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charger
New member
Username: charger
Post Number: 13
Registered: 12-2007
Posted From: 71.38.28.127
| | Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 12:32 am: | 
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I have been thinking over some of the more crazy and LOL stuff I have heard in church, school and Graham over the years, How about putting on this post only those things that you have heard in church class whatever that make you smile.
I've got some to start.
Practical Theology. (Looking back, not much practical in that class that I can remeber, Maybe I need to go find those notes, Where are they anyway?)
If you will not dry off inbetween your toes, there are other things that you will not do for God.(I am lauging right now.)
Once I was leading a service and said let everything that has breasts praise the Lord. OOPS!
I know another brother that said while preaching you go and cry your balls out. He meant you go and cry your eyes out.
How about another Practical theology beauty, Never walking out the door without a belt! WOW.
Have you ever seen some self righteous preacher make his wife stand up and tell all of the ladies, "This is what a Christian woman looks like." You must be kiding right? |
sevailha
Intermediate Member
Username: sevailha
Post Number: 109
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 63.231.47.133
| | Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 12:48 am: |
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when rev davis shares that snake handling story of that guy that said
sic-em-on-si pass him on by |
imaskingwhy
Member
Username: imaskingwhy
Post Number: 99
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 216.40.83.170
| | Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 3:12 am: |
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alost 25 years ago this same phenomenon was in place. Brother Stevens was quoating a scripture and said
"God breathed the breath of nostrils into his life" |
victorjohanson
Senior Member
Username: victorjohanson
Post Number: 1436
Registered: 9-2005
Posted From: 216.67.46.179
| | Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 4:27 am: |
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"God breathed the breath of nostrils into his life"
I heard another brother (I think it was Alvin something, but it wasn't Stevens; this guy was black) say almost the same thing:
"God breathed into his breath the nostrils of life."
I remember also hearing LD Jones closing a message with "bow your eyes and close your heads." It cracked RW up so much he could hardly give the altar call.
And I heard of a brother saying "I was in a bind...in fact, I was in a CONCUBIND!"
When the old chapel was opened to the public, Kekel had a bible study for new Christians and one lady asked him "Pastor, who were the Genitals?" He said it took all his strength not to totally lose his composure. |
charger
New member
Username: charger
Post Number: 14
Registered: 12-2007
Posted From: 71.38.28.127
| | Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 9:45 am: |
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This reminded me of another one of my own. I was preaching a message about the finger of God. As I was giving the alter call I asked the question with great robust, So what wil you do when God gives you the finger. OOPS!. I did not mean it like that.
How about the preacher that was preaching about giving to missions. He wass talking about making pledges and how he had uped his so "up yours." |
ctyankee
Intermediate Member
Username: ctyankee
Post Number: 189
Registered: 4-2007
Posted From: 75.165.117.185
| | Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 12:59 pm: |
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I was sitting in a practical theology class once, and it was quiet as Rev. Olsen taught, when suddenly the brother sitting next to me blew his nose very loudly. Rev. Olsen almost fainted! The class cracked up.
The brother who was in a "concubine" was Tony Grey (from the Savannah servicemen's home). He once said to me, "Wouldn't it be great to be "mortared" for Christ?" I responded by yelling, "Incoming!"
Another Tony gem-- "I need to save my money. Rev. Olsen said I need to save for the inedible". |
victorjohanson
Senior Member
Username: victorjohanson
Post Number: 1440
Registered: 9-2005
Posted From: 216.67.56.15
| | Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 5:26 pm: |
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One time I was preaching in the living room of a mobile home in North Pole where we were pioneering a servicemen's home, and a sip of water went down the wrong pipe; I barely had time to turn my head before forcefully spewing it into the kitchen.
It was hard to concentrate after that. |
imaskingwhy
Intermediate Member
Username: imaskingwhy
Post Number: 101
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 216.40.83.166
| | Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 10:00 pm: |
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After my vescectomy at age 19 (cuz I wanted to do something for God?) I was talking to RW about the procedure and made reference to "tenticales" as opposed to testicles and RWD and co laughed so hard I never finished the conversation. The sad part was I didn't know what the hec they were laughing at.
BDH |
granite
Intermediate Member
Username: granite
Post Number: 212
Registered: 4-2006
Posted From: 72.24.207.240
| | Posted on Monday, December 24, 2007 - 1:11 pm: |
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The one about creation reminds me of hearing Evang. David Nunn preaching on Gen. 1:2: "And the earth was without form and void..." Clearly under a heavy anointing, he very seriously said, 'The earth was without form -- So God gave it some form! The earth was without void -- So God gave it some void!' 
(Message edited by granite on December 24, 2007) |
charger
New member
Username: charger
Post Number: 22
Registered: 12-2007
Posted From: 71.38.28.127
| | Posted on Monday, December 24, 2007 - 2:31 pm: |
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Forgive me for the spelling here, But how about this one.
Shadrack, meshack and one bad negro. LOL!!! |