| Author | Message | ||
     juanita (juanita) Member Username: juanita Post Number: 59 Registered: 7-2005 Posted From: 216.204.139.32 |
Prices are no longer being posted at the gas pumps out here in the sticks, where the price would normally be instead says, an arm and a leg. One of our 4 year olds likes to pray at the beginning of the rap, last week when he realized he had nothing more to say he concluded his prayer with, O.K. amen. My 5 year old granddaughter loved it, so this week she has been getting on her knees, clasping her hands together and thanking God for everything from juice and popcorn to mommy and daddy and grammy and grampy, she concludes each prayer with O.K. amen. | ||
| david_munson (david_munson) Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 1146 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 65.148.11.37 |
That's cute. } | ||
| juanita (juanita) Member Username: juanita Post Number: 60 Registered: 7-2005 Posted From: 216.204.139.32 |
And so is she. I work with children and I totally love it. Kids laugh 5 times more than adults do during the course of a day, approximatley 150 plus times a day for children to 35 times a day for adults, according to some statistics. | ||
| gone_to_pa (gone_to_pa) Intermediate Member Username: gone_to_pa Post Number: 222 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 64.78.102.23 |
Juanita, Hello, good to hear from you again. Yes i love the name of the post. Take a break and laugh. My six year old daughter Rachel makes me laugh all the time. She has a heart of gold and she is 6 going on 16. She wants everything her older sister wants. Her older sister is 16. Here's one for you. Rachel lost a tooth about a month ago. So we said since it was her first we would ask the "tooth fairy" to give her $5. Well, since she got that she kinda expects the tooth fairy to kick out five dollars everytime another tooth gets loose.As she was ready to loose her second one and said she was hoping for 5 or 10 dollars, I turned and told her. " I had a talk with the tooth fairy on the phone last night and she said lots of kids are losing their teeth lately so she might have to settle for a dollar or two" Rachel turned to me and said, "don't tell me that daddy, your the tooth fairy and I see a bunch of money sitting over there on the table by the bed" I laughed so hard and told her she's to smart for her own good. She then replied, I also know your the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. I seen all the presents in the bottom of your closet. Too much. If you have a child or grand child today, let them know how much they are loved. I have a Daddy's girl, and you know; I wouldn't want it any other way. Children are a blessing from the Lord and he only loans them to us for a short time so make the most out of it while you can. You might wonder why I said that. Because yesterday, my 16 pulled up in my wifes car (soon to be hers) and I started to cry. Why, because it seemed like only yesterday I was tucking her into bed, and making sure her nightlight was on. WOOWW, how time flies. Thanks for starting the Thread Juanita, I think some around here needed to here this. May the Lord bless you and yours. Gone to PA | ||
| lana (lana) Intermediate Member Username: lana Post Number: 413 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
I laugh whem my cat sits in my mop bucket, who peeks out of a cupboard, who watches TV. who rules my house! | ||
| sojourner (sojourner) Advanced Member Username: sojourner Post Number: 550 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 68.160.161.217 |
I love cats. How about this. I went to the dentist yesterday. He was so young! I had this thought. "You know you are getting old when you could adopt all of your doctors." | ||
| mercyreigns (mercyreigns) Advanced Member Username: mercyreigns Post Number: 615 Registered: 11-2004 Posted From: 65.8.132.6 |
you know you've been a patient too long when you know more than your doctors.  | ||
| david_munson (david_munson) Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 1150 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 65.143.81.86 |
Warning,warning.this IS a threat! I'm going to viciously kick you in the funny bone!(Well,I hope so anyway) --------------- Goldfish... Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat!" } | ||
| david_munson (david_munson) Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 1165 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 65.143.81.167 |
I am not a cat hater. I am not a cat hater. I am not a cat hater. I am not a cat hater. LOL } | ||
| sojourner (sojourner) Advanced Member Username: sojourner Post Number: 571 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 68.162.246.11 |
David that is too funny and I love cats. Thinking of you often friend. Mindful of the passage you are going through. | ||
| david_munson (david_munson) Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 1168 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 65.143.79.51 |
