Dodo was actually related to the pigeon. It was an ugly and stupid bird that would easily become prey to other animals. Sailors reported the meat tasted bad. Dodos had a tendency to overeat, and were extremely clumsy and moved in an ungainly fashion. They did not reproduce very well. People didn't even notice the Dodo had become extinct until about a hundred years after they disappeared.

I see a correlation here....

Correlation noted.

The Largest Jesus Name Ministry of knotted asses in the world* now has its perfect mascot. Like the Dodo bird, CFCMI men do not reproduce very well. Remember: reproduction is a penis-vagina thing, not a penis-colon thing. If that’s not clear, then talk to Filthy Dick Brand and he’ll happily demonstrate this on you (as long as you furnish the Vaseline).

If Edwina J Thomas is reincarnated, it will be as a Dodo. An ugly, stupid creature that’s clumsy and overeats (I’m not talking about Pam here, but then I sure as hell could be), the Dodo is the appropriate vessel for Edwina to continue his wretched existence.

The Dodo is also the perfect bird to adorn Edwina’s monument (something tells me it will be sh+t brown in color). That day is rapidly approaching.

How’s your health, Edwina?

* Thus sayeth the Lord!

[onetime]

CFCMI can cross France off the list of possible places to relocate the next time they announce “Jesus has spoken!”

It seems France has convicted the Church of Scientology of fraud and fined it the euro equivalent of about $900,000.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091027/ap_on_re_eu/eu_france_scientology (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091027/ap_on_re_eu/eu_france_scientology)

The investigating judge spent years examining the group and criticized the Scientologists' "obsession" with financial gain and practices he said were aimed at plunging members into a "state of subjection."

Similarities anyone?

Hey judge, why don’t you come over to the States and continue your work here? Compared to the Scientology case, it should be relatively easy to convince a US court of law that CFCMI is “obsessed” with financial gain and keeping its members in a “state of subjection.”

As easy as taking candy from a baby.

[turningjapanese]

The Dodo was a flightless bird that was too stupid to survive or adapt, so it became extinct. CFCMI is like the present day Dodo bird. It will become extinct soon. Want to see one of the last ones that will later be stuffed and placed into a museum? (No, it's not the Pink Panther.)

http://glmilitaryfellowship.org/events/StateFair/IMG_0826.JPG (http://glmilitaryfellowship.org/events/StateFair/IMG_0826.JPG)

Unconfirmed reports suggest that it was a combination of stupidity and syphilis that wiped out the Dodo.

Hey little Edwina and limp Peter (so says loving wife Diamond Deb)…explain that to your maker!

What happened to those six people that were in the Washington Fellowship? It's no longer listed on CFC's main site. I'm guessing that branch rotted off the CFCMI tree too.

Hawaii will be next; then San Diego, considering a nutcase runs the show and never updates their website.

Slowly, slowly......CFCMI is dwindling away......((yawn))

Even their own congregation is depressing.

Pete and Ed: When are youz guyz gonna put your tired old mess out of it's misery?

(You still look like a$$holes each week, btw.)