| Author | Message | ||
     2003grad New member Username: 2003grad Post Number: 1 Registered: 10-2007 Posted From: 64.26.169.113 |
I'm not sure how to start this, so I guess I will dive right in and start with some background about who I am. My name is Zoe and I went to Grenville from 1998-2003. I didn't always enjoy my time there. I am not a christian, I haven't been baptised, I pushed the rules as much as I could get away with, and I was an Army Cadet (which it took them 3 years to accept). I thought some of the rules were absolutely ridiculous. I had a boyfriend for two of the years I was there and I constantly got a hard time about it because the staff there knew we were dating, but they never caught us 'at it' so to speak. I did get put on D once because he hugged me in the hallway the day my grandfather died because I was crying. It was only for 2 days tho. I was put on D two other times during my five years there, both for smoking. Bob Phelan was the headmaster my first year there. After an attempted suicide by a friend of mine (he jumped from the third floor fire escape of the main building) and a bomb threat sent by a student on Valentine's Day because he didn't want to take a test, and amid other rumours which it is not my place to state publically, Mr. Phelan left about three quarters of the way thru the year and Mr. Ken MacNeil took over as headmaster. Mr. MacNeil was/is a wonderful man. He was always around, stopping people in the hallways and asking them how they were doing. He was always willing to help and he would go out of his way to do so. My last year, they brought in Dave Dargie which none of us were happy about (at least no one I knew). Dargie sat in his office all day and we never saw him except, occasionally, at meals. I was very upset that I had to recieve my diploma from Dargie instead of Mr. MacNeil. Father F, while no longer headmaster during my time, was still a very prominent and influencial presence at Grenville. During my second and third years, I went thru severe mental problems, eventually being diagnosed with MDD. My parents couldn't afford for me to see a professional counsellor during these years, so FF acted as my counsellor. I was alone with him once a week for 1-2 hrs for two years and never did he do or say anything inappropriate to me. He remained a close friend after I graduated and I would speak to him at least once a month. While I was at Grenville, while I didn't always have the time of my life, I never experienced anything I would consider even close to abuse. I look back at the school and my time there very fondly and see how much it helped me to become who I am today. Everytime I go back I see staff members who genuinely care. Ok, so now you all know a little about who I am, now I guess is the time to move on to why I am here. Well, I have actually been around since the first article came out in the Globe and Mail. I have been reading every single post. I told myself I would wait until after the closing weekend to actually post if I decided to. I am actually surprised that my application for membership was approved. I thought that since my username clearly stated that I was a recent grad, that I would be labelled as a troublemaker and not approved for membership. I am glad that I was. I am also quite sure that I will be 'yelled' at here. That I will be told I am accusing or belittling. Basically that I will have my head bitten off. I want to make one thing very clear... I am not here to insult, invalidate, accuse, belittle, or demean anyone. If my posts ever come across as any of these things, I can assure you that they are not meant to sound that way. I am here merely to try and seek out some answers. | ||
| 2003grad New member Username: 2003grad Post Number: 2 Registered: 10-2007 Posted From: 64.26.169.113 |
When I saw the first article in the Globe, I was indignant. I read it and thought 'there's no way this is true, I never heard any of this'. My first reaction was to call FF. I called him on my lunch break and I asked him if there was any shred of truth in this article. He said no. He laughed along with me about how absurd it was. Then I saw the apology from Mrs. Childs. I emailed Mr. Childs and I asked him if it was true. After recieving an email back from him, I was forced to believe that this might, after all, be true. And that a man I had respected and trusted for 9 years had lied to my face. When I saw the R&T article where FF stated that no student had called him to confront him about the allegations, I was SO mad. I called him... I confronted him. And he lied to me. I have been doing as much researching into Grenville and these allegations and the CofJ as I can. When I was at Grenville, I knew what the CofJ was, I knew where they were located, I knew the staff went on retreats there, and I knew they had influence at the school, but that's where it stopped. I have been reading all the articles, talking to as many people as I can and trying to find out whatever I can. I have been left very confused, upset, and sad. Several things have happened to me since this story broke. First, I have had friends and family, some that I haven't spoken to in years, calling me up and asking me if I was abused. Then when I say no, they give me this pitying look like I just can't admit it. I work in a law office and the