Cfcmi Leadership: Read This.

[turningjapanese]

I am donating to your building fund.

Expect my box of nails to arrive at your new location this week.


Use one to hang a framed oil painting of L.R. DAVIS in your new foyer; preferably in plain view of the main doors. Do this proudly...remember, you are exhalting a convicted child molester as your founding bishop.


Use the rest to nail yourselves to the wall.

[John Cady]

I wonder if an eviction notice could be donated...

[turningjapanese]

Since you so-called leaders like to solicit for donations, here is a link to Hallmark:

http://pressroom.hallmark.com/Company

Maybe they can send you a few hundred boxes of "I'm Sorry" cards...you have a lot of apologizing to do...


I thought that since it was required that your followers (even children) write letters of "support" to a convicted child sex-offender in jail, you could write some letters of your own.

[bramble]

Consider building a granite monument depicting floor cushions, paper towels, lotion bottles. It should say, "L. R. Davis, Founding Pester, 1935-1999" and the quote, "What if I was to pester ya?"

Those new members need to know the truth about the sordid heritage of Christian Fellowship Church. You Oldheads need to develop some integrity and gumption and stop defending leaderships' lies. The Bible says God does not look kindly on lying even to protect corrupt pastors.

[turningjapanese]

I hope the neighborhood dogs enjoy taking a crap on the newly-named grounds....

that's about all it's good for.

[T.J.]

You guys need to know that those Quixar "How to be a Leader" DVDs aren't working.

You all should have learned that you can't talk your way out of something you behaved yourself into.

Nobody believes your rhetoric anymore, and CFC remains a pathetic cliche.

[bramble]

Hey Ed and Pete:

With your own version of a liturgical year CFCMI is truly transparent and worldly. It is comprised of your man-made traditions to further your own cause--like bringing in more money and more members.

The day after Thanksgiving CFCMI starts celebrating Christmas--JUST LIKE DEPARTMENT STORES. Is there no season of preparation?

December 26, the Christmas trees are gone and so is Christmas--JUST LIKE THE DEPARTMENT STORES. Gotta clearance it!

New Year's is done up like a dance, except only the pastors and their families have dates. Bewildered Eunichs don't even know why they are there when they could making up a few 'Z's--except someone ordered them to come. (guess who?)

In January, stewardship is always preached about, and how one should not hold out on Church contributions. CFCMI rightfully claims even tax refunds, and EITC's. :rolleyes: I don't think God looks kindly on those who rip off poor people--so beware!!

Easter comes around sometime in the springtime. There is no such thing as Lent. I guess, y'all want the crown, but not the cross. That explains why you all live so high above your flock!

In August, there is always Founding Pastor's Day!! Forgiveness is always preached going into this event in the hopes that the Old Eunichs will forget about how LR abused them. The newbies haven't a clue as is true for all new CFCMI members who stay. Your abuse continues where Father-in- Law's left off.

The only flaw is that you go and name a field after LR Davis whom all your Oldheads scorn. I doubt even Hazel liked him very much!! People of that generation didn't divorce. They just suffer silently. Why keep rubbing salt into old wounds? HOW CRUEL!

The way you worship your father-in-law one could easily accuse you of idolatry. In America, a preoccupation with owning worldly things is is the most common form of idolatry. There are others.

[T.J.]

Too bad those those oldheads wasted their money supporting that skanky family.

Let's hope 2009 will bring about some REAL "revelations."

[T.J.]

"Being a leader is like being a lady; if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't." - -- Margaret Thatcher

(and obviously you guys need to promote yourselves as such. BTW: You look like idiots in that "Superman" get-up you wore for your own Pastor Appreciation Party.)

FYI: The "REAL Superman" wouldn't let kids be molested under his nose.

[turningjapanese]

"Leaders":

Got a question for ya:

WHY are you soliciting for donations for this?

"During 2009, we hope to unveil a Military Communication Center in which families can connect with their loved ones overseas via video-on-demand, video-conferencing, and texting networks."

Historically, CFCMI has discouraged/restricted the communications between the members and their families. Many times, the men were "forbidden" to return home during leaves; even at Christmas, or during family emergencies. This was done so they can be "available" to wash the pastors' cars or do other meaningless chores for "church". (maintain control over members)

Suddenly, you are now interested in "providing" communications between enlisted men and their families? This doesn't make any sense, considering marriage is discouraged and babies are called "demonic distractions."

Please clarify your logic, if there is any.

