| Author |
Message |
    
questiongrrl
New member
Username: questiongrrl
Post Number: 11
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 67.70.68.239
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 9:17 am: | 
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http://www.theglobeandmail.com/
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070831.wschool31/BNStory/National/home
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20070831.SCHOOLJESUS31/TPStory/ |
sam83
New member
Username: sam83
Post Number: 15
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 32.97.110.142
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 9:31 am: |
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?girl
Nice. F***ing explosive. Does anyone have the printed edition? On which page does the story appear? |
mike_irvine
New member
Username: mike_irvine
Post Number: 21
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 65.95.198.146
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 9:42 am: |
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it's on the front page and continues on page 3. in fact it's all of page 3. this is the top story in todays edition. holy $hit.
(Message edited by mike_irvine on August 31, 2007) |
fearlessjdp
New member
Username: fearlessjdp
Post Number: 3
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 192.155.59.254
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 10:01 am: |
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Is this in the Globe today?? |
hoperules
Junior Member
Username: hoperules
Post Number: 37
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 74.98.217.186
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 10:06 am: |
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Yes, today's Globe & Mail. |
spain
New member
Username: spain
Post Number: 20
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 69.204.218.39
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 10:13 am: |
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I hope that, as more people come forward with their stories to the Globe, that more articles will be forthcoming in the days ahead.
The paper needs more details so that the whole story is told, but it is a good beginning. |
bettyboop
Junior Member
Username: bettyboop
Post Number: 27
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 12.159.160.218
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 10:17 am: |
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a good beginning too, i think. except for the fact that mintz is a complete liar. shouldn't be surprised, really. |
sorry_wrong_number
New member
Username: sorry_wrong_number
Post Number: 12
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 24.141.16.97
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 10:18 am: |
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I think the preverbial flood gates are open now....and cannot even begin to express how happy I am that it's "out there".
A heartfelt THANK YOU for all that made this happen! |
mike_irvine
New member
Username: mike_irvine
Post Number: 22
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 65.95.198.146
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 10:26 am: |
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i said that the story continues on page 3. it actually continues on page 9. |
mike_irvine
New member
Username: mike_irvine
Post Number: 23
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 65.95.198.146
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 10:33 am: |
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i was really impressed to see mike phelan speak with the globe. it's one thing for former students to speak with the media but it means so much more for a former "staff kid" (kinda hate that term) to do so.
i was always impressed by him as a person, even as a kid, but now i am simply blown away by his courage. |
fearlessjdp
New member
Username: fearlessjdp
Post Number: 4
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 192.155.59.254
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 10:48 am: |
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I remember Mike Phelan (God i didn't like his mom...), saw him graduate, smart kid, incerdibly talented, I can't imagine how screwed up he must have been growing up in that envrionment. I hope he's ok, now.
can you imagine being told to ignore your gifts because you'll be haughty....un-freaking-belivable. |
mike_irvine
New member
Username: mike_irvine
Post Number: 24
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 65.95.198.146
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 11:07 am: |
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i actually really liked mrs. phelan. laura was one of my best friends until someone put an end to our constant flirting. i hope she's ok.
mike is one of my myspace buddies and is still a very talented musician. |
fearlessjdp
New member
Username: fearlessjdp
Post Number: 5
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 192.155.59.254
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 11:16 am: |
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well, tell him his old rommie Jonas says 'Hi' but you can leave out that i didn't like his mom...(it's funny mike we're having conversations in two different places...hehe) |
lightsout
New member
Username: lightsout
Post Number: 25
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 76.100.140.96
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 11:26 am: |
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kudos to Mike and to that spoke. It is also incredibly brave for Mike especially since he still have family in one of the communities.
great work all who were involved!
hopefully this is just the beginning of the truth coming out! |
grenvillan88
New member
Username: grenvillan88
Post Number: 17
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 74.99.246.147
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 11:43 am: |
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kudos to everyone who was involved in the initiation and being interviewed by the globe.
just bear in mind as headmaster, mintz's job is to put a positive spin for public relations. however, he does have the power to make all previous contracts, that may have silenced staff, null and void. this would only allow everyone to heal or "repent". after all, were we not preached to that "the truth will set you free"?
how many times does a private school actually make the front page of the globe, and negative press too (second time for GCC). abuse is abuse and should not be tolerated in civilized society where we nurture human evolution.
as for the pr spin, lets see the farnsworth's and the former chair persons of the board responses to being associated with such an establishment. |
tabby1979
New member
Username: tabby1979
Post Number: 22
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 70.69.121.31
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 12:19 pm: |
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Thank you thank you thank you...to all who participated in getting the message out about the horrible things that did go on at the school. Public humiliation can be sometimes worse than a jail sentence. Yup we need to get more stories out there...I agree. Good article! |
questiongrrl
New member
Username: questiongrrl
Post Number: 12
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 67.70.68.239
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 12:35 pm: |
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i completely agree with the posts about mike phelan and the others who were interviewed in the article - jesse, jay and andrew. that was incredibly brave of everyone and thanks so much for getting the word out.
p.s. for anyone who is interested, check michael's music out at:
http://www.michaelpatrickphelan.com/
http://www.myspace.com/michaelpatrickphelan
it's beautiful.
-QG |
sheilac
Junior Member
Username: sheilac
Post Number: 33
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 70.54.19.101
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 12:42 pm: |
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Every word rings true. I think back to the emotional torture of those many years ago, the incandescent rage and sense of injustice and the powerlessness I felt and--this is such catharsis. |
jes_noonan
Member
Username: jes_noonan
Post Number: 96
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 67.70.18.204
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 7:48 pm: |
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I'm really impressed by Mike's courage as well. I'm proud of you Mike (first sentence made it sound like you'd never get the chance to read this...)
More to come... |
spain
New member
Username: spain
Post Number: 21
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 69.204.218.39
| | Posted on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 11:00 pm: |
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Mike,
You have gone above and beyond - kudos to you for your courage in speaking out. |
dream_truth
Junior Member
Username: dream_truth
Post Number: 44
Registered: 3-2006
Posted From: 72.45.165.10
| | Posted on Saturday, September 01, 2007 - 3:33 am: |
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Thank you Mike, Jesse, Andrew....
