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     salutethis New member Username: salutethis Post Number: 9 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 76.64.13.207 |
Is tiggers are wonderful things. Forgive the reference – childish, I know – but there is a point, which is this: There should be one person whom we live for – ourselves. You have to know who you are and be happy with who you are. You have to come to a place where you believe, at some level, that you are “wonderful”. And you have to protect that with an unwavering vigilance and ferocity. If you can achieve that, then it is easy to extend yourself to the ideal of treating others as you would have them treat you. I’ve found that the times that I am closest to that ideal, the easier – and more peaceful – things are. Much of what follows has already been said in one form or another, but here’s my take. I believe that perhaps the greatest crime committed at the school was deliberately denying so many young people who were seeking an education – not just in math and science, but about the world and themselves – a chance to look inward, to explore who they were, and to become proud of, and happy for, themselves. And some clearly needed that education more than others. Indeed, any sense of self worth was not only frowned upon, but sometimes punished harshly. As a dad, I now know only too well just how sensitive a young person is to all of the influences in their lives, and how easy it is for the teachers to make mistakes. It is a crime that is committed all over the world every day, often simply through careless neglect or weak-minded ignorance. But to do so deliberately and, in many cases, secretly from the parents and caregivers who put their child’s care in their hands, this is where the worst wrong-doing lies in my mind. What is most important to understand here is that no one can truly understand or appreciate just what it is another person needs to fulfill this sense of self..... and self importance. It is difficult enough for a parent to know and satisfy the needs of their child, let alone one person to another – be it a teacher, friend, neighbour, acquaintance, perfect stranger, or former classmate. (I should say that if you are not a parent, your opinion in this matter holds little weight in my books. You simply cannot appreciate the gravity and complexity of the subject. I know, only because I thought I knew all about it, having figured things out for myself, only to realize that I, in fact, knew very, very little. I imagine any parent will tell you the same.) I used to balk at the kids who were graduating and saying they were going to take time off to “find themselves”. What’s to find? I get it now. All of us who have walked through those doors, myself included, has been on some sort of journey to figure out what it is they are all about. Some had to go much further and endure much more than others. And there are those whose journey has not ended. It is what it is, and it is not for anyone else to say when someone’s journey is or should be done nor to qualify what they have endured along the way. | ||
| salutethis New member Username: salutethis Post Number: 10 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 76.64.13.207 |
Whether or not one has come to terms with themselves, the question remains: “why?”. Why would anyone do such a thing? Was it religion? Greed? Power? Ignorance? Fear? These past few days have left me with more questions than answers. In the end, I suppose it is some combination of all of these, and that combination will vary depending on who you are talking about. I doubt the answer to this question will ever be known. But I do know that in all cases, none of the perpetrators – aggressive or passive – had found themselves to be “wonderful” enough in some way and were unable to live for themselves. They all lived for someone – or something – else. In that state, they could not embrace the notion of the “golden rule”. They could only treat others as they were instructed to treat others, whether that instruction came from a person claiming to be their superior or some twisted voice inside. Many have spoken of the “nice” staff and how they should not be held in the same light as those who were more aggressive or more commonly known to dole out direct punishment/abuse. Perhaps not, but I still hold all of them – every one of them – accountable for stifling, and arguably in some cases altering, the minds of the students there. I made acquaintances with some of these more passive staff, but still I always knew that just one slip of opinion or emotion, no matter how respectfully presented, would likely end me up in trouble. (Let alone those who knew, and did nothing about, the more extreme situations.) They could not afford me the respect of allowing me my own mind. For this alone, I cannot offer them any respect in return. Any kindness or friendship offered to me by any staff meant virtually nothing as it came only out of a sense of duty to their god (or fear of their superiors....). Some were black inside – they frightened me the most. The rest were void, or mostly void, of any inner being. How could they be otherwise? They had all vowed to some person or another that their lives meant nothing. Any talents, accomplishments – whatever – it was not theirs, it was god’s. How could they possibly have anything of themselves to give to another person? From what I have learned in this forum, it would seem that some of these people figured it out, began listening to themselves, and left. For the rest, I am afraid I do not hold much sympathy if they now find themselves materially wanting. They have let themselves down. Their consequences are not my doing, they are their own. | ||
| salutethis New member Username: salutethis Post Number: 11 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 76.64.13.207 |