If this "mission" is SOOOooo important, you'd cut your own "pastoral" vacation budget. Besides, most military guys have access to this service already; no sense in asking them to foot the bill twice just to make yourselves look good.

Looking forward to your 2cents!

[turningjapanese]

This message is specifically for Dan and Bruce.....

Do you realize that you guys have been "serving" a bunch of Froot Loops?

I mean, you're "employed" by a bunch of A-holes (which works, because you are A-holes yourselves, but I digress.....)

You relocate because of some ding-bat "prophesy"....

Now, THINK----when the sh*t hits the fan, don't you guys realize you'll be the first ones on the chopping block when CFCMI "officially" goes down the toilet? Do you really TRUST your "brothers" with your secrets???


Dan---Is Norfolk REALLY nicer than California??? Does Ed really trust YOU with the financials; or is he setting you up to take the fall when CFCMI gets audited?

Bruce---Don't you think Chicago has a better gay community than Norfolk?

Q: Where will you guys be when THEY throw you under the bus?
A: You'll be under the bus! Cause NOBODY is gonna hire EITHER of you to do anything, except maybe dish out fries at McD's.

[onetime]

This message is specifically for Dan and Bruce.....
Now, THINK----

I don’t know either of you two pieces of excrement, and I’m the better for it.

I respectfully disagree with my friend TJ. I want you to keep doing what you are doing. Don’t think (this should be f*cking easy for you two losers). You have your reward (LR’s waiting for you…). Hell is never full.

You friggin losers.

Have a gay day.

[turningjapanese]

Maybe you guys should plan a "fellowship outing" to the clinic.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/STDFact-Syphilis.htm

Follow the leader, eh, Dan?

[onetime]

Maybe you guys should plan a "fellowship outing" to the clinic.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/STDFact-Syphilis.htm

Follow the leader, eh, Dan?

The dude pictured in the link kinda looks like a guy eLRay did once.

Like your "fellowship outing" idea. Could be a wonderful team building event for the church men and women.

You know, it just might be a good time to buy stock in companies that make and sell penicillin. Could be a run on it soon.

[turningjapanese]

The dude pictured in the link kinda looks like a guy eLRay did once.

Did Hazel know he liked dark meat?

[onetime]

Did Hazel know he liked dark meat?

Oh, of course. Why do you think she never lived with him? Actually, he was an equal opportunity lover of meats of all colors. As long as it was he meat and not she meat.

[turningjapanese]

"I grow very weary of people who always talk about how broke they are, about how little they have."

"Before our "coming together", we would receive $20,000 a week in offerings. But now, we've got about $29,000 a week in expenses.... But now our collective weekly income is around $13,000. How long do you think that can last? There are things we're not doing in ministry because the funds aren't there."

"Contentment is a vital blessing in life. Don't look at what you don't have."


Leaders:

$13 grand per week would go FAR in HAITI. Why don't you send it all there and stop begging for Ca$h??

If you were such good "stewards" yourselves, you wouldn't be going broke. Take your own advice and stop *ITCHING about money. Get jobs or sell more soap yourselves.

Dan as a CFO? Guess you need "someone" to throw under the bus when the IRS shows up!

[turningjapanese]

Pete asks:
"Do you see your ministry increasing, or do you see your ministry on the decline?"

(TJ raises hand) "Declining, for sure. CFCMI sucks."

**Blows spitwad at Chancellor Paine's head**

http://media.photobucket.com/image/scumbag/monkeyluvrr17/scumbag.jpg?o=36

[onetime]

Pete asks:
"Do you see your ministry increasing, or do you see your ministry on the decline?"

(TJ raises hand) "Declining, for sure. CFCMI sucks."

**Blows spitwad at Chancellor Paine's head**

http://media.photobucket.com/image/scumbag/monkeyluvrr17/scumbag.jpg?o=36

Here’s a scene from a recent CFCMI church meeting after onetime joins TJ to incite a spitball fight on the premises. Reports indicated that Peter Pan and Edwina found no humor in the fun little diversion, but then, they have no common sense either.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQXqiM8GeA4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQXqiM8GeA4)

**Ready, aim, shoot - - - - -> splat!**

Ooops…sorry Pam…I was aiming at Edwina.

PS: CFCMI sucks a big one! Bwaa ha ha ha ha ha....