Mintz is a liar but today's article just blew his lies away. As hard as it is to say this, I have a lot of respect for Joan Childs for coming forward and doing an interview, and making public addmission and apology for the abuse. No holding back. What the •••• is going on. I just said I respect one of the people who made my life hell. I mean really really bad. Am so confused right now. numb |
bettyboop
Junior Member
Username: bettyboop
Post Number: 30
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 68.83.133.87
| | Posted on Saturday, September 01, 2007 - 5:08 am: |
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"today's article" that dream_truth is referring to I just posted in a separate thread within this subject. They both are the Sat, Sept. 1 articles in the Globe and Mail.
I'm getting such a mixture of emotions with all of this as well.
One thing I can say: Ms. MaryEllen Childs McDaniel is one very courageous woman. And her quotes are dead-on. |
dream_truth
Junior Member
Username: dream_truth
Post Number: 45
Registered: 3-2006
Posted From: 72.45.165.10
| | Posted on Saturday, September 01, 2007 - 5:46 am: |
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I second that - Mel is an amazing courageous woman!! |
rozpriceenglish
Member
Username: rozpriceenglish
Post Number: 68
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 172.166.42.142
| | Posted on Saturday, September 01, 2007 - 6:10 am: |
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Holy S**t!
Just got finished reading the other two articles. Blows me away. It's like someone turned on a huge high wattage light, and it may not be pretty, but it's ABOUT TIME!!!
I SO hope that many ex staff and alumni will be able to find healing through speaking out and reading the truth.
I found it amusing that people thought that GCC staff were 'quaint'. Did they ever MEET FF? He could talk the hide off an elephant (and then turn around and take it off of us...)
Mel's quote about that hymn... Immediately a wonderful phrase from my yoga practice came into my mind - don't worry about being perfect - while you never will be, at the same time you already are...
They so missed the boat on the legacy they COULD have left behind... Such a terrible shame.
Thank you thank you thank you to Andrew and Jesse and Joan and Mel and Mike and whoever else I'm forgetting: Your bravery and courage is breathtaking. |
papillon
Junior Member
Username: papillon
Post Number: 26
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 24.40.146.45
| | Posted on Saturday, September 01, 2007 - 10:31 am: |
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Thank you thank you thank you to Andrew and Jesse and Joan and Mel and Mike and whoever else I'm forgetting: Your bravery and courage is breathtaking.
I second that. Thanks! |
grenvillan88
New member
Username: grenvillan88
Post Number: 22
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 74.99.246.147
| | Posted on Saturday, September 01, 2007 - 10:57 am: |
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saturday's globe: local paper advised not to publish abuse
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070901.grenville-side01/BNStory/National/ |
familylove
New member
Username: familylove
Post Number: 1
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 65.95.181.96
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 12:25 am: |
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part 2
I am the mom of a student of GCC and am appalled at the treatment of the children. What happened to "suffer the little children to come unto me"? I am filled with anger at hearing this news!!! Anger at Fr. Farnsworth who vowed to help my child gain a sense of self worth, deal with her losses and develop into a strong, loving intelligent individual. I asked Fr. Farnsworth and the GCC to help my child to have the stability in her life that seemed elusive to her in her struggles. I resent, that in the name of the church and in Christ's name, these supposed people of God have torn one's self esteem to shreds, humiliated tender young children in front of their peers and also behind closed doors. The staff of GCC under the direction of Fr. Farnsworth and Gordon Mintz (instead of treating our children as a special gift entrusted in their care for love and direction) destroyed their innocence. They showed these children ,that no on can be trusted, that even the people of God who should have the utmost respect and dedication to help young people become strong, independant and gracious.
What you did instead was destroy their self-esteem, tear away their faith in God and their religion, crush their spirit, and ruin many children physically and emotionally. For that Sirs: "you will be held accountable" by the church, and the law and by God. May God bless your souls, because you will need it. I believe in a just God and you have not seen his rath yet, Fr. Farnsworth, Fr.Mintz, Bishop Mason and GCC staff. How could you justify this behaviour as good Christian people? Bishop Mason- how dare you say that you were not canonically involved. My daughter was confirmed by your bishop while attending GCC. You were aware, you said, that staff members were subjected to light sessions-----was that not enough to alert you there is a problem here???????
I sent my child to GCC because it was advertised in the Huron Church News. I was raised my whole life in the Angican Church, and my father was an Anglican Priest in the Diocese of Huron. He truly was a Holy man but Lord help him if he were here today to know what these children, including his grand daughter have been put through over this period of time. I believe that the Anglican Church of Canada, the Anglican diocese of Ontario, the Anglican priests affiliated with this school have an obligation to the students who have attended this school. Don't tell me that you didn't know the students were involved, Bishop Mason. You should have done your job and looked into the situation---not turn a blind eye.
This is MY Child, whom God entrusted to me. My child, who I longed for every day she was away at school and for whom I cried every night when I thought someone else was tucking her into bed. My child, for whom I felt I had failed because I didn't have the knowledge or skills at the time to take away her pain. It took me 20 years to forgive myself for not having that ability. And now You destroy the children and the parents by showing us the abuse, the mind manipulation, the control methods you used, the degredation of the young minds, the exorcisms and on and on... |
breaker_19_girl
Intermediate Member
Username: breaker_19_girl
Post Number: 181
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 24.141.77.179
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 12:34 am: |
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Familylove,
hi and thank you...
And dont blame yourself.... I hope you are not... You did not know and you could not know....
Liane |
purgatory
Junior Member
Username: purgatory
Post Number: 29
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 67.71.120.15
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 12:58 am: |
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Dear Familylove, I am just so beside myself with grief having read your post.I was a victim of that regime, and in ways still am, but thankfully I have a wonderful Dr., and family to help me a long the way. I have been so rapped up in what GCC has done to us as students that I never thought about how this could effect our parents in learning the truth.You must be going through a whole host of emotions, and as a parent now of two children (19 & 12)I could not imagine how I would deal with the news that someone I trusted abused my children in so many different ways. As Liane said please do not blame yourself, but instead put all of your energy into loving your daughter, and making sure she knows this was not her fault either. Thank-you so much for sharing, and helping me to see there are other victims in all of this--parents like yourself. Catherine |
bluesman
Junior Member
Username: bluesman
Post Number: 33
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 68.83.79.247
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 8:18 am: |
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Dear Familylove,
Your posting is heartbreaking. And I am sure your heart is broken with this news. I too have suffered much grief at the realization of what the true dynamics were at GCC. I hope that your child(ren) are safe. You are so on the mark, that these children are precious gifts and should never have been the target of such cruelty. I am so very sorry that you and your family became part of this tragedy. My thoughts are with you. |
rozpriceenglish
Member
Username: rozpriceenglish
Post Number: 82
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 172.163.54.48
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 8:28 am: |
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Familylove,
It breaks my heart to read your post. I know my parents went through something similar when they sent us away.