lawyers have been talking about the case and how they would love to take it on, and when they find out I was there, they jump at me as if hoping for some gory details and a case. I hate it. People are treating me like an abuse victim and I'm not. Second, I have been forced to try and accept the fact that some of the people I spent five years around, the people I considered my family... that helped me and guided me... are not who I thought they were. FF, a man I respected and admired and trusted, lied to me. If he had said to me, 'yes it happened, it was wrong, I'm sorry for it', I would have lost no respect for him. That's what I got from Mr. and Mrs. Childs and I haven't lost respect for them. But he lied to me. I trusted him and he lied. I had asked him to officiate at my wedding next year. There are two conflicting sides of me right now. There is the one side that works in the law and says that no criminal activity should go unpunished. That if abuse occurred and it is proven in a court of law, then those responsible should be punished. I very much believe in innocent until proven guilty tho, so I do have a problem with people being labelled as criminals before they have been convicted in a court of law. But abuse should not be ignored. If it occurred, then it needs to be addressed. (continued below) | ||
| 2003grad New member Username: 2003grad Post Number: 3 Registered: 10-2007 Posted From: 64.26.169.113 |
Then there is the other part of me, I guess you could say the emotional part, that says whatever happened in the past, the school, at least from the time I went there in 1998, was a good place... full of staff who cared about the kids, teachers who pushed us to academic excellance, and principles that, while we didn't like them at the time, generally helped us in the long haul. This part says that, while people need to be punished if abuse did occur, why does it have to be done publically? Why does the reputation of the school have to be trashed when they had such a good reputation. A pillar of the community, excellent academics, etc. Why is it necessary to label every single person who ever went there as a damaged victim of abuse? This is what will happen, it is happening to us already. People look at me differently when they hear that I went there. My friend too, they are getting the same thing. Or to label all the staff who ever taught there as people who participated in a cult. I know that certainly in my last years, the majority of my teachers and dorm staff had come from 'outside', they had no idea what the CofJ was and crtainly had no affiliation to it. Yet they can't put Grenville on their resumes now because no one is going to want to hire someone associated with a place accused of child abuse and being a cult. These two sides of me are wrestling with each other and I don't know which side is going to win. While, like I said at the beginning of this, I am sure I am going to be attacked for this, I felt I needed to post this. Needed to get it off my chest somewhere. So I have had my say now. You all know who I am now and what I think, so go ahead, rip on me all you want. But if any of you don't feel the need to rip a strip off me, I would really appreciate some help understanding and coming to terms with this. It is hard for us recent grads too that knew nothing about this. I shall end the small novel here. Thanks to anyone who read the whole thing. Zoe (1998-2003) | ||
| mandatoryfun New member Username: mandatoryfun Post Number: 19 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 99.231.191.202 |
Ha ha, 2003grad, I think you're too hard on yourself. Great post! It's my feeling that most people here are too measured and insightful to rip on you for trying to work this all out in your mind. It's not an anti- vs pro-GCC thing, so don't worry, okay? Since I was at the school before you, I'm still a little bit too mad to have a lot of ready sympathy for people who were there well after and may have to deal with a label. It's not fair to them, certainly, but I'm still too angry at what my contemporaries had to go through, and I believe that the cult label is a professional issue that can be overcome with some reasonable effort, though talk is cheap, eh? Your story wasn't too long for me. Feel free to keep going! | ||
| pandersen Member Username: pandersen Post Number: 94 Registered: 5-2006 Posted From: 24.87.143.158 |
Zoe, I don't think anyone here is going to be attacking you for what you shared. What you wrote was respectful, heartfelt and sincere. Thank you for taking the risk to share your point of view. It is understandable that someone like yourself would be shocked to learn of the allegations of abuse at GCC, since you never experienced this. For decades apparently, therse things were going on and nothing was ever done about it. It took dream_truth's courage and openness to get people to come together and open up by starting this topic on FactNet. The alleged perpetrators of the abuse should not be surprised that this has come into the open. This is what it took to get the attention of the authorities, both civil and ecclesial, since prior journalistic investigations were apparently squelched by high-powered law firms. Yes, it is unfair for those who were unaware and who didn't support what went on. That is always the case when terrible things