Dumbest Quotes Ever These were sent in by a subscriber and we cannot attest to their accuracy...But aren't they hilarious? Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. ---- "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey ---- "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign. ---- "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. ---- "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC. ---- "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents. ---- "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas. ---- "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark ---- "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH) ---- "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle ---- "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca ---- "The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst. ---- "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor. ---- "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, former US president (to perhaps be fair, we'll do Bushisms another day) ---- "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, former US Vice President ---- "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery ---- "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina ---- "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman } | ||
| orangetwopay (orangetwopay) Intermediate Member Username: orangetwopay Post Number: 160 Registered: 11-2004 Posted From: 216.171.177.69 |
hahah good ones mr. munson... ...just know that there are always good ones on tap over at liquid waves... http://liquidwaves.blogspot.com enjoy! | ||
| david_munson (david_munson) Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 1170 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 63.235.33.61 |
More Interesting Newspaper ads FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES: Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered: Speaks German. FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG: Looks like a rat. Been out a while..better be a reward. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.. Also 1 gay bull for sale. NORDIC TRACK: $300 Hardly used, call Chubby GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300 WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie. (AND THE BEST ONE) FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything. } | ||
| david_munson (david_munson) Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 1191 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 65.150.248.192 |
Weird Labor Math The year is made of 365 days having 24 hours, 12 of which are night time hours which add up to 182 days. This leaves you with 183 days of work minus 52 Sundays which leaves you 131 days to work minus 52 Saturdays which leaves you 79 days to work and there are four hours each day set aside for eating which adds to 60 days which leaves you 19 days for working, and are entitled to 15 days for your vacation which leaves you 4 days left for work minus 3 days usually taken off due to illness or other emergencies, which leaves you one day to work which happens to be a Labor day, which is a holiday. } | ||
| david_munson (david_munson) Intermediate Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 179 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 65.138.13.36 |
The Service The funeral was held way back in the country and the young minister got lost on the way. When he arrived an hour late, he saw a backhoe and crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. The workmen were eating lunch. The diligent pastor went to the open grave to find the vault lid in place.... but still he poured out his heart and preached an impassioned and lengthy service. Returning to his car, the young minister felt that he had done his duty and he would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, in spite of his tardiness. As he got into his car, he overheard one of the workers say, "You know George, I've been putting in septic tanks for 25 years, and I ain't never seen anything like that before; sort of gives new meaning to the term "Holy Crap."  } | ||
| toolmahass (toolmahass) Junior Member Username: toolmahass Post Number: 37 Registered: 3-2005 Posted From: 24.58.112.179 |
If you like that, check out this... http://liquidwaves.blogspot.com/2005/10/carls-counsel.html#comments | ||
| countdown New member Username: countdown Post Number: 23 Registered: 4-2006 Posted From: 204.228.216.182 |
Nice, very nice! | ||
| coral Member Username: coral Post Number: 71 Registered: 4-2006 Posted From: 24.48.249.30 |
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals,sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a drop-dead gorgeous, topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said "Good morning, Father. Good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them. Once again the two priests (incognito) settled on the beach, in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a while, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing a string, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said "Good morning, Fathers," and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, "Just a minute young lady." Yes?" she replied. "We are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests - dressed as we are?" She replied, "Father, it's me .. Sister Mary Francis! | ||
| bosubey Junior Member Username: bosubey Post Number: 41 Registered: 10-2005 Posted From: 71.136.91.0 |
Once upon a time a beautiful princess ticked off her fairy godmother who in turn changed her into a frog and tossed her into the pond in a neighboring kingdom. The next morning the prince of that kingdom was out taking a walk when he heard the cries of the princes and went to investigate. When he picked her up she said, "kiss me quick and I'll turn into a beautiful princess". Instead he put her into his pocket. Later that morning he took the frog out of his pocket and again she said, "kiss me quick and I'll turn into a princess". Again he put her back into his pocket. He took her out at lunch and again at dinner. Each time she said, "kiss me quick and I'll turn into a beautiful princess". And each time he put her back into his pocket. When he took her out at bedtime she yelled "what's the matter with you? Don't you want a beautiful princess". "Nah", he said. "I just want a talking frog". | ||