[turningjapanese]

DEAR CFCMI LEADERSHIP:

I RECEIVED THIS FACTNET PM FROM POOR STELLA. SHE WANTS TO GIVE ME MONEY. SINCE I DON'T NEED ANY, I THOUGHT YOU GUYS MIGHT WANT IT. GIVE LANTIS THIS INFO; I THINK YOU SHOULD DO THIS RIGHT AWAY!

(PS: DON'T FORGET TO LIST HER IN YOUR 'PRAYER REQUEST' SECTION....I SENT HER YOUR EMAIL ADDY JUST IN CASE!)



From Mrs stella fatou

Dear in Christ,
May our good Lord bless you,and see you through your going out and your coming in through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

I am Mrs stella fatou, Origin of Kuwait, I am married to late Mr Patrick fatou who worked with Kuwait embassy here in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died.

We were married for years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the bible is against. When my late husband was alive he fixed the sum of $2.8 Million (Two million eight hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) in a general trust account with a Bank here in Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire West Africa, Recently, following my ill health my doctor recomended that I may not be able for the next Eight months due to my cancer attack.

He said that there are going to be a spread of this cancer to my bones and that may be the end, the one that disturbs me most is my stroke affecting my sight. Having known my condition i decided to donate these fund to a Christian, Individual, and Organization or church that i know may need it and that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in according to the desire of my late husband before his death.
Presently, this fund is still on fixed with the Bank. I want this fund to be used in liberation work Activities like, help to Pastors families, Orphanages, and Christian schools, and up keeping of the Churches and for propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be lavished by unbelievers. I dont want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision.

The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that gives am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 vs. 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I dont need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health when i try to speak it leads to a serious coughing out blood. With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the procedures on hot to contact the bank for you to negotiate with them directly for onward transfer. I will also issue you an authority letter that will prove you as the present beneficiary of my funds. I want you and your family to always pray for me but the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth.
Please, always be prayerful all through your life, Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein,

Hoping to receive your mail, remain blessed in the Lord,

YOurs in Christ,
Mrs stella fatou.
fatou_stella@rocketmail.com

[turningjapanese]

Q: What kind of Real Estate Agent, (who lists his own house), can't even sell it and lets his properties fall into foreclosure?

A: An extremely incompetent one.

[onetime]

Q: What kind of Real Estate Agent, (who lists his own house), can't even sell it and lets his properties fall into foreclosure?

A: An extremely incompetent one.

A2: A dodo bird (genus davisthomaspaine).

I bagged this one in south Waukegan!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e1/Dodo_1.JPG/582px-Dodo_1.JPG (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e1/Dodo_1.JPG/582px-Dodo_1.JPG)

The new CFCMI mascot!

With CFCMI, it’s the same old song, always being remixed as something new.

Let’s see, there’s...

Edwina (“I can’t leave because of my wife”) Tommyrot, aka crybaby sociopath
Peter (“I can’t believe I ate the whole thing and it shows”) Painintheass
Filthy Dick (“I’ll do him, LR!”) Brand whose wife Barbie is so very proud of him!
Preying Dan Lantis, renowned motivational speaker, successful network marketer and general bullsh*t peddler (“Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling…)
Professor Richard (“I got my PhD working at Foulds”) Snowflake
Jim Otto who, in a span of just 30 years, has acquired over 25% of the world supply of Valium
Pammy (“I don’t get it”) Tommyrot who married so young she never finished High School (still working on the GED?)
Deb (“Linda Lovelace has nothing on me”) Painintheass
And finally Hazelnut (“Silence is Golden”) Davis…the Virgin Mother of CFCMI.
Yes, these old retreads are still around, trying to freshen up their dead, stale message by creating ever new formulations but failing miserably!

What will be the next “the Lord has spoken” announcement? Will it be that everyone is to move into Ed’s house because of the budget? Maybe it will be the relocation to a third world country…hmmm?

We are all breathlessly waiting for the next proclamation from on high!

[onetime]

Lest we forget…

Bruce (“I can suck you off”) Wilson (no further comments on “suckers” like you!).

Pastor Hubert ("Please don't ship me back to Haiti, massa, I'll say anything you want") Ulysee. psssssst...we won’t ship you back there. How about the better side of the island—the Dominican Republic?

(Thanks, TJ!)

[turningjapanese]

Lest we forget…

Bruce (“I can suck you off”) Wilson (no further comments on “suckers” like you!).

Speaking of sucking, here is the latest BS from Bruce's 10/2 Bible Study:

Examples: what does that do to our heart, our psyche, our attitude? It encourages us. You can be that encouragement for somebody at work tomorrow.