happen in any society, small or large. There is a sense of corporate guilt, or at least of corporate shame about what happened. I saw this all the time living in post-war Germany. People were ashamed to be German. Some said they knew nothing about what was happening to the Jews. Many people knew, and were afraid for their own lives and those of their families. Maybe there are parallels here as well. I understand that having GCC on your résumé after all the negative Internet and media attention could be an embarrassment. Potential employers who have intelligence and integrity would not hold this against an innocent alumnus/a. Thank you again for what you wrote, and how you wrote it. I really think this forum can be open to those who experienced different sides of GCC without the discussion degenerating to the acrimony and sarcasm we have seen here of late. | ||
| late_lights Junior Member Username: late_lights Post Number: 37 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 192.197.178.2 |
Zoe, While I left GCC a few years before you started, our feelings on almost everything you've posted are identical. I understand how frustrating it can be when friends treat you with "kid gloves" because you've been linked to a "cult". I also echo your feelings of doubt regarding what might have happend, and how people you admire and respect could possibly be involved. The only understanding I'm able to offer you, is the knowledge that you aren't alone... | ||
| cryfreedom Intermediate Member Username: cryfreedom Post Number: 170 Registered: 6-2006 Posted From: 24.226.27.60 |
Thankyou Zoe for sharing your story and your conflicting emotions over all of this. We are all struggling in various ways. I lived at GCC from 1969-1985, so I saw ALOT over the years. We all had different experiences at GCC and hopefully we can share and support each other on this board. Welcome! Dawn Vickery(Robertson) | ||
| breaker_19_girl Intermediate Member Username: breaker_19_girl Post Number: 280 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 64.187.49.46 |
Hi Zoe, My gosh you silly thing, that was so honest to read and devestating too. I can only imagine how you feel. I have posted to such so many times on the Facebook GCC page. I myself would be horrified and conflicted and giving my own head a shake should I be in your boots... I can only imagine what it would feel like to have something you cared about tainted like that. I can imagine the looks and pity you get too... people never seem to understand things.... I have posted much about my expereinces at GCC and worked very hard to get the truth exposed. But, I can also share that it pains me too that so many might be struggling right now that were not the perpetrators, people who clearly gave their lives to educate and follow what they thought was Gods plan. They too must feel horrified and sickend and I think about that alot. I think many of us who share "the dark past" stories feel badly too. I am not so sure how to help anyone especially somebody in your boat, as cliche as it is... I pray for you all. I think people like late lights who's post was clearly heartfelt to you can hopefully be a support to you as well. I just saw a real sensitive side to latelights with that post. I think we are all struggling and all searching all confused right now. I think we all have seen both sides too... those of us who have negativity to express. I think we all just are searching ... if that makes sense at all. I hope we all get out answers.... But, thank you for sharing and asking and being sensitive and mature. Thank you for admitting you too are confused and I wuld sense a wee bit overwhelmed. I believe that is something we can all share equally and hopefully support one another on. Nobody would hurt you for such a wonderful thought filled and gut wrenching post..... P/S.... thank you late lights for reaching out to help.... Liane Ross..... | ||
| kate_skinner New member Username: kate_skinner Post Number: 21 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 142.240.200.10 |
2003Grad; Welcome! I can certainly appreciate how hard it must have been to make your first post. Do not fear; as mandatory said, most of us only seek understanding and some peace. I was sorry to hear that FF didn't come clean with you, but apparently he's in deep denial and trying to protect his reputation. Any admittance of culpability on his part, would only open him to possible legal action. It's rotten to have someone you looked up to during your formative years turn out to be "smaller than life". I guess that's part of growing up. It doesn't make it any easier though. Reading between the lines, I am sensing that you are feeling a strong sense of betrayal right now. You are trying to reconcile what you have been reading and your call to FF with what you remember of your time there...DOES NOT COMPUTE...DATA INPUT ERROR...LOGIC ERROR. There are cetainly ethical questions which we are all dealing with concerning the pulic nature of this forum (and the papers). I hope you understand that this is not a personal thing. There is no desire to harm the people who came after. You are just another unintended casualty in this battle. You are not alone. Go back and read some of the posts. There are a few that probably date to your time. Perhaps they can be more helpful. Don't get me wrong, you are welcome here and you belong here but most of us can't really empathise with you. I am sure that the site will support you in any way it can. Keep writing, eventually the conflict within you will be resolved. Tell your nosey colleagues to MYOB. Kate | ||