| boss_martian Advanced Member Username: boss_martian Post Number: 858 Registered: 11-2004 Posted From: 12.110.99.43 |
A couple gets married and goes to the islands for their honeymoon. As they get off the airplane at the small airport, they both hear the pounding of drums in the distance. Because they're in the islands, they don't think much of it. They take the shuttle bus to the hotel. When they get out of the bus, the drums are still pounding. They check in to the hotel, go up to their room and out to the balcony. Still, the drums continue to play. Finally, the couple gets tired of the drums and retreats the relative quiet of their room. Even with the windows closed, they can still hear the tribal rhythms of many drums. The incessant drums destroy their romantic mood and they're barely able to sleep. The next morning, the drums are still playing. The husband decides to go down to the hotel front desk to find out why the drums are still playing. He approaches the front desk, obviously irritated. "Why are these damn drums constantly playing?" the husband asks. The woman behind the counter is even more upset than the husband! "Drums MUST play! Drums must NEVER stop!" The husband is puzzled. "Why must the drums never stop?", he asks. "If drums stop, bass solo START!!!!!" | ||
| boss_martian Advanced Member Username: boss_martian Post Number: 859 Registered: 11-2004 Posted From: 12.110.99.43 |
A couple gets married and goes to the islands for their honeymoon. As they get off the airplane at the small airport, they both hear the pounding of drums in the distance. Because they're in the islands, they don't think much of it. They take the shuttle bus to the hotel. When they get out of the bus, the drums are still pounding. They check in to the hotel, go up to their room and out to the balcony. Still, the drums continue to play. Finally, the couple gets tired of the drums and retreats the relative quiet of their room. Even with the windows closed, they can still hear the tribal rhythms of many drums. The incessant drums destroy their romantic mood and they're barely able to sleep. The next morning, the drums are still playing. The husband decides to go down to the hotel front desk to find out why the drums are still playing. He approaches the front desk, obviously irritated. "Why are these damn drums constantly playing?" the husband asks. The woman behind the counter is even more upset than the husband! "Drums MUST play! Drums must NEVER stop!" The husband is puzzled. "Why must the drums never stop?", he asks. "If drums stop, bass solo START!!!!!" | ||
| dancer2 Member Username: dancer2 Post Number: 69 Registered: 1-2007 Posted From: 80.186.168.180 |
What did the bassist get on his SAT? Drool. How do you know if the band's drum riser is level? The drool come out evenly from both sides of the drummer's mouth. How can you tell when the lead singer is at your front door? He can't find the key and he doesn't know when to come in. Old jokes about guitarists and keyboard players must wait for another day. | ||
| sister_mary Intermediate Member Username: sister_mary Post Number: 213 Registered: 3-2005 Posted From: 83.102.66.91 |
Somebody is vomiting, because the pizza was not good! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J36MKJyOYI&eurl= I think this video has no taste at all! | ||
| david_munson Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 3721 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 4.156.99.142 |
You Told Her What? A woman went to doctors office where she was seen by one of the new doctors. After about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down in another room and told her to relax. The older doctor marched down hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor calmly continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?" } | ||
| cordell Senior Member Username: cordell Post Number: 1520 Registered: 6-2005 Posted From: 66.69.35.7 |
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." | ||
| duncwashburn Member Username: duncwashburn Post Number: 61 Registered: 5-2005 Posted From: 71.232.232.140 |
Three blondes want to become detectives. Initially they needed to be interviewed. The first goes into the head detective's office and he shows her a picture of a criminal and tells her to tell him something that she infers from the picture. After thinking about it for a half an hour she says that the criminal has one ear. The detective said she fails because she was looking at a profile view and 'of course there is only one ear.' The second blonde enters the office and is given the same test. After only 15 minutes she says the criminal has one eye. Again the detective said she failed for the same reason. The third blonde goes in and it took her just 5 minutes of examining the same photo the other two looked at. She told the detective that the criminal wore contact lenses. The detective was quite taken back. He excused himself and checked the files of the criminal. Sure enough the convict had contacts on when booked. Back with the third woman he told her he was impressed and asked how she knew. She said, 'anyone that has one eye and one ear must can't wear glasses.' | ||
