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sunshinesaint
Intermediate Member
Username: sunshinesaint
Post Number: 187
Registered: 3-2005
Posted From: 202.180.83.13
| | Posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 5:09 am: | 
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Part 1:
I have written many accounts here about my journey through EN and the people associated with it. Over the past couple of weeks I have felt the urging to also write about some of the positive experiences I had and that in the ministry there were and are still good and honourable people.
I firstly want to acknowledge that since posting here I have actually received a number of apologies from people within the church. So I felt the need for this to be recognized here since I have only written of my negative experiences. Most of these negative experiences were acknowleged and apologized for. I admire their courage for this…as this takes guts.
In the church we attended, yes we had some bad times as posted but we also had some favourable times – of course these don’t normally get mentioned and this is what I have felt quite bad about – that only one side of the “story” has been told.
With my discipler I also had some good times – yes there were yucky times but also good times and I believe that these people, at least the ones I have been most recently been in contact with, have in South Pacific I honestly believe are doing what they believe is best and form the genuine heart.
I want to add that when we often speak of leaders we forget of all the energy and most importantly their precious time which they invest in people like us.
At least 2 of the couples in the church were going to come and visit us – which is geographically miles and miles across town - totally out of their way to come and say hello. Both of these people have families, one of which has very young children – at least 4 kids – YET they still had the time and plan to come and visit us. |
sunshinesaint
Intermediate Member
Username: sunshinesaint
Post Number: 188
Registered: 3-2005
Posted From: 202.180.83.13
| | Posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 5:09 am: |
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Part 2:
When I was sick I also want to say that despite overall my feelings of “misplacement” from the church, the main pastor still had the courtesy to call me to find out how I was and I was also visited a number of times by the pastor couple with young children and prayed for. I have not acknowledged this and feel I need to. This couple, especially have a wonderful heart and they helped us with prayer and “emotional” support on many occasions. One time we were thinking of buying a house and this pastor came with us to “check out” the place. That is pretty cool! He was an awesome person! His wife was also wonderful and full of grace!
I feel that I have focused so much on the negative and forgotten the positive!
I also wish to say that I have gone through some serious “post baby” mental issues – I have even had to visit a psychiatrist, due to all my hormones being all over the place…I realise that some of my posts have been a testimony to this “out of control” thing happening to my body and my brain 
One of which is that when I was in dire needs of medical help, as I explained in previous posts I expected one of the pastors living close by to come and “rescue me”. I see now that this was stupid of me, I had totally over the top expectations of this person. In fact I wish to acknowledge that this same person who I was “so angry” with on my post had actually a couple of months earlier tried to come visit but I had actually cancelled out on her. So she was probably trying to play cool with me and realizing I was going through some medical issues. I would like all to see that in spite of my “angriness” at the time – they had tried VERY hard to assist me and also on many previous times in the past.
I feel that in my collected calm state now…the church we belonged to has a history of being a little “OTT” but there are wonderful people there and I think that my expectations of people have always being a bit high throughout my life. I have being disappointed with people in general – but they also have lives and their own families and they should not need to drop everything to run out and save me 
Yes I had some “scary” times and heard some “OTT” things but I think that these people are just trying their best. If I had had the guts in the first place to stand up to my discipler and say a few honest truths – then perhaps I would not have taken the whole “discipler” thing too hard. If I had focused more on what God thought rather than what my discipler thought then perhaps things would have been different |
sunshinesaint
Intermediate Member
Username: sunshinesaint
Post Number: 189
Registered: 3-2005
Posted From: 202.180.83.13
| | Posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 5:10 am: |
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Part 3:
I needed to realise that it was what God thinks that counts.
I needed to realise that I should have been honest about what I thought.
I should have stood my ground about what I believed was God’s will for my life.
I should have not been scared of “man”.
I should have looked to God and smiled more often  and not taken so many things too seriously.
I would like to also add a few things to the record:
I admire EN’s stance on follow up of new believers. I have never been in a church that is able to teach them so well on what it is to be a new believer. I really appreciate the Purple Book and I regret my mocking comments on it earlier. If I was ever to recommend a good teaching for a new believer this is it!
I also admire their zeal for winning souls.
I also admire the amount of time they effortlessly put into the church, their home groups, going around to people’s homes to pray for them. The family time they have to put aside – when they probably could do with some of their “own” time. The amount of time they have put into teaching VLI/ENLI – I still got out a lot of what I learnt…yes at the end I was too sick to finish – but I found all of the teaching really good and entertaining. While I was doing ENLI I was in my Word more than ever.
Yes there are people I have not liked, but this is to acknowledge that there have been also people who are and have been wonderful.
We have had bad experiences, but life dishes those out! I have personality clashes and now I wish to move on. I have received direct apologies for some of the tough discipling I received and I wish to acknowledge that here. This person in particular had the right heart…I see now it more of a personality clash than anything else.
I know that this can’t take away the “angst” from many of my posts. I wish to highlight that I have been a little “too hormonal” than I normally would like to be and this “angst” was less than desirable.
I have had experiences – and now I have also added the positive ones.
Perhaps this can paint the real picture for me.