| dignityquest Junior Member Username: dignityquest Post Number: 46 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 38.116.200.40 |
Zoe: I echo all that has been said. On another thread "Guidlines for Discussion" I made some suggestions for how we might talk together from different lenses. Your post could be used as a "model" for these guidlines. As for your wresteling. As I'm sure has been noted, GCC was a very different place over the last 10 - 15 years (or so). Many of us left long before the changes. Even within the "darker" time, their was a broad range of experiences. For many, as you have stated, the lack of honensty and admission is perhaps the most difficult thing to deal with. I was a student and a staff member over a 13 year period. While I certainly can't bear witness to all that has been posted, most is certainly within the scope and practices that I both saw, and in some cases, participated in. I can only say that FF's denials are just not reasonable. I'm glad that your time with him was positive and no one would want to take that from you. Regards, DQ (Jeff) | ||
| tmw Member Username: tmw Post Number: 74 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 70.48.53.21 |
Zoe I certainly can respect that you have had a different experience than some others posting here. Your post was not inflammatory, nor was it disrespectful in any way. I would hope that nobody would "attack" you or "rip a stip off you" for that. I think the key for all on this forum is to keep an open mind, post thoughts and feelings in a respectful, non-accusatory manner, and avoid seditious postings. | ||
| strength Member Username: strength Post Number: 92 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 69.156.2.152 |
I agree too. Everyone is trying to understand a very difficult situation. And everyone has to follow their own hearts as to the best way of making a positive impact. This variety of responses in totally normal. When something traumatic happens different people react differently. Even individual people can have conflicting responses within themselves, or totally different responses at different times. To me Zoe, your posting is filled with grief. And likewise, perhaps most of us on Factnet are in some form of grief. Grief at the loss of a piece of our childhood. Grief at the closing of a school that many of us loved dearly. Grief at the loss of innocence. Grief at the dissolution of relationships. Grief over the pain and suffering that others are going through. Grief as to how others now see us. Most of us have probably heard about the "Stages of Grief" Model, which helps people to see that their reactions are normal. We all flip around within these stages at various times, but its a journey towards a place of acceptance that things will work out. 1. Denial; "It can't be true." 2. Anger; "This is not fair!" 3. Bargaining: "Maybe if I just stop talking about it, everything will return to normal." 4. Depression: "I'm sad for the people who are hurting." 5. Acceptance: "There's a reason why this is happening. It will work out, and something good might come of the pain." | ||
| sandrabrownearly Member Username: sandrabrownearly Post Number: 53 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 162.83.61.245 |
Wow, strength...I had heard the stages of grief, but thank you for posting them and reminding me. I think the fact that we're all at different stages is one of the reasons why there's been tension lately. | ||
| dream_truth Senior Member Username: dream_truth Post Number: 1320 Registered: 3-2006 Posted From: 71.235.107.213 |
Zoe, thank you so much for what you wrote. I thought it was just total honesty about all that you are going through. I wish I knew something to say that might help. I am processing alot of pain and emotion myself right now too. I just wanted to thank you for being so real and posting what you did. | ||
| adelicatebalance New member Username: adelicatebalance Post Number: 13 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 74.123.240.32 |
Zoe, This will not be a popular opinion here and I too, am afraid of being raked over the coals but here it goes... I'd like to propose that FF isn't lying. In his heart of hearts, he is telling the truth. Someone talked on another thread about the staff having different goggles on. He, too, saw the world through different goggles. I think the G&M article really showed the influence of the CofJ on everyone at GCC. In the article FF was called an 'acolyte' of Cay and Judy. He was in charge of approximately, 300 people and did his best to follow the direction he was given. He was trained by Cay and Judy. He and Mrs. F. spent a lot of time as "live ins" at the CofJ. FF and Mrs.F travelled with Cay and Judy to learn how to live 'in community' with them. They were taught step by step -- and were not always happy about it -- as Mrs. F. clearly said sometimes how mad she was that they were called to the Community way of life. I think Mrs. F. was, dare I say it, rebellious! I believe FF intended no harm to anyone. I think he felt he imposed the necessary disaplines etc... to keep everyone on the path to God (the CofJ path to God). I believed he loved every soul put into his care. FF was not evil but he was deeply misguided -- the results of which can be read in many of the posts on this website. My heart goes out to you, Zoe. | ||