| kregerm New member Username: kregerm Post Number: 20 Registered: 1-2007 Posted From: 139.139.193.12 |
A pastor and two of his friends from the congregation went bear hunting, and all three saw a bear at exactly the same time. They raised their guns and fired, and the bear fell. Then came the discussion about who shot the bear. The mystery deepened as they searched for bullet holes and couldn't find any. Finally, the man who was inspecting the head whistled in amazement and said, "I guess the pastor got him." "Why's that?" the second parishioner demanded. "Well, it went in one ear and out the other." | ||
| david_munson Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 3723 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 4.156.99.144 |
 } | ||
| sidethorn Senior Member Username: sidethorn Post Number: 1035 Registered: 1-2006 Posted From: 69.143.132.88 |
Hilarious!!!! Reminds me of some of those useless messages I heard at GGWO. In one ear and out the other!!!! | ||
| dancer2 Member Username: dancer2 Post Number: 80 Registered: 1-2007 Posted From: 80.186.149.201 |
Ahh, bear jokes! O.K.: A Finn went to work at a lumber camp up in the Yukon. The old lumberjacks decided to give him a proper initiation. They told him there were three things he had to do to become one of them: drink a quart of "white lightning" in one sitting, rape the ugly old camp cook (the only woman within 100 miles) and kill a bear with a knife. The Finn agreed. He started with the moonshine, and polished it off in record time. "Now the bear," he said, and he pulled out his hunting knife and stumbled off into the woods. Hours past. It became dark. The lumberjacks started to worry. Then they began to hear loud bear roars from off in the distance, and they were sure the Finn was a gonner. The next morning at breakfast no one dared to look anyone else in the eye, until they hear a rustle in the bushes and the Finn appears. He looks like hell, cuts and bruises everywhere. He sits down at the end of the table, sighs, and with a bit of a grin says to them, "O.K., I finished with the bear. Now where's this old woman I'm supposed to kill with a knife?" (Does this make me good for something, Cordell?) | ||
| david_munson Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 3735 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 4.156.45.17 |
HOW TO CLEAN A CAT 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. 3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any thing they can find. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power wash and rinse” which I have found to be quite effective. 6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself. Sincerely, A DOG } | ||
| anon_brief Advanced Member Username: anon_brief Post Number: 599 Registered: 11-2004 Posted From: 152.163.100.10 |
Rape? Nice. | ||
| david_munson Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 3737 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 4.156.105.86 |
} | ||
| sister_mary Intermediate Member Username: sister_mary Post Number: 224 Registered: 3-2005 Posted From: 83.102.66.219 |
Dave, about your cat-story... that was naughty. I think that kind of persons head should be bent into the toilet and put some shampoo and cold water flushed four times and what will that feel? Some boys experienced this kind of bugging when they were at school... why let poor cats experience the same? Only Satanists torture animals. One old Finnish person once got fed up with a stinky cat that always •••••• inside and the smell was awful...She once took the poor cat beside a rocky wall and suddenly, in a second, took the cats back legs in her hands and smashed the cat on the wall, in one evil second... Never test a womans wrath if she has studied the 6th adn 7th book of Moses... I think that woman has got her reward from God. Also another woman tried to get rid of a untidy cat by putting it into a sack with stones and throwed it into the lake, but the cat teared the sack, swam to the shore groaning and never came home back again... ----------------------- But I love my cat. I have never treated him like that. It is a half Persian cat with long fur and when I wash him, he likes the warm shower and shampoo that is babyshampoo and does not fight. Of course I was him very quickly and dry him with a huge towel but he understands that washing is necessary... Be nice to your pets, please! They are our best friends! Happy Valentines Day! If you want the cat enjoys the bath, teach it from the kitten-age to play in warm water: put a small fishbisquite floating in the water and the cat enjoys catching it or a real small fish! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBnJfBkVcLw&mode=related&search= | ||
| sister_mary Intermediate Member Username: sister_mary Post Number: 225 Registered: 3-2005 Posted From: 83.102.66.219 |
But about flushing: during last Second World War some stupid women fell in love with German soldiers and wanted to travel with them to Germany. Soldiers took the to their navyships. But of course they could not take them with them to Germany, because they had already wives there waiting and children. So they put these stupid Scandinavian women to a net and tossed into the sea... Also a Finnish man got fed up with his wife he thought was flirting too much with other men: he took her to a romantic pondrowing evening and then tossed her into the pond and quickly rowed away... But the wife swam to the shore and quickly moved out from his house and divorced for good... | ||