All I can say, is, as a daughter, I know my parents did the best they could and I love them for that.
I agree with you - this will all be sorted out in this life or the next, and I believe there is a verse that talks about the punishment for people that harm innocents.
**Big Hug** |
current_gcc_dweller
New member
Username: current_gcc_dweller
Post Number: 2
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 207.61.101.2
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 11:55 am: |
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It is about time that these events are brought to the public through the press. However, some parents of recent elementary school students have read these postings and articles and assume that all of these horrible events were still happening up until the closing this year. With Marilyn Brennan as elementary head these events did not happen to the younger students. Most of the events happened in the 60's to early 90's, and usually to boarding students or staff kids. Although it is absolutely appalling and wrong, please do not get confused with the timings of these events and the very recent teachers that were working there. They now face the stigmatism of trying to get a new job and having people on the interview boards think that they are apart of the horrible events at GCC. My husband taught there for the last 3 years and now is considering going away from teaching because he doesn't want people to think that he abused kids. |
rozpriceenglish
Member
Username: rozpriceenglish
Post Number: 83
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 172.168.249.88
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 12:22 pm: |
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I can see how it will be very difficult for the post-cult staff to deal with the fall out from all the allegations.
Frankly, a statement from the school should suffice - unfortunately, by not giving credence to what DID happen "without foundation", they are placing all the legitimate work on the chopping block along with the abuses.
As current GCC staff, your husband should be insisting that the remaining administration to own up to past mistakes and put to rest the 'rumors'. By taking responsibility for the past, and clearing the current staff of those allegations, it should clear the way for your husband and any others not involved in the abuse allegations to start over with a clear slate.
And really, is it SO bad that recent students' parents are concerned? Abdicating responsibility of their children, albeit through misplaced trust and loyalties, is what allowed the abuses to begin and continue...
Perhaps it will serve as a reminder that while an excellent education is necessary to succeed, nothing can take a place of the parents' role in raising a child... |
jes_noonan
Intermediate Member
Username: jes_noonan
Post Number: 105
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 67.70.18.204
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 12:48 pm: |
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Familylove,
I would love to have you contact me privately -> jes_noonan@hotmail.com
Thanks! |
madeitanyway
New member
Username: madeitanyway
Post Number: 5
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 149.173.6.25
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 1:02 pm: |
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I really feel badly for Familylove. My parents saw the articles and asked a lot of questions about things i didn't tell them at the time or since. My parents were ill equiped to deal with me, a rebelious teen. They needed help and GCC told them basically that i needed tough love. I was never physically abused, nor knew anyone that was. It was a rough couple of years, but i came out stronger and though still struggle with the methods, helped made me what i am today. Successful.
I always felt very sorry for the staff kids. I think they had it the worst by far, and most of what i think i see here are staff kids or COJ kids. You guys had it rough. At the end of the year, and monthly - i had a place to go to get away.
The school hasn't been like this in a long time. it closed due to bad business managment mostly. This history is long over. Obviously the feelings are not. |
rozpriceenglish
Member
Username: rozpriceenglish
Post Number: 86
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 172.168.249.88
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 1:14 pm: |
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madeitanyway,
I would respectfully disagree with your last comment. By relegating the closing to simply 'bad management', you overlook the fact that had the history truly been 'long over', there would have been much more support, involvement, and references to friends and family on the part of this alumni (me).
Don't take this to mean that I regret my time there, that I didn't get anything good out of it, that I blame the staff for their treatment etc. Truth is, the school became cultish in its actions and many of the staff were victims just trying to survive. However, it is, in my opinion, too simplistic to say that business management closed the school.
I think that MY actions as alumni speak for me. Yes, I had a good education. Yes, I received treatment that was irresponsible and hurtful. No, I wouldn't have recommended the school to anyone who asked me.
I believe that THAT is the underlying reason behind the closing. The school closed because people voted with their pocketbooks. No confidence, was I believe, the response.
(Message edited by rozpriceenglish on September 04, 2007) |
gayatgcc
Member
Username: gayatgcc
Post Number: 56
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 74.14.92.60
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 1:19 pm: |
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Holy s**t! I'm away from my computer (and life) for a week and look what happens!?!?
I am overwhelmed! |
madeitanyway
New member
Username: madeitanyway
Post Number: 6
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 149.173.6.50
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 1:30 pm: |
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roz, no doubt the lack of alumni support and lack of references from alumni didn't help. i didn't send my kids there either - so there ya go. I did recommend it to a couple of people stuggling with their child. recently though, it was just a school, this control stuff and discapline just wasnt there, not like in the 70's and 80's. |
questiongrrl
New member
Username: questiongrrl
Post Number: 14
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 67.70.68.239
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 1:56 pm: |
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...and don't forget the 90's. |
klein88
New member
Username: klein88
Post Number: 2
Registered: 9-2007
Posted From: 58.186.17.233
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 2:29 pm: |
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I have a question... If they liquidate the assets of the college, How will they be dispersing the funds and to whom. It will be interesting to see who are the auditors and who will be incharge of unwinding the organization. (are the ducks all lined up to benefit for this action). Are they worried about potential court action? It will be interesting to see how this plays out. There are some significant assets associated with that school. |
grenvillan88
Junior Member
Username: grenvillan88
Post Number: 33
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 74.99.246.147
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 5:02 pm: |
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Geoff K: Good to see you found us, the minority of past students who thought "our second home" s.u.c.k.e.d (for lack of a more suitable word)
Lost touch of you after we were out in Toronto (after we escaped the concentration camp). Hit me up at badinfluence70@gmail.com
Now go scrub some pots and think about what you have done, hahaha. |
rozpriceenglish
Member
Username: rozpriceenglish
Post Number: 93
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 172.164.76.180
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 5:31 pm: |
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klein88 - very good question... i was under the impression that there wasn't any money, and that the assets were going to the bank...
anyone able to shed light on that? |
oneflewover
New member
Username: oneflewover
Post Number: 15
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 74.108.103.175
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 7:15 pm: |
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I was thinking about the last time The School made the national press. Back in the 80s when the entire student body and faculty were tested for AIDS. I have the clippings but no dates so don't know when exactly.
