My experience with Children of God/The Family, Part II
Part I : Part II : Part III : Part IV : Part V : Part VI : Part VII : Part VIII : Part IX : Part X : Part XI
I tried to discuss the whole idea of God and Jesus with some of my close friends. Some of them scoffed at me. Others talked philosophically in order to appear cool (people talked about everything in the sixties). But there was only one friend who seemed remotely willing to give the thought an honest chance. Karen was 15, very pretty and talented. She played guitar, and was good at everything she tried. She agreed to go back and visit with me again. We even bought a Bible and tried to read it, from Genesis of course. She liked the people but was not interested in joining.
It was not very easy to understand. A guy we knew even brought a copy of a book called "Chariots of the Gods" to the high school to discuss the possibility that Ezekiel's Chariot might have been a sighting of aliens.
When Karen and I did visit again, the band member Jason was nowhere to be found. There were two other fellows who spent the whole evening talking with us, Barbabus and Adriel.
They quoted the Bible for every arguement and actually scared me a lot by showing me the verses in Revelations that talked about the end of the world.
Barnabus said,"There has never before in all of earth's history been the capacity to totally destroy the earth, like now, with the atomic bomb. What more proof do you need!"
That night I had nightmares about a holocost and went into the bathroom at home and actually got down on my knees in the bathroom and cried, praying for Jesus to forgive me my sins and help me to have the strength to know what to do.
After two more visits I had a complete breakdown at lunch time at my highschool. I actually hallucinated that the whole school was the tool of Satan to teach us lies against God. This is what the group members had been emphasizing to me.
I stood up on the lunch room table in a crowded cafeteria and shouted that they were all believing and living lies and I was going to leave this evil and serve Jesus.
With a small crowd in tow, I went to my locker, dumped all my books on the floor and walked out of the school shouting, "I am going to serve the Lord Jesus."
Nobody did anything, not the teachers watching, not my friends, no one.
I marched home, almost in a daze as if I were in a movie, where my mother fluttered about frantically, talking a mile a minute about, "How would I support myself, and what if they were perverts, where could she contact me... etc. etc." Finally, with tears in her eyes she begged me to call her that night just so she would know I was alright. She told me she would tell my father nothing until I had really decided.
"Why are you doing this?" She said. I answered, "A high school diploma is worth nothing in Heaven, only what you have done for God." She implored, "Why don't you let me take you to a convent where you could serve God, if you are that sincere." My answer was simple, "This is where and when God called me and like his disciples on the beach, I must go."
At the commune they were just beginning supper. One young man of the group got up and got me a plate full of food from the big vats lined up on the set of long wooden tables, while Barnabus and two other guys read to me from the Bible.
There were mashed potatoes, mashed turnips, brocholi, squash, green beans and a tiny piece of chicken. Then they offered coffee and some bread. There always seemed to be lots of coffee, and everyone would form long lines to get the food. The thing I found unusual was that one line was guys and the other girls. The guys line went first and the girls after. When I casually asked about that, they changed the topic.
When it came time for the coffee house to close around midnight, the fellow who had first greeted me, Jubal, at the front desk, who also played lead guitar in the band, told me I had to leave or decide to stay for good.
I was wavering because I thought maybe it was a bit fast. "I could always come back tomorrow," I said. "If I am going to stay, I promised my mom I would call her." Jubal smiled, "We don't have a phone here. You'll have to go down the street to a phone booth to call."
I was worried. This was downtown Toronto on a Friday night and it was a dangerous place for a young girl. Besides, the last streetcar was about to go. If I did not catch it, I would be stuck here. "Couldn't I just spend the night and decide tomorrow?" I asked.
"NO, that's not what God is asking of you, he wants total commitment, he that forsaketh not his father and mother, yea, and all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple."
"Well, couldn't one of the guys walk me to the phone booth and back then?" Jubal smiled and laughed,"There you go again, we must serve the Lord, let the dead bury their dead. Don't you see what God is doing with you?" Jubal asked. "Just as the Psalm says, yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil! He is testing your faith that He loves you enough to protect you!"
I suddenly felt that either I prove to God that I trusted Him totally with my safety, or I was a complete phony.
With that I raced down to the restaurant and called my mother to tell her that I was joining and not coming back.
When I got back, everyone was gathered around in a big circle holding hands, with their eyes closed and chanting something in a strange language. They looked ecstatic. I was a bit frightened. Truth be told, I felt like turning around and running.
Jubal smiled when I came in and hugged me. He locked the door behind me and took my hand to bring me to join the circle.
One of the very pretty ladies, Kezia, who also played violin in the band began praying for me, using my name. I was shocked because I could not figure out how she knew my name. I had never even spoken to her.
She asked the Lord to accept me into his fold and put an army of angels around me to protect me from Satan and his demons who would try to snatch me away. This frightened me.
Then she asked me to pray with her out loud to accept Jesus into my heart and to have the Holy Spirit descend upon me.
The thought of a Spirit descending on me also frightened me. I had to go to the bathroom also. Instantly there went a tremendous shiver through my whole body and I became literally, high! My heart was pounding out of my chest and I felt like everyone could hear it.
When the prayer was done, all the girls gathered around me and began group hugging me. I remember I felt like I was suffocating, as if they were hanging on to me for life.
Then they brought us upstairs to the "girls' room". This is where 8 of us girls were to sleep. Another two or three rooms were for the couples. Two couples per room.
They told me I was to sleep in the big bed between two sisters. Bethesda and Sunshine were to share the bed with me. I noticed a bathroom on my way up the stairs. I also noticed that at the bottom of the stairs was a door to the street. I imagined that after everyone went to sleep I could leave through that door.
I mentioned that I had to go to the bathroom. Bethesda shot up beside me and tossed her arm around my shoulder, telling me she was from this moment on to be my "Buddy", a sort of spiritual guide to make sure Satan did not get me while I was so fragile.
I remember flinching away from her and running into the bathroom. She raced after me, almost getting her big nose caught in the door as I slammed it. I was sweating and confused.
"What is going on?" I thought,"What if they are all lesbians!"
Then she called to me from outside the bathroom door, "I am going to share some great Bible verses with you while you wash up." She sat out there for the longest time reading me the Bible. I felt like I was in a bad movie.
As things got a little quiet, she had stopped reading, suddenly, there was a pounding on the door. I thought I would have a heart attack. A loud voice boomed through the room, a deep voice told me, "You come out of there now young lady, it is lights out, we're all going to bed."
When I opened the door, a man with fierce shining blue eyes, thick black hair and beard peered down at me.
"I am Amaziah," he said and pointed me toward the bedroom, as if I was a bad dog. "Bethesda, get her to bed," he ordered. She quickly and humbly grabbed my arm and shuffled me into the room.
"Who was that!" I asked. She smiled and said, "That's Amaziah, he is our Shepherd, you make sure you listen to him, The Lord speaks directly to him, he watches out for our souls."
It took a while to sleep but I finally could not stay awake any longer.
End of Part II
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