| Author | Message | ||
     former_gcc_grl Junior Member Username: former_gcc_grl Post Number: 27 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 64.231.109.59 |
while i am excited our story is breaking i've not slept more than 2 hours a night since last thursday night, when i do sleep i'm having grenville nightmares and waking up in panic attacks. my boyfriend works nights so i even spent a few days at my parents' house so i wasn't home alone. i guess i don't know what to do with all this information coming out and memories coming back. it all feels so surreal. and i dont see my therapist til next thursday! *lol* i feel completely overwhelmed with forgotten memories, discovering i wasn't aware of all that close friends were going through, the fact that family and friends are learning things about my past that i haven't talked about in 20 years, learning first hand what post traumatic stress disorder truly is, remembering things that as a 12 year old i didn't realize were so wrong, having to admit that it wasn't a lifetime ago and it didn't happen to someone else, it happened to me. i feel like it's all swirling around me and i'm in a daze. i hope that doesn't sound totally crazy. i just thought i'd vent a little bit, see if it might help. i know my therapist will help, i just don't know what to do with it all at this point. i've still got a "wall" up when i read the articles and think back, i'm totally removed, not sure i want to open the flood gates yet. anyway, i'm sure my lack of sleep is showing. is anyone else is having a tough time. i know a lot of my friends are feeling empowered by the media. i am still in shock. | ||
| hoperules Junior Member Username: hoperules Post Number: 47 Registered: 7-2007 Posted From: 74.98.217.186 |
Overwhelmed yes, trying to open the floodgates as slow as possible yes! Tonight I am stepping away from the computer. Take advantage of the people around you that you can gather support from. For some of us, it's not so easy. I am lucky to have some online freinds, whom can step away from the board to discuss what we've read and laugh about old times. Through facebook, I see many of you online, way past your bedtime and will send the odd email telling you to go to bed! I'm horrible at sleeping myself. | ||
| former_gcc_grl Junior Member Username: former_gcc_grl Post Number: 28 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 64.231.109.59 |
hi hoperules...thanks for your email...it's hard to gain perspective on everything going on, i've taken a couple days off from the computer as well but then i come back and there is SOOOO much more that's happened...i don't want to miss out on anything, be it validating someone's experiences or assisting in bringing the appropriate "authority figures" (and i use that term loosely) to justice...i think some of that goes back to the grenville "guilt", something i have a horrible time struggling with...need to be everything to everyone, and perfectly at that... i'm not sure if you and i have spoken on facebook. my email is ebloch813@hotmail.com i'd love to chat if we haven't already. thank you again for your comments. | ||
| strength New member Username: strength Post Number: 18 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 192.197.95.253 |
I am over-whelmed, and totally understand you. | ||
| tabby1979 Member Username: tabby1979 Post Number: 61 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 207.216.241.43 |
Yes I am very overwhelmed .... the other night I was reading emails from some of my classmates and former students and I just started to cry...wept for a long time...and I am not much of a cryer. It helped, I think. It was really hard to digest all these emotional postings these past few weeks and we still have a struggle ahead of us. | ||
| tabby1979 Member Username: tabby1979 Post Number: 62 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 207.216.241.43 |
Yes I am very overwhelmed .... the other night I was reading emails from some of my classmates and former students and I just started to cry...wept for a long time...and I am not much of a cryer. It helped, I think. It was really hard to digest all these emotional postings these past few weeks and we still have a struggle ahead of us. | ||
| former_gcc_grl Junior Member Username: former_gcc_grl Post Number: 29 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 64.231.109.59 |
strength and tabby...thank you so much for sharing...i was starting to think that maybe i just wasn't as strong as everyone else...i've had a few moments of tears but i know there is a lot more to come...like i said, i'm still looking at everything from outside...like i've said on this message board so many times before, i feel better knowing i'm not alone in my experience | ||
| lightsout Junior Member Username: lightsout Post Number: 32 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 76.100.140.96 |