Of course there was AIDS hysteria everywhere but I always thought it was funny that they felt testing for everybody was necessary. In light of what's been posted here not so funny.
Anyone from that time remember how/when/why it all came about? |
quietgrl
New member
Username: quietgrl
Post Number: 18
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 24.226.102.190
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 7:36 pm: |
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From what I know... it was the reporter who tried break the story in 89 ... (Aids story was in 87 fall) Mike Morallis...
Why: Wow... great story...
How: He was on campus...investigating all the stuff we have been posting about.... this came up.. he ran with it...
This is what I remember from talking to him then...but there is probably more to it.. |
badkid
New member
Username: badkid
Post Number: 1
Registered: 9-2007
Posted From: 209.53.125.89
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 8:00 pm: |
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Hi every one. Sure been an interesting week. Talk about a polarizing event! I was at gcc for 3 years, 84-87, and I remember everything, not being one of the chosen ones, I had my share of humiliating experiences. How these experiences affected people is not the point for me but rather that they did happen, and I see nothing wrong in holding them accountable. The attitude of FF was always "god is on our side", spoken like a true tyrant, and the hippocracy was overwhelming, hard to accept "give it all to god" from someone driving a lincoln. You have my support 100% If I can help let me know.
My first name is Paul, my brother was a b-ball star and a prefect.
I on the other hand, was thebadkid |
familylove
New member
Username: familylove
Post Number: 2
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 65.95.174.203
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 8:53 pm: |
|
Thanks for the previous posts, here is the 2nd part that I had tried to post with the first....
I am angry, I am disgusted, I am sad, I am devasted to think that the very people who should honour one another have created such a Monster.
To the staff of GCC, I am saddened by your predicament, but remind you, that you were adults, with a will to do right or wrong. You did not protect our children, and even more grievously and inconsevibly, did not protect your own little ones. You made your choices but the children suffered the consequences.
To the Brockville newspaper and columnist who did not write the story in 1989 due to duress,.you must cringe and have such a guilty conscience, with each letter from a GCC child, you read. So many people could have been spared the trauma, the nightmares, the insecurities. What were you thinking!!!!
On behalf of parents such as my self, who had only the best intent for their child, I swear there will be answers forthcoming! Please remember we love you, apologize to you....I beg your forgiveness for not knowing what was happening......I vow that I will do something now to make this right!!! I will address the powers that be and try to bring about restitution. The world will be aware of the events at GCC through your strength and courage. To my sweet daughter, who has become a beautiful, strong and courageous young woman, who has the integrity to speak the truth, I love you and am so proud of you. Many times you have told me that you love me and hold no bad feelings about GCC. I don’t honestly know that I could be so gracious, but you are a gentle soul, with such a big heart. We will set this right, I promise you with Love TB |
sandrabrownearly
New member
Username: sandrabrownearly
Post Number: 17
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 72.66.131.168
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 9:42 pm: |
|
Every once and a while my Mom will start crying over our time with Living Waters, C of J and GCC. (Now, grant it, we're crying people!)
It's tough...I know that my Mom always felt she was doing what was best for us. She went through her own rough times and being able to send her children to a private boarding school was like a dream come true...actually, we never would have drempt such a thing!
I try to focus on the positive's with her...I am the mother I am today because of all I went through. Go ahead...try and tell me how to raise my child. I dare you.
I'm sure I'll look back someday and wish I had done a few things differently with my children...I'm basically winging it and they know it!
I actually took my child out of the dentist office one day before they were finished doing their work. It was preventative and it was hurting him. They kept saying it wasn't, but children's toes don't curl for no reason and tears were starting to stream down his cheeks. Maybe he was just afraid...I don't care. "I think this is hurting him." "No...maybe uncomfortable but not pain" "I really think his teeth are sensitive...that's enough! No more! He's finished...back off!" I know that assistant thought I was crazy. The dentist kept saying, "but I'm only half done!" Too damn bad.
I've been face to face with a football coach that was also our State's attorney! (My husband loved that!) He was so nasty and those kids were 8 years old! All the mother's came up and thanked me and I just said, "Why didn't you back me up?!" They had us talk to a mediator...too funny!
I've been through so tough (weird) times. Not as tough as some here on this board. It wasn't easy getting here, but today...I like who I am! |
denise
New member
Username: denise
Post Number: 1
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 69.156.2.180
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 11:07 pm: |
|
To familylove
I too am a parent of a student who went to GCC and I am so uppset by what I have read that I have had many sleepless nights over it all. It breaks my heart to think that so many innocent children( and they were that at the time) have been so hurt by a school that showed us ( parents) what a good, upstanding , thoughtful and generous place Grenville was. If my son had only told me what was happeneing I could have done something...not just for him but for many as I have never been afraid to stand up and defend..and I would have defended all if I had only known.
My son, Jesse, was a strong willed boy and that helped him to survive the school but deep down he also has a very good heart and soul and I am sure he was shocked at what was happeneing to him and everyone else, and I have told him just how sorry I am about this.
AS a man he has turned out to be someone I am very proud of...he is stong, intelligent, hard working, caring and a leader. I know the events that took place there took his innocence. I am so sorry that I could not protect him at this time of need.........he only told me he did not like it but never any details........this is the letter I wrote to the journalist who wrote the articles for the Globe.
To all past students all I can say is most of your parents had no idea what was happening, truth will prevail, let as much of the pain go as it will only hurt your future and ...there always is a future. You are adults now...look at the mistakes of others and do not make them yourselves...you are all good people........beleive in yourself and move to better ground if you have not already.
Someone, someday will pay for what they did ......you need not fear that !
Letter sent to Globe to follow
Denise |
denise
New member
Username: denise
Post Number: 2
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 69.156.2.180
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 11:11 pm: |
|
part 2 letter
Dear Michael,
I am writing this letter in response to the Grenville Christian College article in todays Globe and Mail.
You have spoken to my son Jesse Noonan, about some of his time there, since he told me about factnet .