So what does all of this mean to the many who seek accountability for the wrongs that were committed against them? I say the golden rule applies here also. It is not a matter of “an eye for an eye”. It is a matter of protecting, and believing in, that who you are. It is a matter of standing up for those who would be subjected to the same sorts of deprivation in the future, as you wish someone would have done for you. Sure, there are those who are not pursuing justice under those terms, but rather are following some other voice, but I have to believe that these are the exception. For myself, I know how I feel about my experience, have considered all of the information available, and have taken all of the steps I wish to take and feel comfortable about it. Because I’m only listening to myself. I am not looking to engage anyone in a debate. I would only ask that anyone involved take a very serious look at what – who – it is that is motivating them. There are many in this conversation who have apparently remained religious. I never really was, and am now quite the opposite. However, I can say that as a youth, despite all of the teachings – GCC or otherwise, sometimes passive, sometimes fanatical, I always maintained my own vision of what god should be. I took whatever information I was provided and compiled my own conclusions. That way, I owned my god, not the other way around. We agreed on most things, which, in turn, made it difficult for me to screw up and having to forgive myself. I hope that whatever god you have chosen to worship is truly a god you can call your own. There are clearly lots of angry people involved on both sides, too. I would suggest that, at least in some cases, there is another voice motivating them. Something that is keeping them from being able to treat others in a way that I expect they themselves would want to be treated had they different views/feelings on the subject at hand. Had they come from a different experience, a different life. That said, any of these folks that are truly protecting a voice and opinion that is their own, so be it – more power to you. But given the escalating intensity of this forum, I believe it behoves everyone participating to take a step back and re-evaluate their motives and objectives. For anyone who is still sad and hurting, I would offer you this: there are no more survivors of GCC, only victors who have much to be proud of. The school is closed. The cycle is broken. It would seem to have been broken a long time ago. And it seems, certainly for those who have posted, you have emerged a thinking individual, challenging what has transpired, defending your person. While I have not read every single post, there seems few, if any, who would in any way participate in repeating the experiences you had. I often think of those who took such drastic measures as to leave your own family at such an early age to stand up for yourself, refusing to be forced along the path of another. While questions may remain as to why it had to be that way, never doubt for a moment that your decision, while unfathomably difficult and painful, was a triumph. It is a badge of honour that should be revered. What greater demonstration of knowing and listening to yourself? And for the rest of us who took less drastic measures, the same basic message: you did what you had to do. Period. Whatever fallout, if any, resulted, there should be few regrets. To all, I say that if you have emerged able to think for yourself, be good to yourself, and afford others decency and respect, then you have won. Not because of, or in spite of, the school, or your families, or your god, but because of you. The school, the controversy, the investigations, the lawsuits – none of these things are the centre of the universe. You are. If you do not truly believe this, you are misguided and it is time to start thinking differently. | ||
| salutethis New member Username: salutethis Post Number: 12 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 76.64.13.207 |
Before I close, I’m going to hijack my own post for a moment to offer an apology. There was someone (someone that inspired the title of this thread..... perhaps a move intended only to get their attention, if, in fact, they are even following any of this) that I didn’t afford the respect and decency I have just written about. You started before me (I think) and we graduated together. I considered you a friend within days. You were one of the most “real” people I ever met there, already so self assured and willing and able to open yourself to others. My behaviour towards you during the end of our time at the school was inexcusable. It had nothing to do with the environment. It had nothing to do with coping. It was just crap and, to put it mildly, I was an a**. My turning you away was against everything I have just said. And doing so for so long was abusive in its own right. I would not presume that having or not having my friendship mattered much to you in the end, and ultimately I was the one who lost out, but what I did at the time was hurtful and for that at least, I want to say I’m sorry. So, I’d have to say these blatherings are more along the lines of what I would like to have said to my graduating class back in ’85. If you’ve read this far, thanks for your attention. And thank you to everyone else that has shared their story – on either side, it has given perspective to many. I’ll leave you with this: The most wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one. Grrrrrrrr. Be good to yourself, be good to everyone else. Challenge anyone or anything that would keep you from doing either. Kelly. fizzzzydrinks@gmail.com | ||
| bluesman Member Username: bluesman Post Number: 78 Registered: 5-2006 Posted From: 68.83.79.247 |
Salutethis, I do love tiggers and that is why I chose to read this thread. We really all should take some time out to read Milne's classic characters as they are all so human. Thank you for posting...your thoughts are kind and reflective and bring into focus what is important in the long run....our own selves. I so appreciate your thoughts on others choosing an individual's course. And as well, your thoughts on how we have each survived, although in different ways, but have that to be proud of as we move on. Again, many thanks! | ||
| kate_skinner New member Username: kate_skinner Post Number: 9 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 142.240.200.10 |
Very well said Kelly. You are truly one of the victors of GCC. Tiggers may not like "hunny" but they sure are sweet. Thank-you. Kate. |
