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fatherofaking
New member
Username: fatherofaking
Post Number: 10
Registered: 12-2007
Posted From: 71.255.151.176
| | Posted on Friday, January 04, 2008 - 11:57 am: | 
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why is it so difficult for people to let go once they leave?
i think for me it was the fear of damnation.
i have the fear of judgment in me just like everyone else.
remember when you were a child and you did something that you knew was wrong?
you knew it was just a matter of time before the wrath of your parents would come down on you.
remember when you got caught doing something wrong by some other adult, what you would say?
"please don't tell my parents, i won't do it again i promise"
remember?
that fear of judgment does not leave us as adults.
it is still there.
why is it still there?
is there some reason for it?
some would say it is because there is a wrathful god just ready to punish every wrong thing we do.
is that really what you think of god?
i would say it is simply a cause and effect relationship with ourselves and our environment.
something that is needed for our survival.
many of us feel this judgment when leaving the TT.
we went there thinking we were doing the right thing.
we are being obedient to the gospel (god).
then we left!
talk about guilt!
how could we have ever done anything worse in our life?
we disobeyed god.
we deserve to be punished in the worst way. |
fatherofaking
New member
Username: fatherofaking
Post Number: 11
Registered: 12-2007
Posted From: 71.255.151.176
| | Posted on Friday, January 04, 2008 - 12:00 pm: |
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i would like to explore this relationship with our parents for a moment.
here is what i think should happen in a healthy parent/child relationship.
a child does something wrong.
the parent recognizes that their child has done something that could potentially harm themselves or others, clearly correction is necessary for the child"s sake.
what should the parent do?
should they tell them that they are doomed to a life time of failure, or express to the child the need to repent and then forgive them?
i think the latter is the most appropriate.
if it is a repeat offense there may be some discipline needed but the forgiveness should always accompany this once the child accepts this discipline, whatever it may be, already knowing before committing the offense what the discipline will be.
now lets explore the relationship to the TT.
you leave, you are eternally damned.
there is no exception.
there is no one to tell us that we made a mistake and then forgive us but ourselves.
the question that i wrestled with, and i think all of us who have left wrestle with, is, should we go back?
here is what i had to come to grips with in answering that question.
why did i "really" go there?
once i answered that question i could then answer the question of whether i needed to go back.
i think we all need to answer that question for ourselves.
if the reason for going was truly altruistic in nature then we probably would not have left in the first place.
the only reason for giving up on something that you "really" thought was the right thing to do is that it just was not meeting the original purpose of doing it any longer.
i went there because i thought it was what i needed to do to be obedient to god.
what i have since realized is that i really went there because i could not come to grips with my own sense of failure.
i won't go into the reasons for how i got to that point.
obedience to god is something we can achieve here and now.
it starts with repentance, moves to forgiveness and ends with gratitude.
we have the power to do all of these things for ourselves do we not?
if we can forgive others why not ourselves?
do we need something external like a group of people to do it for us?
this messageboard is full of people just like those that come to the TT section.
they all either thought, or still think that they need someone else to forgive them.
the power is within ourselves to heal ourselves.
we can have the same joy that we looked for in the TT here and now.
humbly accepting ourselves for who we are is the beginning.
if you accept that there is a god then understand that god is a god of forgiveness not one of wrath.
if you no longer accept that there is a god then accept who you are the good the bad and the ugly.
stand on your own two feet and change the things that you want to change.
either way it is up to us. |
nabashalam
New member
Username: nabashalam
Post Number: 10
Registered: 12-2007
Posted From: 68.190.117.25
| | Posted on Friday, January 04, 2008 - 2:11 pm: |
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Freud and Jung both at one time thought we created our image of "God" from our fathers...
http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/mylittleroom/7737.html
I realized that I had done that. My father was a workaholic who you hid from when he was at home. He did the disciplining and didnt want to be bothered due to him always being tired and wanting some peace and quiet. The good thing is that he is now a different man. He is retired and the most loving Grandfather and Great grandfather you could imagine and my "God" has taken on this persona also...
I now realize I went to the Tribes to pay penance for the pain I had caused, the fear of going to hell and the regret for what I had done with my chance at life...
But who am I to question a forgiving "God" and not forgive myself?
Yes I fall short but I forgive myself as my God does and try to do better everyday.
Karma is real! "You will reap what you sew!"
Ever notice that how you treat people in your life today is the single, biggest factor in determining how people in your life tomorrow, even totally different people, will treat you?
It always works! |
lets_be_real
New member
Username: lets_be_real
Post Number: 4
Registered: 9-2007
Posted From: 71.98.157.3
| | Posted on Friday, January 04, 2008 - 8:09 pm: |
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My heart was to serve the God of heaven and the time I was there every morning I woke up and totally earnestly and consciencly surrendered my life. I poured everything I had on the body. There was a judgement posted in the communicator stating how much natural strength I had. How I had learned to buffet my body and make it my slave long before I met the body. So it was said that once the spiritual test came concerning my wife leaving that I failed the test and joined my wife in death like Adam had done with Eve. I don't feel guilty for leaving. With out going into details I agree with what foak said in that it was not meeting the original purpose. If it being judged that I was just in the flesh and them having the power of the Holy Spirit, then it's very sad the standard that many of them keep. But I do have compassion for there lack of understanding and the lack of being able to judge what was truly in my heart. Amazing to me. |
fatherofaking
New member
Username: fatherofaking
Post Number: 14
Registered: 12-2007
Posted From: 71.255.151.176
| | Posted on Friday, January 04, 2008 - 8:30 pm: |
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it was not just you LBR.
it amazed me the ones that i saw rejected and the ones i saw accepted.
i am glad to hear this from someone else.
it seemed the ones who were genuine were the ones who always left, or were asked to leave for one reason or another.
it is as it should be it seems. |
intransition
Member
Username: intransition
Post Number: 55
Registered: 1-2005
Posted From: 24.159.240.232
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 09, 2008 - 6:37 pm: |
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I too was sincere. It is hard to face the truth and not know where to from here. The love we sought to learn turned out to be an illusion.
LBR - If you are who I think you are, have your wife contact mine - I left you my email address in another thread. MY wife and I have not had one of our so called friends contact us after leaving the TT - at least not to listen to our pain and confusion. |
fatherofaking
New member
Username: fatherofaking
Post Number: 22
Registered: 12-2007
Posted From: 71.255.151.176
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 09, 2008 - 7:16 pm: |
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I too was sincere. It is hard to face the truth and not know where to from here.
your pain is felt by all of us.
it is possible to get through it though.
do not give up the hope that brought you to the TT.
it is possible to serve christ anywhere. |