I have read the factnet postings over the past month and am very concerned, shocked and sickened about what happened to too many young people and the aftermath in their lives so want to give a parents hindsight/ perspective .
I want to make a comment about this school.
I was lied to about what they do as teachers and leaders for our children and examples of 'good people"
When I decided that Jesse should go to boarding school it was for a variety of reasons which really are not important in this letter. I was a single parent ( no help from the Dad) and decided that it was a good idea although quite costly for a single parent with no support to speak of .
I sent him to have an excellent educatiion, smaller classes, being able to make friends from all over the world, do interesting things. I also was in boarding school at the same age and although quite homesick had some excellent experiences that I would never have had if at a regular school.....along with that come the ususal nonsense at a boarding school: kept on a tight leash, mass every day etc. I expected him to come out of this a well rounded young adult, happy and set for life so to speak.
Jesse told me many times he was unhappy there and I thought it was the usual " I hate it here". Had I EVER known what I do now I would not only have had him home in a matter of an hour I would have wanted to do great physical harm to all and any that subjected him to the "mind" games, dicipline, and abuse they had there.
I find it heartbreaking that after making a very hard decision to send him to school and taking great pains to choose one and then giving these people one of the things I cherish most in this world ( my son) to find that they abused their authority, took advantage of these children and created such havoc in their minds that some are still 10 years later seeing psychologists/ psychiatrists makes me physically ill.
It is unfair that we can be so simply fooled. When I would visit ( regularily) everyone was so pleasant, happy and calm that you would never in a million years guess what was really going on after the parent was gone.
I am sad for the lost youth, the fear... adults turning on you and the lack of commitment he can make to women from his being told it was "sinning to be tempted".......these former students need help I fear and it may be hard for some of them to get it. I asked Jesse if he would go to counsilling and he said "I am what I am". I think he needs it . Many of these young people need some GOOD counselling, not someone asking for details and expecting the person to find their own answers but helping to give them answers and to find a new way of " being" without changing the wonderful parts of them.
Thank you for doing this article because until I was shown the web site to read about others trauna and what happened I still after all these years had never been told about what a " hell" it was.......
I feel guilty in one sense and have apolozed to Jesse for what happenend but I also know that I am blameless as I had no idea of the " truth" until now and am ashamed that people can in this day and age hurt so may so badly in our country and not be held accountable
Thank you
'Denise Noonan |
bettyboop
Junior Member
Username: bettyboop
Post Number: 44
Registered: 5-2006
Posted From: 69.205.224.127
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 11:20 pm: |
|
family love -
your posts were astounding and profoundly moving. thank you for vowing to make those responsible accountable. |
tabby1979
Member
Username: tabby1979
Post Number: 53
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 70.69.121.31
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 11:55 pm: |
|
Family love and denise...my heart goes out to you both. We are here to support you in any way we can. They were both very heartfelt very moving messages. |
hoperules
Junior Member
Username: hoperules
Post Number: 41
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 74.98.217.186
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 2:20 am: |
|
Family Love & Denise –
I don’t even know where to begin. I posted one of my first posts in the thread “How much does your family know?” I hadn’t and haven’t told them anything until Friday when the first article came out. In fact, I stayed up all night until I thought I could run out and grab a newspaper. I wasn’t confident that this was something that I had imagined and progressively forgotten over my 15+ years. It was real. Reading these posts of past and fellow student accounts has brought back many memories. Seeing it in print was validating. For whatever reason, I finally felt I had grounds to stand by.
I sent the Globe & Mail links and a babbling email to my mother “apologizing” for not having told her sooner. Back then, I honestly felt I had everything to lose and nothing to gain. She is a vocal woman and I knew her first phone call would have been to the school. For me this would have meant a blatant target on my back, after FF and JC smoothed things over. I’m sure stating that I was out of line, I was acting out, anti-social with the rest of the student body or reading whatever script they read off of when “parents complained or wanted to interfere.”
It was out of fear I said nothing. Even after going home for breaks and summers. I thought I was there to serve time and make the most of it while I did. But as I mentioned in my previous posting I was ashamed and felt guilty enough for being this kid, that required an institution such as Grenville to assist my parents in my upbringing. I felt that my parents in my younger years had financially struggled enough, that I should not complain as they were proud of truly doing what they thought was best for me. They took recommendation from friends and forked out the money to no avail. I was there for 2 ½ years of hell. I had no clue if I was coming or going or what I was doing most days. I was literally in a daze. I did all I could do to survive. Find friendships that I could trust etc. I was not an academic by any means, yet threw myself in there as much as I could, in order to distract and maintain my mind as much as I could. I ended up doing as well as what was expected of me. I participated in cross country skiing, art, stage crew and have yet to this day can’t remember if I partook in yearbook or not. In a way, I was well rounded, but an out of control spiral nonetheless. |
hoperules
Junior Member
Username: hoperules
Post Number: 42
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 74.98.217.186
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 2:28 am: |
|
PART II
Family Love & Denise –
It pains me having heard back from my mother that she is apologetic. She is sorry for the pain she caused and had she known, she would have been in full gear to do something about it. I wasn’t the best kid in the world. If I knew her like I do now, I would have entrusted in her the power to speak up and do what she had to do to get my ••• out! She stated that she would have contacted the police had she known what was going on. I was simply too scared and had no voice. This being said, I have had little correspondence to her since I told her on Friday. I sent her an email stating it wasn’t her fault because she didn’t know. I should have said something and I regret saying nothing.
I have no clue what to say to her. I feel I can’t say anything to her and I am more than overly ashamed to say anything to her. I feel anger towards them, for not listening to what I tried to tell them many times while on the phone. I wasn’t able to say much, but I tried to say as much as I could, when staff weren’t near by. Writing letters was always a worry as to who would read them before the staff would stamp them. While I was on breaks, I wanted to see my friends, forget about Grenville while I could and was too much of a coward to tell them what was really going on. I figured once I made it out of there, I would never look back. Literally, I never did. I only lived it through many, many nightmares over the past 15+ years. Funny, I never saw it as PTS.