it might be better and less noisy to ask - who isn't overwhelmed!! I am so overwhelmed. I am just going into a busy time with my job - so this stuff will have to take a back burner...MUST STEP AWAY! | ||
| tinkerbell84 New member Username: tinkerbell84 Post Number: 11 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 88.134.236.112 |
I have also been overwhelmed and with sleepless nights since this all erupted. I had buried everything sooo deep and now it's all slowly coming back. I've been crying too but somehow I'm feeling good to finally get this all out of my system. There's so much I just didn't quite understand and now it's all becoming all quite clear. I can finally get rid of a burdon that I've been dragging around a couple of decades and I hope that when I 'm finished crying I can look forward to the future without reflecting on this time anymore. I misjudged so many people including my own good friends but I realize that it wasn't just me - it was many of us and it was due to the system that did it's best to keep us restrained in thought and emotion. We were all victims! Overwhelming - yes - but long overdo! | ||
| rozpriceenglish Intermediate Member Username: rozpriceenglish Post Number: 110 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 172.167.146.119 |
Yes, very overwhelmed. It was worse when I couldn't talk to anyone who would understand. But my mom has opened up about it, is reading the posts here, and so I have someone I can talk to who knows the score. I have been having trouble sleeping as well, and have been being a bit more 'kind' to myself. I finally got a good night sleep last night and called in to my little part time job - I wanted to put my energy into the things that I haven't been doing (because I've been so tired from not sleeping). Do you like massage, or do you have a reiki master or reflexology practitioner around? I find all three can be very helpful. How about crystal therapy (I know, that's off the wall for some people)? Or find someone in your area who can reset your Chakra's. Just some thoughts. Try to make sure you are getting some sunlight every day and most importantly, be kind to yourself and give yourself time/space to feel all these emotions. If you would like to talk to someone, find me on facebook and send me a note - I can give you a call. We're all in this together. | ||
| vancouver New member Username: vancouver Post Number: 16 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 216.113.168.128 |
I've had gcc nightmares for years off and on, but it's been pretty much every night for the last week. I destroyed all the pictures I took while I was there, but found an old one and started hyperventilating... Phew. Every time I think it's done, something else will set it off. I'm functional and all, but still, it sucks. | ||
| former_gcc_grl Junior Member Username: former_gcc_grl Post Number: 31 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 64.231.83.154 |
Thanks roz. I just sent you a message on facebook.  I will say chocolate has played a very important role in my life the past week! Vancouver: I haven't looked at any pictures or mementos. I haven't found my yearbooks yet. My boyfriend has been searching for them in the attic. Maybe I'm not meant to deal with them just yet. I've reacted much the same way in therapy when recalling different experiences. I cannot believe how easy it is to feel like I'm right back there. Sitting in a light session, avoiding eye contact and trying my best not to draw attention to myself. I'm having to do a lot of deep breathing! | ||
| spain Junior Member Username: spain Post Number: 29 Registered: 5-2006 Posted From: 69.204.218.39 |
YES, I think we are all overwhelmed this last weeK. We each have to take the memories as we can, and remember that our real life now is where we are....at least, that's what I'm trying to do as I drive to work each day after reading these postings....... | ||
| former_gcc_grl Junior Member Username: former_gcc_grl Post Number: 32 Registered: 8-2007 Posted From: 64.231.81.64 |
Good advice spain! | ||
| hoperules Junior Member Username: hoperules Post Number: 48 Registered: 7-2007 Posted From: 74.98.217.186 |
former_gcc_grl - We are already friends on facebook and have been for just over a month. I'm a bit younger than you. | ||
| survivor1101 Junior Member Username: survivor1101 Post Number: 29 Registered: 9-2007 Posted From: 207.112.105.233 |
I have been totally overwhelmed. I have not been sleeping, when I did it was to dream of Grenville. My poor girl is wondering WHAT is going on. Last night, though I completely did a hardcrash. I put Ava to bed and told myself I would just put my head down. I woke up at 3:15am. Usual Grenville Dreams... I know this is going to take time to process. But even to the point where food just does not look the same. All the memories that come flooding back, and finally being able to see myself as being safe at last. But if someone finds my kilt in their dreams would you please return it to mine??? I am tired of going to dinner without it. |