The power of example:

Tienamen Square: A little scrawny Asian kid stood in front of a tank. One person, in front of a whole line of tanks. Did it affect you? It affected the whole world, whether they understood what was going on or not.
Nelson Mandela: An incredible story of perseverance.
Sullivan the pilot: The pilot who did a safe water landing and saved 166 people.
Martin Luther King: A lifetime of example.
Pastor Davis: When I got saved, the way he used to handle the streets, and the poeple on the streets. He wasn't afraid of anyone.



So, Bruce puts LR in the same catagory as Mandela and Martin Luther King??? Come on!!!
And just because he was able to "handle the streets" doesn't prove squat. My 80-year-old Grammy handled the streets of the West Side just fine too....that doesn't mean sh*t.

Psychopaths aren't afraid of other people. That is why they can do what they do and get away with their crimes against humanity. They lack internal controls, and feel external morals and codes of conduct do not apply to them.

So, in catagorizing, I would say that Bruce C*cksucker got it all wrong. LR Davis belongs with Wayne Bent, Tony Alamo, Josef Fritzl, Philip Garrido, Gacy, Dahmer, and all the other pedophiliac rapists that have been "on the streets."

I find amazing that CFCMI leadership continues to exhalt a convicted felon that sodomized HUNDREDS of men, while preaching about setting a good "CHRISTIAN EXAMPLE"!!

It's disgusting and repulsive. Like you, Bruce.

[onetime]

Speaking of sucking, here is the latest BS from Bruce's 10/2 Bible Study...

Pastor Davis: When I got saved, the way he used to handle the streets, and the poeple on the streets. He wasn't afraid of anyone....



“When I got saved.”

Hey master of fellatio...WTF does that mean? You are “saved” all right—saved for Satan and his minions. Your beloved “Pastor” Davis is keeping a seat “warm” for you down there. You’ll join him soon enough. I’ll bet he’d like to pester ya.

“He wasn’t afraid of anyone.”

ROTFL!!!! That fat, perverted son of a bitch was one of the BIGGEST cowards I’ve ever seen! He once ran from me and hid in his office. After I left Satan’s Church (aka CFCMI), Lard Ass never made eye contact with me anytime I was in his presence, including when I testified against him in 1992. All Perverto did was look down and squirm.

Just like you would, Bruce!

[onetime]

There’s still time to get out from under Pigeon Rock!

"Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." — Elie WieselSpeak out! Whose side are you on, anyway?

(A rhetorical question.)

[bramble]

She's an ostrich.

[turningjapanese]

...heard Deb's a Butterball....

[onetime]

You guys used to report the number of people you baptized as a measure of how you were growing. After all, the more people you baptize, the more likely that your claim to become “The Largest Jesus Name Ministry in the World” will be realized. According to you, God has spoken this, so it has to happen, right?

So why ain’tcha reportin’ those numbers, hmmm? Is it maybe because you ain’t getting anyone wet?

Here’s an idea to improve those numbers and have a little fun in the process. [Note to CFCMI inmates: God does permit fun as long as it gets prior approval from Ed and Pete.] You’ll see the concept here in this short video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk0CEgvwivs&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk0CEgvwivs&feature=related)

This approach covers a lot of bases.

First, if you use the right equipment and select the proper water level, the dunkees are totally immersed. If it’s important to have someone in the tank touching the immersed, you can have a dude standing in the tank ready to place hands and say whatever the hell they need to say to make everything kosher.

Second, it’s a fun way to achieve your goals. Think about it. You hold a church party and invite your member prospects. You have your dunk tank set up amongst all the other things you have set up in the gym. When you do your sales pitch to the poor little strays (sheep without a shepherd), you mention how fun baptism really is! In fact, you can charge to have others throw the balls to try to dunk the new converts.

Third, it would be a good team building event for the brethren as well. Substitute some "man flesh" for the girl in the video and you are onto something here that could bring the CFCMI men together, if you know what I mean (wink, wink, nod, nod).

As an option, in the summer months you could stage the event at the L.R. Davis Field Memorial Field. Just caution everyone not to step in any dogsh:t.

Yes, you baptize more people, you have fun, you raise some extra cash, and you promote manly fellowship!

Pure genius!

[turningjapanese]

All this reminds me of a bash I hosted during my college years....