Family Love & Denise, your posts made me weep. I only wish I could get to that point with my parents and let them know what really went on. For some bizarre reason, I am still too ashamed and can’t talk about it. My poor mother has emailed me a few times since Friday and for whatever reason, I can’t respond. I am just so sorry, I wish I had said something, anything sooner. It’s shame for all that happened when I didn’t speak and guilt that it’s been building for 15+ years and it actually took me to this first Globe & Mail article to tell have others tell her the truth.
Thank you both for your posts. It means much to me right now. |
lavendergirl
New member
Username: lavendergirl
Post Number: 4
Registered: 9-2007
Posted From: 58.107.98.141
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 4:39 am: |
|
I hope one thing we can all learn from this is to really listen to our own children, and take them seriously, esp if something they are saying seems off base.
Hope, I am sure you will be able to contact your mother when the time is right. I'm sure she is just as upset as you are - but she is probably in shock because she has just found out, while you have had to live with this for years.
As your name says, Hope rules. There's a reason you chose that name. Keep hoping. Keep holding on - she loves you and is trying to reconnect. |
gcc_1981_grad
New member
Username: gcc_1981_grad
Post Number: 14
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 74.15.67.159
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 7:16 am: |
|
Family Love and Denise - your posts were great. Thank you very much for writing. I personally do not have that type of connection with my parents - but strive to do so with my own son. I am 45 years old. I left that school 26 years ago. The wedge that was placed between my parents and myself is just as fresh today as it was all those years ago. It is very nice to hear a parent support their child. |
tmw
Member
Username: tmw
Post Number: 54
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 67.71.152.65
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 7:44 am: |
|
gcc_1981_grad...I know what you mean of the wedge, I haven't seen my own family in years. I am sure they are reading the G&M and thinking that these are just whiners that have sensationalized and gotten their 15 minutes of fame, just like their daughter.... |
gcc_1981_grad
New member
Username: gcc_1981_grad
Post Number: 15
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 74.15.67.159
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 8:01 am: |
|
tmw - I think the same.
I have walked away from my parents years ago - actually decades now |
denise
New member
Username: denise
Post Number: 4
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 67.70.18.170
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 8:19 am: |
|
Hoperules
I am sorry that you are afriad to talk with your Mom about this.........she propably has needed time to wrap her head around what she has read and is not sure of what to do. I know it took me a while to fully get over the shock and anger of what I was reading here before I could put into coherent words what I felt ( I had already told Jesse and we have been in touch, and talked about this tons). I do not know your Mother or you but what I hear is she has tried to email you more since Friday and I think by not responding you are putting a wedge between you.....also you have so much fear.......school is out...you are an adult.......and you nothing to fear from the school anymore.....take contol for your life, embrace the good in you and email your Mom back.......Hopefully this can be the start of your healing but you need to repond to her..I am sure she is feeling pain to think of what happened to you.
TMW and GCC 1981 Grad I am sorry that you have have not seen your families for a long time.....I am sure you have your reasons ... remember that we all need to do what we feel is best to be happy in life.... personally I don;t think I could not have my sons in my life...as they are the core of me and I would die without them . That may sound corney but it is the truth. Good luck to you all
Denise |
priest_of_satan
New member
Username: priest_of_satan
Post Number: 4
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 74.114.251.86
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 9:44 am: |
|
It is called therapy - Grenville did not create anyone...nor did the break them into something that is and was not fixable!!!! Everyone has his/her own issues to deal with - typically students were sent to GCC 1) for an education and to get into a good, or any, University 2)they had discipline issues at home or at school
I did my time at GCC - I could have harbored resentment toward the Padre and the staff for the "treatment" over those 5 years. Why bother? It was YEARS ago!!!
THE GLOBE & MAIL - the information the Globe is printing is complete sensationalism - Most definitely the staff crossed lines with individuals in certain situations - if you are not a CofJ or staff student then being mad or not ever talking to your parents is a cop-out. They made a decision, at the time, to do what they thought was right for their child. THAT IS IT. So to bring up the war wounds of GCC days b/c these very unique stories have come out...yeah is that fair to do to your parents at this point in their lives if you haven't.
Learn from your and your parents mistakes - what cause you to be sent to GCC? That perhaps is the answer - did your single mother work too much like mine did? Were you in constant conflict with one or both parents? Did you have problems in school that were out of hand?
There were very few over-acheievers at GCC sent there for simply just the education - most like me, were pain-in-the-••• kids who needed some dicipline and stern hand - which we got kids - anyone ever get poked by Dan Ortolani? Well I was - I was warned though, don't •••• him off cause you don't want his pokes in the chest. Well dumbass here had to push his luck and got them - OUCH. Do I blame Dan O. for abusing me physically, absolutely not. I KNEW what would happen if he was pushed too far...
Sounds like life to me. |
fearlessjdp
New member
Username: fearlessjdp
Post Number: 7
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 192.155.59.254
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 11:22 am: |
|
P.O.S.
who the hell are you to say what these people went through?? It's easy to say "get over it" and for myself if anyone tried to 'light session' me...well some fists would have flown and i would have been the hell out of there and on the next train home...and i'm not a violent person by nature.
but that's *me* and i'd been fairly toughened but that point due to emotinal abuse from my alchaholic step-father, but you know what it still haunts me sometimes, and most of the time i'm able to pick myself up dust myself off and move on, but these things do linger. If these people have been hurt by their time at GCC for whatever reason then they have a right to say so, and you have no right to put them down. |
jes_noonan
Intermediate Member
Username: jes_noonan
Post Number: 106
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 67.70.18.204
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 11:31 am: |
|
priest_of_satan: as I first read through your post, I tagged you as one of the minimalists who have been randomly posting on this site. I considered the fact that I'm clearly biased and attempted to read through it again objectively. Here are my thoughts on what you've written after said second reading:
1) your statement that grenville did not break anyone to the point where it cannot be fixed - you referenced therapy immediately prior to this. While I'm not disagreeing with your statement per se, I think that the fundamental issue here is that it is not the norm to have to seek therapy as a result of having attended high school. Especially considering the underlying basis for why gcc students have been, are or will be seeking therapy. The "treatment" was over the top, misguided relative to social norms and applied to those under duress. I think that you can agree with that.
2) As far as the Globe articles go, the term "sensationalism" is being thrown around a lot. Take a moment to consider the definition of "sensationalism" - the journalistic use of subject matter that appeals to vulgar tastes. So in effect what is being suggested by using this word is that the Globe is nothing more than a tabloid and they target an audience who wants to hear of other's misfortunes. This is the Globe we're talking about. They have a great reputation which I'm quite sure they are not prepared to toss out the window for the sake of a story.