Bless you and thank you for your support through this journey! |
osakadan
Advanced Member
Username: osakadan
Post Number: 778
Registered: 8-2005
Posted From: 121.82.128.186
| | Posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 5:41 am: |
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Bravo for your posting! While I might not agree 100% many people have positive experiences as well as negative experiences. It is good to be honest with ourselves about this. I think if you were to read the complete archive of the site you would find numerous people describing both events. I know I have. |
wildwood_
Intermediate Member
Username: wildwood_
Post Number: 420
Registered: 7-2006
Posted From: 75.85.7.132
| | Posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 6:55 am: |
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Big Hug Sunshine! 
I've not read all of your posts (I don't think) but in those I have have read--I heard a sad kindness not bitterness in your words and I saw the Love you did hold in your heart for many of the people who had hurt you.
So, bravo as O'Dan says for your posting on the positive things this ministry did offer to you...And for having the courage to state honestly where your heart was at "then"...and allowing yourself the "Freedom" to re-evaluate in the "now" where you were "then" as perhaps hormones return to normal and remembrance of old wounds fade away.
WOW...what a precious witness for us all to see that while being wary for the Lord's sheep...we can "rejoice" and acknowledge the work that the Lord has done in many of these Churches... With God All things are possible and His Love...does amazing things... His work and His Love are not diminished or hurt by any Truth that has been told on these boards...Jesus is the Light and the Truth....
I'll offer you my OPINION (I have seen posters on here sometimes feel concern that their words are wounding those they still love...I know at times I feel that way and I do not want to cast stones against a work of the Lord) But, I believe, we are called to these boards to post as best we 'can' "What Happened in each of our stories" we cannot cover all areas-- just our own pieces of this puzzle...LOL You said perhaps your "angst" was less than desirable (that's between you and the Lord) BUT Sunshine I heard the truth of your words. So, even if spoken in "Angst"; A Truth spoken is simply the Truth--be it come out in silken words of calmness or in quick rude words from pain. Truth will OUT. Truth will never damage a work of the Lord (He is Truth)and needs no justification or apology (unless done deliberately to wound another...and I truly didn't read that in the posts I saw...). Your words have always offered hope & healing.
And I hope others follow your example and discuss the positive experiences they had as well in these Churches.... because the end goal is to be in fellowship again (of a sort...without fear...) with them in serving Christ Our Lord.... (at least I have assumed that's the goal...to correct the false doctrines and then celebrate the Love, Mercy and Grace of God in Christ Jesus....that's my heart's goal but I yield my will to Jesus...He's much wiser than me.... |
dust
Senior Member
Username: dust
Post Number: 1277
Registered: 9-2005
Posted From: 68.52.214.120
| | Posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 10:22 am: |
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Sunshine
Sounds healthy to me....because I do believe we must all take some responsibility for the "relationships" we formed, submitted to, etc.
Just the other day I was thinking that in the past I've made some statements that I want to TAKE BACK. One of them is that I wrote that I was DEVASTATED by my Every Nation experience.
I have to take this back. EN is NOT the worst thing that ever happened to me. Everything I wrote is true, and I cannot easily escape what I believe to be more than cultish, but actually very evil. But, even at that, they could only nominally touch my life. I've lived through far far worse things. And, I started to think, am I whining when there are women all over the world who have been kidnapped into the sexual slave trade or are in cultures where it is acceptable in their faith to be beaten. So, no, I take back the HIGHER DRAMATIC WORDS, and I'll just say I was hurt, and God has restored our sense of Christian community elsewhere and used the evils of EN to show HIS goodness and real truth.
This is not to diminish the truth about EN. They deserve to be fully exposed. I have no guilt for posting here, because I live amongst them.
Sunshine, I love you and I pray that you're outlook shines, that you keep your good perspective and that you have NO GUILT. |
coppertree
Senior Member
Username: coppertree
Post Number: 1260
Registered: 2-2005
Posted From: 172.145.8.121
| | Posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 11:45 am: |
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Hi All,
Catching up, I think that a balance comes after a while, of thinking and being healed. It is a little like running away from a terrible thing, after discovering it. A distance is helpful. But I still think that we need to warn others.} |
ginger1
Senior Member
Username: ginger1
Post Number: 1937
Registered: 9-2005
Posted From: 75.55.215.23
| | Posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 1:23 pm: |
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Sunshine, All i can say is WOW ! They went out of their way and they came to apologized to you.
its true there are positive things in EN , but we also should find the balance of it all. the Good and the bad ones. I agree with Dust, they still need to be exposed.
But to those people who did apologized , Some EN people are starting to learn humility. God's grace is not far from that. God gives grace to the humble...
I am waiting for Rice Brookes to apologize to Bartoc for several weeks but I guess he rather have his ministry fall than apologize to Bartoc.
Sunshine thats a fresh news, its good to hear it.
What EN and VCF does realized is people are a lot more forgiving. I wished Rice Brookes realized that before its too late. |
40days40years
Senior Member
Username: 40days40years
Post Number: 2102
Registered: 1-2006
Posted From: 17.184.103.245
| | Posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 1:40 pm: |
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Yeah I kind of agree dust. I turn on the news and all I see are people blown to bits, family members crying...etc. So this thing has got to be put in perspective. Then you think to yourself what are you whining about??? You got it good it could be much, much worse. |