Ya'll want some $$; LISTEN UP, cause TJ raked it in with the following:

*Bikini B*tches on Big Wheels

*2-story Beer Bong

*Smuckers Slip-n-slide

*Puke-n-Toss Frisbee

Now, I'm no "Wealth Intelligence Coach" like soap-selling Preying Lantis, but I did manage to pay 2 months rent (including utilities) with profit$ from my party.

You are welcome to use any of my ideas. If you hold your bash during Gay Pride Week, I bet you will be happy with the result$. Don't forget the the rainbow flag.

[bramble]

What they are using is a physical therapy tub--barley big enough for an immersion baptism. It is really tacky looking. Check out their photos. CFC Waukegan actually used a fish tank--the kind you might find at a lobster pound or aquarium. There was that old picture of this old guy (LR maybe) in fishing waders and a young man standing in the fish tank--rotfl

A real baptismal pool is: permanent, reverent, and beautiful. The shapes vary--octagonal is a traditional shape. They look sort of like wading pools or reflecting pools. They are large enough for the minister and the baptismal candidate to both stand in--12-15 feet in diameter.

Their swimming pool is still broken. If it weren't, they would have posted some pool party pictures--most likely pastors and their families prancing in bikinis. :eek: I doubt the regular members would ever get access if it worked.

[bramble]

TJ, I did see the picture you were referring to. It looks like a Super 8, which have gotten a lot more pricey; their quality is still mediocre. Their pools are still unheated. Considering that even babies use those pools, how could they be used for baptism? :confused:

[turningjapanese]

Using a lobster tank to indoctrinate new victims into their Pentecostal ghetto church is completely bizarre. But so was LR and his man-wh0res.

[thistime]

He's Back!



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> boo <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[onetime]

He's Back!



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> boo <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Well lookee here…nice to have you back!

It’s been same old, same old here, so in a way, you really haven’t missed a whole lot other than the fun of pointing out the ugly truth about a corrupt, fraudulent, dumbfcuk organization masquerading as a church.

Start pointing!

[onetime]

Using a lobster tank to indoctrinate new victims into their Pentecostal ghetto church is completely bizarre. But so was LR and his man-wh0res.

It’s CFCMI’s version of waterboarding.

[turningjapanese]

Because of this thread, I've had that song "Rock Lobster" stuck in my head....

[thistime]

What Edweena and Peepee would say if they really preached what was on their minds.

"Religion is a lot like a fart. You don't mind smelling your own but you don't like smelling anybody elses!"

[thistime]

"...heard Deb's a Butterball...."

TJ


I can vouch to the fact she's been Deep Basted many times.

[bramble]

"Gimme, Gimme, Gimme" I hear it is a real CFC Hymn--How pathetic, and transparent.

BTW: Welcome Thistime!

[onetime]

"Gimme, Gimme, Gimme" I hear it is a real CFC Hymn--How pathetic, and transparent.

I don’t know the words or the music to CFCMI’s “Gimme Gimme” hymn, but I’m sure it sucks a big one. I have a suggestion for an improved, more accurate rendition based on the 1969 hit single “Gimme, Gimme Good Lovin’” by Crazy Elephant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt5P58tif-M (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt5P58tif-M)

Gimme, Gimme Your Money

From the land of Virginia – to the Great Lakes water
To the San Diego bay – we’re gonna hustle you both night and day

Saying, gimme, gimme your money – every night
Hey you know it's alright sailor boy
Gimme, gimme your money – make it alright
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

To the boys in Florida – to the boys in the Northwest
To the boys in Honolulu land you gotta understand
You’re on our list to be scammed

Saying, gimme, gimme your money – every night
Yeh you know it's alright sailor boy
Gimme, gimme your money – make it alright
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

(Substitute the girls on the video for boys and you have a CFCMI orgy in the making.)

[bramble]

"Sometimes church gets in the way of praising God."

I think some of our CFC friends are beginning listen to The Holy Spirit and are listening less to their leadership. Another house cleaning (additional walkouts) to follow. Just wait and see.

They are learning that GOD DOES NOT EQUAL ED AND PETE. Ed and Pete are just men, and flawed ones at that.

[turningjapanese]

Ed and Pete are just men, and flawed ones at that.

They are cowardly nutjobs who vehemently defend their "Christian" beliefs at the cost of reality.

[bramble]

The chickens deleted the post that criticized CFCMI.

[turningjapanese]

Nutjobs re-write history to benefit themselves.

Just like cropping people out of photos; and taking credit for their accomplishments.