| Author | Message | ||
     las9atlantic (las9atlantic) New member Username: las9atlantic Post Number: 1 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 209.113.176.138 |
I am a 26 year old white male from a pretty conservative family. For the past 3 months I have been dating a half black girl that is 6 years older than me. I need to tell my parents about her, but do not know how they will react. Any advise??? | ||
| warr (warr) New member Username: warr Post Number: 1 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 69.128.222.206 |
You call your parents conservative-but you did not say racist-so be a big boy tell them your dating and what happens happens if you have feelings for this girl then they should outweigh what your parents think!! I mean it could be worse you could be telling them your GAY So go ahead see how they reaact-just be sure to let me know what they say-or you could use the old adage-i have a friend whose dating a 1/2 black woman what do you think about that mom and dad.warr | ||
| am2 (am2) New member Username: am2 Post Number: 8 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 137.3.122.49 |
If your parents really love and concern for you, they will be acepting. | ||
| queenlucy05 (queenlucy05) New member Username: queenlucy05 Post Number: 6 Registered: 11-2005 Posted From: 68.77.152.9 |
I am assuming that at 26 you already know they are not accepting of interracial relationships. I would start off by telling them of all the great quatities she bears. Tell them about all of the things they have in common. Tell them that you really like her and are thinking about getting more serious than just friends. Then tell them that the only thing holding you back is the knowledge that they might not accept her. When they say that would never happen tell them that one of her parents is black. If they go crazy on you then you know that you will have more work ahead of you before you bring her over. And I do hope you have the courage to tell her about your parents reaction, and then give her the option of leaving the relationship. It would not be fair to expect her to stay in a relationship that will have so much turmoil in it before it even really gets started. If she chooses of her own free will that is different. But don't expect her to do it just for you. | ||
| t_katt (t_katt) New member Username: t_katt Post Number: 25 Registered: 11-2005 Posted From: 12.16.33.89 |
I'd let them catch the two of you having sex with her on their kitchen table. That would break the ice pretty quick. | ||
| ks__author (ks__author) New member Username: ks__author Post Number: 3 Registered: 12-2005 Posted From: 205.237.146.79 |
You are twenty six years old and a adult. If your family doesn't understand about relationships, then they never will. Remind them you are a adult and can make your own decisons. I didn't think twenty six year old men even care what their families thought... | ||
| forthelamb (forthelamb) New member Username: forthelamb Post Number: 5 Registered: 1-2006 Posted From: 64.136.27.226 |
They're right. At 26 your relationships are your decision. If your parents don't like it, that's tough. Clearly you love and respect your parents, which is commendable, but are they deserving of your respect when you are so doubtful as to how they would accept someone so important to you? | ||
| pkshace (pkshace) New member Username: pkshace Post Number: 5 Registered: 2-2006 Posted From: 68.146.130.154 |
las9atlantic: communicate with your parents. There's more sense of peace and enlightenment when things are discussed and all sides are heard. Assure your parents that you have heard them. Then, let them know that you can take responsibility for your decisions and stood by it. | ||
| notdeceived (notdeceived) New member Username: notdeceived Post Number: 16 Registered: 2-2006 Posted From: 209.215.39.49 |
las9atlantic: It seems as though you already know you are going to cause big trouble in your family. You have more to consider than yourself when you act on feelings. Maybe or maybe not the relationship will go anywhere since 26 is still young minded for a male particularly. Think for a while, is there a hurry and where is the presure coming from that you have to go tell them NOW? You need to think about it this way for a while and not be hasty. If you think you may spend a lifetime with this girl, then there is NO hurry either yet since you have will be having a lifetime with her possibly. You may or may not believe in the bible; but, one a the 10 commandments say "Honor your mother and father that it may be well with you and you will have a long life on the earth". Think ratiionally and do not haste I repeat do not haste. If your getting pressure about hurry hurry hurry you HAVE to tell them NOW, then that is definetly wrong. You better wait and think this over for a while. I am older and wiser than I used to be and have found that hurrying usually causes bigtime stumbles and troubles. You will eventually know when the time is right because you will have "peace" in your heart about it. Until then chill. | ||
| tvchica New member Username: tvchica Post Number: 1 Registered: 12-2006 Posted From: 64.173.255.7 |
las9atlantic: Are you still facing this issue? If so, I would love to talk with you. I am currently working on a new show for a major network and we are looking for people just like you who are facing important decisions such as this. It's not about making judgements or telling you what to do but just an attempt to get an understanding of young people dealing with family when it comes to major decisions in their lives. If you are interested, please email me at castingwowfactor@yahoo.com and I can give you more details. | ||
| fullofquestions Intermediate Member Username: fullofquestions Post Number: 110 Registered: 1-2007 Posted From: 70.57.32.25 |
Just tell them she has a good tan. | ||
| funnygeorge New member Username: funnygeorge Post Number: 12 Registered: 1-2007 Posted From: 12.12.8.254 |
haha fullofquestions but we should consider this thread, why would parents have an adverse reaction to their son dating an African-American. As far as I know, racism as a trend died out in the 70's. Go ahead and tell them. If they are decent people, they will accept her for who she is, not what race she is | ||
| graniteca New member Username: graniteca Post Number: 1 Registered: 1-2007 Posted From: 216.93.194.240 |
las9atlantic: When my brother first told my parents he was getting married to a Khosa woman and moving to South Africa, they were very emotional about it. But, after they met her, it all changed. We don't see color any longer. Just the person. Have them watch the movie "Not My Country" with Samuel Jackson. It may help. |