| sandrabrownearly Member Username: sandrabrownearly Post Number: 57 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 162.83.61.245 |
I think there is a real possibility that there is truth to what you are saying, adelicatebalance...his googles came from the C of J and I bet you that most of the people still at C of J wonder what all the fuss is about. Those affiliated with the C of J do things all the time that we would find outrageous. I just heard a story about someone there sending their wife to live with relatives until she got her idolitry for her children under control. If my husband ever told me that I needed to be seperated from my children, I'd tell him to kiss my •••! (There is no one at the C of J that puts anything before God...which is what idolitry is.) Taking the children and putting them in other people's home or sending the wife to live some where else in their mind is done out of love. Now if someone asks Father Farnsworth a pointed question...Did you ever hold a childs face up to the boiler and tell them that is what hell will be like if they don't straighten up? What would he say? If he believes that is the way to get a child back on the straight and narrow and he did it because he loved that soul that was in his care, then you would think that he'd admit to it. I'll have to go back and see what exactly he is denying. Is he denying specifics or just denying that he was abusive? | ||
| sandrabrownearly Member Username: sandrabrownearly Post Number: 58 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 162.83.61.245 |
Quotes from the R&T...(I do want to state that just because a paper puts quotes around something doesn't mean that the person absolutely said it word for word...unless Canadian papers are different from US papers.) "Some of the things that have been (posted) ... it's pathetic. If it happened just like they said it did, we were awful people. But I'm convinced, and I'm honest before God, the way things are put there are not the way I saw them. And other students have said, 'I never saw that.'" "While he said no former student has called to confront him about the abuse allegations, several have phoned to thank the school for the impact on their lives." (Zoe states that she did, in fact, call him and confront him...before he made this quote I assume.) "Asked directly if he felt he had anything to apologize for, Farnsworth responded, "No, I don't. Not as far as intention is concerned. There may be things that we did that I would do differently now." "He would not give examples of what things he would change." | ||
| familylove New member Username: familylove Post Number: 11 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 74.15.77.163 |
Hi All I commend you for your approach to Zoe's posting and agree that this is a grieving process for all those involved. I must tell you, that from a parent's point of view, it has been a catostrophic experience. My precious daughter's main concern when all this came to light was to protect me, her mom. She did not want me to feel guilt for sending her to Grenville because she knew as parents our intentions were pure and for her to have a wonderful, happy experience in a family setting with church values. We visited every third weekend as we lived 9 hours away. These trips and trips from her grandparents were discouraged to say the least, but we persisted. We called at least twice a week to talk to our child and let her know that we were proud of her and loved her. I have only recently discovered that FF didn't want visits, because her preferred control and isolation of "his" children and phone calls were witheld for discipline reasons. I can't express the agony which I felt when I sat with her in the presence of Bishop Bruce, The executive director and lawyer for the Diocese of Ontario. I thought I would vomit, became shaky and perspired, and felt like I was in time warp. Everything was in slow motion as I heard my child with great detail describe the emotional and mental cruelty which she endured directly at the hands of FF and some of his staff. She was never allowed to keep friends. As soon as she felt close to someone and felt she could trust them and confide her fears to them FF would address and berate her and tell her she could no longer be in their company. I love my daughter more than life itself, and had to sit with her while she told these men how FF tore her down, told her that no one could love her, that her family wished to be rid of her because she was such a bad person, that she was so damaged, even God could not love her. He did this to her for 2 hours. My child, whom I entrusted to Grenville Christian College, not because we didn't love her, wanted her out of our lives, she was a great child and we wanted the experience for her. We too were misled, betrayed and used. I don't care that FF was involved with COJ. He was a minister, a man, a husband and a father. He was to be a sheperd of his flock. I was physically sick as was my daughter, when our session was over and both emotionally broke down. I feel for everyone of you who has had the courage to talk to the Bishop, The newspaper and the police to share your stories. I also honour the good teachers and the students who were fortunate enough to have had good experiences and escaped any abuse. I applaud you for supporting those who have been negatively affected by their experience, and your on going kindness. It is only though being informed and sharing that we can fully understand the impact this has had on people. Thankyou for listening. TB | ||