Having said that, I understand the point that you're making. You're basically saying that the articles have been one-sided. I'd tend to agree with that. I'd like for you to consider this though: a big reason as to why this is coming out now is because the school has done an impressive job of showing itself in a light which it is clearly not deserving of over the years. What many on this site are seeking is that the whole picture of what the school was about is painted. The difference is that the "positive" aspects of the school were advertised over many years and principally on a smaller stage, while the negative have been released in a flurry and on a larger stage. If one wants to suggest that the Globe articles are misleading, I would suggest that GCC's portrayal of itself to parents and press over the years was more misleading and had greater negative impact overall. My opinion.
3) the reason for a person going to gcc in the first place is irrelevent. You hit the nail right on the head with my situation. Single mom who worked her butt off coupled with a hard-to-manage 13 year-old boy. I fail to see any mistakes there. Did my mom make a mistake by doing what she felt she had to in order to provide for my brother and I? Did I make a mistake by being a realtively typical 13-year-old? Have you never met a pubescent kid who acted out once in a while? Do these facts justify gcc's actions and methods?
4) Your statements about Dan O: "Do I blame Dan O. for abusing me physically, absolutely not". I'm at a loss. You honestly don't see what is wrong with that? You were warned, therefore it's ok? I say this with all due respect, but that's asinine.
5) the fact that you've chosen to post on this site, knowing that it deals with gcc, and choosing the name "priest_of_satan" says something in itself. Maybe it's a joke, I don't know. But it's a little ironic considering you apparently don't have any issues with the school. |
gcc_1981_grad
New member
Username: gcc_1981_grad
Post Number: 17
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 70.51.146.194
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 11:34 am: |
|
Pstof stan (•••••• off stan)
It is a healing process to be able to openly discuss issues that you have carried around with you for years. It is very fortunate that there are people that understand and are able to share these testaments. In the end the people that discuss them are stronger and better for it. It makes no sense to articulate your anger and judgment of this process. Unless of course you are looking for an argument. |
dignityquest
New member
Username: dignityquest
Post Number: 24
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 38.116.200.40
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 11:53 am: |
|
I endorse and appreciate Jes's response. I think I'm faitrly well qualified to speak, I lived there and C0fJ for 13 years, as a student, staff kid and staff member. There are certainly positives and I highlite them often But the systematic abuse of power in the name of religion was used at GCC over a long period in an inhumane and destructive manner. It must be talked about and if your experiences (p of s) were differnt, feel lucky and listen, please! |
tabby1979
Member
Username: tabby1979
Post Number: 55
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 207.216.241.43
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 11:58 am: |
|
Hmmmm are you the type of person that likes to get a rise of out someone or likes to throw the first punch in the bar because someone didn't look at you right...as I told you on Facebook POS - this is not complete sensationalism on the Globe & Mail's part, I am not a CoJ or Staff Member/Kid, I am an alumni of the school and it happened. Sure life goes on, but you know what, you need to be a little more sensitive in your posting to those people out there that are still hurting and still reeling from the effects of that school. I certainly have dealt with my issues about the what the school did to me, spiritually and emotionally, but I am here to support and offer support to those who need it and to ensure this kind of thing never happens again.
Tabby (Lois) |
survivor1101
New member
Username: survivor1101
Post Number: 10
Registered: 9-2007
Posted From: 76.65.199.38
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 12:39 pm: |
|
POS,
Please do not minimalize what others went through because you can laugh at your own experience. I will leave it at this because others have already said everything I wanted to. |
rozpriceenglish
Member
Username: rozpriceenglish
Post Number: 98
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 172.129.132.14
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 2:25 pm: |
|
Great post, Jesse - I would agree 100% with your response.
It's funny, but I was just talking about the whole publicity thing last night with my husband, and our take is this: For 37 years, GCC has controlled the PR and have had wonderful, stunning, stellar reviews. If it is another 37 years before something wonderful, stellar and stunning is mentioned again... I'd call that balance.
Of course that's not going to happen, but I have no problem with the harsh realities being portrayed - perhaps it will save some other kids at other schools similar experiences. There are 'christian' schools all over the world where indoctrination and rigidity approaches cultish proportions.
Shine the light, baby. Shine on, shine on... |
former_gcc_grl
New member
Username: former_gcc_grl
Post Number: 25
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 64.231.104.176
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 3:20 pm: |
|
I would like to address the posting by family love by first saying THAT'S MY MOM!! I am so proud of what she has written.
I started the thread "how much does your family know". I was more nervous about my mom dealing with the news in the Globe and Mail than I was for myself. I wanted to spare her any further guilt for having sent me away. I honestly do not harbour any resentment towards her about what happened at GCC. I know she did what she thought what was best at the time and sadly she was misled. I am angry at FF for what happened to me but I'm also angry for the hurt parents will be feeling now as they discover the truth of what went on behind closed doors.
Thank you so much to everyone who welcomed my mom to this board with such warmth. Just like us I think it is very important for her to know she is not alone. She needs to understand other parents share the same feelings of hurt, anger, betrayal, guilt etc.
To my mom: It is not a case of me needing to forgive you. You did not do anything wrong. You tried your best to find help for a child who was dealing with difficult times in her life. In spite of what FF put me through I have become a strong person which, as you know, has helped me through many battles since. Please do not harbour any more guilt. I do not hate you, I do not resent you, I do not blame you. Thank you so much for your posting here.
**big hugs** |
priest_of_satan
New member
Username: priest_of_satan
Post Number: 10
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 74.114.251.86
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 4:46 pm: |
|
Guys gals...obviously I am looking very insensitive to individual/personal plights at GCC and experiences while there.
Some very good points pushed back at me - you do obviously do have the right to heal and voice oppinions - I apologize for seeming insensitive toward peoples bad experiences.
There are a few individuals championing the Down with GCC boards that are easy to figure out who they are and what they are up to (just like when they were at GCC) - and whom I went to school with - stories I am very familiar with that ARE being exagerrated in a big way. Those people know who they are...perhaps I should have been more clear in my rant.
I have received direct emails describing situations that are and not unique to to just one individual. I get it now, its about getting past all the garbage....