| david_munson Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 3755 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 4.156.99.249 |
Mary,Mary,Mary, it's a joke. (see thread title) It gets worse too. LOL --- Cat Gets Killed A little boy is gone to school one day and while he is gone, his cat gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, "But don't worry, the cat is in Heaven with God now." The boy replied, "What's God gonna do with a dead cat?" --- Mary, I have a cat that plays fetch like a dog and I love him to pieces. Humor is humor though and I love humor. } | ||
| sister_mary Intermediate Member Username: sister_mary Post Number: 226 Registered: 3-2005 Posted From: 83.102.66.219 |
Yeah, my cat Mike the Exemplary would not like any flushing baths... http://www.animalinelmondo.com/images/gatto/siberian-cat.jpg But he loves fresh fish! | ||
| cordell Senior Member Username: cordell Post Number: 1591 Registered: 6-2005 Posted From: 24.155.111.194 |
Last cat I had down here I named "Roadkill" and sure enough... | ||
| sister_mary Intermediate Member Username: sister_mary Post Number: 228 Registered: 3-2005 Posted From: 83.102.66.219 |
USA did not sell missile equipment for Finnish Hornet-planes, says the morning news today. If we join NATO what shall we do with Hornets without missiles, shall we shoot flowers? What a pity that we have not president Kekkonen, who was so good in negotiating agreements to the east, west, north and south! But here is a story about president Kekkonen at his barber: Barber asked: What shall we do now, because you have only four hairstrings? -Let's put the parting line to the left. Next time Kekkonen said: -Lets put the parting to the right. Next time Kekkonen said: -Lets put the parting to the centre. Where shall we put the fourth hairstring: -Let it be.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oZYqAeIdYk | ||
| dancer2 Member Username: dancer2 Post Number: 91 Registered: 1-2007 Posted From: 80.186.149.201 |
The follies of American foreign policy aren't appropriate for a joke thread, SM! And BTW, I was only joking about the men of this country messing with bears in that way. | ||
| david_munson Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 3758 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 4.156.105.133 |
Cordell, I wish I could show you the pic I have offering a free cat. You'd be on the floor. } | ||
| cordell Senior Member Username: cordell Post Number: 1605 Registered: 6-2005 Posted From: 66.69.35.7 |
scan and email to: somebonus@yahoo.com I am always game for a yuk-yuk! | ||
| cordell Senior Member Username: cordell Post Number: 1610 Registered: 6-2005 Posted From: 24.155.111.194 |
Thanks, Dave that was WAY TOO politically incorrect for FN--but damn funny; to which I respond with an ultra clean "church joke": Why is a church prayer meeting like an organ recital? "Oh Dear Lord, we lift up our sister Edna with her liver trouble, our brother Earl with his kidney stones, Ethel's cousin Lucy with her lung-spot, Ed's constant stomach indigestion and Ernie's spotty heart rhythm..." | ||
| listener Member Username: listener Post Number: 60 Registered: 4-2005 Posted From: 199.46.198.234 |
Thank you for that one, Cordell - I forwarded it to my musically inclined children (my two youngest). Yesterday was a wonderful snow day during which I enjoyed the company of my wife for pretty much the entire day. Too bad it means that I will work the hours today and tomorrow to try to catch up. Sorry to have been so thoroughly left behind in the discussion on the other thread. I will put some of your suggested reading onto the incredible backlog list. You have been positively prolific (profuse? profligate?) in your posts the past few weeks. If you don't mind me asking...do you suddenly have more time than usual? Did you get to retirement? | ||
| cordell Senior Member Username: cordell Post Number: 1611 Registered: 6-2005 Posted From: 66.69.35.7 |
nope, not retired. self employed. getting busy very very soon much to the pleasure of many. | ||
| david_munson Senior Member Username: david_munson Post Number: 3766 Registered: 9-2005 Posted From: 4.156.102.29 |
Factnet politically correct? I'm going to have a stroke if I can find my oar. } | ||
| anon_brief New member Username: anon_brief Post Number: 19 Registered: 11-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.74 |
Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement. When his plane arrived there was a limousine waiting to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. "You know", he said, "I am 87 years old, and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?" The driver said, "No problem. Have at it." So, Billy got into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo. He got out of his patrol car prepared to ticket the driver. The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to see who behind the wheel. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law, but I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person." The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?" The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that." The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president." The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that." The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?" The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!" | ||
| redsnapper New member Username: redsnapper Post Number: 3 Registered: 8-2005 Posted From: 216.183.184.253 |
thank you Anon that made me laugh |