| wagener84 Member Username: wagener84 Post Number: 91 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 68.151.117.98 |
I haven't posted much on here recently...but I thought Id weigh in on some points. I truly believe that nothing done at Grenville was done with malice or ill-intent. Unfortunately, FF and others were mis-guided by a warped view of the world and the human spirit thanks to the greatest threat of our times...religious fundamentalism. I believe in God and Christ, however, I do not believe that Christ intended that his named be used to mentally and emotionally abuse young minds to conform to his will. The same can be said about homosexuality and other "sins" in our society. It is clear that people do not choose to be gay but are created that way. FF railed against homosexuality and the plague of AIDS on "blacks" but did so blindly without compassion or understanding of what causes homosexuality. I can assume he still loves his own son regardless of his sexual preferences? His son was raised in a strict God fearing home...did he choose this path in that environment? NO...he was created that way. If off topic, however, my point is that while GCC had good intentions, there perception of life, sin, etc. was completely warped by misquided religious zeal. Whether your a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, or whatever, a right-wing or fundamentalist view of religion is the cause of much of the world's conflict. Its time to let each other worship in their own way in peace and stop trying to force one's views on others. This is the crux of why Grenville caused harm to so many. They attempted to enforce Christianity as they interpreted it on the youth with complete impunity and disregard for the psychological consequences. My apologies for the disjointed discourse. I appear to be losing the ability to communicate effectively with age!!!  | ||
| cryfreedom Intermediate Member Username: cryfreedom Post Number: 171 Registered: 6-2006 Posted From: 24.226.27.60 |
familylove-----Thank you so MUCH for your heart felt post. I wholeheartedly agree with what you said. As a mother I can imagine the hurt and guilt that you have been going through. But you know the truth now and you are there being a wonderful support for you daughter now and I know she loves you for that. Keep moving forward!! Sincerely-------Dawn | ||
| fromthestart New member Username: fromthestart Post Number: 1 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 72.200.182.242 |
i got to grenville before there was even a student on the property. i will apologize up front that i, in this forum will have to be vague. "we" spent many weeks cleaning up the school so that the very first students could arrive. not fun but somewhat of an adventure. i was there when the reason for the school being opened was to provide a christian school that kids could learn discipline and education. i graduated in 74 and have been back only once and that was for an old friends wedding. the majority of my memories of GCC are positive. that all changed with cay and judy. once these two women got a foothold life as we knew it changed forever. you had to choose who was going to be your friend based on if they bought into the program or not. hair was cut, "rock and roll" albums destroyed, and the most evil thing i have ever expierenced was introduced---light sessions. i have been through more of these than i like to remember and they are so divise it is hard to understand that God has anything to do with it. i would get physically sick every thurs. that we had them. i was never a staff member but to survive you had to play the game. to be very honest i did not have the testicular fortitude to stand up and say "are you people nut's?'. i am the type of person they were looking for. NO CAJONES. i know that i am somewhat rambling and i am sorry. i, until i was given this sight, did not know that the school was still being run like the c of j. how sad. i recently took my son to see the school, from the roadside, before i found out they were closing. i just wanted to show him a little bit of his dad's history. the brainwahing-true, abuse-true, ff infidelity-true, dan o, my own girlfriend in highschool, licks- i got 10, a classmate of mine got- and try and think about this--- he got 25!!!! . the three headmasters at the time were away at a conference and a man we called Mr. B was left in charge and deemed that this kid deserved 25. he literally did not and could not sit down for at least a week. i have much to say about my own expierences but cannot on this sight for personal reasons. there are a few names that i think i recoginze but am not sure. i may even have people to apologize to because i played the "game" in light sessions and may have hurt people to protect myself. one person