I have made my position clear - and when so, there is rarely a response that aknowledges this perspective - just his/her own. I got beaten by GCC...but they didn't win what-so-ever. Its all good - I do feel lucky like so many of you have said...and in turn feel bad for your pain and suffering. |
hoperules
Junior Member
Username: hoperules
Post Number: 44
Registered: 7-2007
Posted From: 74.98.217.186
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 6:03 pm: |
|
former_gcc_grl & familylove & Denise - I wanted you both to know I cleared the air. I posted my post and quickly bit the bullet after that & after sorting out my thoughts. gcc_girl, it was reading your mom's post that hit home, because it sounded much like my own mother would respond. My guilt came from not telling her sooner and I was more worried for her than me.
I wanted to thank you and hope the parents of students will continue to post, as I found it more than helpful in my approach. |
familylove
New member
Username: familylove
Post Number: 4
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 65.95.172.93
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 8:14 pm: |
|
My sweet "former-gcc-grl" daughter of mine. You forever amaze me! There are people in this world, that don't even know you, and that asounds me, because I am forever in awe. You have had so many hardships in your short life and yet you are loving, forgiving, dedicated and a superb human being. I am so thrilled to see your life turning around again and know that GCC being exposed will start a grand healing for a lot of people. Thank you for your post and kind, loving words. We both know now, why we reacted at times as we did. Thank God that we worked so hard to keep communication open over the years. (just not about this). I know that you truly wanted to spare me with the details of GCC, but please remember---I always do better knowing what I have to deal with. And I promise you I will. Loads of LOving MOM
Also to Hope rules: I am so glad you followed through with family and am so pleased I could be of help.
Like my daughter said: Thank you so much for my warm welcome and validating my feelings. Love to all of you. |
phlebas
New member
Username: phlebas
Post Number: 1
Registered: 9-2007
Posted From: 74.107.178.195
| | Posted on Thursday, September 06, 2007 - 3:21 am: |
|
Hello everyone,
I have been reading posts on this board and, hearing your stories have reopened a three year part of my life that, for most of the last 25 years, I have treated as closed, with no real desire to have anything to do with Grenville and its staff (with some exceptions).
In some ways, this is cathartic. Your posts have, for me:
- provided some closure to issues I now realize, have been, for lack of a better word, left in an emotional limbo, relegated to a period of my life that I simply didn't feel worth revisiting,
- changed some of my long-held opinions and feelings (yes, mostly negative and angry) of staff and students I knew for three years,
- answered many of my suspicions and questions about the discontinuity between the living environment endured by the students and the facade presented to outsiders (including our parents) by GCC staff.
Looking at the earlier posts, though, I feel as if I was lucky to have somehow escaped the worst of the abusive treatment endured (and inflicted) by staff, staff kids, and other students (especially prefects) on each other during this time, although it certainly didn't feel so at the time.
I can attest to the midnight (and daylight) light sessions, and subsequent punishments of extended pots 'n pans, forbidden communication with friends, psychological isolation and verbal degradation, plus the constantly instilled and reinforced fear and distrust of saying anything in front of other students and staff that could be reported and result in punishment.
However, my reaction to this environment, almost from my first day, was a non-stop feeling of rage and hatred against the school, the staff (especially Farnsworth and his real soul-mate Mary Ha[i]g), the staff kids, and the other students who participated and were supporting this abusive lifestyle. I can still recall the feeling of cold fury against staff and students while they verbally abused other unfortunate victims in light sessions in the chapel to the point of tears and near breakdown of the victim, while covertly watching Farnworth's (I still refuse to refer to him as 'Father' and consider him unworthy of wearing a minister's cloth) smile of satisfaction while presiding over this while standing by the altar, and a feeling of helplessness and cowardice that, if I stood up, it would only turn me into another victim. |
phlebas
New member
Username: phlebas
Post Number: 2
Registered: 9-2007
Posted From: 74.107.178.195
| | Posted on Thursday, September 06, 2007 - 3:25 am: |
|
... cont'd.
Ironically though, it was those same feelings of rage and hatred against the school actually that sustained me through those three years at GCC. I will never look upon the time I spent at GCC as a 'positive' experience.
After graduating in '83, I left the school still filled with rage and hatred for the school. It took me years to get over (or at least bury) these feelings, but whenever I was asked about my experiences, I refused to discuss them, except as a warning to never send anyone there as a student.
My most intense hatred, however, was reserved for Farnsworth, who I considered a morally corrupt creep. My skin still crawls whenever I remember his voice.
My feelings at the time were such that, had I found him lying bleeding on the sidewalk, I truly believe I would have walked up and kicked him in the head and left him to die.
Thankfully, the anger is pretty well gone now. I might even be willing to call an ambulance. <grin>
As for forgiveness, well, I have come to realize that I can't condemn all of the staff, nor have I ever done so. There were staff who were truly honest and uncorrupted and, in the best tradition of Christianity, truly faithful and worthy of respect, like Dr. Stewart. There were other staff (and staff kids) who, in retrospect, may have been just as screwed up by the COJ and Farnsworth's phychologically destructive influence that I can forgive, though I realize I'll probably never be able to truly identify. But, there are other staff who were true lieutenants of Farnsworth that I'll never forgive.
Regards,
DK |
dignityquest
Junior Member
Username: dignityquest
Post Number: 29
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 38.116.200.40
| | Posted on Thursday, September 06, 2007 - 9:32 am: |
|
To Phelbas (DK): I certainly remember you and am so glad you told your story here. My memories are still more images that concrete ideas in most cases. But if you are who I think you are, I have a clear "image". One, of, someone not unlike some of us staff and staff kids that just didn't fit the mold of what they were looking for so got the worst of it most of the time. My e mail is jeffrey.wilkinson@peelsb.com if you would like to share or just say hi. Regards, DQ (Jeff) |
wagener84
Member
Username: wagener84
Post Number: 73
Registered: 8-2007
Posted From: 199.214.192.50
| | Posted on Thursday, September 06, 2007 - 10:59 am: |
|
Klinger..is that you?? |
phlebas
New member
Username: phlebas
Post Number: 3
Registered: 9-2007
Posted From: 207.236.90.177
| | Posted on Thursday, September 06, 2007 - 12:17 pm: |
|
Hey Wooger!
Got it in one! 
DK |