i will apologize to upfront, i have seen his name mentioned, is Jeff wilkinson. i did not like you and i don't know if i would like you now but that is not the point. you kicked my butt in a tennis match, which still bugs me, but i do hope you are doing well. i was a complete jerk. panderson--during my time at c of j you came back from europe once. i do remember Heidi and was so sorry to hear she died. we of course were not friends given the situation but she always impressed me. i knew john s. jill s. eric s. doug s. david e. vicky e.. you called my dad quite a few years ago and it meant alot to him. if it is possible to get in touch with you i would very much like that. to anybody who questions the abuse and brainwahing i witnessed it firsthand and it is not madeup. i do not live in Canada and if the healthcare system can get you help use it. what i went thru is with me today and will be there till the end. i identify with all of you and feel for you. i am so sad the school is gone because i helped open it and more sad that FF's ego secured it's demise. this sight is saddening that it needs to exist but fantastic that you all have a place to talk and vent. the internet didn't exist for me. just a head's up. the few names i am familiar with i would love to e-mail if that is allright. there is one very important stipulation- i remain invisible. not for me but loved ones. i will check back and thank you. | ||
| dignityquest Junior Member Username: dignityquest Post Number: 47 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 99.228.175.126 |
From the start: Thank you for your post. I don't remember the tennis game and what ever you said or did to me, you are more than forgiven for. We all played the light session game. It still sickens me, but I remember times when in "Life Corp" (more like "Death Corp") meetings I was just glad when it was somebody else in the hotseat. Please feel free to e mail with complete anonymity. (Can't guarantee you would like me, but I think we are all very different people now). I've been gone 21 years and life has been very good to me. Regards, DQ (Jeff Wilkiinson) jeffrey.wilkinson@peelsb.com | ||
| chaoshart New member Username: chaoshart Post Number: 1 Registered: 10-2007 Posted From: 12.217.208.195 |
Well, I guess I should know most of those posting here. fromthestart I'm not sure of you name, but you must have known my family. I was 7 months old when my parents moved up from Stony Creek in '69 to help with the opening. I lived there for 16 years, the only "home" I had ever known. how sad it is that something founded with such good intent could go so horribly wrong. I know my own experience have left their mark on me, and my family. we are not what you could call close in any way. I thank the "fostering" program for this I left Grenville shortly at the semester break in January of '86 and haven't looked back | ||
| gcc_1981_grad Member Username: gcc_1981_grad Post Number: 79 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 74.15.65.83 |
HI Chaoshart, I was only there for two years. When I left I did not look back either. But since august I have looked back every day.., some cases all day. Thanks for posting. I hope that some kind of awareness of the nature of the abuse that took place at GCC can be learned so that this type of thing will not happen again. | ||
| sandrabrownearly Member Username: sandrabrownearly Post Number: 65 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 162.83.61.245 |
Chaoshart...7 months old in 1969...you're still very young! Here's my point...you still have time to get close to your family! GCC didn't want families to have that bond...divide and conquer. But you're out now. It's in your hands. You are worth knowing and your family deserves that closeness with you...and visa versa. I realize that I'm simplifying things, but I can only think of a few things that make it okay to completely cut yourself off from your family. If GCC is the reason for the riff, take back the control and start making it right...now! I don't mean to act like your mother...you've touched a nerve I guess...my relationship with my sisters is so important to me. We had forged a "Super Bond" before GCC, CofJ & Living Waters and was always something I could count on. Not perfect and we've had our rough times, but I always knew that if I needed them, they'd be there for me. There is and was a real comfort in that knowledge. Big hug to you chaoshart...if you are who I think you are, your entire family held a special place in my heart....good people! (Message edited by sandrabrownearly on October 21, 2007) | ||
| lquiz New member Username: lquiz Post Number: 1 Registered: 10-2007 Posted From: 24.31.145.15 |
First time posting. I've wanted to weigh in for some time if only to say that my heart breaks for so many of you and what you've been through. I went to the school for the last year of Stoney Brook and the first two years of Brockville. I escaped the influence of C & J there but did know them from my youth at the Cape. Lots of crazy stories from the early days but for the most part pretty harmless. Fromthestart, we might know each other. If I stayed at the school I would have graduated in 1973. I hung out w/ Sally T. and Nick T. Sang with the Visionaires. If anyone wants to connect they can email me at quizbath@gmail.com |
